Questions tagged [roommates]

For questions pertaining to people who share accommodation, whether a room or a house, but without necessarily being in "a relationship."

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How to handle landlord siding with tenant unreasonably complaining about my use of shared spaces?

My question is how do I deescalate this situation and live here without the stress of conflict: I live in a house with couple other people. Some areas are shared, like the kitchen and bathroom. A new ...
1
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1answer
99 views

How do I refuse doing something for my possibly narcissistic grandmother?

I live with my possibly narcissistic grandmother, she is about 75 years old and has progressive hearing loss. Basically, it's almost impossible to get her into therapy now, and if she is truly ...
3
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0answers
213 views

Asking housemate’s partners to contribute toward bills during pandemic?

I share a 5 bedroom house with 4 others. We all get on and they are nice people. As the Coronavirus spread in the UK I was put on furlough (temporary leave paid for by the government, as long as I ...
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0answers
115 views

How to get someone to stop bossing me around?

I live with a roommate who can be rather bossy. She seems to come up with bizarre reasons we need to do something or says we had agreed to it in the past but it's more her interpretation of something ...
3
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1answer
513 views

How can I defuse this tension with my roommate so I don't feel scared to use the kitchen?

After coming home from splurging on groceries and excited to cook, my roommate told me that this living situation was no longer working for him and that I should look for housing elsewhere. He cited ...
5
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2answers
1k views

How to tell flatmate to not bring his friends/girlfriend over during the current epidemic?

We're both early 20's males in the UK. We both intern at the same company, and have lived together for around 8 months. Given the present situation, people are supposed to be isolating themselves as ...
3
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0answers
296 views

How to make a friend move out of my place [closed]

My and my flatmate's friend (also my best friend's brother) got into a heated argument with his family shortly after returning from working abroad, and decided to permanently move out from the family ...
4
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2answers
1k views

My autistic roommate requests plenty of hugs, but they make me uncomfortable. How do I approach this?

I have an autistic roommate - and he is incredibly smart and a genuinely good guy. However, he frequently asks me for hugs and it makes me uncomfortable, unfortunately. His hugs are very long and ...
4
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1answer
644 views

How to non-rudely exit or change the subject of a conversation where someone is wittering

Sometimes I find myself on the receiving end of what I call "wittering," or for lack of a better term verbal diarrhea. This is essentially where someone will start talking at length, often without ...
2
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1answer
652 views

How can I let someone know that they say things that are triggering for me? [closed]

This roomie I have often says things that trigger me emotionally. I feel terribly introverted and don't know how to ask him not to say these things. I have been tolerating this for a couple months now ...
8
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2answers
1k views

How to explain to roommate from India if I'm with a guest it's not a good time to discuss roommate issues?

I live in a shared house in the US. Generally speaking it's very nice and the people I share it with are nice. There's a young lady from India who I noticed has very different views than I do. She ...
1
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1answer
324 views

How to deal with a messy flatmate? [closed]

I am living with a very messy flatmate. It is a shared living arrangement, where we both pay rent to the landlady. Few instances: Taking out trash: She never took out the trash. Initial agreement ...
4
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1answer
1k views

How to negotiate about drying clothes with someone from a culture who isn't used to it?

I live in a shared house. Recently someone from India moved in. Though we have an electric clothes dryer, some of my clothes are not suitable to put inside. For example, a few dress pants, swimsuit, ...
4
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1answer
713 views

How can I tell my two roommates separately that I’m moving out?

Some background information: I’m international and I currently live with two American humans (let’s call them A & B - I’ve known A for a while, but I don’t know B very well; they’re friends.) in ...
5
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1answer
1k views

How to ask a noisy housemate to be quieter?

I've lived in an apartment with my two housemates for 10 months. One housemate is not very problematic. The other, however, has become very noisy within the past few months. Ever since summer has ...
0
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1answer
277 views

Band mates / roommates unwilling to share our rehearsal space and equipment

I'm a member of a band, band "A", which has played together for over a year. For the past year, band "A" has been basically the only musical project for all of the members. We just started renting a ...
5
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1answer
627 views

How should I tell my friend that I found room for the next school year?

Way back a few months ago I suggested to my friend that we should room together next year. I started looking at housing before the College school year ended, but I never found anything. Now it's been ...
31
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7answers
11k views

Different budgets within roommate group

I'm a third-year student/ junior at a US university, and I'm about to move into an apartment with three friends of mine. The main reason I wanted to move was to save money, and I thought this was the ...
9
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1answer
799 views

How to get roommate to be respectful, when communication has no effect?

I'm a college student living in a small city in the US. I am currently sharing an apartment with two other women (Jane and Mary), both in their early 20s. We each have our own bedroom but share a ...
5
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2answers
871 views

Dishes are still dirty after my housemate “cleans” them. How to address the issue?

We all know the classic "my housemate is a slob" issue. Quite often, people get frustrated because their housemates do not clean after themselves. My issue is a little bit different, in that my ...
2
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2answers
760 views

Letting people know they don't owe me directly

I've recently been able to afford things rather easily and I also live with flatmates (who are also coworkers). We all make the same amount and share a lot of stuff. Whenever I feel like it, I just ...
9
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3answers
3k views

How to reply to “don't you trust me?” when asking to see bill?

I live in a shared house where the utilities are under the lease holders name (Bob). I have a written agreement with Bob where he said I can see the original bills for utilities. I don't know why, but ...
3
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1answer
804 views

Is it common courtesy to leave a gift behind someone's door?

My landlord always gives me a birthday gift. He is too kind I know, but he never delivers the gift by himself, instead he leaves it in the common kitchen. Sometimes he also gives us a piece of cake ...
7
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1answer
418 views

How to confront roommate with an issue in sharing?

I live in a 2bed 2ba with my roommate. I cook more often than my roommate - once every day vs once a week. My roommate keeps eating my food (although not much) but never reciprocates. When he does ...
2
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1answer
746 views

How to insist roommate provides me with proof of utilities bill?

I live in a shared house with several other people. One of them (call him Bob) signed the master lease with the owner and his name is on all the utilities. I pay Bob rent and my utilities. I have a ...
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2answers
1k views

Leaseholder suddenly increased everyone's rent, saying when he renewed lease with owner, they increased it

I live in a shared household. One person signed the lease with the owner and we pay him money for rent. He gave postdated checks to the owner. The lease recently was up for renewal and the owner ...
5
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2answers
792 views

Roommates go on witch hunts over petty grievances and it stresses me out

I live in a house shared with several other roommates. I find some go on witch hunts and ask loaded questions intended to get someone in trouble. For example, I've got: "Did you use this pan last?", ...
5
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2answers
459 views

Former housemates have left things at my house. How do I get them to take their things?

My wife and I often host various friends of ours who need a short term place to stay (e.g. a 1-2 week gap between leases). Often, when the friend moved out, they've said something like "I can't fit ...
2
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2answers
761 views

How to communicate with sensitive roommates accusing me of passive-aggression?

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. I really like it here, but as per previous questions there's been some conflicts regarding the rules and expectations of other roommates. I worked really ...
6
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2answers
776 views

How to ask primary roommate not to share key to my room with other people?

I live in a shared house and one of the roommates has the lease to the place. With is permission, I put a lock on my bedroom door. He then insisted I give him a key. I had hid a key for him to use, ...
4
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1answer
633 views

Leaseholder rented out storageroom and I was under impression money from it would be divided evenly

I live as a roommate in a house shared with several other people. We had agreed to let an additional person stay here for several months for $x amount of dollars (technically I never agreed to this ...
2
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2answers
999 views

How to get recognition for the cleaning I do?

I live in a shared house with several other roommates. One of them signed the lease with the owner, and thus has authority to kick anyone out. Call him Dylan. Another roommate, Bob, is very outspoken ...
2
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1answer
433 views

How to negotiate with brash roommate

I live in a dormitory in Russia with two more roommates. One of them is a nice person so we can take him out of the question. The other one is a problem, though. He moved in last September when the ...
18
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5answers
3k views

How can I decline a hug without offending?

My boyfriend shares an apartment with an older man who has a physical disability which prevents him from walking. The housemate is very kind and intelligent. However, sometimes when I am alone with ...
2
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4answers
1k views

How to say I will not be participating in the current system of sharing costs (because I don't think it's fair), when people are easily offended?

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. The house used to be a kind of community house for (where people would eat dinner together and roommates are found through the church). I'm not religious ...
2
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2answers
1k views

How do I set the boundaries I’m not ok with how someone is speaking to me? [closed]

I live in a shared household. I was speaking with someone, call him Bob, in the kitchen. I needed to speak with another roommate, call him Dylan, and asked Bob which room he lives in (Dylan moved in ...
7
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2answers
2k views

How do I talk to my housemate about bathroom hygiene?

I live in a shared house with 3 other people through my college's housing program. We have our own rooms, a common kitchen and living room, and two bathrooms (1 per two people). The person I share a ...
16
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3answers
2k views

Non-tech savvy roommate thinks I hacked into his computer because when he scans wifi it shows my printer connected

My roommate is a bit paranoid about security and privacy. He’s also not very good with computers. He told me he got a message that his gmail account had been compromised, and recently his laptop has ...
6
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1answer
763 views

How to tell flatmate that one of her visitors often leaves the toilet in a dirty state?

My flatmate and me are very good friends. Both me and her put a lot of emphasis on cleanliness in our whole apartment (what is suiting completely fine). For a few days her family stays here for a ...
8
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2answers
2k views

Primary roommate wants me to give him copy of key to my bedroom and I don't want to

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. Things are great. The area is good, rent is moderate, house itself is good, and I do like the people I live with. However, someone is making a request/...
0
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2answers
722 views

My roommate cheats at jeopardy. How do I respond? [duplicate]

Context For the past few months, my roommates and I have been watching Jeopardy when we all get home at night as a fun activity. Whenever one of us knows an answer, they try to yell it out before the ...
8
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1answer
866 views

How can I ask my flatmate why she's upset after I mentioned feeling like a third wheel?

A few days ago my flatmate [22, F] and me [26, M] went to a party. She was asking me which of two guys she should hook up with. It was more jokingly, at least I thought and she also told me it's just ...
4
votes
2answers
787 views

How to reply politely to someone asking too many vague questions?

I have a roommate who asks a lot of questions. Most of them are on topics that are more a matter of opinion, such as religion and politics. He is from Colombia and lots of things are new to him, but I ...
5
votes
3answers
484 views

How do I get my flat mate to clean up after herself?

I can't live with this situation any more. Every Morning I enter the kitchen there is a huge mess. Dirty pots, plates and food leftovers. I am really not that fussy but I appreciate a general ...
2
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4answers
2k views

Roommate demanding security deposit before leaving the room

I signed the lease for a small 2 bedroom apartment. I have had four roommates in the span of three years. The three previous roommates left because they moved out of town. The current roommate started ...
5
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3answers
833 views

Communicate to flatmates I want to clean less because I am never at home

I live in an apartment with 3 other people. Nice people and we get along pretty well. We have a cleaning rotation where everyone gets to clean a quarter each week which rotates. Which is fair a thing. ...
2
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1answer
795 views

How to ask my roommate to move out?

Background I know it sounds selfish but here it is. From the past 3 years, I have been living alone in a rented room. 6 months ago, I had to change the city due to a new job. The rent here is a bit ...
3
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1answer
995 views

How to turn roommate down politely?

My potential roommate and I planned to lease a flat for the last of our university time. However he plans to live in the flat even between semesters (not returning home) so that he can get a job to ...