Questions tagged [roommates]

For questions pertaining to people who share accommodation, whether a room or a house, but without necessarily being in "a relationship."

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2
votes
1answer
595 views

How can I let someone know that they say things that are triggering for me? [closed]

This roomie I have often says things that trigger me emotionally. I feel terribly introverted and don't know how to ask him not to say these things. I have been tolerating this for a couple months now ...
9
votes
2answers
967 views

How to explain to roommate from India if I'm with a guest it's not a good time to discuss roommate issues?

I live in a shared house in the US. Generally speaking it's very nice and the people I share it with are nice. There's a young lady from India who I noticed has very different views than I do. She ...
1
vote
1answer
313 views

How to deal with a messy flatmate? [closed]

I am living with a very messy flatmate. It is a shared living arrangement, where we both pay rent to the landlady. Few instances: Taking out trash: She never took out the trash. Initial agreement ...
4
votes
1answer
1k views

How to negotiate about drying clothes with someone from a culture who isn't used to it?

I live in a shared house. Recently someone from India moved in. Though we have an electric clothes dryer, some of my clothes are not suitable to put inside. For example, a few dress pants, swimsuit, ...
1
vote
0answers
521 views

Without speaking to me, roommate complained to landlord and got him to make “new rules” [closed]

I live in a shared home. I share a bathroom with one other person and the kitchen with 2 other people. It is very independent. We only see each other in passing. At the beginning of last month one ...
4
votes
1answer
679 views

How can I tell my two roommates separately that I’m moving out?

Some background information: I’m international and I currently live with two American humans (let’s call them A & B - I’ve known A for a while, but I don’t know B very well; they’re friends.) in ...
5
votes
1answer
762 views

How to ask a noisy housemate to be quieter?

I've lived in an apartment with my two housemates for 10 months. One housemate is not very problematic. The other, however, has become very noisy within the past few months. Ever since summer has ...
0
votes
1answer
267 views

Band mates / roommates unwilling to share our rehearsal space and equipment

I'm a member of a band, band "A", which has played together for over a year. For the past year, band "A" has been basically the only musical project for all of the members. We just started renting a ...
5
votes
1answer
613 views

How should I tell my friend that I found room for the next school year?

Way back a few months ago I suggested to my friend that we should room together next year. I started looking at housing before the College school year ended, but I never found anything. Now it's been ...
31
votes
7answers
11k views

Different budgets within roommate group

I'm a third-year student/ junior at a US university, and I'm about to move into an apartment with three friends of mine. The main reason I wanted to move was to save money, and I thought this was the ...
9
votes
1answer
780 views

How to get roommate to be respectful, when communication has no effect?

I'm a college student living in a small city in the US. I am currently sharing an apartment with two other women (Jane and Mary), both in their early 20s. We each have our own bedroom but share a ...
5
votes
2answers
857 views

Dishes are still dirty after my housemate “cleans” them. How to address the issue?

We all know the classic "my housemate is a slob" issue. Quite often, people get frustrated because their housemates do not clean after themselves. My issue is a little bit different, in that my ...
2
votes
2answers
579 views

Letting people know they don't owe me directly

I've recently been able to afford things rather easily and I also live with flatmates (who are also coworkers). We all make the same amount and share a lot of stuff. Whenever I feel like it, I just ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How to reply to “don't you trust me?” when asking to see bill?

I live in a shared house where the utilities are under the lease holders name (Bob). I have a written agreement with Bob where he said I can see the original bills for utilities. I don't know why, but ...
3
votes
1answer
724 views

Is it common courtesy to leave a gift behind someone's door?

My landlord always gives me a birthday gift. He is too kind I know, but he never delivers the gift by himself, instead he leaves it in the common kitchen. Sometimes he also gives us a piece of cake ...
7
votes
1answer
402 views

How to confront roommate with an issue in sharing?

I live in a 2bed 2ba with my roommate. I cook more often than my roommate - once every day vs once a week. My roommate keeps eating my food (although not much) but never reciprocates. When he does ...
2
votes
1answer
638 views

How to insist roommate provides me with proof of utilities bill?

I live in a shared house with several other people. One of them (call him Bob) signed the master lease with the owner and his name is on all the utilities. I pay Bob rent and my utilities. I have a ...
1
vote
2answers
1k views

Leaseholder suddenly increased everyone's rent, saying when he renewed lease with owner, they increased it

I live in a shared household. One person signed the lease with the owner and we pay him money for rent. He gave postdated checks to the owner. The lease recently was up for renewal and the owner ...
5
votes
2answers
763 views

Roommates go on witch hunts over petty grievances and it stresses me out

I live in a house shared with several other roommates. I find some go on witch hunts and ask loaded questions intended to get someone in trouble. For example, I've got: "Did you use this pan last?", ...
5
votes
2answers
453 views

Former housemates have left things at my house. How do I get them to take their things?

My wife and I often host various friends of ours who need a short term place to stay (e.g. a 1-2 week gap between leases). Often, when the friend moved out, they've said something like "I can't fit ...
2
votes
2answers
731 views

How to communicate with sensitive roommates accusing me of passive-aggression?

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. I really like it here, but as per previous questions there's been some conflicts regarding the rules and expectations of other roommates. I worked really ...
6
votes
2answers
746 views

How to ask primary roommate not to share key to my room with other people?

I live in a shared house and one of the roommates has the lease to the place. With is permission, I put a lock on my bedroom door. He then insisted I give him a key. I had hid a key for him to use, ...
4
votes
1answer
615 views

Leaseholder rented out storageroom and I was under impression money from it would be divided evenly

I live as a roommate in a house shared with several other people. We had agreed to let an additional person stay here for several months for $x amount of dollars (technically I never agreed to this ...
2
votes
2answers
714 views

How to get recognition for the cleaning I do?

I live in a shared house with several other roommates. One of them signed the lease with the owner, and thus has authority to kick anyone out. Call him Dylan. Another roommate, Bob, is very outspoken ...
2
votes
1answer
413 views

How to negotiate with brash roommate

I live in a dormitory in Russia with two more roommates. One of them is a nice person so we can take him out of the question. The other one is a problem, though. He moved in last September when the ...
18
votes
5answers
2k views

How can I decline a hug without offending?

My boyfriend shares an apartment with an older man who has a physical disability which prevents him from walking. The housemate is very kind and intelligent. However, sometimes when I am alone with ...
2
votes
4answers
1k views

How to say I will not be participating in the current system of sharing costs (because I don't think it's fair), when people are easily offended?

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. The house used to be a kind of community house for (where people would eat dinner together and roommates are found through the church). I'm not religious ...
2
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I set the boundaries I’m not ok with how someone is speaking to me? [closed]

I live in a shared household. I was speaking with someone, call him Bob, in the kitchen. I needed to speak with another roommate, call him Dylan, and asked Bob which room he lives in (Dylan moved in ...
7
votes
2answers
792 views

How do I talk to my housemate about bathroom hygiene?

I live in a shared house with 3 other people through my college's housing program. We have our own rooms, a common kitchen and living room, and two bathrooms (1 per two people). The person I share a ...
15
votes
3answers
2k views

Non-tech savvy roommate thinks I hacked into his computer because when he scans wifi it shows my printer connected

My roommate is a bit paranoid about security and privacy. He’s also not very good with computers. He told me he got a message that his gmail account had been compromised, and recently his laptop has ...
6
votes
1answer
749 views

How to tell flatmate that one of her visitors often leaves the toilet in a dirty state?

My flatmate and me are very good friends. Both me and her put a lot of emphasis on cleanliness in our whole apartment (what is suiting completely fine). For a few days her family stays here for a ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

Primary roommate wants me to give him copy of key to my bedroom and I don't want to

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. Things are great. The area is good, rent is moderate, house itself is good, and I do like the people I live with. However, someone is making a request/...
0
votes
2answers
707 views

My roommate cheats at jeopardy. How do I respond? [duplicate]

Context For the past few months, my roommates and I have been watching Jeopardy when we all get home at night as a fun activity. Whenever one of us knows an answer, they try to yell it out before the ...
8
votes
1answer
818 views

How can I ask my flatmate why she's upset after I mentioned feeling like a third wheel?

A few days ago my flatmate [22, F] and me [26, M] went to a party. She was asking me which of two guys she should hook up with. It was more jokingly, at least I thought and she also told me it's just ...
3
votes
2answers
669 views

How to reply politely to someone asking too many vague questions?

I have a roommate who asks a lot of questions. Most of them are on topics that are more a matter of opinion, such as religion and politics. He is from Colombia and lots of things are new to him, but I ...
5
votes
3answers
482 views

How do I get my flat mate to clean up after herself?

I can't live with this situation any more. Every Morning I enter the kitchen there is a huge mess. Dirty pots, plates and food leftovers. I am really not that fussy but I appreciate a general ...
2
votes
4answers
1k views

Roommate demanding security deposit before leaving the room

I signed the lease for a small 2 bedroom apartment. I have had four roommates in the span of three years. The three previous roommates left because they moved out of town. The current roommate started ...
5
votes
3answers
817 views

Communicate to flatmates I want to clean less because I am never at home

I live in an apartment with 3 other people. Nice people and we get along pretty well. We have a cleaning rotation where everyone gets to clean a quarter each week which rotates. Which is fair a thing. ...
2
votes
1answer
737 views

How to ask my roommate to move out?

Background I know it sounds selfish but here it is. From the past 3 years, I have been living alone in a rented room. 6 months ago, I had to change the city due to a new job. The rent here is a bit ...
3
votes
1answer
967 views

How to turn roommate down politely?

My potential roommate and I planned to lease a flat for the last of our university time. However he plans to live in the flat even between semesters (not returning home) so that he can get a job to ...
4
votes
3answers
1k views

How to tell the leaseholder I won't cover a kicked-out roommates rent

Last month I moved into a shared house. There are 6 people living here. The primary leaseholder told me he had told another tenant to move out because he was always late on the rent. I never met this ...
5
votes
3answers
622 views

Going to live in someone else's house--how to ask for rules?

Background I have found a new job in another city. While I'm looking for an apartment I will be living in my cousin's house. I have never lived in her house before (and I have been at her house for ...
11
votes
4answers
2k views

Roommate on my wifi

I'm living in an apartment with a roommate. When they first moved in they didn't have a router and therefore could not connect to the internet. I offered to let them connect to my wifi until they were ...
-1
votes
1answer
432 views

My roommate/friend uses lots of toilet paper and I'm not sure how to talk to him about us starting to each buy and use our own toilet paper? [closed]

I (22m) recently moved in with my two friends (21m and 22m). One roommate (21m) goes through toilet paper like water (like we're talking 8 rolls in like a week or two). But basically me and my other ...
4
votes
1answer
452 views

How can I tell my roommates they are being too loud at night?

Background: I'm a university student (USA) that currently shares an apartment with 5 other people, 2 people to each room. Typically, I have to get up early to go to work and then go to school after ...
8
votes
3answers
1k views

How can I communicate I need to be told specific rules that they consider Christian values?

My lease is ending and I need to find a new place to live. After moving out of my parents' place I have always lived with roommates. I am not yet able to financially afford my own place by myself. For ...
1
vote
1answer
470 views

How to deal with annoying Room mate? [closed]

I live in a three bedroom apartment with three of my former colleagues. Two of us have a room of their own, while I share my room with P(his initial name). P is also the most outspoken and social ...
67
votes
4answers
22k views

My roommate is making me pay too much for rent. How should I confront him?

I just moved to a new city for my master studies. I met a man via a social website who is already living here and he offered to rent me his two room apartment for a year while he was studying abroad, ...