Questions tagged [politeness]

A behaviour that is respectful and considerate of other people. To be used when consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy is on the line. For question regarding someone else being rude, use the "rudeness" tag.

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4
votes
1answer
477 views

How to identify and approach persons of low income with the aim to help [closed]

I apologize in advance if this seems distasteful in any way, I'm genuinely trying to be helpful. I live in a low income area in the UK, however I am fairly comfortable financially. It pains me ...
4
votes
1answer
515 views

How to non-rudely exit or change the subject of a conversation where someone is wittering

Sometimes I find myself on the receiving end of what I call "wittering," or for lack of a better term verbal diarrhea. This is essentially where someone will start talking at length, often without ...
-5
votes
0answers
546 views

My colleague keeps microwaving fish at work, how can I stop this

I have a colleague at work who must have no sense of smell or has no consideration for others nasal glands because he continues to microwave mackerel despite furious protests from his peers. We have ...
1
vote
0answers
92 views

How to avoid telling people about my job? [duplicate]

New people who I meet always ask what I do for work. This question is normal and polite to ask, but I don't always want to tell people what I do for the following reasons: My job is unusual, which ...
-1
votes
0answers
276 views

conversation with a doctor [closed]

I went to see my practitioner as I had a sorethroat. The doctor directly prescribed me antibiotics that I thought would be necessary at that time and excused me at work. So I bought the package of ...
63
votes
9answers
18k views

How to make clear to people I don't want to answer their “Where are you from?” question?

I live in the UK but am not originally from here, having moved in the last decade. Quite often when I talk to people I get asked where I'm from. It usually seems to be in response to my accent, as I'...
9
votes
1answer
649 views

When offering a ride through a ride-share app, how to politely assign obese people to the front seat?

I use a rideshare app when travelling between cities, which I often do. This saves money and is often very fun. People evaluate you as a driver, and it is important to keep a good score. I let 3 ...
14
votes
2answers
6k views

How can I politely ask if my invitation to an event was simply forgotten?

I've been in situations where my friends are invited to an event and they'll get an invitation electronically, or physically. Sometimes I won't get one even though my friends have gotten one, and I ...
1
vote
0answers
239 views

When is it ok to put pictures of other people on social media? [closed]

If you're in a photo with someone, when is it ok to put it on Facebook? Should you always ask first? I asked my friend to send me pictures he took of us. Instead of posting them publicly he messaged ...
2
votes
1answer
368 views

How to respond to a friend who wants to share her poetry? [closed]

I have a certain friend who appears to be enjoying writing, particularly poetry. Unfortunately, I do not appreciate the poetry she writes. Her poetry often reads like the inner voice of a person ...
11
votes
2answers
902 views

How to politely ask for a price for a commision, when I only intend to ask?

I wanted to ask for a price for a commission from an artist. However, my budget is lower than what I think the commission would be worth, hence I intend to only ask for the price and not buy the ...
7
votes
1answer
510 views

How to politely decline a personal service without offending the servicer?

Background I am blind. I work as a software developer in a company. I hate all kinds of gatherings. If I have a choice, I would spend my time alone with a computer. Situation I was attending my ...
2
votes
1answer
265 views

How to do you politely tell somebody to stop interrupting a conversation? [closed]

Participants: person A was telling a story; person B (me) asked a follow-up question while person A was talking (telling the story); person C (a friend) aggressively told me to stop interrupting. ...
7
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I give money for the tickets to the girl that I'm seeing?

I've been out with this girl a couple of times already, we're going out again soon and once more after that to a concert. I couldn't buy the tickets online, so she did. I've been brought up in a way ...
63
votes
15answers
51k views

How to let people know I don't appreciate being ignored in instant messaging?

When talking with people through instant messenger or texting, I find it rude when someone doesn't reply. The other day I had met up with someone I knew from school. He told me about a business idea ...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

How to tactfully tell a martial arts instructor that I was freaked out by his lack of action?

The other day I joined a martial art/combat sport class. Apart from the many positive aspects of the experience, there was unfortunately one thing that really freaked me out. When the sparring session ...
6
votes
3answers
820 views

How to ask people not to push in front of me at concerts?

I have some experience with concerts (mostly heavy-metal ones, but pretty sure it's the same for any genre). And every time some people try get to the front rows either by just walking as they have a ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

Etiquette when someone’s birthday is on the same day as the funeral of one of their loved ones

Bob’s grandmother passed away last week. Her funeral is today. It is also Bob’s birthday today. I am attending the funeral. Obviously, I offer him condolences, but do I wish him a happy birthday too? ...
3
votes
2answers
856 views

How to (politelly) tell a martial arts instructor that I am interested only in part of his curriculum?

I am increasingly under the impression that martial arts classes are really tough places when it comes to practicing Interpersonal Skills. I have failed miserably once and already more or less given ...
8
votes
1answer
742 views

How to gently ask my neighbor not to use my bins for their waste?

In the past months, there were several occasions when I found foreign waste in my personal bins. I cannot say, that was my neighbor for sure as I never saw anyone. But the waste type and content made ...
2
votes
2answers
453 views

Etiquette about crossing a door when someone also wants to cross from the opposite side?

Let's take the following situation: I'm on the outside and want to go inside Someone is inside and want to go outside The door is open (one of us is holding it) There isn't enough room for both of ...
7
votes
5answers
914 views

Do I need to keep on asking my coworker if I can lower the window blinds (in a German company)

I am doing my internship at a German company (while being a student from the Netherlands) and my German skills are limited. On sunny days, I get blinded by the sun and want to lower the window blinds. ...
20
votes
3answers
5k views

How to ask someone about something without accusing them [closed]

I would like to know how to ask someone about something without accusing them. If I want to know if someone at work has used my computer, can I ask "Have you used my computer?", without insulting ...
8
votes
2answers
971 views

How can I handle someone railroading conversations?

So I have a few fairly new friends. Most are very quiet and shy except for one person who is super confident, friendly and LOUD... lets call her Lucy. The other day the 6 of us had a barbecue where ...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

How do you deal with someone who is nosy, projects their feelings about career, and gives unsolicited advice in that area?

A friend of a friend has on multiple occasions aggressively asked how my self-study for software engineering interviews is going. Most recently I answered very briefly, because I find it too nosy and ...
44
votes
13answers
34k views

How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work?

I am the smart guy at school and people always want my help. I don't want to be rude, but they pester me and I try to escape but I can't -- I end up spending a lot of time helping them to do a ...
9
votes
2answers
995 views

How to explain to roommate from India if I'm with a guest it's not a good time to discuss roommate issues?

I live in a shared house in the US. Generally speaking it's very nice and the people I share it with are nice. There's a young lady from India who I noticed has very different views than I do. She ...
46
votes
11answers
16k views

How to avoid answering “what were you sick with”?

I have been on "sick leave" for a little more than a week due to mental health issues. I'm now back to work and my coworkers are asking "did you have the flu?" or other questions like that. I know ...
3
votes
0answers
335 views

How to politely decline an invitation to a dinner from a colleague? [closed]

TL;DR: A colleague invited me and my wife to a dinner and we don't want to go. How to politely decline? More background: I have a colleague that sometime works on the same project as I do. When he ...
0
votes
3answers
682 views

How can I find out how many photos I should take If I'm given a film camera to take a picture?

On occasion, when I go to tourist hotspots, people sometimes give me their cameras and ask me to take pictures of them. Most of the time, those are digital camera (e.g. smartphones), and it makes ...
77
votes
5answers
17k views

Offering to share my umbrella without sounding creepy

Yesterday afternoon I (male, late 30) went to the supermarket in my neighborhood to buy something. Since the sky was menacing rain, I took along an umbrella. Lucky me, when I got out from the ...
3
votes
1answer
678 views

How and why to be politically correct? [closed]

Comming from the 2nd/3rd world and living in the 1st now, I often have the problem of speaking in a way counted often as politically incorrect. Political correctness intends to avoid offense or ...
26
votes
4answers
5k views

How many photos should I take If I'm given a camera to take a picture?

I live in a fairly touristic place and get asked to take pictures of strangers a lot. When I do this, I get a little bit self-conscious thinking if they are saying to themselves "this dude is taking ...
40
votes
4answers
6k views

Showing a homeless person that you care about their well-being

Every day, when I go to work, I pass by a homeless person. At first, I just waved hello to them, but now I shake hands with them and, when doing that, they will start asking me questions (like "how ...
51
votes
4answers
21k views

How do I get my boyfriend to remove pictures of his ex girlfriend hanging in his apartment?

Background Information: We have been together for 2.5 years. We do not live together, but visit each others apartments around 5 times a week. He is in his early 30s and I am in my mid 20s. We live in ...
2
votes
2answers
545 views

How to make sure to get non-alcoholic beer at a bar? [closed]

Sometimes I have to drive by car after going to a bar. Hence at these times I don't want to drink alcohol (even though driving after drinking a modest amount of alcohol is allowed where I live, I don'...
7
votes
2answers
1k views

How to avoid sitting with friends during an exam

I have an important exam coming up and a few friends in my class want me to sit with them. Normally I would, but I'm worried about this group distracting me while I'm writing the exam. I won't discuss ...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

How to inform a friend about my will of ending the relationship?

I'm in my mid 20s and I've been friends for 20 years with this person with whom I practically grew up. We were in the same middle school, played together almost every single day after school, same ...
16
votes
2answers
10k views

How do I ask someone to be my roommate?

I am going to complete my freshman year of college this spring and I have run into a small problem. My roommate (let's call him "Jim") seems to not like the college and in all probability is going to ...
33
votes
11answers
18k views

How can I effectively tell people that their defensiveness over me bringing up an issue is part of the issue?

Seems like it would be kind of self evident, but it's something that I encounter fairly often when talking to some folks about issues of discrimination and bias that drives me crazy... When someone ...
80
votes
9answers
22k views

How do I stop making people jump at home and at work?

I make a lot of people jump when I enter the room or try to get their attention. I am not sure what exactly I am doing wrong, but I would like to stop it so I am looking for suggestions. I have had a ...
1
vote
2answers
311 views

Is there a polite/tactful way to ask someone to leave your house after they come round for dinner? [duplicate]

I sometimes have friends over for dinner. I am an introvert & after they've been here for about 2-3 hours I wish for them to leave so I can relax a little before bed alone. Is there a polite way I ...
3
votes
2answers
2k views

How do you ask your father not to get angry when he sees a male teacher is teaching his child?

Dealing with a father that gets angry when a man teaches his child in additional courses I’m 18 years male. Currently, I am pursuing 12th( the final year of High school) year education and very close ...
6
votes
1answer
489 views

How do you politely respond to people who ask too many obvious questions?

I really like helping people and I don't mind helping others with work and assignments etc. However, there are a few people who will take it very far and I've come across this a few times. For ...
8
votes
1answer
402 views

How to join an ongoing conversation without being rude?

I'm an introvert and sometimes when people are having conversations I usually tend to not engage. However, currently , I wanted to change my behavior, to be more social and engaging. And not to be ...
1
vote
3answers
820 views

How can I discuss beer without sounding like a snob?

I like beer. I like drinking it, discovering it, and I just recently started brewing it. Needless to say, one of my common topics of conversation is beer (of course there are plenty more, and beer is ...
0
votes
1answer
451 views

How do I respond to my doctor's message in which she mentions she's doing voluntary work? [closed]

I WhatsApp'd my British doctor to ask for an appointment, and she responded along the lines of Thank you for your message. I'm really happy to see you but I'm doing voluntary work in [country]. I'...
0
votes
1answer
419 views

How to politely ask for verification delay?

I've worked in a market. Suddenly they stopped my work for verification purpose. They requested me to provide a student ID card. I've sent a scanned copy of my Student ID card for verification. One ...
11
votes
3answers
6k views

How to politely turn down roommate offer for awkward reason

Awhile ago I was roommates with someone. We stopped being roommates on good terms (we both moved to different cities but are now back in the same one). My roommate became a cop. I'm still friends with ...
92
votes
14answers
64k views

How to respond when a Doctor's Receptionist asks the reason for the appointment, after confirming appointment is made?

I have recently come across a situation that made me feel very uncomfortable, especially if it had been more of a personal issue. I contacted my doctor yesterday with pains in my hand/wrist as I didn'...