Questions tagged [politeness]

A behaviour that is respectful and considerate of other people. To be used when consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy is on the line. For question regarding someone else being rude, use the "rudeness" tag.

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335 views

How to politely decline an invitation to a dinner from a colleague? [closed]

TL;DR: A colleague invited me and my wife to a dinner and we don't want to go. How to politely decline? More background: I have a colleague that sometime works on the same project as I do. When he ...
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0answers
250 views

Telling a friend I normally hangout with on a holiday, I don't want to this time [closed]

A national holiday is coming up :) I have a friend (call him Joe) I normally hangout with on this holiday. I also see him on a regular basis. This time I would like to hangout with a different group ...
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5answers
3k views

Is it polite to get the attention of a stranger by tapping them on the shoulder? [closed]

Imagine you are in a crowded place and a stranger is blocking your way. Is it rude to tap them on the shoulder to get their attention? Would it be different for men than women?
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2answers
507 views

How to cancel a nearing appointment with a friend that I forgot about?

About a month ago, a friend I haven't heard from in some years invited me for dinner. We decided on a date that worked for both of us but I forgot to add it to my personal calendar. I was not ...
2
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2answers
545 views

How to make sure to get non-alcoholic beer at a bar? [closed]

Sometimes I have to drive by car after going to a bar. Hence at these times I don't want to drink alcohol (even though driving after drinking a modest amount of alcohol is allowed where I live, I don'...
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3answers
618 views

Asking my coworker to get to the point without being rude

Background I have a coworker with whom I communicate online (slack). When this coworker has something to tell me, they always start by saying: Hello, how are you? Then they wait for me to answer (...
2
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1answer
543 views

How to politely reply to recruiter that (s)he being unprofessional

Nowadays software developers (at least in Europe) get a lot of job offers via LinkedIn. I'm always making sure I reply to recruiter in a timely fashion, thanking for getting in touch & explaining ...
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2answers
449 views

Etiquette about crossing a door when someone also wants to cross from the opposite side?

Let's take the following situation: I'm on the outside and want to go inside Someone is inside and want to go outside The door is open (one of us is holding it) There isn't enough room for both of ...
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3answers
605 views

How can I tell my wife to pay more attention to everything without sounding condescending or rude?

My wife doesn't pay attention to anything she's doing or what is happening around her. For example: she doesn't pay attention to holes, pits, and ledges when we're out and she's pushing our son's ...
2
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1answer
2k views

How do I politely let a professor know she has offended me? [closed]

I am very seriously religious, but never mention it to others because I notice it makes them uncomfortable. Plus, I don't want anyone to feel that I am telling them my beliefs are more right than ...
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1answer
538 views

How do I talk to my girlfriend about pitching in financially when we go out? [closed]

We have been together for 6 months. We are far away. We meet on the weekends. I have been to paying, but now I think it's time to share. We also talk about living together. How can I discuss this ...
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2answers
151 views

How to politely ask for a response?

I needed to discuss some matter with one person. The outcome of that is important for me. At the beginning of the week, I got an email where that person proposed several dates when we could have a ...
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1answer
257 views

Reply to an email that does not necessarily need an answer [closed]

I live in an apartment building with about 150 small apartments, owned by various private landlords. For these apartment buildings, there is often a house management company that is responsible for ...
2
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1answer
366 views

How to respond to a friend who wants to share her poetry? [closed]

I have a certain friend who appears to be enjoying writing, particularly poetry. Unfortunately, I do not appreciate the poetry she writes. Her poetry often reads like the inner voice of a person ...
2
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1answer
391 views

How to point out a loved one's posture at the computer?

I regularly notice a loved one's bad posture while they are using their computer. It's at the point where I am concerned about the long term health of their back and spine. What would be a good way ...
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2answers
618 views

Instuctor wants me to pay for additional lessons before sign off; but didn't complete all hours of the course

I'm taking some mandatory motorcycle lessons (required before you can legally ride on the road). I've paid around $600 for these to the school the runs the course. The course (whose structure, ...
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1answer
233 views

Forgot something doctor told me during consulation [closed]

I forgot something important that the doctor I saw for a consultation told me. Would it be rude of me to email his practice and ask him to tell me again what I have forgotten? I paid a lot of money ...
2
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1answer
302 views

How to ask people not to send me voicemails via text messaging apps

I find listening to voicemails on Facebook Messenger and WhatsApp very time consuming. In particular, the Facebook Messenger interface doesn't let me skip in the message if most of it is irrelevant to ...
2
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1answer
329 views

How do I request a different hairdresser?

When I get my hair cut I always go to the same chain location, because it's on my way home from work and convenient. I don't have a particular stylist, so I don't make an appointment and just walk in ...
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0answers
283 views

How can I take Stack Exchange answers less defensively and give answers less aggressively? [closed]

Stack Exchange sites have garnered a bit of a reputation for being harsh even though users genuinely want to help each other out. I've been told that I've been a bit hard giving answers. I've also ...
2
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1answer
532 views

How to politely avoid a hand-shake with somebody who is infected by a flu virus?

In our daily life people often meet and greet with different styles and traditions, but mostly we do it by shaking our hands and it is quite normal around the globe. But if a person who is infected ...
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0answers
140 views

Communication while setting up an informational interview via email [closed]

For an engineering class I'm taking, I've been interviewing experts in the field. The goal of these interviews is to: learn important information on our potential customers. find out more about the ...
2
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0answers
291 views

How to make sincere offers across cultural boundaries? [closed]

This often happens to me when I interact with Asian "face-saving" cultures, some South Americans that are really formal, and even some Americans who are really polite. The general case is, imagine I ...
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0answers
504 views

How to deal with someone who seemingly only asks you loaded/leading questions in casual situations? [closed]

The subject says it all: There is no one specific incident I can summarize, but in general I have had encounters with people who endlessly ask loaded/leading questions and statements that are simply ...
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1answer
263 views

How to do you politely tell somebody to stop interrupting a conversation? [closed]

Participants: person A was telling a story; person B (me) asked a follow-up question while person A was talking (telling the story); person C (a friend) aggressively told me to stop interrupting. ...
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3answers
819 views

How can I discuss beer without sounding like a snob?

I like beer. I like drinking it, discovering it, and I just recently started brewing it. Needless to say, one of my common topics of conversation is beer (of course there are plenty more, and beer is ...
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3answers
309 views

Is using profanity only around some people considered two faced? [closed]

From my perspective, profanity "is what it is", I don't use it frequently but I have no real issue with it. Though, I do understand that some people do have issue with profanity. Because of this, ...
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2answers
172 views

Use of “what” when asking for partial clarification of what was said

I had it ingrained in me to avoid saying "what?" when I didn't hear what someone said, and instead ask "pardon?" to avoid sounding rude. What if I only need partial clarification of what was said ...
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1answer
685 views

How can my wife have her cake if I won't eat it too? [closed]

My wife's birthday is coming up next week, and I'm looking to get her a cake - she rarely ever has gotten her very own birthday cake, and I want to get her something she will really appreciate. She ...
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5answers
1k views

How to refuse a job offer that I already accepted?

I was offered to collaborate as freelancer in the company I used to work (I quitted and I'm working in a different place right now). I was talking with the company owner, who told me that in case I ...
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2answers
676 views

How can I politely make an offer on a used vehicle?

This is the first time I buy a vehicle on my own, so I have no experience in this matter. Today I will be meeting someone who is selling their motorbike. I think he is asking too much for it so I want ...
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2answers
311 views

Is there a polite/tactful way to ask someone to leave your house after they come round for dinner? [duplicate]

I sometimes have friends over for dinner. I am an introvert & after they've been here for about 2-3 hours I wish for them to leave so I can relax a little before bed alone. Is there a polite way I ...
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2answers
471 views

How to politely ask if they would be paying for the project [closed]

Hello I am a junior student of Computer Science Major in Software Engineering, there were persons from other colleges who wants us to collaborate with them to make an application for their thesis. The ...
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1answer
502 views

How to apologise for not recognising someone [closed]

Recently I was at an academic conference where I met a famous academic in my area during the banquet dinner. However, for some reason I haven't recognised the name and the physical figure of the ...
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1answer
397 views

Disproving false beliefs of an acquaintance which may be dangerous or affect our relationships [duplicate]

There is a similar question here: How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset? My question has a different setting: I'm ...
1
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1answer
290 views

Follow up to informational interview [closed]

For an engineering class I'm taking, I've been interviewing experts in the field. The goal of these interview is to learn important information on our potential customers, find out more about the ...
1
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1answer
619 views

Someone else using my cooler without my permission

This might be very intuitive for someone to suggest me to ask him to put it back. But please hold on. I live in a hostel and changed room to the next room which had a cooler already (owned by my new ...
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1answer
563 views

How can I stop restaurant cashiers from putting their hands on the rim of my cup?

Whenever I go out to eat at a fast food restaurant or cafeteria, I order a drink. The drink comes in a paper cup, which is located behind the counter. The cashier hands me the paper cup, holding it by ...
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2answers
5k views

When is it rude to speak a language that other people around do not understand? [closed]

When is it rude to speak a language that at least one person who can hear cannot understand? My family and friends generally are of the opinion this is rude behavior but I noticed with some new ...
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0answers
83 views

How to avoid telling people about my job? [duplicate]

New people who I meet always ask what I do for work. This question is normal and polite to ask, but I don't always want to tell people what I do for the following reasons: My job is unusual, which ...
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0answers
236 views

When is it ok to put pictures of other people on social media? [closed]

If you're in a photo with someone, when is it ok to put it on Facebook? Should you always ask first? I asked my friend to send me pictures he took of us. Instead of posting them publicly he messaged ...
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5answers
545 views

Should I reply to the email or just leave it? [closed]

I am currently an intern in a company in Singapore. My supervisor's colleague gave me a small task and asked me to collate some details about others interns. I did it and sent him an email. He replied ...
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3answers
682 views

How can I find out how many photos I should take If I'm given a film camera to take a picture?

On occasion, when I go to tourist hotspots, people sometimes give me their cameras and ask me to take pictures of them. Most of the time, those are digital camera (e.g. smartphones), and it makes ...
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3answers
497 views

How to ask from somebody I can't remember, where did we meet?

He is working in the same office building but by a different company. He welcomed me sometimes already, and it was clear he remembers me from somewhere. Also, I remember his face, however, I can't ...
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2answers
334 views

How to notifiy cleaning personnel that they've “missed a spot” [closed]

I think it's ill-mannered to tell someone that is cleaning for you to do a better job. However, how can I tell them that they probably missed a spot, without offending them? For example, when they ...
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1answer
451 views

How do I respond to my doctor's message in which she mentions she's doing voluntary work? [closed]

I WhatsApp'd my British doctor to ask for an appointment, and she responded along the lines of Thank you for your message. I'm really happy to see you but I'm doing voluntary work in [country]. I'...
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1answer
636 views

My new neighbours have very nicely requested something that I find unreasonable, how should I proceed? [closed]

Background: We recently moved to a new neighborhood and it's rather dark at night (not many street lights). Most neighbors leave outside house lights on at night. Issue: About a month after we ...
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1answer
419 views

How to politely ask for verification delay?

I've worked in a market. Suddenly they stopped my work for verification purpose. They requested me to provide a student ID card. I've sent a scanned copy of my Student ID card for verification. One ...
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4answers
601 views

How to tell someone I won't do their work

I'm in a situation I don't really know how to handle. I'm a student at university and one of my class mates decided to study way too many things at the same time so she doesn't show up to many of ...
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1answer
154 views

How to explain your future goals in an evaluation interview? [closed]

I've thought about this for a while but don't really know how to go about this. Our company just got merged with a bigger market player. However this opens up a whole lot of opportunities towards ...