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Questions tagged [requests]

This tag is for questions about making requests to other people, be it about information, a favor, or to preform a task. Don't use this tag for requests towards to Interpersonal Skills site itself. Post these on meta instead.

7
votes
1answer
253 views

Asking a retired soldier about their experiences

I know an elderly guy through a volunteering program that helps charities. He seems rather kind but I don’t talk to him often. I know when he was younger, he served on the American forces and helped ...
3
votes
1answer
345 views

Asking an update from a friend who agreed to help me but who didn't respond me last time

I have a friend who agreed to help me on something half a year ago. Around the winter holidays, last time we chatted, I told him I was ready to implement my plan but he told me that he was upset ...
7
votes
1answer
226 views

Does including a reason when making an assertive request make it more effective?

I need to make an assertive request to my neighbours about making noise outside my bedroom early in the morning. I am ill at the moment, and being woken up early is more than just an annoyance, it ...
9
votes
3answers
467 views

Knowing when you should send message instead of asking in person

In my day to day life, when I have a question, I like to ask the person who has the answer in person (instead of sending a slack message). One of the reasons for that is that, most of the time, I can'...
21
votes
5answers
3k views

Asking my friend out even though I have a girlfriend

I am a 20 years old male from Canada. I have been with my girlfriend (also 20 years old) for about three months. When we started being in a relationship, we agreed that it was an exclusive one ...
2
votes
4answers
250 views

How to receive a direct answer from a request?

Background Earlier today my poor car decided to utter its last few combustion cycles. It’s the day before I usually purchase groceries for the week. Waiting a few days for repairs has me stuck in a ...
1
vote
4answers
511 views

Asking not leading questions without sounding cold and/or detach

Following this question about not asking leading questions, I tried to apply the advice in my day to day life for all kind of situation (including online conversation). However, I find that I am now ...
5
votes
2answers
361 views

How to “nudge” a client to email me back without seeming rude

First, some background knowledge: I'm currently building a video game for a client, mostly for a bit of practice. My "client" isn't paying for the game to be made, since I had just started programming ...
11
votes
1answer
483 views

How to ask my friend to tell her support group she was sexually assaulted?

Preface For the sake of my friend, I want to convince/ask her to talk to her extended support group about the situation. This is a decision she has to make herself and I really think that it’d help ...
6
votes
1answer
617 views

Brother thinks no one wants to hang out with him

Two quick notes about my brother, 21M: His personality type is stubborn and borderline obnoxious at times He will help anyone with very little notice or thought The root of the problem is he ...
4
votes
1answer
439 views

How can I tell my friend to take her medication?

I have a friend who takes medication for anxiety and depression. When she forgets to take her medication she has very specific behaviors, some of which include tantrums, panic attacks, and ...
4
votes
2answers
461 views

How to get hosts to split invitations to parties between ex-partners

My Ex and I recently broke up. There are a lot of very negative feelings on my side due to things that happened during the relationship and after the breakup. It is still hard for me to be in her ...
5
votes
2answers
415 views

How do I get my landlord to show some consideration without souring our relationship?

I've been living at my current address for just under 3 months. I'm not renewing the lease for another year after this one is up, so my landlord has just started to take viewings for the property. So ...
8
votes
7answers
1k views

How to not be “this annoying nitpicking Quality Engineer”?

I am a 23-year-old woman who was hired 2 weeks ago. As a Q&A engineer, I have to ask developers to change the way they are coding in order to improve the code's quality, maintainability, and ...
0
votes
3answers
561 views

Rude behavior in canteen

In our work place there are around 1100 employees. Majority of them collectively gather in factory canteen during break and take their lunch.This canteen consists of a big hall with hundreds of ...
4
votes
2answers
531 views

How to ask a host to fix something, they consider due to their lacking knowledge, not flawed?

I am living for 2 months now in a pension and will probably stay there for 3~4 more months. The host provides WLAN. Sadly the WLAN is blocking some websites and a vast amount of ports required for ...
5
votes
3answers
780 views

Communicate to flatmates I want to clean less because I am never at home

I live in an apartment with 3 other people. Nice people and we get along pretty well. We have a cleaning rotation where everyone gets to clean a quarter each week which rotates. Which is fair a thing. ...
6
votes
1answer
324 views

How can I tell if I'm being a bother when asking for help?

I started a new job several weeks ago and like with any new job, I have no idea what I'm doing. I have a "mentor"--somebody on the team who's designated to helping get me up to speed with everything--...
5
votes
2answers
650 views

Making my friends take my requests seriously

I'm having trouble with a few friends (I see on a regular basis) to take me, and what I say seriously. They sometimes straight up just ignore me. Also, it's not like I'm telling them to do stuff they ...
12
votes
1answer
610 views

Cellphone-obsessed friend (and driver)

I have a good friend who, in my opinion, uses his cell phone too much while we are hanging out. When we do things like go to dinner together as a group, he is often not paying attention, engrossed in ...
6
votes
6answers
979 views

How do I tell my boss that I cannot learn the way he wants me to? [closed]

I'm currently in a new area of the business in what is somewhat a career change (from support to development). I have been in this position for just over a year now, and when I started my boss wanted ...
4
votes
3answers
607 views

Is there a way to ask a person to not ask so many questions without coming across as rude?

My aunt asks a lot of questions, some of which come across as invasive or non-constructive. One example is we were planning to meet at a mutual family members house and she kept asking me questions ...
5
votes
5answers
731 views

How do you get someone's honest opinion about your cooking?

The flip-side to this question about being asked one's opinion on food they didn't like; What things should you keep in mind if you have cooked or are cooking a meal for family or friends, and would ...
1
vote
2answers
214 views

Request for a telephone interview [closed]

I am currently job hunting and have recently applied for a role in Berlin and I live in the UK, the job advert offered paid relocation. They have just reached out offering me an interview at their ...
52
votes
9answers
12k views

How can I ask a new date to not smoke around me?

I can't stand smoking, like, at all. I get repulsed by someone's smoking nearby or coming close to me after smoking. It's purely due to the smell, which I find about on par with eating foods I hate ...
3
votes
1answer
221 views

How should I approach the subject of offering to clean a relative's home for them? [closed]

I have a relative that lives in a small apartment but it's quite messy. She pointed out that her home was messy and explained that she couldn't clean it because her health wasn't up to the tee. How ...
17
votes
3answers
8k views

Requesting time off to attend a Pride event

For those that are unfamiliar June is Pride month. The month of June was chosen for LGBT Pride Month to commemorate the Stonewall riots, which occurred at the end of June 1969. As a result, many ...
46
votes
4answers
19k views

How to politely request we don't eat out for lunch on my first day at new job?

Tomorrow I start work as a software developer -- my first full time job. Four of my close friends work at the same company. They usually eat lunch in the break room, but for everyone's interviews and ...
121
votes
8answers
28k views

Requesting someone to give up their seat to me on public transport if I have an invisible disability?

I have an invisible disability. I do not really want to disclose what it is, but I have trouble standing up on public transport for longer than a few minutes. I would like to sit down. Now, the bus/...
3
votes
3answers
696 views

Politely requesting the office lights remain on?

I work in a small office, there's 6 of us in total, so it's not possible to turn off "some" of the lights without turning them all off. In the UK, we're now in the Spring season, which generally ...
56
votes
13answers
17k views

How can I ask (or determine) if someone on the phone is human without offending them?

I recently saw a doctor about a minor medical problem. This is the first time I saw this doctor . After the appointment I asked my doctor a follow-up question via my insurance company's website. I got ...
7
votes
3answers
869 views

How to politely deal with smoking, within range of my window, in a block of flats?

I live on the fourth floor of a building that's shaped a bit like a T, and I live on the inside edge of the top of the T. One of my neighbours, who lives in my side of the long edge of the T, on the ...
3
votes
3answers
703 views

How to get housemates to be quieter when video-chatting?

I live in a large shared house with international people. I noticed it’s natural to speak a bit louder than a normal voice when video-chatting (because the microphone isn’t right beside your face). I ...
3
votes
3answers
699 views

Polite way to request more “elbow room” in open-plan office?

My workplace subscribes to a startup mentality and our seating is made up of long double-sided tables that are each five "desk" pieces locked together end-to-end. Anyone is free to sit where they like ...
15
votes
4answers
1k views

How to ask people to speak softer?

I am suffering from a medical condition called hyperacusis, which makes normal levels of noise painful (and potentially damaging) for me. I have found ways to cope with this condition in my daily life,...
0
votes
2answers
209 views

Is “Can you come to the game on Saturday?” a question or a request? [closed]

Someone asks me "Can you come to the game on Saturday?" I replied yes but thinking they are asking me a question and not actually tell me to come. The asker assumed that I would come and got annoyed ...
8
votes
6answers
1k views

How to convince a group of friends to drop a topic that's making the group uncomfortable?

My close friend is a very dominant (DISC) person. Last time, he bashed my ex-high school when we hang out with some friends. He had valid points, and I had admitted it, but nevertheless, I asked him ...
46
votes
4answers
10k views

How to ask someone to not leave their pee on the floor when they use my bathroom?

I have a male nurse who comes to my house every so often to give me medication and observe me all day for any reactions. When he is here, he leaves pee puddles on the floor in front of the toilet (...
22
votes
8answers
15k views

How do I politely tell a stranger to stop making annoying noises I can't name?

Background I've encountered this problem several times and under different circumstances. It really annoys me when people constantly make noises with their mouth. Now, I can't name them and they come ...
5
votes
4answers
294 views

How can I motivate the group to participate in the annoying small chores?

I think everyone knows about this one: You are in a team, a good team with lots going on and lots getting done. But not everything. The projects are challenging, you see the guys around you growing ...
4
votes
4answers
624 views

How do I best handle offering my phone upon request without becoming a phone booth

I'm in the community library coding away on some c++11 std::thread work when a library patron enters the quiet area asking to use someone's phone. To his chagrin, he was met with head shakes (no). ...
13
votes
5answers
3k views

How to ask someone if I can do a background check on them?

I'm currently preparing to cycle the TransAmerica Trail next summer, and am in the process of searching for a traveling companion. The problem though is that, since this is a fairly long trip, it is ...
13
votes
3answers
4k views

How could I ask a stranger to take a photo of me while traveling?

I always travel alone, so it is not possible to take a photo of myself except selfies. Some of my friends also travel alone, yet they frequently upload non-selfie photos of themselves on SNS. I asked ...
2
votes
4answers
514 views

How to request quicker replies from someone who is often out of the office, and nobody else can help?

The replier (the 'someone' in this question's title) is the most senior and only person who can resolve my matter; I contacted his superior who again referred me to him and told me that he's that ...
21
votes
7answers
7k views

How can I ask someone I've never met to type quieter?

I'm working in a co-working space, and today a new guy is working at the same table as me. His typing (on his laptop) is quite intense, which makes a lot of noise. In addition, the table is not too ...
12
votes
2answers
3k views

How can I subtly tell coworker I don't want a surprise leaving party?

So, I've handed my notice in at my job and one of my colleagues (let's call him Bob for the sake of argument) is giving me the suspicion that he's throwing a surprise get together with the office for ...
26
votes
3answers
4k views

How can I respond to “It's because I'm <historically oppressed quality>” as a rebuttal to a request?

Occasionally I hear or encounter "it's because I'm <historically oppressed quality>" as a response to an objectionable request to the claimant. The claimant is usually a minor who in my ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

How to ask a large group of people to stop playing loud music on a train

Sometimes when my friends/colleagues (2-3 people) and I travel by train there is another group of people who play songs on their mobile phones without using headphones and on full volume. Many of us (...
19
votes
1answer
888 views

How can I follow up if a polite request to follow the rules has been declined?

How should I follow up if a polite request to adhere to the rules is ignored or declined? An Example Dutch trains have special silent compartments (Dutch: stiltecoupé), where people are supposed to ...