Questions tagged [roommates]

For questions pertaining to people who share accommodation, whether a room or a house, but without necessarily being in "a relationship."

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68
votes
4answers
23k views

My roommate is making me pay too much for rent. How can I confront him?

I just moved to a new city for my master studies. I met a man via a social website who is already living here and he offered to rent me his two room apartment for a year while he was studying abroad, ...
8
votes
3answers
1k views

How to convey interest while someone tries to engage me in small talk?

My problem When I discuss things with people, I rarely bounce on what they say until something hits me because I just don't know what to say. I listen to them carefully, but since I'm not answering I ...
8
votes
3answers
2k views

How can I communicate I need to be told specific rules that they consider Christian values?

My lease is ending and I need to find a new place to live. After moving out of my parents' place I have always lived with roommates. I am not yet able to financially afford my own place by myself. For ...
4
votes
1answer
390 views

My roommate cooks so much I don't get a turn with the kitchen

I live with two people. We share a kitchen and living room. One of the roommates cooks a lot! I know you need to share things when living with other people, but she's in it so often it's regular for ...
8
votes
2answers
640 views

Dealing with Extremely Chatty Housemates

I am a graduate student at the moment and sharing a house with undergraduate students. What I've noticed is that a lot of undergraduate students who are studying let's say relatively soft subjects ...
4
votes
1answer
619 views

Roommate started new job and using Skype a lot in common areas

A few months ago I moved into a new home. I share it with 2 other people. One of my roommates started a new job recently. She worked in the office the first week but told me she prefers to work from ...
5
votes
2answers
701 views

How to respond to an obviously unfair offer in a high-stakes negotiation without offending the other side?

Background A relative of mine, whom I'll call Tania, owns the larger bedroom of a two-bedroom apartment in Moscow, Russia, while the other bedroom is owned by a guy completely unrelated to her, whom I'...
3
votes
1answer
557 views

Asking housemate’s partners to contribute toward bills during pandemic?

I share a 5 bedroom house with 4 others. We all get on and they are nice people. As the Coronavirus spread in the UK I was put on furlough (temporary leave paid for by the government, as long as I ...
3
votes
1answer
529 views

Dealing with flatmates who do not care for cleanliness

In several shared living environments with all adults I have noticed a pattern of differing hygiene standards. I would find certain levels of uncleanliness in bathroom or kitchen unappealing, whereas ...
2
votes
2answers
558 views

How to tell landlord I don't want him showing my room the day before and during my move

I am moving out of my home. The landlord sent me a message asking what time he can show the place on Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn't realize it right away, but Wednesday is the day I'm moving. I will ...
1
vote
1answer
639 views

How do I ask my unhygienic housemate to move out?

Some context: I was entrusted with living in and looking after my aunt's house for a number of years now, and I've been subletting a couple of the rooms to help pay the rent and bills. One of the ...
29
votes
6answers
9k views

How to deal with a suite mate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in

I am an Asian female college student. This semester, I'm placed to live with two American female roommates in an apartment suite, so we all have separate bedrooms and share a kitchen and a restroom. I ...
1
vote
1answer
287 views

How do I refuse doing something for my possibly narcissistic grandmother?

I live with my possibly narcissistic grandmother, she is about 75 years old and has progressive hearing loss. Basically, it's almost impossible to get her into therapy now, and if she is truly ...
8
votes
2answers
2k views

Primary roommate wants me to give him copy of key to my bedroom and I don't want to

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. Things are great. The area is good, rent is moderate, house itself is good, and I do like the people I live with. However, someone is making a request/...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How to get housemates to be quieter when video-chatting?

I live in a large shared house with international people. I noticed it’s natural to speak a bit louder than a normal voice when video-chatting (because the microphone isn’t right beside your face). I ...
3
votes
1answer
635 views

How can I defuse this tension with my roommate so I don't feel scared to use the kitchen?

After coming home from splurging on groceries and excited to cook, my roommate told me that this living situation was no longer working for him and that I should look for housing elsewhere. He cited ...
4
votes
2answers
1k views

How to tell flatmate to not bring his friends/girlfriend over during the current epidemic?

We're both early 20's males in the UK. We both intern at the same company, and have lived together for around 8 months. Given the present situation, people are supposed to be isolating themselves as ...
2
votes
2answers
1k views

How to get recognition for the cleaning I do?

I live in a shared house with several other roommates. One of them signed the lease with the owner, and thus has authority to kick anyone out. Call him Dylan. Another roommate, Bob, is very outspoken ...
3
votes
0answers
319 views

How to make a friend move out of my place [closed]

My and my flatmate's friend (also my best friend's brother) got into a heated argument with his family shortly after returning from working abroad, and decided to permanently move out from the family ...
4
votes
2answers
1k views

My autistic roommate requests plenty of hugs, but they make me uncomfortable. How do I approach this?

I have an autistic roommate - and he is incredibly smart and a genuinely good guy. However, he frequently asks me for hugs and it makes me uncomfortable, unfortunately. His hugs are very long and ...
4
votes
1answer
700 views

How to non-rudely exit or change the subject of a conversation where someone is wittering

Sometimes I find myself on the receiving end of what I call "wittering," or for lack of a better term verbal diarrhea. This is essentially where someone will start talking at length, often ...
2
votes
1answer
668 views

How can I let someone know that they say things that are triggering for me? [closed]

This roomie I have often says things that trigger me emotionally. I feel terribly introverted and don't know how to ask him not to say these things. I have been tolerating this for a couple months now ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How to explain to roommate from India if I'm with a guest it's not a good time to discuss roommate issues?

I live in a shared house in the US. Generally speaking it's very nice and the people I share it with are nice. There's a young lady from India who I noticed has very different views than I do. She ...
1
vote
1answer
338 views

How to deal with a messy flatmate? [closed]

I am living with a very messy flatmate. It is a shared living arrangement, where we both pay rent to the landlady. Few instances: Taking out trash: She never took out the trash. Initial agreement ...
31
votes
7answers
11k views

Different budgets within roommate group

I'm a third-year student/ junior at a US university, and I'm about to move into an apartment with three friends of mine. The main reason I wanted to move was to save money, and I thought this was the ...
16
votes
2answers
16k views

How do I ask someone to be my roommate?

I am going to complete my freshman year of college this spring and I have run into a small problem. My roommate (let's call him "Jim") seems to not like the college and in all probability is going to ...
4
votes
1answer
1k views

How to negotiate about drying clothes with someone from a culture who isn't used to it?

I live in a shared house. Recently someone from India moved in. Though we have an electric clothes dryer, some of my clothes are not suitable to put inside. For example, a few dress pants, swimsuit, ...
5
votes
1answer
731 views

How can I tell my two roommates separately that I’m moving out?

Some background information: I’m international and I currently live with two American humans (let’s call them A & B - I’ve known A for a while, but I don’t know B very well; they’re friends.) in ...
19
votes
4answers
7k views

Two friends and their wedlocked affair

I currently live in a house with 3 other people, my girlfriend Julie, and 2 friends Bob and John. Outside of our household, we have a friend named Jane, who is our only friend that is married in our ...
6
votes
1answer
3k views

How to ask a noisy housemate to be quieter?

I've lived in an apartment with my two housemates for 10 months. One housemate is not very problematic. The other, however, has become very noisy within the past few months. Ever since summer has ...
6
votes
1answer
775 views

How to tell flatmate that one of her visitors often leaves the toilet in a dirty state?

My flatmate and me are very good friends. Both me and her put a lot of emphasis on cleanliness in our whole apartment (what is suiting completely fine). For a few days her family stays here for a ...
0
votes
1answer
298 views

Band mates / roommates unwilling to share our rehearsal space and equipment

I'm a member of a band, band "A", which has played together for over a year. For the past year, band "A" has been basically the only musical project for all of the members. We just started renting a ...
4
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I tell my roommates I don't want to live with them anymore

I currently live with 3 roommates. Two of them joined last year and the other one has lived with me for 4 years. The problem is that I don't feel really comfortable living with them anymore and I want ...
5
votes
1answer
637 views

How should I tell my friend that I found room for the next school year?

Way back a few months ago I suggested to my friend that we should room together next year. I started looking at housing before the College school year ended, but I never found anything. Now it's been ...
2
votes
2answers
815 views

How to communicate with sensitive roommates accusing me of passive-aggression?

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. I really like it here, but as per previous questions there's been some conflicts regarding the rules and expectations of other roommates. I worked really ...
16
votes
7answers
8k views

Asking my new roommate for overdue payments

Before I get started, let me explain my situation: I live with two other students in a house Rent goes to the landlord individually Money for water, electricity, internet etc. goes to a bank account ...
9
votes
1answer
832 views

How to get roommate to be respectful, when communication has no effect?

I'm a college student living in a small city in the US. I am currently sharing an apartment with two other women (Jane and Mary), both in their early 20s. We each have our own bedroom but share a ...
4
votes
2answers
5k views

How to tell a roommate to stop using stuff around the apartment that does not belong to him?

So we have a problematic, new roommate, "Michael", who uses all of our stuff, when he's not supposed to be doing so. We typically have our own toilet paper, soap, dishes, paper towels, etc., and don'...
6
votes
2answers
927 views

Dishes are still dirty after my housemate “cleans” them. How to address the issue?

We all know the classic "my housemate is a slob" issue. Quite often, people get frustrated because their housemates do not clean after themselves. My issue is a little bit different, in that my ...
17
votes
3answers
22k views

How to politely tell someone that I'm not interested to talk with them at the moment?

I have this middle aged roommate who is a bit on the talkative side. He keeps talking about his life events and stuff and doesn't bother to ask anything about me. I was OK in the beginning and sort of ...
2
votes
2answers
1k views

Letting people know they don't owe me directly

I've recently been able to afford things rather easily and I also live with flatmates (who are also coworkers). We all make the same amount and share a lot of stuff. Whenever I feel like it, I just ...
9
votes
3answers
4k views

How to reply to “don't you trust me?” when asking to see bill?

I live in a shared house where the utilities are under the lease holders name (Bob). I have a written agreement with Bob where he said I can see the original bills for utilities. I don't know why, but ...
3
votes
1answer
966 views

Is it common courtesy to leave a gift behind someone's door?

My landlord always gives me a birthday gift. He is too kind I know, but he never delivers the gift by himself, instead he leaves it in the common kitchen. Sometimes he also gives us a piece of cake ...
20
votes
6answers
6k views

How to deal with someone who belittles you in social situations

I've been living with my housemate for just over 3 years (June was the 3 year mark). She's female and I'm male. We haven't had any issues living together up until her and her boyfriend broke up in ...
18
votes
5answers
4k views

How can I decline a hug without offending?

My boyfriend shares an apartment with an older man who has a physical disability which prevents him from walking. The housemate is very kind and intelligent. However, sometimes when I am alone with ...
2
votes
1answer
963 views

How to insist roommate provides me with proof of utilities bill?

I live in a shared house with several other people. One of them (call him Bob) signed the master lease with the owner and his name is on all the utilities. I pay Bob rent and my utilities. I have a ...
7
votes
1answer
449 views

How to confront roommate with an issue in sharing?

I live in a 2bed 2ba with my roommate. I cook more often than my roommate - once every day vs once a week. My roommate keeps eating my food (although not much) but never reciprocates. When he does ...
1
vote
2answers
1k views

Leaseholder suddenly increased everyone's rent, saying when he renewed lease with owner, they increased it

I live in a shared household. One person signed the lease with the owner and we pay him money for rent. He gave postdated checks to the owner. The lease recently was up for renewal and the owner ...