Questions tagged [politeness]

Questions where acting with consideration, tact, deference, or courtesy is important. Include other tags for cultural context! For questions regarding someone else being rude, use the "rudeness" tag instead.

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3
votes
2answers
602 views

Tactfully telling someone that they are the reason for your anxiety

Last weekend, I was at my parent's home and my aunt, uncle and a family friend were also invited. I have some anxiety issue which means that, when there is too many people, or just people that I'm not ...
3
votes
1answer
406 views

What is a polite way to apologize when sneezing frequently at the office? [closed]

I have allergies and I sneeze a lot (at least twice a day and could be even 20 times a day) Does etiquette demand that I say "excuse me/sorry" after every time I sneeze, given the fact that it ...
3
votes
1answer
186 views

Etiquette of sending a “thank you” message to the host after attending a house party? [closed]

I was recently invited to my friend's house for lunch on a Sunday. We spent the afternoon together as well. I wonder if in western culture it is necessary to call up the next day and say something ...
3
votes
1answer
381 views

Asking an update from a friend who agreed to help me but who didn't respond me last time

I have a friend who agreed to help me on something half a year ago. Around the winter holidays, last time we chatted, I told him I was ready to implement my plan but he told me that he was upset that ...
3
votes
2answers
409 views

How to respond to someone strongly resisting a specific app for group communication? [closed]

I'm in a college video game design course with a strong emphasis on group work. I'm highly invested in the outcome (I'd like to use the final game for a portfolio, if possible) so I decided to create ...
3
votes
1answer
1k views

How do I politely decline a lunch invitation from a friend's family?

I frequently go over to my friend's house on the weekends to work on projects. We usually meet up in the morning then work until lunch before we go our separate ways. My friend still lives with his ...
3
votes
1answer
446 views

Is it ok to video a TV reporter without their consent?

I am on vacation in city X, and it starts raining heavily. I stop at a petrol kiosk, and a TV reporter is on camera reporting the extremely heavy rain. I want to record the TV reporter and send the ...
3
votes
0answers
345 views

How to politely decline an invitation to a dinner from a colleague? [closed]

TL;DR: A colleague invited me and my wife to a dinner and we don't want to go. How to politely decline? More background: I have a colleague that sometime works on the same project as I do. When he ...
3
votes
0answers
252 views

Telling a friend I normally hangout with on a holiday, I don't want to this time [closed]

A national holiday is coming up :) I have a friend (call him Joe) I normally hangout with on this holiday. I also see him on a regular basis. This time I would like to hangout with a different group ...
3
votes
1answer
589 views

How to ask potential wedding photographer about low number of reviews

My fiance and I are looking at wedding photographers. She found one she says is perfect (matches our budget and preferred style). We talked with him over the phone yesterday and he seemed like a great ...
2
votes
5answers
4k views

Is it polite to get the attention of a stranger by tapping them on the shoulder? [closed]

Imagine you are in a crowded place and a stranger is blocking your way. Is it rude to tap them on the shoulder to get their attention? Would it be different for men than women?
2
votes
2answers
513 views

How to cancel a nearing appointment with a friend that I forgot about?

About a month ago, a friend I haven't heard from in some years invited me for dinner. We decided on a date that worked for both of us but I forgot to add it to my personal calendar. I was not ...
2
votes
2answers
560 views

How to make sure to get non-alcoholic beer at a bar? [closed]

Sometimes I have to drive by car after going to a bar. Hence at these times I don't want to drink alcohol (even though driving after drinking a modest amount of alcohol is allowed where I live, I don'...
2
votes
3answers
627 views

Asking my coworker to get to the point without being rude

Background I have a coworker with whom I communicate online (slack). When this coworker has something to tell me, they always start by saying: Hello, how are you? Then they wait for me to answer (&...
2
votes
1answer
545 views

How to politely reply to recruiter that (s)he being unprofessional

Nowadays software developers (at least in Europe) get a lot of job offers via LinkedIn. I'm always making sure I reply to recruiter in a timely fashion, thanking for getting in touch & explaining ...
2
votes
2answers
483 views

Etiquette about crossing a door when someone also wants to cross from the opposite side?

Let's take the following situation: I'm on the outside and want to go inside Someone is inside and want to go outside The door is open (one of us is holding it) There isn't enough room for both of ...
2
votes
3answers
628 views

How can I tell my wife to pay more attention to everything without sounding condescending or rude?

My wife doesn't pay attention to anything she's doing or what is happening around her. For example: she doesn't pay attention to holes, pits, and ledges when we're out and she's pushing our son's ...
2
votes
1answer
2k views

How do I politely let a professor know she has offended me? [closed]

I am very seriously religious, but never mention it to others because I notice it makes them uncomfortable. Plus, I don't want anyone to feel that I am telling them my beliefs are more right than ...
2
votes
1answer
544 views

How do I talk to my girlfriend about pitching in financially when we go out? [closed]

We have been together for 6 months. We are far away. We meet on the weekends. I have been to paying, but now I think it's time to share. We also talk about living together. How can I discuss this ...
2
votes
2answers
156 views

How to politely ask for a response?

I needed to discuss some matter with one person. The outcome of that is important for me. At the beginning of the week, I got an email where that person proposed several dates when we could have a ...
2
votes
1answer
270 views

Reply to an email that does not necessarily need an answer [closed]

I live in an apartment building with about 150 small apartments, owned by various private landlords. For these apartment buildings, there is often a house management company that is responsible for ...
2
votes
1answer
686 views

How to tell our mutual friend that we wouldn't like to spend one of our days with her on our four day trip

Background I am in a relationship with this girl who came to do her master's degree to my university for one year. We met in the Russian society and hence have mutual acquaintances from there. Since ...
2
votes
1answer
435 views

How to avoid blaming a single person for issues submitting a group assignment?

I have a group assignment that is due soon. We are only allowed one submission per group (and further submissions, even before the deadline, will be penalized). This group assignment is worth a ...
2
votes
1answer
406 views

How to respond to a friend who wants to share her poetry? [closed]

I have a certain friend who appears to be enjoying writing, particularly poetry. Unfortunately, I do not appreciate the poetry she writes. Her poetry often reads like the inner voice of a person ...
2
votes
1answer
395 views

How to point out a loved one's posture at the computer?

I regularly notice a loved one's bad posture while they are using their computer. It's at the point where I am concerned about the long term health of their back and spine. What would be a good way ...
2
votes
2answers
620 views

Instuctor wants me to pay for additional lessons before sign off; but didn't complete all hours of the course

I'm taking some mandatory motorcycle lessons (required before you can legally ride on the road). I've paid around $600 for these to the school the runs the course. The course (whose structure, ...
2
votes
1answer
234 views

Forgot something doctor told me during consulation [closed]

I forgot something important that the doctor I saw for a consultation told me. Would it be rude of me to email his practice and ask him to tell me again what I have forgotten? I paid a lot of money ...
2
votes
1answer
313 views

How to ask people not to send me voicemails via text messaging apps

I find listening to voicemails on Facebook Messenger and WhatsApp very time consuming. In particular, the Facebook Messenger interface doesn't let me skip in the message if most of it is irrelevant to ...
2
votes
1answer
338 views

How do I request a different hairdresser?

When I get my hair cut I always go to the same chain location, because it's on my way home from work and convenient. I don't have a particular stylist, so I don't make an appointment and just walk in ...
2
votes
1answer
559 views

How to politely avoid a hand-shake with somebody who is infected by a flu virus?

In our daily life people often meet and greet with different styles and traditions, but mostly we do it by shaking our hands and it is quite normal around the globe. But if a person who is infected ...
2
votes
0answers
145 views

Communication while setting up an informational interview via email [closed]

For an engineering class I'm taking, I've been interviewing experts in the field. The goal of these interviews is to: learn important information on our potential customers. find out more about the ...
2
votes
0answers
294 views

How to make sincere offers across cultural boundaries? [closed]

This often happens to me when I interact with Asian "face-saving" cultures, some South Americans that are really formal, and even some Americans who are really polite. The general case is, imagine I ...
2
votes
0answers
543 views

How to deal with someone who seemingly only asks you loaded/leading questions in casual situations? [closed]

The subject says it all: There is no one specific incident I can summarize, but in general I have had encounters with people who endlessly ask loaded/leading questions and statements that are simply ...
2
votes
1answer
280 views

How to do you politely tell somebody to stop interrupting a conversation? [closed]

Participants: person A was telling a story; person B (me) asked a follow-up question while person A was talking (telling the story); person C (a friend) aggressively told me to stop interrupting. ...
1
vote
3answers
836 views

How can I discuss beer without sounding like a snob?

I like beer. I like drinking it, discovering it, and I just recently started brewing it. Needless to say, one of my common topics of conversation is beer (of course there are plenty more, and beer is ...
1
vote
2answers
723 views

How to appear less insensitive when texting with women I would like to date?

I am a male student who has been an introvert almost my entire life, and not having many female friends. Currently, I’m in college and due to the nature of my course, I did not have the chance to meet ...
1
vote
3answers
311 views

Is using profanity only around some people considered two faced? [closed]

From my perspective, profanity "is what it is", I don't use it frequently but I have no real issue with it. Though, I do understand that some people do have issue with profanity. Because of this, ...
1
vote
2answers
172 views

Use of “what” when asking for partial clarification of what was said

I had it ingrained in me to avoid saying "what?" when I didn't hear what someone said, and instead ask "pardon?" to avoid sounding rude. What if I only need partial clarification of what was said ...
1
vote
1answer
687 views

How can my wife have her cake if I won't eat it too? [closed]

My wife's birthday is coming up next week, and I'm looking to get her a cake - she rarely ever has gotten her very own birthday cake, and I want to get her something she will really appreciate. She ...
1
vote
5answers
1k views

How to refuse a job offer that I already accepted?

I was offered to collaborate as freelancer in the company I used to work (I quitted and I'm working in a different place right now). I was talking with the company owner, who told me that in case I ...
1
vote
2answers
840 views

How can I politely make an offer on a used vehicle?

This is the first time I buy a vehicle on my own, so I have no experience in this matter. Today I will be meeting someone who is selling their motorbike. I think he is asking too much for it so I want ...
1
vote
2answers
316 views

Is there a polite/tactful way to ask someone to leave your house after they come round for dinner? [duplicate]

I sometimes have friends over for dinner. I am an introvert & after they've been here for about 2-3 hours I wish for them to leave so I can relax a little before bed alone. Is there a polite way I ...
1
vote
2answers
606 views

How to politely ask if they would be paying for the project [closed]

Hello I am a junior student of Computer Science Major in Software Engineering, there were persons from other colleges who wants us to collaborate with them to make an application for their thesis. The ...
1
vote
1answer
214 views

How to communicate with employees when requesting documents to minimize response time?

I often face the following scenario: I need to ask for a document, a piece of information or make a request to an employer of a company/organization whose job includes responding to people like me. ...
1
vote
1answer
409 views

Disproving false beliefs of an acquaintance which may be dangerous or affect our relationships [duplicate]

There is a similar question here: How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset? My question has a different setting: I'm ...
1
vote
1answer
637 views

How to apologise for not recognising someone [closed]

Recently I was at an academic conference where I met a famous academic in my area during the banquet dinner. However, for some reason I haven't recognised the name and the physical figure of the ...
1
vote
1answer
290 views

Follow up to informational interview [closed]

For an engineering class I'm taking, I've been interviewing experts in the field. The goal of these interview is to learn important information on our potential customers, find out more about the ...
1
vote
1answer
640 views

Someone else using my cooler without my permission

This might be very intuitive for someone to suggest me to ask him to put it back. But please hold on. I live in a hostel and changed room to the next room which had a cooler already (owned by my new ...
1
vote
1answer
574 views

How can I stop restaurant cashiers from putting their hands on the rim of my cup?

Whenever I go out to eat at a fast food restaurant or cafeteria, I order a drink. The drink comes in a paper cup, which is located behind the counter. The cashier hands me the paper cup, holding it by ...
1
vote
2answers
8k views

When is it rude to speak a language that other people around do not understand? [closed]

When is it rude to speak a language that at least one person who can hear cannot understand? My family and friends generally are of the opinion this is rude behavior but I noticed with some new ...

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