Questions tagged [public-issues]

For issues that usually occur in public, in public locations or in the public eye. This can include in cafes, shops, or public transport.

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6 votes
2 answers
1k views

How do I convince my neighbors to not bring dogs in public space without a significant negative effect?

We recently moved into a new community. There is a small community park just outside our homes and a larger park with rides, swings and slides a few hundred feet away. This community doesn't allow any ...
43 votes
10 answers
7k views

Appropriate ways to dismiss street vendors?

In the Netherlands, it seems to be quite common lately to hire some students, put them on a busy main street or outside a supermarket, and have them target every passerby by asking 'Can I ask you ...
4 votes
5 answers
4k views

How to politely repel a flattering comment

Working in an average university, it's pretty common to get flattering comments from students (who more often than not pass it just to please the teacher), but recently I am facing a new problem of ...
48 votes
7 answers
6k views

Using reserved "disabled parking" with a disability people cannot see

I have a disability that cannot be seen (diffuse scleroderma and a recalcitrant and relapsing polymyositis). I seem to walk around ok, but my muscles are wasted and continue to rebuild and waste, ...
66 votes
9 answers
16k views

How to deal with a dangerous, developmentally disabled person I can not avoid?

On my way to work, I cannot help but encountering a developmentally disabled person who harasses me and other women. How can I deal with him? Background I have been taking the same train to work ...
25 votes
5 answers
8k views

How to deal with a person that does something wrong like littering or hitting a dog and yells at you when you tell them that they did something wrong?

In my life I come across people that do things that are wrong (and most of the times illegal) like littering, hitting animals, parking on the pavement without leaving an inch for pedestrians to pass. ...
11 votes
2 answers
2k views

How to respond to complaints from strangers about my loud toddler?

Yesterday we did grocery shopping in our local supermarket, as every week. Normally, my dad would babysit my son (2.5 years) for this time, but it was not possible, so the child joined us. My son was ...
7 votes
1 answer
708 views

Confront supposed harassment/abuse on a bus stop

Scenario: You walk by a bus station and notice a, supposedly, couple that behaves suspicious. The woman seems to be afraid of the man (stares to the ground, submissive posture, he holds her arm ...
21 votes
5 answers
5k views

When playing darts, how can I separate real players from random drunks?

I know my dart playing habits are a little odd... I usually hit my local bar alone, on an off night, grab a pint and head straight back to the dartboard in the back corner where I'm least likely to be ...
1 vote
1 answer
914 views

How to handle seemingly friendly questions from stranger in social situation that ask you where you work etc?

Background : you are at a bar or some similar social place, where people gather and meet, and someone has struck up a friendly conversation with you, talking about the game playing on TV, etc, and ...
33 votes
6 answers
10k views

How to politely ask people to pick up the litter they threw, especially if they don't own up

I live in India. As far as I know, littering is not much of a problem in other countries, but India has always been a place where even the adults teach their children: "Beta, yahin pe phek do, sabhi ...
23 votes
8 answers
19k views

How do I politely tell a stranger to stop making annoying noises I can't name?

Background I've encountered this problem several times and under different circumstances. It really annoys me when people constantly make noises with their mouth. Now, I can't name them and they come ...
10 votes
1 answer
1k views

How to tell an employee that someone in their shop is not wearing a mask?

(Without looking condescending or like I'm telling them how to do their job) The other day, I was at a shop and someone was not wearing their mask (it was hanging on one of their ears, so they clearly ...
14 votes
3 answers
2k views

Acknowledge someone's presence without encouraging conversation

I have had a friend during my college days. Unfortunately, it was only one directional and she never reciprocated my friendship appropriately. She used me for monetary purpose and mistreated me ...
7 votes
3 answers
651 views

How to request people to help me speak a language without imposing it on them?

I'm an Indian student who recently moved to the Netherlands to study. I'm intending on it becoming my permanent home at some point. While I was in India (and when I briefly moved to the US with my dad)...
3 votes
2 answers
534 views

How do I politely tell people in public I won't give out my e-mail? [closed]

I noticed recently when I'm checking out at the store, the cashier will ask for my email address, so that the store can send me flyers, coupons, and promotions. In other words, junk. What I've tried:...
10 votes
2 answers
4k views

How to handle someone making a scene in public?

So I've run into this now and then when there might be a disagreement with girlfriend or ex political issues with some friends The other person flares up in a public or just crowded place and ...
53 votes
7 answers
20k views

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

I live in a big city (in Paris, France) and take public transportation every day. I'm perceived as a woman and I will sometimes have to sit near people who spread out and take up more space than just ...
39 votes
6 answers
17k views

What is Soda Fountain Etiquette?

The other day I was walking with my cup to the Soda Fountain1 at a restaurant. Someone was already using the fountain, but the drink they were getting was on the far right side, while what I wanted ...
11 votes
2 answers
3k views

How can I ask someone in a quiet library to stop clearing their throat?

I have ADHD and as such have terrible difficulty maintaining my concentration, especially when working on homework. Because of this, I often like to work on the "quiet floor" of my university's ...
-1 votes
2 answers
346 views

Is it OK to delete old tweets about events that are no longer relevant? [closed]

Here's some context: the twitter account is owned by an organisation they post content infrequently some of the tweets are referencing an old event that is no longer relevant; people who go on the ...
11 votes
1 answer
853 views

How can I end interactions with a stranger after a conversation has turned bad?

The situation Last night I went to a bar after work to meet a friend to have a beer and catch up. There was a man "James" sitting next to us at the bar who had clearly taken an interest in our ...
6 votes
3 answers
1k views

The etiquette of holding foot traffic up to take a photo in public?

Is there a general consensus that I'm not aware of regarding the etiquette of holding foot traffic up to take a photo in public? This is most apparent where it is a group photo with a public monument ...
139 votes
11 answers
39k views

How to deflect awkward questions when shopping for women's clothing as a man?

This is going to be a bit of weird question, but I don't know how to deal with this anymore. I'm an Indian guy who's recently immigrated to Britain for college. I'm also very, how to put this, ...
10 votes
1 answer
695 views

How to address the disapproval of someones actions when he/she throws litter on the ground

Today I was cycling home from work. I was just cycling past a group of two girls when one of them hit me carelessly when she was throwing her tin can of energy drink on the ground. They said "sorry ...
10 votes
3 answers
1k views

How to listen to music without looking antisocial?

A lot of people wear headphones or earbuds, often with no music playing, as a sign that they don't want to be bothered. But maybe I want to listen to music when in public, perhaps simply for the fact ...
5 votes
1 answer
708 views

How can I support my aunt when she is being "yelled" at by a stranger?

The other day, I was in some kind of park where children had tools and material to build huts. Since they weren't a lot of material, when a hut was finished it was then dismantled and the material was ...
36 votes
7 answers
12k views

How to tell a friend I can see through her swimming suit

I (male) and a friend (female) went swimming in a public outdoor pool together. She met with another female friend there. When she (my friend) sat outside for a couple minutes the sun made her ...
101 votes
6 answers
24k views

How do I deal with other people's screaming children in restaurants?

I want to start off by saying that I'm not referring to "family friendly" restaurants or other venues where a loud, informal atmosphere might be expected. I'm specifically asking about dining ...
29 votes
3 answers
7k views

How to politely tell someone "No Smoking here"?

I am pretty allergic to smoking and often come across people in public, public transport and in gatherings, etc. who carelessly smoke without caring about their environment. This issue gets more ...
14 votes
2 answers
3k views

How should I address a drag queen?

I've been invited to a night out with a few friends and we're going to a drag show! Something that I've never done before but I am excited about. I believe that there will be other drag queens ...
8 votes
2 answers
811 views

A stranger on the street accidentaly dropped their wallet: if and how may I point it out to them?

While walking down the street I noticed another pedestrian, who was ahead of me, accidentally dropping his wallet. I did not stare at this wallet, of course, but it wasn't hard to notice that it ...
59 votes
4 answers
10k views

Dismissing a stranger asking for help without being dismissive of their possible situation?

For some background into the layout of where this situation takes place, my apartment complex has it's own dog park. Within a few hundred feet of the dog park is a large and spacious public park, ...
12 votes
2 answers
931 views

How can I wait in line for the bathroom without crowding people as they exit?

When I'm in a public establishment and there's a wait for the bathroom, I prefer not to stand too close to the door, because then I'm right in the face of the person exiting. In particular, I think ...
21 votes
5 answers
4k views

How do I tactfully ask a flight attendant what's going on if I know my plane has a problem?

I think it's worth explaining that I fall on the autism spectrum, so certain answers that may seem extremely obvious to others are not at all obvious to me. So I was on a flight recently (let's say, ...
43 votes
7 answers
16k views

Asking guys to quit shouting in a bar

I've been making a more conscious effort to work on my social skills lately. Particularly soft skills dealings with random people in public places. My shrink recommended that I do the obvious thing, "...
40 votes
6 answers
13k views

How to approach the situation where someone "steals" your table?

Part of my daily routine is having an early morning coffee with my wife at this cute little coffee house near our work. Said coffee house is usually packed so finding a table is a gambit, especially ...
60 votes
9 answers
19k views

How to introduce metamours without causing awkwardness?

I am involved in a polyamorous relationship. Currently my wife has both a husband (me) and a boyfriend. We like to go out for normal "couple" type activities like dinner dates, movies, and attending ...
0 votes
5 answers
2k views

How to react to an excuse if it wasn't "Ok"? [duplicate]

I was walking down the street, when a rushing older man just barged into me. He very politely excused himself for that. So I wanted to accept that excuse, but since he could have prevented it from my ...
21 votes
3 answers
8k views

Is it appropriate for a non-Japanese person to wear a yukata when going to fireworks?

During the summer, many Japanese people go to fireworks or bonodori festivals wearing a "yukata": source As a non-Japanese person going to such events, should I refrain from using a yukata? I'm ...
50 votes
12 answers
16k views

How to effectively give out a last warning?

I'm a very calm person. You can insult or harass me a long time before I actually react. But when I react, I tend to go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds (think, from looking visibly displeased to ...
10 votes
3 answers
1k views

How do I approach telling someone that they are not invited to an event that I am having?

I'm part of a tabletop RPG (roleplaying game) group, and I also happen to be the host, the organizer and the game master (read: the one who runs the game) of our weekly games. I got asked to help ...
44 votes
14 answers
14k views

How can I address a man talking inappropriately about women? [duplicate]

Source is this twitter thread: https://twitter.com/MalwareJake/status/976848126987374593 Excerpt: She said that the guy who appeared to be the unofficial group leader started talking about one of ...
30 votes
9 answers
12k views

Under what circumstances is it okay to not hold a door open?

So, we’ve all had a situation where someone is coming into—our out of—some place, we notice someone coming towards the doorway we are in… At what point is it safe to just let a door close an not hold ...
1 vote
1 answer
795 views

How to not feel weird when buying girl clothes as a teen boy [duplicate]

I'm a young high school student that really like dressing up as a girl in my house when my parents aren't here I usually use my mom’s clothes but I wanna get my own too. I really don't know how to go ...
76 votes
13 answers
28k views

Responding to being told to "smile" by a stranger?

This seems to be a fairly common scenario. Since I don't work in a public environment anymore, it's been something that hasn't crossed my mind in a long while. However, today while paying for a few ...
8 votes
3 answers
4k views

How to handle people stressing me by standing too close in a line (and other similar circumstances)?

People standing too close In the lunch buffet room, I'm putting the food from the container on my plate, then scootch a step to the side, put some potatoes or whatever, then scootch again, etc. Right ...
4 votes
3 answers
1k views

Stop and prevent unwanted conversation with a stranger

This question comes from my wife Alice (her English is even worse than mine). In the middle of the day, my wife ("Alice") goes for a walk in the park with our 2 months old son, and a dog. ...
18 votes
7 answers
3k views

How to handle accidentally bumping into a drunk person while walking?

Yesterday when I left my office, I bumped into a drunk person while walking. I didn't notice him, since I was walking while checking my WhatsApp messages. Then, since he was drunk, he started ...
4 votes
2 answers
1k views

How to handle an unreasonably hostile individual when avoiding them/the situation is not an option?

This question was inspired by the events that took place on the Southwest flight from Portland to Sacramento where a woman became unruly and threatened to kill everyone on the plane when she was ...