Questions tagged [politeness]
Questions where acting with consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy is important. Include other tags for cultural context! For questions regarding someone else being rude, use the "rudeness" tag instead.
346
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I'm 24 with a 4-year-old son. How to handle uncomfortable questions from people?
I'm 24 years old and I have a 4 year old son who was conceived by accident. I don't know about other countries but that's definitely not usual in mine (Spain).
My son's mother and I broke up about ...
- 1,021
122
votes
14
answers
27k
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How to deal politely with people asking about your job but unable to understand it?
I work as a researcher in a very abstract field of Mathematics (this kind of thing) It is very pure Mathematics, without any concrete applications. When I meet somebody for the first time, they often ...
- 1,249
115
votes
11
answers
28k
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How to politely notify in an online conversation that I am a woman?
Context
I am a woman and I sometimes post things online, on Stack Exchange for instance. Usually, my posts are very neutral and do not provide any hint of my gender.
It seems that most people assume ...
- 937
109
votes
8
answers
40k
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How can I tactfully refuse to switch seats on flights?
On flights, seatmates (strangers near my seat) have asked me to swap my aisle seat (reserved in advance, sometimes paid for), usually to my disadvantage as their seat has some snag (dirtier, narrower, ...
user2423
107
votes
8
answers
22k
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How to avoid explaining science to strangers
So, I was at a Barbeque the other day and a situation occurred that, well, I'm getting tired of. It happens almost every time I meet a new group of people.
When you meet someone, eventually you come ...
- 959
105
votes
11
answers
23k
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How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset?
A close family member of mine is a raw vegan, anti vaxer, anti-antibiotics, anti-fluoride, believes in chemtrails, has a machine that filters water and makes it alkaline, eats lots of supplements, ...
- 1,511
92
votes
14
answers
127k
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How to respond when a Doctor's Receptionist asks the reason for the appointment, after confirming appointment is made?
I have recently come across a situation that made me feel very uncomfortable, especially if it had been more of a personal issue.
I contacted my doctor yesterday with pains in my hand/wrist as I didn'...
- 951
90
votes
16
answers
37k
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How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard?
Please note, I don't want to be mean or anything and I don't want to go "fat shaming" or things like that.
Context
With my SO and a couple of friends, we planned a hike for this summer. The GR20 is ...
- 777
86
votes
9
answers
22k
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What is the etiquette for asking a dog owner before I pet their dog?
Dogs are what I see mostly out on my day to day activities and I see some tied up outside shops and I'll pet them, I'll also pet some in passing i.e. just stroking them as I walk past and sometimes as ...
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86
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8
answers
65k
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How to reject a proposal from a close friend?
I have been friends with a girl at work for more than a year. I have always seen her as a friend and I am pretty sure I never did anything to lead her on. I am going to switch jobs in a couple of ...
81
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8
answers
18k
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How to discuss girlfriend's weight loss plans?
My girlfriend is in the process of losing weight, and the topic comes up between us occasionally (at her instigation), usually with a context of "I'm going to be so much hotter in a few months".
She'...
- 651
80
votes
9
answers
26k
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How do I stop making people jump at home and at work?
I make a lot of people jump when I enter the room or try to get their attention. I am not sure what exactly I am doing wrong, but I would like to stop it so I am looking for suggestions. I have had a ...
- 609
77
votes
5
answers
19k
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Offering to share my umbrella without sounding creepy
Yesterday afternoon I (male, late 30) went to the supermarket in my neighborhood to buy something. Since the sky was menacing rain, I took along an umbrella. Lucky me, when I got out from the ...
- 641
75
votes
12
answers
25k
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Asking a coworker to discontinue his chivalrous acts towards me?
I've made a friend, Bob, in my workplace who is too much of a gentleman for my comfort level.
Initially, we became fast friends due to our shared interests and political beliefs. We often message ...
- 22.7k
72
votes
6
answers
16k
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Politely telling an incompetent software project volunteer they are too inexperienced
I am currently the project lead of an online volunteer run software project. I originally created this and work on it my in free time. There are also a few other people who took interest in this ...
- 603
69
votes
10
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21k
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How to politely deal with white people wanting to talk to me about racism/race issues
Now this is a sensitive topic, and I do not wish to offend anyone's sensibilities - but at the same time, I want to know of an effective way of dealing with the disproportionate emotional work ...
user16607
68
votes
14
answers
19k
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Dealing with a person who continuously needs help
Background
I have a "friend" who is currently employed at a job as a software developer. Unfortunately, this friend of mine isn't at all willing to look for solutions by themselves. They would rather ...
user2099
66
votes
15
answers
133k
views
How to let people know I don't appreciate being ignored in instant messaging?
When talking with people through instant messenger or texting, I find it rude when someone doesn't reply. The other day I had met up with someone I knew from school. He told me about a business idea ...
- 728
66
votes
10
answers
33k
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What could you possibly say to a friend who cooked a meal you didn't enjoy at all?
Some friends invite you to their home. There's just the 4 of you (2 couples). S/he is cooking. At the end, s/he is asking you how was the meal s/he made for you. You didn't enjoy it at all, food was ...
- 22k
65
votes
12
answers
23k
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Stopping a relationship with a good friend because It's too overwhelming and new for me
Context :
I'm in my early forties and I've always been a loner and never really made friends. Until recently I didn't even know what was so great about them.
I don't have any problems socializing, ...
- 651
64
votes
9
answers
22k
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How to make clear to people I don't want to answer their "Where are you from?" question?
I live in the UK but am not originally from here, having moved in the last decade.
Quite often when I talk to people I get asked where I'm from. It usually seems to be in response to my accent, as I'...
- 661
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7
answers
14k
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How to politely stress that I do not wish to eat something?
A couple of weeks ago me and my partner decided to change our diet/lifestyle to a mostly plant based diet. It has made us feel much better and happier. We make the occasional exception here and there ...
- 8,510
62
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6
answers
42k
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How do I politely indicate that I want to go home?
Situation: I hang out with A for a while. Having lunch together, shopping for a bit. I now feel tired and I want to go home. I don't dislike the person and I don't want to give them the impression I ...
- 640
61
votes
9
answers
13k
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How do I deal with people who can't deal with local payment customs?
I live in Japan. Japan still has a very cash oriented society especially when it comes to restaurants.
Often someone will visit from out of town and will expect to be able to (1) pay with a credit ...
- 781
59
votes
6
answers
20k
views
How do I tell a woman that her pants have a menstruation stain?
I was working in my work space today and a female coworker came to give me some information that I needed, then left. I'm male.
Suddenly, when she was on her way back to her work space, I saw a ...
- 724
59
votes
4
answers
10k
views
Dismissing a stranger asking for help without being dismissive of their possible situation?
For some background into the layout of where this situation takes place, my apartment complex has it's own dog park. Within a few hundred feet of the dog park is a large and spacious public park, ...
- 22.7k
57
votes
10
answers
20k
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How to politely interrupt recruiters who keep cold-calling me during my work hours?
About a year and a half ago I was waist deep in a job search. Having found a new job, I've since attempted to remove my resume from the internet. However, this hasn't stopped recruiters from finding ...
- 22.7k
57
votes
5
answers
13k
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How do I convince someone formalities between internet friends aren't necessary over a casual, informal text chat?
I have a friend of mine who absolutely refuses to begin conversations online by just asking me what they want, and instead insists on formalities that drive me crazy. We're online gaming friends, so ...
- 660
54
votes
11
answers
46k
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How do I get someone to call me by the name I prefer?
Let's say my name is Fred. My family and friends call me that and when I introduce myself I use that name. Well, of course you can imagine that I'm registered as Frederick, but nobody calls me that. I ...
- 2,612
54
votes
5
answers
8k
views
How to leave when I'm not part of the conversation?
This is something that I constantly run into. I don't talk much, especially in large groups, so there will often come a time when I want to leave, but don't know how to do so. I can think of two ...
- 1,433
53
votes
10
answers
18k
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Asking waiters to let you eat in peace
My problem is that whenever I go to any restaurant where they serve you food, they first take your order, then they bring it and while you are eating with your mouth full of food they have to come to ...
- 906
52
votes
4
answers
19k
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How to tell a trans couple that their overly romantic behaviour makes you uncomfortable, without coming across transphobic?
Intro:
We all have seen a couple who are so in love they have lengthy kisses in public, always display affection, call each other cute names and wherever they go or sit, they always appear to cuddle. ...
- 1,511
52
votes
4
answers
26k
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How do I get my boyfriend to remove pictures of his ex girlfriend hanging in his apartment?
Background Information: We have been together for 2.5 years. We do not live together, but visit each others apartments around 5 times a week. He is in his early 30s and I am in my mid 20s. We live in ...
- 683
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votes
8
answers
12k
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How to tell someone to be quiet immediately while listening to an announcement?
Backstory: my girlfriend and I were at a sporting event, having casual conversation, but an announcement came over the loud speaker that caught my interest and I wanted to hear.
I turned my head so ...
- 573
51
votes
11
answers
22k
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"Stole" my friend's excitement about a personal project - how to deal with the fallout
Background: I work at a woodworking shop, doing design etc. and both myself and a colleague sometimes do personal projects using the tools, machinery etc. here in our own time. These projects are ...
- 1,374
48
votes
6
answers
33k
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How do I respond when someone answers 'Yes' when I ask "Would anyone like the last [Item]?"?
So today at work we had a tray of doughnuts, my colleague called out to the office, "I'm going to have the last one unless anyone else would like it?". At this point, I realised that I don't think I'...
- 599
48
votes
10
answers
11k
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How to communicate to a new coworker that I am not comfortable being touched?
Last week a new coworker joined our team, and yesterday we were both invited to eat lunch in the work cafeteria with some other colleagues that I have known for around a year and a half. As he, ...
- 897
48
votes
13
answers
87k
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How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work?
I am the smart guy at school and people always want my help. I don't want to be rude, but they pester me and I try to escape but I can't -- I end up spending a lot of time helping them to do a ...
- 562
48
votes
8
answers
19k
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How to politely correct a teacher?
I'm a high-school student in the United States, and from time to time a teacher makes a mistake while writing on the board in front of the class. Usually, the mistakes are minor, such as forgotten ...
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Is it rude to ask if a pregnancy was planned? [closed]
When someone tells you that they (or their partner) are pregnant, is it rude or impolite to ask if the pregnancy was planned?
I imagine it depends on how close one is to the couple or one of the (...
- 3,230
45
votes
12
answers
26k
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How to get my wife to remember to say "please"
We've been married for over five years now, have two little kids and our relationship is as good as can be. We both value harmony very highly and thus tend to avoid an open conflict whenever possible -...
- 815
45
votes
7
answers
14k
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How to avoid "who are you?" as a response to "how are you?"
Last week, I got a phone call from an unknown number, and the conversation went this way:
Her : How are you?
Me : Who are you?
To put things in context, she turned out to be an old ...
45
votes
10
answers
15k
views
How to answer a technical question without sounding patronizing
Context :
My girlfriend (let's call her V) and I, are programmers, and sometimes we ask each other questions when we believe the other may have an answer.
A few times, she’s told me that I sounded ...
user20726
44
votes
11
answers
21k
views
How to avoid answering "what were you sick with"?
I have been on "sick leave" for a little more than a week due to mental health issues. I'm now back to work and my coworkers are asking "did you have the flu?" or other questions like that.
I know ...
- 17.3k
44
votes
5
answers
12k
views
How can I ask a possible long-lost relative to prove his identity?
I found myself in a peculiar situation yesterday. I was contacted via Facebook by a person (let's call him Bob) who claimed that he was one of my mom's cousins and hadn't talked to her in over 40 ...
- 9,005
44
votes
10
answers
39k
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What do you do if someone is telling you something you already know about, such as a fact or something that happened?
One thing that has been happening lately is that people will tell me something that I already know. Naturally, I respond saying something like, "oh I heard/read about that". However, I feel like when ...
- 479
43
votes
9
answers
15k
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How can I talk to my boyfriend about chores "sharing"?
Background
I have been living with my boyfriend for three months. Both of us are working as trainees in different companies, but while he has 2 hours of daily commuting, I can reach my workplace ...
- 14.3k
42
votes
12
answers
24k
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How should I ask people to stop over explaining things?
Most people that I interact with on a daily/regular basis seem to need to over explain and qualify every statement.
An example would be:
I'm heading out shortly and your car is blocking the drive.
...
- 611
42
votes
9
answers
13k
views
Why is it socially not acceptable to point at someone with your finger?
I am on the autism spectrum and I tend to point at things, including people.
The other day, I was talking with a coworker about some tasks I needed them to do and, while I was talking, I was also ...
- 17.3k
42
votes
4
answers
7k
views
Showing a homeless person that you care about their well-being
Every day, when I go to work, I pass by a homeless person. At first, I just waved hello to them, but now I shake hands with them and, when doing that, they will start asking me questions (like "how ...
- 17.3k