Questions tagged [roommates]

For questions pertaining to people who share accommodation, whether a room or a house, but without necessarily being in "a relationship."

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19
votes
4answers
7k views

Two friends and their wedlocked affair

I currently live in a house with 3 other people, my girlfriend Julie, and 2 friends Bob and John. Outside of our household, we have a friend named Jane, who is our only friend that is married in our ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

How to decline giving personal information until you recieved some in return

I need to move and find a new home to rent. The city I live in is having a housing crisis (as declared by the mayor). I think many landlords take advantage of this. I know that they’re just trying to ...
-1
votes
1answer
284 views

Flatmate stresses me, how do I deal with him? [closed]

I have a roommate, and it seems to me that despite being friendly, he is out for his own, and will gladly use my printer and household machines. One time he tried to screw on a plastic coat hanger on ...
0
votes
1answer
597 views

How do I tell my roommate that he has a smelly feet? [duplicate]

I have a roommate that has a sweaty and smelly feet. He comes back to the room, and doesn't even bother to wash his legs before he gets on his bed. As a result, the room gets filled up by the aura and ...
27
votes
8answers
15k views

How do I politely ask my friend for a refund on unused rent?

TL;DR: I need ask for a refund without ruining a friendship. I needed to move out of my student apartment since I am not a student anymore. I did not want to move back in with my parents. My friend ...
0
votes
1answer
342 views

How can I communicate that failure to follow through on commitments bothers me?

I live with my roommate, who is not a bad person in any way. However, it so happens he has issues keeping commitments. A typical conversation: Me: Do you want to go to X place at Y time. Him: ...
3
votes
1answer
2k views

How to ask future roommate to leave room?

Next year I will be living with 3 other people in a 2-person paired dormitory on our university campus. Two I have known since high school, but the third is my current roommate, lets call him Ralph, ...
3
votes
2answers
639 views

How to tell roommate about planning to live with someone else

My girlfriend (of 4 years), whom I'll call 'Barb', is in medical school and currently lives with a friend of hers, 'Nance', who is in the same medical program. Their lease will end in a few months. ...
30
votes
14answers
9k views

Apologizing to an old roommate

This happened two decades ago where one of my roommates was friendly to me. But, I was rash, rude and had a condescending attitude and never acknowledged her friendly gestures. She helped me when I ...
3
votes
3answers
1k views

How to tell flatmate to remove her pets, since it's not allowed?

DISCLAIMER: It is not my goal to remove her pets or to find help here on how to achieve that. I am simply interested in exploring the Interpersonal aspects of this issue. I am living in a shared ...
4
votes
2answers
5k views

How to tell a roommate to stop using stuff around the apartment that does not belong to him?

So we have a problematic, new roommate, "Michael", who uses all of our stuff, when he's not supposed to be doing so. We typically have our own toilet paper, soap, dishes, paper towels, etc., and don'...
23
votes
12answers
8k views

How to ask my partner not to postpone chores?

We've been living together for about a year. Things don't always go as well as they should due to my partner postponing chores A LOT. I on the other hand like to be organised as doing things on time ...
3
votes
1answer
2k views

Planned to move into shared house but not allowed when someone alleged I made them uncomfortable (adults) [closed]

All names and numbers have been changed to preserve privacy Backgound: I am looking for a place to live. The end of the month is close. I viewed a room in a shared house, and after thinking about it, ...
32
votes
3answers
8k views

How to stop an unofficial housemate from leaving cigarette ends in our plates and cups?

I'm a student, living with four other non-students, who've all recently graduated. There's one girl, let's call her Sarah, who officially doesn't live here, but effectively does; she stays around all ...
5
votes
2answers
640 views

When looking for shared living accommodation, how to ask if room can be locked?

I'm looking for a new place to live. I would likely be living in a shared place where I don't know everyone. While I wouldn't move into a place where I didn't trust everyone, I feel much better having ...
29
votes
6answers
9k views

How to deal with a suite mate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in

I am an Asian female college student. This semester, I'm placed to live with two American female roommates in an apartment suite, so we all have separate bedrooms and share a kitchen and a restroom. I ...
4
votes
4answers
2k views

How to I tell my roomate he needs to shower more often? [duplicate]

I'm currently in college, dorming in a room with 3 other guys. A few months ago I started noticing a disgusting smell in the room. After looking around, I realized that one of my roomates, who is on ...
11
votes
3answers
2k views

How to tell friend/roommate/landlord that I am looking for other places to live?

This topic is directly related to this: How to sooth relationship between roommate and my sister (who lives with us)? Tensions between my sister/dependent and our roommate have continued to get worse,...
6
votes
4answers
3k views

How to sooth relationship between roommate and my sister (who lives with us)?

So background information. My sister, who is currently 16, has been living with me for the past couple years after some problems with our Mother arose. This past May we moved off base into a home with ...
16
votes
2answers
14k views

How do I ask someone to be my roommate?

I am going to complete my freshman year of college this spring and I have run into a small problem. My roommate (let's call him "Jim") seems to not like the college and in all probability is going to ...
11
votes
2answers
3k views

How do I decline a friend wanting to become roommates?

My fiancée and I are planning on moving out of our parent's house and into an apartment of our own after our wedding. During a conversation with a close mutual friend of ours, it was brought up that ...
5
votes
1answer
625 views

How can I set expectations with roommates/housemates a year into the arrangement, and make sure we hold each other to it?

As a small bit of background, I have lived with my boyfriend for about three years now. A year ago, my younger brother (20 at the time, 21 now) moved in with us after hitting a rough patch on his own. ...
5
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I kindly stop my friends from hanging in my room too much?

I'm living with my friends (one from primary school (so we are close, I can say anything we'll be fine)) others are his 2 friends from college. I've been living with them about 1 year (talking about 2 ...
2
votes
2answers
676 views

Housemates, setting boundaries early

Background I previously asked, How can I ask my housemate to put my things back? Someone suggested that I could have avoided ever needing to solve this problem by establishing boundaries early on. I'...
5
votes
2answers
955 views

How can I ask my housemate to put my things back?

Summary A housemate of mine is doing something to my property which I don't like. Please help me in finding a solution towards the greater issue of solving housemate disputes. Some mornings, a ...
3
votes
4answers
2k views

How to ask my female room mate to stop leaving her bikini in public space? [closed]

I am a male living in the U.S. with a female and another male. We all get along just fine, but as time has passed she has made me more and more uncomfortable; she shows signs of romantic interest in ...
29
votes
3answers
9k views

How to manage an ex-flatmate who refuses any communication at all?

As I moved to Graz a couple of months ago I took a room in a shared flat with three other people. About a month after that one of them decided to leave, because she wanted to move to a friend of hers ...
4
votes
4answers
3k views

How can I convince my roommate to switch from a wired connection to wifi? [closed]

I share a small room with my brother, and recently he got a desktop computer (he was using a laptop beforehand). The room's layout is such that my table is right next to the door, while his table is ...
30
votes
4answers
4k views

How can I convince my housemate to be less wasteful?

My housemate, a good friend, is very wasteful. We knew each other pretty well before moving in together but I didn't realise quite how wasteful he is. It bothers me a lot. I don't know how to either ...
30
votes
11answers
9k views

Resolve conflicts with my roommates now that my parents expect my cat, which occasionally poops outside its litter box, to stay with me permanently

I've had my cat for the past 13 years and it is very important to me. The cat used to live at my parents place, as did I; I moved out two years ago. Recently, my parents took a 4-month vacation and I ...
11
votes
5answers
10k views

How to get along with European roommates?

I am a white male engineer born in Brazil and lived also in United States and France. I usually opt to live with roommates since it is more affordable and also I like the atmosphere of a shared living....
5
votes
5answers
2k views

Housemate's boyfriend speak loudly at night

I live in a large shared house and it's a miracle things work as well as they do. There's one problem that's come up a few times and I'm not sure how to address it. One of my roommates has a boyfriend ...
16
votes
7answers
8k views

Asking my new roommate for overdue payments

Before I get started, let me explain my situation: I live with two other students in a house Rent goes to the landlord individually Money for water, electricity, internet etc. goes to a bank account ...
29
votes
11answers
14k views

How to deal with a friend I live with who doesn't want to pay bills when he's not there?

I have a friend; let's call him X. My girlfriend, X, and I have all lived together (on paper) for about a year and a half. About 6 months ago he got a girlfriend who lives a few hours away. For the ...
15
votes
10answers
25k views

How to politely tell my roommates that I don't want to spend time with them?

Background Information: Basically, I don't have enough time. It's an annoying problem that I guess most people share, but it still bothers me. I have so many things I want to do (books to read, ...
15
votes
4answers
3k views

How to ask my housemate to take better care of his pets?

We have three kittens (around 16 weeks old) and a bearded dragon in our household. The kittens are well fed and looked after because I look after all three of them. I have no qualms with that at all. ...
7
votes
2answers
3k views

How can I emphasise to my housemate that I'm really not interested in discussing my diet with him anymore? [duplicate]

Because we're in such close proximity and we share a kitchen, he'll see that I do things a little differently to him. (one example would be that I drink almond milk instead of cow's milk). Which it ...
9
votes
11answers
7k views

How should I approach a situation in which I made a female roommate uncomfortable?

I am renting a room in a large, shared house with people from all ages, ethnic backgrounds, and nationalities. I was informed by the housing manager that there had been a complaint against me by a ...
11
votes
3answers
3k views

How to avoid giving my roommate a money loan?

I live in a hostel. My roommate is very disturbing. This is because he doesn't pay back his loans on time. But he pretends to be a good person to everyone by maintaining a good appearance and smile. ...
14
votes
3answers
4k views

How to ask a friend/roommate to do/to stop doing something? And how not to feel bad asking?

There are different situations where I would like to ask a friend or a roommate to do something or to stop doing something. For example, I have a roommate that sometimes doesn't wash his dishes and ...
17
votes
3answers
20k views

How to politely tell someone that I'm not interested to talk with them at the moment?

I have this middle aged roommate who is a bit on the talkative side. He keeps talking about his life events and stuff and doesn't bother to ask anything about me. I was OK in the beginning and sort of ...

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