Questions tagged [politeness]

Questions where acting with consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy is important. Include other tags for cultural context! For questions regarding someone else being rude, use the "rudeness" tag instead.

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6
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2answers
1k views

How to sign off an e-mail after finding out a work contact is out of the office due to a family emergency?

Background I am liaising with a client about a project. My main contact works off-site a lot but is fairly responsive with e-mails. She e-mailed me with a status update of a pending task and when I ...
5
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4answers
14k views

Is it OK to stop saying hi to people that you have no interest in? [closed]

I got introduced to this person in my neighborhood by a friend, and for a couple of times I said hi to him out of politeness. He also does not have a very close relationship with my friend. I don't ...
5
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3answers
1k views

Politely telling someone a claim they shared on social media is false?

My question is similar to this except the person is usually not passionate about it. I have friends who post things about vaccines causing autism, how bell peppers have different genders, and other ...
5
votes
3answers
610 views

In the US, is it polite to ask someone's name whom I just met in the elevator at work? [closed]

I just met a person in the elevator at work, and he seemed friendly enough and seemed to strike up a friendly conversation with me. Is it okay if I ask what his name is in this short conversation so ...
5
votes
5answers
830 views

How do you get someone's honest opinion about your cooking?

The flip-side to this question about being asked one's opinion on food they didn't like; What things should you keep in mind if you have cooked or are cooking a meal for family or friends, and would ...
5
votes
2answers
928 views

Discussing going to a therapist and seeing my father

Background I'm a 22 year old male who had quite a rough past, however I will stick to what I think is important for the question. Currently I'm still a student. When I was 16 I stopped going to my ...
5
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2answers
1k views

How and when to best approach a stranger about a “wardrobe malfunction?” [duplicate]

So a “wardrobe malfunction” can basically mean someone’s fly being open or someone’s dress, skirt getting bunched up in a weird way in their underpants. If I am dealing with friends, acquaintances, ...
5
votes
2answers
871 views

How to politely repel negative suggestive comments about the work morale or atmosphere?

I am part of a group of software developers who work remotely in different parts of the world. Some of us work in the U.S. and some in 3 other countries. The colleagues that work outside of USA are ...
5
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3answers
1k views

My coworker invited me to go camping. I hate camping but instinctively agreed. How can I back out?

I'm an idiot and I've always had the "nice guy / pushover" mentality which I've been working on personally and have steadily gotten a lot better at overcoming. This one caught me by surprise and I ...
5
votes
1answer
450 views

How to politely tell someone to clean their nose? [duplicate]

Today at work one of me colleagues was talking to me but I had no concentration on what she was saying because there was something on her nose and I was thinking about "how am I supposed to tell her?" ...
5
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3answers
332 views

How do I schedule an event with multiple people?

A few examples I've struggled with is scheduling scrimmages with a VR League I play in; I have four people on my team's availabilities to manage in conjunction with 5 others on a different team each ...
5
votes
1answer
405 views

How to apologise/thank college for being flexible with accommodation?

I'm going into my 4th year of University. I lived in college-owned accommodation for the first 3 years. I balloted in January for a college-owned room for 4th year, but this summer (June) I signed a ...
5
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2answers
683 views

How to tell beginner pickleball player they shouldn't play?

Often a lower level pickleball player will come to a day set aside for advanced players. (Pickleball has 4 people on a court &usually played at community centers.) It seems if I am nice to them ...
5
votes
3answers
928 views

How do I tell someone I won't drive them anymore, when they have no car?

Background: To get a technical diploma I started to attend school last week again and will be there till may next year. I'm currently 22 yo and I'm generally a very agreeable person. The school is ...
5
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2answers
665 views

Politely recommend budget help to a friend who owes me money?

To address duplication concerns, this belongs on IPS rather than workplace stack exchange or finance, as I would like to address the specific issue of recommending budget help, and handle this as a ...
5
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3answers
421 views

How can I refuse to kiss my mother while minimizing the hurt feelings?

Note: this has nothing to do with the current pandemic. I don't like physical contact, especially kisses and especially when I don't fully trust the person touching me. Also, my current relationship ...
4
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3answers
876 views

How to express to my parents that I need more freedom

I'm a 14 year old boy living with both my parents. I'm often talking to my friends about something, rather it's about what they did yesterday and about what just happened. A lot of times it seems ...
4
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2answers
1k views

How can I tactfully point out that someone misunderstood me?

Yesterday at work I had the same misunderstanding with two different co-workers. I'm working on a website with both an English and Spanish version. I explained over Slack that I found the resource ...
4
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5answers
3k views

How to politely repel a flattering comment

Working in an average university, it's pretty common to get flattering comments from students (who more often than not pass it just to please the teacher), but recently I am facing a new problem of ...
4
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5answers
2k views

How can I explain to my partner that my online interactions are important to me to reduce their frustration when I talk about them?

How can I explain, to my partner, that my online interactions, particularly here on Stack Exchange, are important and of value to me with the goal of them not feeling frustrated that I'm "wasting" my ...
4
votes
1answer
564 views

How to identify and approach persons of low income with the aim to help [closed]

I apologize in advance if this seems distasteful in any way, I'm genuinely trying to be helpful. I live in a low income area in the UK, however I am fairly comfortable financially. It pains me ...
4
votes
2answers
527 views

How to ask if I can use a rewards/points card at a paid lunch?

I am meeting with a recruiter, and she is taking me to lunch (paid for by her company) at restaurant that is local to my company's location. She is unlikely to have a loyalty card at this place ...
4
votes
3answers
1k views

How to politely ask a coworker not to disturb me when I have headphones on

I do not like to be disturbed or constantly asked questions while I'm working intently. I use headphones to deal with that, and do not like to be disturbed while I have them on. How do I tell my ...
4
votes
2answers
2k views

How should I continue to have contact with this girl online?

Context All conversations I had with her are through text messages, games and on occasion through calls. We've known each other for 3 years, with a big pause in between of 1.5 years that ended last ...
4
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3answers
2k views

How can I tell someone that possibly unwanted body skin is showing?

So the title sums it up, but let me provide an example so it has a bit of context. I am living and working in California in an accounting office, so lax business casual is the usual attire. I am a ...
4
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3answers
493 views

How to say hello without asking “how are you going?”

I try to say what I mean, and mean what I say. Sometimes I just want to say "Hi" or "Hello" without asking the person how they are going. I like to ask how they are or how they are going only when I ...
4
votes
2answers
538 views

When sitting, how to non-verbally communicate that someone is invading your personal space?

I don't like it when people are physically too close to me. When standing, this isn't a problem since I can move a little and distance myself from the person being too close to me. However, when ...
4
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2answers
1k views

Is negotiating a price perceived as rude in the UK culture?

I am looking to buy used car components on eBay from the UK, I found a good deal, the seller put together a nice kit but I feel a 15% discount would better align the item to the market price. I might ...
4
votes
4answers
779 views

Figuring out interesting questions in friendly or romantic conversations

How can I figure out which questions are interesting and will be pleasant for the person to whom they are addressed to answer? I am a person who has an extreme problem conveying what he wants to ...
4
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2answers
684 views

How can I tell people that I’m not interested in donating to their charity? [duplicate]

Sometimes people will approach me in public places (such as a train station) and ask me to make a donation or to buy an item for charity. Usually they’re positioned at an entrance, exit or in such a ...
4
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3answers
2k views

How to handle two friends talking to me at the same time?

I am a 19 years old male living in Canada. Sometimes, when I'm having a discussion with friends, two of them will start telling me something at the same time, each of them ignoring the fact that the ...
4
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2answers
1k views

How to tell someone you don't remember an important event that happened?

Background While it is normal to forget events that happened in the past, there is an event I can't remember at all. This event happened 2 years ago when someone confessed(confession of love) to me. ...
4
votes
3answers
470 views

How to politely decline friends/colleagues trying to persuade me to join a Friday after-work event?

I’m part of a software development team and the people engagement team in our company. This week has been extremely exhausting with both of my development work and people engagement work being really ...
4
votes
1answer
129 views

What should one do when occasionally meeting an acquaintance of theirs with other people being with any of you, potentially unfamiliar with others? [closed]

If you stumble upon an acquaintance, then it is normal for you to have a short conversation, or perhaps even spontaneously plan to do something together right away. But if there are people with you ...
4
votes
2answers
474 views

How to politely tell someone the post they shared is wrong/dangerous/bad advice? [duplicate]

There are many posts on social media that are a load of rubbish and just plain factually incorrect. They often end in “if you don’t share a fairy will die” or some such nonsense having bad luck. I ...
4
votes
1answer
644 views

How to non-rudely exit or change the subject of a conversation where someone is wittering

Sometimes I find myself on the receiving end of what I call "wittering," or for lack of a better term verbal diarrhea. This is essentially where someone will start talking at length, often without ...
4
votes
1answer
532 views

Politely declining a request to use my railway card to get a ticket when the person has to stand in the queue

Background: I'm from India. In our railways, we have multiple ways of booking tickets, one of them being the regular way (stand in the queue) and the other, a card which lets you get your ticket ...
4
votes
2answers
869 views

My new landlord tends to stay up late and make a bit of noise, my sleep is suffering

This woman bought the duplex we rent a couple months ago. We live in the upper, she lives in the lower. She and her girlfriend seem to sleep in the room directly below mine and I can often hear them ...
4
votes
0answers
372 views

Should I try to react to behind-the-back insults in my partner's minority outreach program? [closed]

Relevant identity context, I'm white, my partner can be reasonably seen to a stranger as white, and both of us are genderqueer and LGBTQ+ identifying. I work at a college in Boston, and my partner (...
4
votes
3answers
295 views

Politeness vs. conciseness in writing emails [duplicate]

I often find myself starting sentences with phrases like "I just want to let you know that", "I would like to ask if", "I am writing to discuss", or "I was wondering if" in emails. I could simply just ...
3
votes
3answers
726 views

Politely requesting the office lights remain on?

I work in a small office, there's 6 of us in total, so it's not possible to turn off "some" of the lights without turning them all off. In the UK, we're now in the Spring season, which generally ...
3
votes
3answers
566 views

How to be Polite without giving wrong signals (because this happened before!)

Few years ago I was super friendly to people (in office setting), and got unwanted attention. So much so that not only I cut off that person (directly said "I am not interested"), but cut off everyone ...
3
votes
2answers
876 views

How to (politelly) tell a martial arts instructor that I am interested only in part of his curriculum?

I am increasingly under the impression that martial arts classes are really tough places when it comes to practicing Interpersonal Skills. I have failed miserably once and already more or less given ...
3
votes
2answers
2k views

How do you ask your father not to get angry when he sees a male teacher is teaching his child?

Dealing with a father that gets angry when a man teaches his child in additional courses I’m 18 years male. Currently, I am pursuing 12th( the final year of High school) year education and very close ...
3
votes
1answer
696 views

How and why to be politically correct? [closed]

Comming from the 2nd/3rd world and living in the 1st now, I often have the problem of speaking in a way counted often as politically incorrect. Political correctness intends to avoid offense or ...
3
votes
1answer
752 views

How can I cancel an appointment politely? [closed]

I have never gone to a dentist, maybe just one or twice in my entire life. I found a dentist who has his office next to my home and in my desperation for my dental hygiene, I made an appointment for ...
3
votes
2answers
495 views

How can I explain a phobia when travelling to a non-English speaking country?

I considered putting this question into the Travel stackexchange but this issue feels like it's more to do with interpersonal skills and communication than actually travelling. I'm happy for it to be ...
3
votes
3answers
991 views

How do I avoid meeting an acquaintance that comes to visit every few months?

An acquaintance visits my city for 1-2 weeks every few months because her boyfriend lives here and wants all of three of us to meet up together. I'm fine with her, but do not like her boyfriend, ...
3
votes
3answers
3k views

Reminding lecturer to reply to previous email I sent

I sent an email to my lecturer asking for clarification about something however it has been a few days and he has not replied. Sometimes he replies to emails sometimes he does not. I need a reply fast ...
3
votes
2answers
593 views

Tactfully telling someone that they are the reason for your anxiety

Last weekend, I was at my parent's home and my aunt, uncle and a family friend were also invited. I have some anxiety issue which means that, when there is too many people, or just people that I'm ...

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