We’re rewarding the question askers & reputations are being recalculated! Read more.

Questions tagged [politeness]

A behaviour that is respectful and considerate of other people. To be used when consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy is on the line. For question regarding someone else being rude, use the "rudeness" tag.

Filter by
Sorted by
Tagged with
31
votes
3answers
9k views

How to convince the other party that I'm not going to do “the right thing” as the alternative matters more to me

I went on a vacation to a coffee plantation recently. After enjoying my stay there, on the last day, some of the kids of the coffee plantation workers played football (soccer) with my dad and my ...
7
votes
3answers
536 views

How can I politely interrupt someone on the phone when I have questions about what they're saying?

I often make and receive phone calls in a business context where the other person talks with too much jargon. Occasionally I need to interrupt them with questions to get a better understanding of what ...
54
votes
4answers
18k views

How to tell a trans couple that their overly romantic behaviour makes you uncomfortable, without coming across transphobic?

Intro: We all have seen a couple who are so in love they have lengthy kisses in public, always display affection, call each other cute names and wherever they go or sit, they always appear to cuddle. ...
36
votes
6answers
8k views

How to refuse politely to play with someone as a streamer

I'm a new (game) streamer, I don't have a massive audience, and I find myself in quite a challenge. Often when I play, some viewers will ask if they can play with me (or us if I'm already playing ...
6
votes
2answers
843 views

Someone keeps bugging me to come in for a job interview. How to politely decline?

I'm in between jobs at the moment and have some temp work I've been doing to pay the bills. Often time's I work with, or at least see, the same people. The other day someone started asking me all of ...
40
votes
7answers
9k views

How to establish boundaries with a roommate without confrontation?

For some context - this is my first semester in college where I'm having a roommate, and there have been several complications. It's off-campus housing and we don't attend the same university. My ...
6
votes
4answers
708 views

How to politely tell someone in a professional setting to stop using lazy English in his e-mails

I have just received yet another e-mail from a technical contact at one of our business partners. He has a list of questions that I need to provide answers to but he uses such a lazy form of writing ...
26
votes
6answers
11k views

How can I say I am an outstanding leader without sounding arrogant? [closed]

I'm filling out a short resume sort of form to apply for a volunteer leadership position and one question I need to answer is, "Why do you want to come back as a leader? What makes you good for this ...
10
votes
4answers
853 views

How can I tell a friend that their self-published book needs editing?

Background An acquaintance of mine and his wife just self-published a very short book. Unfortunately, it has scores of grammatical mistakes on most pages. My friend and his wife have a great message ...
3
votes
3answers
966 views

How do I avoid meeting an acquaintance that comes to visit every few months?

An acquaintance visits my city for 1-2 weeks every few months because her boyfriend lives here and wants all of three of us to meet up together. I'm fine with her, but do not like her boyfriend, ...
3
votes
1answer
445 views

Is it ok to video a TV reporter without their consent?

I am on vacation in city X, and it starts raining heavily. I stop at a petrol kiosk, and a TV reporter is on camera reporting the extremely heavy rain. I want to record the TV reporter and send the ...
43
votes
13answers
29k views

How can I politely refuse to help classmates with their work?

I am the smart guy at school and people always want my help. I don't want to be rude, but they pester me and I try to escape but I can't -- I end up spending a lot of time helping them to do a ...
11
votes
3answers
2k views

How can I communicate to friends and family that I don't want a specific type of birthday gift?

Disclaimer: It is not really a sock. It is an everyday, non-consumable article that I have way too much of. My birthday is in a few months, and every single year several people give me socks. It is ...
4
votes
3answers
292 views

Politeness vs. conciseness in writing emails [duplicate]

I often find myself starting sentences with phrases like "I just want to let you know that", "I would like to ask if", "I am writing to discuss", or "I was wondering if" in emails. I could simply just ...
88
votes
16answers
33k views

How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard?

Please note, I don't want to be mean or anything and I don't want to go "fat shaming" or things like that. Context With my SO and a couple of friends, we planned a hike for this summer. The GR20 is ...
10
votes
4answers
2k views

How do I tell a friend I don't want to play their game anymore, but invite them to mine

I am in a group of friends who meet to play dungeons and dragons. The person whose house we go to often cancels because their partner can't make it. So as we are all adults we don't meet up very often ...
5
votes
2answers
862 views

How to politely repel negative suggestive comments about the work morale or atmosphere?

I am part of a group of software developers who work remotely in different parts of the world. Some of us work in the U.S. and some in 3 other countries. The colleagues that work outside of USA are ...
13
votes
3answers
1k views

Acknowledge someone's presence without encouraging conversation

I have had a friend during my college days. Unfortunately, it was only one directional and she never reciprocated my friendship appropriately. She used me for monetary purpose and mistreated me ...
9
votes
1answer
1k views

How to decline giving personal information until you recieved some in return

I need to move and find a new home to rent. The city I live in is having a housing crisis (as declared by the mayor). I think many landlords take advantage of this. I know that they’re just trying to ...
6
votes
1answer
27k views

How can I politely ask someone to call me? (As opposed to me calling them)

I recently contacted a restaurant where I had a bad experience, and a manager got back in contact with me. At the end of the email, they said: I would very much appreciate the opportunity to speak ...
4
votes
3answers
1k views

How to handle two friends talking to me at the same time?

I am a 19 years old male living in Canada. Sometimes, when I'm having a discussion with friends, two of them will start telling me something at the same time, each of them ignoring the fact that the ...
20
votes
5answers
4k views

How to convey who will be asked to join my wife and me in the delivery room without causing offense?

My wife and I have just started trying to expand our family. Last night, the topic randomly came up of who should be in the delivery room with us (if we are lucky enough to conceive) as my wife asked ...
-3
votes
1answer
492 views

What to answer to a compliment when you don't understand the intention [closed]

Context The other day at work, one of my female coworker from another team and I were working on a common task on my computer (we were discussing about our respective understanding of the problem we ...
110
votes
11answers
25k views

How to politely notify in an online conversation that I am a woman?

Context I am a woman and I sometimes post things online, on Stack Exchange for instance. Usually, my posts are very neutral and do not provide any hint of my gender. It seems that most people assume ...
53
votes
11answers
25k views

How do I get someone to call me by the name I prefer?

Let's say my name is Fred. My family and friends call me that and when I introduce myself I use that name. Well, of course you can imagine that I'm registered as Frederick, but nobody calls me that. I ...
3
votes
2answers
917 views

How to tell someone you don't remember an important event that happened?

Background While it is normal to forget events that happened in the past, there is an event I can't remember at all. This event happened 2 years ago when someone confessed(confession of love) to me. ...
58
votes
5answers
12k views

How do I convince someone formalities between internet friends aren't necessary over a casual, informal text chat?

I have a friend of mine who absolutely refuses to begin conversations online by just asking me what they want, and instead insists on formalities that drive me crazy. We're online gaming friends, so ...
6
votes
2answers
2k views

How to politely inform university accommodation housekeeping that their morning chats are waking me up?

EDIT: I fear I've come across quite poorly. I get on well with these particular cleaners and none of the below is meant as a demand, but rather a favour. There are places to sit and talk just 5m down ...
51
votes
11answers
22k views

“Stole” my friend's excitement about a personal project - how to deal with the fallout

Background: I work at a woodworking shop, doing design etc. and both myself and a colleague sometimes do personal projects using the tools, machinery etc. here in our own time. These projects are ...
9
votes
3answers
3k views

How to communicate with neighbour with banging door without making her uncomfortable

I live in Australia in a block of flats. We are the middle flat of three. Each flat has a front and back balcony. Due to the nature of the flats the back doors will bang in the wind if not secured - ...
11
votes
6answers
1k views

How can I politely tell parents of kids to stop playing with my son's toys/equipment to give him and his friends a chance?

Quite often we go to the park, or host a party and we have a few things like Stomp Rockets or Jumpers or other such things/toys. There are quite a few kids who look at longingly and want to come over (...
5
votes
2answers
893 views

Discussing going to a therapist and seeing my father

Background I'm a 22 year old male who had quite a rough past, however I will stick to what I think is important for the question. Currently I'm still a student. When I was 16 I stopped going to my ...
4
votes
2answers
2k views

How should I continue to have contact with this girl online?

Context All conversations I had with her are through text messages, games and on occasion through calls. We've known each other for 3 years, with a big pause in between of 1.5 years that ended last ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

Politely telling someone a claim they shared on social media is false?

My question is similar to this except the person is usually not passionate about it. I have friends who post things about vaccines causing autism, how bell peppers have different genders, and other ...
3
votes
3answers
2k views

Reminding lecturer to reply to previous email I sent

I sent an email to my lecturer asking for clarification about something however it has been a few days and he has not replied. Sometimes he replies to emails sometimes he does not. I need a reply fast ...
4
votes
2answers
638 views

How can I tell people that I’m not interested in donating to their charity? [duplicate]

Sometimes people will approach me in public places (such as a train station) and ask me to make a donation or to buy an item for charity. Usually they’re positioned at an entrance, exit or in such a ...
58
votes
10answers
20k views

How to politely interrupt recruiters who keep cold-calling me during my work hours?

About a year and a half ago I was waist deep in a job search. Having found a new job, I've since attempted to remove my resume from the internet. However, this hasn't stopped recruiters from finding ...
8
votes
6answers
1k views

How to explain that it upsets me to see people kill insects?

I feel like most humans have judged value of life by size since beginning of the universe, but I tend to not share that same viewpoint. For example, when something sweet is left in my kitchen, ...
66
votes
12answers
21k views

Stopping a relationship with a good friend because It's too overwhelming and new for me

Context : I'm in my early forties and I've always been a loner and never really made friends. Until recently I didn't even know what was so great about them. I don't have any problems socializing, ...
10
votes
3answers
912 views

How can I offer priority seat to a plus sized lady that I assume is pregnant?

Firstly, please do correct me if it is not right/respectful to use the phrase ‘plus-sized’ as I am unsure of how it would be taken as, in other countries/cultures. Sometimes I face the situation and ...
8
votes
2answers
884 views

How to insist (and convince) on a course of action when you are not in a position of power

I help a young teenage boy learn English at a non-profit organization where I am a volunteer. The boy is considered at-risk youth as he's the child of immigrant parents and of low socioeconomic status....
-1
votes
1answer
549 views

How do I anticipate whether using the expression “of color” will be received favourably or not? [closed]

I am European, and I seem to understand that in North America it's particularly common to use the expression "Person of color" instead of, for example, "Black person". I understand that it's meant ...
5
votes
3answers
328 views

How do I schedule an event with multiple people?

A few examples I've struggled with is scheduling scrimmages with a VR League I play in; I have four people on my team's availabilities to manage in conjunction with 5 others on a different team each ...
0
votes
1answer
153 views

How to explain your future goals in an evaluation interview? [closed]

I've thought about this for a while but don't really know how to go about this. Our company just got merged with a bigger market player. However this opens up a whole lot of opportunities towards ...
2
votes
1answer
253 views

Reply to an email that does not necessarily need an answer [closed]

I live in an apartment building with about 150 small apartments, owned by various private landlords. For these apartment buildings, there is often a house management company that is responsible for ...
3
votes
5answers
2k views

How can I explain to my partner that my online interactions are important to me to reduce their frustration when I talk about them?

How can I explain, to my partner, that my online interactions, particularly here on Stack Exchange, are important and of value to me with the goal of them not feeling frustrated that I'm "wasting" my ...
10
votes
8answers
6k views

How can I get someone to stop paying for my meal?

I have a good friend and every time we go out for a drink or dinner, he always insists on paying. That sounds good to have someone pay for you but it's actually not. For a start, it's kind of ...
25
votes
9answers
13k views

How to refuse to shake hands without offending the other party?

TL;DR: I don't like to shake hands and I'm looking for suggestions about how to turn people down without seeming rude or stand-offish; or how to prevent a handshake gesture from being initiated at all....
16
votes
2answers
10k views

How do I ask someone to be my roommate?

I am going to complete my freshman year of college this spring and I have run into a small problem. My roommate (let's call him "Jim") seems to not like the college and in all probability is going to ...
21
votes
10answers
9k views

Best way to give coworker chance to share personal (religious) information with me that I already heard from someone else?

This is my first holiday season at my current company. I recently noticed that one of my team members, 'Alice', wasn't coming to any of the work sponsored events. When I asked a coworker, they ...