Questions tagged [politeness]

Questions where acting with consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy is important. Include other tags for cultural context! For questions regarding someone else being rude, use the "rudeness" tag instead.

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4
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0answers
382 views

Should I try to react to behind-the-back insults in my partner's minority outreach program? [closed]

Relevant identity context, I'm white, my partner can be reasonably seen to a stranger as white, and both of us are genderqueer and LGBTQ+ identifying. I work at a college in Boston, and my partner (...
4
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3answers
298 views

Politeness vs. conciseness in writing emails [duplicate]

I often find myself starting sentences with phrases like "I just want to let you know that", "I would like to ask if", "I am writing to discuss", or "I was wondering if" in emails. I could simply just ...
4
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1answer
573 views

How do I chase a teacher who hasn't replied to my messages despite reading them?

I'm studying a course remotely, and sent my teacher a message on Teams about 10 days ago now, asking a question. No response, but I can see the read receipt. Hoping to prompt a reply, I asked another ...
3
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3answers
760 views

Politely requesting the office lights remain on?

I work in a small office, there's 6 of us in total, so it's not possible to turn off "some" of the lights without turning them all off. In the UK, we're now in the Spring season, which generally ...
3
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2answers
879 views

How to appear less insensitive when texting with women I would like to date?

I am a male student who has been an introvert almost my entire life, and not having many female friends. Currently, I’m in college and due to the nature of my course, I did not have the chance to meet ...
3
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2answers
919 views

How to (politelly) tell a martial arts instructor that I am interested only in part of his curriculum?

I am increasingly under the impression that martial arts classes are really tough places when it comes to practicing Interpersonal Skills. I have failed miserably once and already more or less given ...
3
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2answers
2k views

How do you ask your father not to get angry when he sees a male teacher is teaching his child?

Dealing with a father that gets angry when a man teaches his child in additional courses I’m 18 years male. Currently, I am pursuing 12th( the final year of High school) year education and very close ...
3
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1answer
722 views

How and why to be politically correct? [closed]

Comming from the 2nd/3rd world and living in the 1st now, I often have the problem of speaking in a way counted often as politically incorrect. Political correctness intends to avoid offense or ...
3
votes
1answer
557 views

How to politely reply to recruiter that (s)he being unprofessional

Nowadays software developers (at least in Europe) get a lot of job offers via LinkedIn. I'm always making sure I reply to recruiter in a timely fashion, thanking for getting in touch & explaining ...
3
votes
1answer
805 views

How can I cancel an appointment politely? [closed]

I have never gone to a dentist, maybe just one or twice in my entire life. I found a dentist who has his office next to my home and in my desperation for my dental hygiene, I made an appointment for ...
3
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3answers
1k views

How do I avoid meeting an acquaintance that comes to visit every few months?

An acquaintance visits my city for 1-2 weeks every few months because her boyfriend lives here and wants all of three of us to meet up together. I'm fine with her, but do not like her boyfriend, ...
3
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3answers
6k views

Reminding lecturer to reply to previous email I sent

I sent an email to my lecturer asking for clarification about something however it has been a few days and he has not replied. Sometimes he replies to emails sometimes he does not. I need a reply fast ...
3
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1answer
450 views

How to politely let someone know that their feedback is unhelpful?

I am on a forum where I frequently post creative projects in progress before publishing them. I ask for constructive critique / feedback / opinions on these projects from fellow creators. Sometimes ...
3
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2answers
621 views

Tactfully telling someone that they are the reason for your anxiety

Last weekend, I was at my parent's home and my aunt, uncle and a family friend were also invited. I have some anxiety issue which means that, when there is too many people, or just people that I'm not ...
3
votes
1answer
454 views

What is a polite way to apologize when sneezing frequently at the office? [closed]

I have allergies and I sneeze a lot (at least twice a day and could be even 20 times a day) Does etiquette demand that I say "excuse me/sorry" after every time I sneeze, given the fact that it ...
3
votes
1answer
188 views

Etiquette of sending a “thank you” message to the host after attending a house party? [closed]

I was recently invited to my friend's house for lunch on a Sunday. We spent the afternoon together as well. I wonder if in western culture it is necessary to call up the next day and say something ...
3
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1answer
386 views

Asking an update from a friend who agreed to help me but who didn't respond me last time

I have a friend who agreed to help me on something half a year ago. Around the winter holidays, last time we chatted, I told him I was ready to implement my plan but he told me that he was upset that ...
3
votes
1answer
398 views

How to point out a loved one's posture at the computer?

I regularly notice a loved one's bad posture while they are using their computer. It's at the point where I am concerned about the long term health of their back and spine. What would be a good way ...
3
votes
2answers
413 views

How to respond to someone strongly resisting a specific app for group communication? [closed]

I'm in a college video game design course with a strong emphasis on group work. I'm highly invested in the outcome (I'd like to use the final game for a portfolio, if possible) so I decided to create ...
3
votes
1answer
1k views

How do I politely decline a lunch invitation from a friend's family?

I frequently go over to my friend's house on the weekends to work on projects. We usually meet up in the morning then work until lunch before we go our separate ways. My friend still lives with his ...
3
votes
1answer
450 views

Is it ok to video a TV reporter without their consent?

I am on vacation in city X, and it starts raining heavily. I stop at a petrol kiosk, and a TV reporter is on camera reporting the extremely heavy rain. I want to record the TV reporter and send the ...
3
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0answers
254 views

Telling a friend I normally hangout with on a holiday, I don't want to this time [closed]

A national holiday is coming up :) I have a friend (call him Joe) I normally hangout with on this holiday. I also see him on a regular basis. This time I would like to hangout with a different group ...
3
votes
1answer
566 views

How to politely avoid a hand-shake with somebody who is infected by a flu virus?

In our daily life people often meet and greet with different styles and traditions, but mostly we do it by shaking our hands and it is quite normal around the globe. But if a person who is infected ...
2
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5answers
4k views

Is it polite to get the attention of a stranger by tapping them on the shoulder? [closed]

Imagine you are in a crowded place and a stranger is blocking your way. Is it rude to tap them on the shoulder to get their attention? Would it be different for men than women?
2
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2answers
536 views

How to cancel a nearing appointment with a friend that I forgot about?

About a month ago, a friend I haven't heard from in some years invited me for dinner. We decided on a date that worked for both of us but I forgot to add it to my personal calendar. I was not ...
2
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2answers
572 views

How to make sure to get non-alcoholic beer at a bar? [closed]

Sometimes I have to drive by car after going to a bar. Hence at these times I don't want to drink alcohol (even though driving after drinking a modest amount of alcohol is allowed where I live, I don'...
2
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3answers
648 views

Asking my coworker to get to the point without being rude

Background I have a coworker with whom I communicate online (slack). When this coworker has something to tell me, they always start by saying: Hello, how are you? Then they wait for me to answer (&...
2
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5answers
1k views

How to refuse a job offer that I already accepted?

I was offered to collaborate as freelancer in the company I used to work (I quitted and I'm working in a different place right now). I was talking with the company owner, who told me that in case I ...
2
votes
2answers
509 views

Etiquette about crossing a door when someone also wants to cross from the opposite side?

Let's take the following situation: I'm on the outside and want to go inside Someone is inside and want to go outside The door is open (one of us is holding it) There isn't enough room for both of ...
2
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1answer
597 views

How to save face and apologize after a text was taken the wrong way?

Okay, so our coaching has a discussion forum for all members to post questions related to our studies. The group is on Telegram, where I'm registered with a gender-neutral username and a profile pic ...
2
votes
3answers
643 views

How can I tell my wife to pay more attention to everything without sounding condescending or rude?

My wife doesn't pay attention to anything she's doing or what is happening around her. For example: she doesn't pay attention to holes, pits, and ledges when we're out and she's pushing our son's ...
2
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1answer
2k views

How do I politely let a professor know she has offended me? [closed]

I am very seriously religious, but never mention it to others because I notice it makes them uncomfortable. Plus, I don't want anyone to feel that I am telling them my beliefs are more right than ...
2
votes
1answer
545 views

How do I talk to my girlfriend about pitching in financially when we go out? [closed]

We have been together for 6 months. We are far away. We meet on the weekends. I have been to paying, but now I think it's time to share. We also talk about living together. How can I discuss this ...
2
votes
2answers
168 views

How to politely ask for a response?

I needed to discuss some matter with one person. The outcome of that is important for me. At the beginning of the week, I got an email where that person proposed several dates when we could have a ...
2
votes
1answer
273 views

Reply to an email that does not necessarily need an answer [closed]

I live in an apartment building with about 150 small apartments, owned by various private landlords. For these apartment buildings, there is often a house management company that is responsible for ...
2
votes
1answer
724 views

How to tell our mutual friend that we wouldn't like to spend one of our days with her on our four day trip

Background I am in a relationship with this girl who came to do her master's degree to my university for one year. We met in the Russian society and hence have mutual acquaintances from there. Since ...
2
votes
1answer
457 views

How to avoid blaming a single person for issues submitting a group assignment?

I have a group assignment that is due soon. We are only allowed one submission per group (and further submissions, even before the deadline, will be penalized). This group assignment is worth a ...
2
votes
1answer
421 views

How to respond to a friend who wants to share her poetry? [closed]

I have a certain friend who appears to be enjoying writing, particularly poetry. Unfortunately, I do not appreciate the poetry she writes. Her poetry often reads like the inner voice of a person ...
2
votes
2answers
625 views

Instuctor wants me to pay for additional lessons before sign off; but didn't complete all hours of the course

I'm taking some mandatory motorcycle lessons (required before you can legally ride on the road). I've paid around $600 for these to the school the runs the course. The course (whose structure, ...
2
votes
1answer
235 views

Forgot something doctor told me during consulation [closed]

I forgot something important that the doctor I saw for a consultation told me. Would it be rude of me to email his practice and ask him to tell me again what I have forgotten? I paid a lot of money ...
2
votes
1answer
324 views

How to ask people not to send me voicemails via text messaging apps

I find listening to voicemails on Facebook Messenger and WhatsApp very time consuming. In particular, the Facebook Messenger interface doesn't let me skip in the message if most of it is irrelevant to ...
2
votes
1answer
385 views

Boss tells me to face him when talking [closed]

So I was talking to my boss in the hallway today. During part of the conversation I turned to face somewhere to the left side of him for ~ 20 seconds, I think I got restless/bored from standing still....
2
votes
1answer
349 views

How do I request a different hairdresser?

When I get my hair cut I always go to the same chain location, because it's on my way home from work and convenient. I don't have a particular stylist, so I don't make an appointment and just walk in ...
2
votes
0answers
146 views

Communication while setting up an informational interview via email [closed]

For an engineering class I'm taking, I've been interviewing experts in the field. The goal of these interviews is to: learn important information on our potential customers. find out more about the ...
2
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0answers
296 views

How to make sincere offers across cultural boundaries? [closed]

This often happens to me when I interact with Asian "face-saving" cultures, some South Americans that are really formal, and even some Americans who are really polite. The general case is, imagine I ...
2
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0answers
601 views

How to deal with someone who seemingly only asks you loaded/leading questions in casual situations? [closed]

The subject says it all: There is no one specific incident I can summarize, but in general I have had encounters with people who endlessly ask loaded/leading questions and statements that are simply ...
2
votes
1answer
285 views

How to do you politely tell somebody to stop interrupting a conversation? [closed]

Participants: person A was telling a story; person B (me) asked a follow-up question while person A was talking (telling the story); person C (a friend) aggressively told me to stop interrupting. ...
1
vote
3answers
849 views

How can I discuss beer without sounding like a snob?

I like beer. I like drinking it, discovering it, and I just recently started brewing it. Needless to say, one of my common topics of conversation is beer (of course there are plenty more, and beer is ...
1
vote
3answers
318 views

Is using profanity only around some people considered two faced? [closed]

From my perspective, profanity "is what it is", I don't use it frequently but I have no real issue with it. Though, I do understand that some people do have issue with profanity. Because of this, ...
1
vote
2answers
175 views

Use of “what” when asking for partial clarification of what was said

I had it ingrained in me to avoid saying "what?" when I didn't hear what someone said, and instead ask "pardon?" to avoid sounding rude. What if I only need partial clarification of what was said ...

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