Questions tagged [roommates]

For questions pertaining to people who share accommodation, whether a room or a house, but without necessarily being in "a relationship."

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68
votes
4answers
23k views

My roommate is making me pay too much for rent. How should I confront him?

I just moved to a new city for my master studies. I met a man via a social website who is already living here and he offered to rent me his two room apartment for a year while he was studying abroad, ...
44
votes
2answers
11k views

Asking landlord to stop letting himself in the house

I live in a large house shared with several other roommates. The landlord has been letting himself in, often without a clear reason. This is illegal where I live. Sometimes I do not see him myself, ...
41
votes
10answers
17k views

How to get across to flatmates the reason behind not wanting to live with them again?

Some Background I am a 21 year old female, House mates ages: Alice is 21, Beth is 20 and Katie is 19, Obviously, the flatmates names have been changed to protect their anonymity We lived in a student ...
40
votes
9answers
19k views

How to negotiate with landlady in a shared home who flat out says “no”?

I moved into a shared home with roommates. The landlady and her husband are two of the roommates. I've been having issues with storage space. Today she was cleaning up and she was about to throw out (...
40
votes
6answers
9k views

How to establish boundaries with a roommate without confrontation?

For some context - this is my first semester in college where I'm having a roommate, and there have been several complications. It's off-campus housing and we don't attend the same university. My ...
34
votes
5answers
16k views

How to tactfully ask a housemate to leave

Background: Me and my fiancée have been living together for three years, two in our actual residence. Half a year ago we invited a friend of mine, who was coming to the city we live in to study, to ...
32
votes
3answers
8k views

How to stop an unofficial housemate from leaving cigarette ends in our plates and cups?

I'm a student, living with four other non-students, who've all recently graduated. There's one girl, let's call her Sarah, who officially doesn't live here, but effectively does; she stays around all ...
31
votes
7answers
11k views

Different budgets within roommate group

I'm a third-year student/ junior at a US university, and I'm about to move into an apartment with three friends of mine. The main reason I wanted to move was to save money, and I thought this was the ...
30
votes
11answers
9k views

Resolve conflicts with my roommates now that my parents expect my cat, which occasionally poops outside its litter box, to stay with me permanently

I've had my cat for the past 13 years and it is very important to me. The cat used to live at my parents place, as did I; I moved out two years ago. Recently, my parents took a 4-month vacation and I ...
30
votes
14answers
9k views

Apologizing to an old roommate

This happened two decades ago where one of my roommates was friendly to me. But, I was rash, rude and had a condescending attitude and never acknowledged her friendly gestures. She helped me when I ...
30
votes
4answers
4k views

How can I convince my housemate to be less wasteful?

My housemate, a good friend, is very wasteful. We knew each other pretty well before moving in together but I didn't realise quite how wasteful he is. It bothers me a lot. I don't know how to either ...
29
votes
11answers
14k views

How to deal with a friend I live with who doesn't want to pay bills when he's not there?

I have a friend; let's call him X. My girlfriend, X, and I have all lived together (on paper) for about a year and a half. About 6 months ago he got a girlfriend who lives a few hours away. For the ...
29
votes
6answers
9k views

How to deal with a suite mate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in

I am an Asian female college student. This semester, I'm placed to live with two American female roommates in an apartment suite, so we all have separate bedrooms and share a kitchen and a restroom. I ...
29
votes
3answers
9k views

How to manage an ex-flatmate who refuses any communication at all?

As I moved to Graz a couple of months ago I took a room in a shared flat with three other people. About a month after that one of them decided to leave, because she wanted to move to a friend of hers ...
27
votes
8answers
15k views

How do I politely ask my friend for a refund on unused rent?

TL;DR: I need ask for a refund without ruining a friendship. I needed to move out of my student apartment since I am not a student anymore. I did not want to move back in with my parents. My friend ...
23
votes
12answers
8k views

How to ask my partner not to postpone chores?

We've been living together for about a year. Things don't always go as well as they should due to my partner postponing chores A LOT. I on the other hand like to be organised as doing things on time ...
23
votes
6answers
6k views

How to let someone know he hurt me without spreading negative feelings

I am living in a flat with 3 other persons, 2 females and 1 male. I am a 25 year old male too. I have some romantic feelings for one of the female flatmates, Alice, but we have never spoken about it ...
20
votes
6answers
6k views

How to deal with someone who belittles you in social situations

I've been living with my housemate for just over 3 years (June was the 3 year mark). She's female and I'm male. We haven't had any issues living together up until her and her boyfriend broke up in ...
19
votes
4answers
7k views

Two friends and their wedlocked affair

I currently live in a house with 3 other people, my girlfriend Julie, and 2 friends Bob and John. Outside of our household, we have a friend named Jane, who is our only friend that is married in our ...
18
votes
5answers
4k views

How can I decline a hug without offending?

My boyfriend shares an apartment with an older man who has a physical disability which prevents him from walking. The housemate is very kind and intelligent. However, sometimes when I am alone with ...
17
votes
3answers
20k views

How to politely tell someone that I'm not interested to talk with them at the moment?

I have this middle aged roommate who is a bit on the talkative side. He keeps talking about his life events and stuff and doesn't bother to ask anything about me. I was OK in the beginning and sort of ...
16
votes
3answers
2k views

Non-tech savvy roommate thinks I hacked into his computer because when he scans wifi it shows my printer connected

My roommate is a bit paranoid about security and privacy. He’s also not very good with computers. He told me he got a message that his gmail account had been compromised, and recently his laptop has ...
16
votes
7answers
8k views

Asking my new roommate for overdue payments

Before I get started, let me explain my situation: I live with two other students in a house Rent goes to the landlord individually Money for water, electricity, internet etc. goes to a bank account ...
16
votes
2answers
14k views

How do I ask someone to be my roommate?

I am going to complete my freshman year of college this spring and I have run into a small problem. My roommate (let's call him "Jim") seems to not like the college and in all probability is going to ...
15
votes
10answers
25k views

How to politely tell my roommates that I don't want to spend time with them?

Background Information: Basically, I don't have enough time. It's an annoying problem that I guess most people share, but it still bothers me. I have so many things I want to do (books to read, ...
15
votes
4answers
3k views

How to ask my housemate to take better care of his pets?

We have three kittens (around 16 weeks old) and a bearded dragon in our household. The kittens are well fed and looked after because I look after all three of them. I have no qualms with that at all. ...
14
votes
3answers
4k views

How to ask a friend/roommate to do/to stop doing something? And how not to feel bad asking?

There are different situations where I would like to ask a friend or a roommate to do something or to stop doing something. For example, I have a roommate that sometimes doesn't wash his dishes and ...
13
votes
6answers
9k views

How to ask roommates not to use so much of common spaces for personal meetings

I live in a large shared house with with several roommates. The company that owns the house tries to rent it out to international people (however I am not international myself). Many people I live ...
13
votes
6answers
4k views

How to explain my friend that my gaming is not interfering with my life and I enjoy it?

Context I'm 26, born and since living in Barcelona, I share house with 2 other guys, lets call them Bob and John. Bob is my best friend since 7 years ago and John is a friend I knew 2 years ago ...
11
votes
5answers
10k views

How to get along with European roommates?

I am a white male engineer born in Brazil and lived also in United States and France. I usually opt to live with roommates since it is more affordable and also I like the atmosphere of a shared living....
11
votes
2answers
3k views

How do I decline a friend wanting to become roommates?

My fiancée and I are planning on moving out of our parent's house and into an apartment of our own after our wedding. During a conversation with a close mutual friend of ours, it was brought up that ...
11
votes
3answers
2k views

How to tell friend/roommate/landlord that I am looking for other places to live?

This topic is directly related to this: How to sooth relationship between roommate and my sister (who lives with us)? Tensions between my sister/dependent and our roommate have continued to get worse,...
11
votes
4answers
2k views

Roommate on my wifi

I'm living in an apartment with a roommate. When they first moved in they didn't have a router and therefore could not connect to the internet. I offered to let them connect to my wifi until they were ...
11
votes
3answers
3k views

How to avoid giving my roommate a money loan?

I live in a hostel. My roommate is very disturbing. This is because he doesn't pay back his loans on time. But he pretends to be a good person to everyone by maintaining a good appearance and smile. ...
10
votes
2answers
2k views

Roommate says she won't/can't take out trash. How to ask for compensation?

I moved into a shared home where the landlord is also one of the people living in the suite I share. After moving in she told me she can't take out the garbage or recycling. I don't know why she can't....
10
votes
3answers
2k views

How can I ask a stranger who I'd be living with if he believes in weird things?

I'm a master student (20+) that for the last 6 months has been renting a room in an older woman's (50+) house, that is we're living in the same house (just two of us). Unfortunately, I didn't have a ...
10
votes
3answers
1k views

Letting roommates know I put up with them more than they put up with me

I recently moved into a new apartment with 2 other roommates. Both of them are around 4-5 years elder to me, if not more. They do treat me as a younger colleague. I would have expected that this ...
9
votes
11answers
7k views

How should I approach a situation in which I made a female roommate uncomfortable?

I am renting a room in a large, shared house with people from all ages, ethnic backgrounds, and nationalities. I was informed by the housing manager that there had been a complaint against me by a ...
9
votes
3answers
3k views

How to reply to “don't you trust me?” when asking to see bill?

I live in a shared house where the utilities are under the lease holders name (Bob). I have a written agreement with Bob where he said I can see the original bills for utilities. I don't know why, but ...
9
votes
3answers
876 views

How to involve the law with minimizing feelings of threatening

Basically I have to give someone I live with notice I will start legal action against them. A roommate's dog will not stop barking. I told her it affects my ability to work and sleep and she said ...
9
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I tell my roommate that I feel treated unfairly by their SO?

I have a roommate I allowed to sublet with me. I have allowed their SO to move in with them. Currently I'm not receiving rent from the roommate, and that's an entirely different problem of my own ...
9
votes
3answers
3k views

How to tell my roommates that I want to move out ASAP when they say they rely on my rent?

I recently graduated from college, out of state from my hometown, and got a job here. A friend of mine and her husband offered to let me stay with them for very little rent until I could find a place ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

How to decline giving personal information until you recieved some in return

I need to move and find a new home to rent. The city I live in is having a housing crisis (as declared by the mayor). I think many landlords take advantage of this. I know that they’re just trying to ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I tell a roommate I'm not renewing his lease?

I'm currently renting a house and am subleasing rooms to three other people. I had signed a lease with the property owner, while the other tenants signed individual leases with me. One of the ...
9
votes
1answer
821 views

How to get roommate to be respectful, when communication has no effect?

I'm a college student living in a small city in the US. I am currently sharing an apartment with two other women (Jane and Mary), both in their early 20s. We each have our own bedroom but share a ...
8
votes
6answers
3k views

How to get roommates to speak same language

I live in a large shared house. I had to move out of my old home on short notice and as such my new one isn't really a good fit but I'm trying to make the best of it until I leave. The house is rented ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

Very moody gf not helping in household

My GF and I split the cost of our rent with the promise that she pays less and does the household instead. She only works 80%, I do 100%, thus we decided that I pay 60% and she 40% of the rent and she ...
8
votes
2answers
2k views

Primary roommate wants me to give him copy of key to my bedroom and I don't want to

A few months ago I moved into a shared house. Things are great. The area is good, rent is moderate, house itself is good, and I do like the people I live with. However, someone is making a request/...