Questions tagged [roommates]

For questions pertaining to people who share accommodation, whether a room or a house, but without necessarily being in "a relationship."

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4
votes
0answers
449 views

Dealing with Extremely Chatty Housemates

I am a graduate student at the moment and sharing a house with undergraduate students. What I've noticed is that a lot of undergraduate students who are studying let's say relatively soft subjects ...
2
votes
2answers
988 views

Roommate nagging about cooking at night!

I am a student living in a shared big house in Canada with 4 other roommates working already. I am busy doing research during the day, usually from 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM. I have to cook at night. Apart ...
5
votes
2answers
675 views

How to respond to an obviously unfair offer in a high-stakes negotiation without offending the other side?

Background A relative of mine, whom I'll call Tania, owns the larger bedroom of a two-bedroom apartment in Moscow, Russia, while the other bedroom is owned by a guy completely unrelated to her, whom I'...
4
votes
1answer
579 views

Roommate started new job and using Skype a lot in common areas

A few months ago I moved into a new home. I share it with 2 other people. One of my roommates started a new job recently. She worked in the office the first week but told me she prefers to work from ...
2
votes
2answers
539 views

How to tell landlord I don't want him showing my room the day before and during my move

I am moving out of my home. The landlord sent me a message asking what time he can show the place on Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn't realize it right away, but Wednesday is the day I'm moving. I will ...
1
vote
1answer
574 views

How do I ask my unhygienic housemate to move out?

Some context: I was entrusted with living in and looking after my aunt's house for a number of years now, and I've been subletting a couple of the rooms to help pay the rent and bills. One of the ...
3
votes
1answer
516 views

Dealing with flatmates who do not care for cleanliness

In several shared living environments with all adults I have noticed a pattern of differing hygiene standards. I would find certain levels of uncleanliness in bathroom or kitchen unappealing, whereas ...
1
vote
1answer
274 views

How do I refuse doing something for my possibly narcissistic grandmother?

I live with my possibly narcissistic grandmother, she is about 75 years old and has progressive hearing loss. Basically, it's almost impossible to get her into therapy now, and if she is truly ...
3
votes
1answer
511 views

Asking housemate’s partners to contribute toward bills during pandemic?

I share a 5 bedroom house with 4 others. We all get on and they are nice people. As the Coronavirus spread in the UK I was put on furlough (temporary leave paid for by the government, as long as I ...
3
votes
1answer
605 views

How can I defuse this tension with my roommate so I don't feel scared to use the kitchen?

After coming home from splurging on groceries and excited to cook, my roommate told me that this living situation was no longer working for him and that I should look for housing elsewhere. He cited ...
5
votes
2answers
1k views

How to tell flatmate to not bring his friends/girlfriend over during the current epidemic?

We're both early 20's males in the UK. We both intern at the same company, and have lived together for around 8 months. Given the present situation, people are supposed to be isolating themselves as ...
3
votes
0answers
312 views

How to make a friend move out of my place [closed]

My and my flatmate's friend (also my best friend's brother) got into a heated argument with his family shortly after returning from working abroad, and decided to permanently move out from the family ...
4
votes
2answers
1k views

My autistic roommate requests plenty of hugs, but they make me uncomfortable. How do I approach this?

I have an autistic roommate - and he is incredibly smart and a genuinely good guy. However, he frequently asks me for hugs and it makes me uncomfortable, unfortunately. His hugs are very long and ...
4
votes
1answer
680 views

How to non-rudely exit or change the subject of a conversation where someone is wittering

Sometimes I find myself on the receiving end of what I call "wittering," or for lack of a better term verbal diarrhea. This is essentially where someone will start talking at length, often ...
2
votes
1answer
663 views

How can I let someone know that they say things that are triggering for me? [closed]

This roomie I have often says things that trigger me emotionally. I feel terribly introverted and don't know how to ask him not to say these things. I have been tolerating this for a couple months now ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How to explain to roommate from India if I'm with a guest it's not a good time to discuss roommate issues?

I live in a shared house in the US. Generally speaking it's very nice and the people I share it with are nice. There's a young lady from India who I noticed has very different views than I do. She ...
1
vote
1answer
332 views

How to deal with a messy flatmate? [closed]

I am living with a very messy flatmate. It is a shared living arrangement, where we both pay rent to the landlady. Few instances: Taking out trash: She never took out the trash. Initial agreement ...
4
votes
1answer
1k views

How to negotiate about drying clothes with someone from a culture who isn't used to it?

I live in a shared house. Recently someone from India moved in. Though we have an electric clothes dryer, some of my clothes are not suitable to put inside. For example, a few dress pants, swimsuit, ...
4
votes
1answer
720 views

How can I tell my two roommates separately that I’m moving out?

Some background information: I’m international and I currently live with two American humans (let’s call them A & B - I’ve known A for a while, but I don’t know B very well; they’re friends.) in ...
6
votes
1answer
2k views

How to ask a noisy housemate to be quieter?

I've lived in an apartment with my two housemates for 10 months. One housemate is not very problematic. The other, however, has become very noisy within the past few months. Ever since summer has ...
0
votes
1answer
282 views

Band mates / roommates unwilling to share our rehearsal space and equipment

I'm a member of a band, band "A", which has played together for over a year. For the past year, band "A" has been basically the only musical project for all of the members. We just started renting a ...
5
votes
1answer
631 views

How should I tell my friend that I found room for the next school year?

Way back a few months ago I suggested to my friend that we should room together next year. I started looking at housing before the College school year ended, but I never found anything. Now it's been ...
31
votes
7answers
11k views

Different budgets within roommate group

I'm a third-year student/ junior at a US university, and I'm about to move into an apartment with three friends of mine. The main reason I wanted to move was to save money, and I thought this was the ...
9
votes
1answer
821 views

How to get roommate to be respectful, when communication has no effect?

I'm a college student living in a small city in the US. I am currently sharing an apartment with two other women (Jane and Mary), both in their early 20s. We each have our own bedroom but share a ...
6
votes
2answers
890 views

Dishes are still dirty after my housemate “cleans” them. How to address the issue?

We all know the classic "my housemate is a slob" issue. Quite often, people get frustrated because their housemates do not clean after themselves. My issue is a little bit different, in that my ...
2
votes
2answers
906 views

Letting people know they don't owe me directly

I've recently been able to afford things rather easily and I also live with flatmates (who are also coworkers). We all make the same amount and share a lot of stuff. Whenever I feel like it, I just ...
9
votes
3answers
3k views

How to reply to “don't you trust me?” when asking to see bill?

I live in a shared house where the utilities are under the lease holders name (Bob). I have a written agreement with Bob where he said I can see the original bills for utilities. I don't know why, but ...
3
votes
1answer
885 views

Is it common courtesy to leave a gift behind someone's door?

My landlord always gives me a birthday gift. He is too kind I know, but he never delivers the gift by himself, instead he leaves it in the common kitchen. Sometimes he also gives us a piece of cake ...
7
votes
1answer
439 views

How to confront roommate with an issue in sharing?

I live in a 2bed 2ba with my roommate. I cook more often than my roommate - once every day vs once a week. My roommate keeps eating my food (although not much) but never reciprocates. When he does ...
2
votes
1answer
863 views

How to insist roommate provides me with proof of utilities bill?

I live in a shared house with several other people. One of them (call him Bob) signed the master lease with the owner and his name is on all the utilities. I pay Bob rent and my utilities. I have a ...
1
vote
2answers
1k views

Leaseholder suddenly increased everyone's rent, saying when he renewed lease with owner, they increased it

I live in a shared household. One person signed the lease with the owner and we pay him money for rent. He gave postdated checks to the owner. The lease recently was up for renewal and the owner ...
5
votes
2answers
822 views

Roommates go on witch hunts over petty grievances and it stresses me out

I live in a house shared with several other roommates. I find some go on witch hunts and ask loaded questions intended to get someone in trouble. For example, I've got: "Did you use this pan last?", ...
5
votes
2answers
463 views

Former housemates have left things at my house. How do I get them to take their things?

My wife and I often host various friends of ours who need a short term place to stay (e.g. a 1-2 week gap between leases). Often, when the friend moved out, they've said something like "I can't fit ...
2
votes
2answers
795 views

How to communicate with sensitive roommates accusing me of passive-aggression?

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. I really like it here, but as per previous questions there's been some conflicts regarding the rules and expectations of other roommates. I worked really ...
6
votes
2answers
792 views

How to ask primary roommate not to share key to my room with other people?

I live in a shared house and one of the roommates has the lease to the place. With is permission, I put a lock on my bedroom door. He then insisted I give him a key. I had hid a key for him to use, ...
4
votes
1answer
645 views

Leaseholder rented out storageroom and I was under impression money from it would be divided evenly

I live as a roommate in a house shared with several other people. We had agreed to let an additional person stay here for several months for $x amount of dollars (technically I never agreed to this ...
2
votes
2answers
1k views

How to get recognition for the cleaning I do?

I live in a shared house with several other roommates. One of them signed the lease with the owner, and thus has authority to kick anyone out. Call him Dylan. Another roommate, Bob, is very outspoken ...
2
votes
1answer
447 views

How to negotiate with brash roommate

I live in a dormitory in Russia with two more roommates. One of them is a nice person so we can take him out of the question. The other one is a problem, though. He moved in last September when the ...
18
votes
5answers
4k views

How can I decline a hug without offending?

My boyfriend shares an apartment with an older man who has a physical disability which prevents him from walking. The housemate is very kind and intelligent. However, sometimes when I am alone with ...
2
votes
4answers
1k views

How to say I will not be participating in the current system of sharing costs (because I don't think it's fair), when people are easily offended?

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. The house used to be a kind of community house for (where people would eat dinner together and roommates are found through the church). I'm not religious ...
2
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I set the boundaries I’m not ok with how someone is speaking to me? [closed]

I live in a shared household. I was speaking with someone, call him Bob, in the kitchen. I needed to speak with another roommate, call him Dylan, and asked Bob which room he lives in (Dylan moved in ...
7
votes
2answers
3k views

How do I talk to my housemate about bathroom hygiene?

I live in a shared house with 3 other people through my college's housing program. We have our own rooms, a common kitchen and living room, and two bathrooms (1 per two people). The person I share a ...
16
votes
3answers
2k views

Non-tech savvy roommate thinks I hacked into his computer because when he scans wifi it shows my printer connected

My roommate is a bit paranoid about security and privacy. He’s also not very good with computers. He told me he got a message that his gmail account had been compromised, and recently his laptop has ...
6
votes
1answer
768 views

How to tell flatmate that one of her visitors often leaves the toilet in a dirty state?

My flatmate and me are very good friends. Both me and her put a lot of emphasis on cleanliness in our whole apartment (what is suiting completely fine). For a few days her family stays here for a ...
8
votes
2answers
2k views

Primary roommate wants me to give him copy of key to my bedroom and I don't want to

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. Things are great. The area is good, rent is moderate, house itself is good, and I do like the people I live with. However, someone is making a request/...
0
votes
2answers
734 views

My roommate cheats at jeopardy. How do I respond? [duplicate]

Context For the past few months, my roommates and I have been watching Jeopardy when we all get home at night as a fun activity. Whenever one of us knows an answer, they try to yell it out before the ...
8
votes
1answer
894 views

How can I ask my flatmate why she's upset after I mentioned feeling like a third wheel?

A few days ago my flatmate [22, F] and me [26, M] went to a party. She was asking me which of two guys she should hook up with. It was more jokingly, at least I thought and she also told me it's just ...
4
votes
2answers
885 views

How to reply politely to someone asking too many vague questions?

I have a roommate who asks a lot of questions. Most of them are on topics that are more a matter of opinion, such as religion and politics. He is from Colombia and lots of things are new to him, but I ...