Questions tagged [rudeness]

For questions where rudeness is pertinent to any party of an encounter. The questioners own rudeness or the questioner being subject to someone else's rudeness or the questioner observing someone being rude to a third party. For question regarding how to be polite, use the "politeness" tag.

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103
votes
6answers
22k views

How do I deal with other people's screaming children in restaurants?

I want to start off by saying that I'm not referring to "family friendly" restaurants or other venues where a loud, informal atmosphere might be expected. I'm specifically asking about dining ...
88
votes
16answers
34k views

How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard?

Please note, I don't want to be mean or anything and I don't want to go "fat shaming" or things like that. Context With my SO and a couple of friends, we planned a hike for this summer. The GR20 is ...
85
votes
17answers
23k views

How do I respond when an acquaintance asks if I'm smart?

I recently graduated college and I am now working as a programmer at a startup tech company for a year. I'm a competent programmer, but I'm definitely not a rock-star. When I'm meeting other young ...
72
votes
9answers
20k views

How can I politely tell someone I won't do my job for free?

I am a relatively open individual who is shy (for lack of a better word) around new people. One of my coworkers has a business and is asking for my help as a financial analyst outside of work, and ...
68
votes
17answers
22k views

Is it rude to drive at the speed limit on dangerous roads when another driver wants to go faster? [closed]

Each day, I drive through a heavily wooded area in a nature reservation (in the United States). The roads have many twists, turns and hills, and the speed limit is 25 miles per hour. Cars going much ...
63
votes
9answers
19k views

How to make clear to people I don't want to answer their “Where are you from?” question?

I live in the UK but am not originally from here, having moved in the last decade. Quite often when I talk to people I get asked where I'm from. It usually seems to be in response to my accent, as I'...
59
votes
13answers
15k views

How to approach my spouse about their weight gain?

My spouse is and has always been quite overweight. From the beginning it was no problem for me, I just don't mind. Yet, since we've been living together, my spouse somehow put on a lot of weight (...
59
votes
11answers
19k views

Should I monetarily reward the person who found my phone? [closed]

I just lost my mobile phone in the bus on my way to work (left it on the seat). I called from another phone, and someone answered me, telling me that indeed I had left my phone in the bus seat. We are ...
56
votes
18answers
14k views

How do you deal with someone who's pushing you without explaining yourself?

There are certain people, especially family members you see from time to time or other close relatives, who simply don't know where to stop when offering you something. Usually it's about drinking ...
55
votes
14answers
10k views

How do you deal with colleagues and people around you constantly passing judgement on you for not knowing something?

I'm unique in a lot of ways. I don't like sports, I'm not in touch with the current affairs, I don't have any opinion on most things and I don't know about most of the things that people talk about. ...
51
votes
5answers
13k views

How to deal with disruptive people in the cinema

In my last two cinema trips I have had disruptive people in the cinema. One was a group of 4-5 early 20s men, one of whom in particular was talking very loudly. I stared at him until he looked back ...
46
votes
12answers
20k views

Is it rude to ask if a pregnancy was planned? [closed]

When someone tells you that they (or their partner) are pregnant, is it rude or impolite to ask if the pregnancy was planned? I imagine it depends on how close one is to the couple or one of the (...
46
votes
16answers
14k views

How to explain to coworkers that being vegan does not mean I know everything about it?

The other day, I was in a company meal with ~20 coworkers and someone offered me wine before adding: "At least you know this is vegan." (because I'm vegan). I don't like alcohol so I politely refused ...
46
votes
3answers
14k views

How to tell boss about pregnancy?

I am about 22 weeks pregnant and it's getting to the point where it's hard to hide! I haven't told my boss or any coworkers yet. I have a doctors note saying the due date etc. I'm a bit of a wimp ...
46
votes
12answers
5k views

How do I politely end a cold call I've received?

I've kept my phone numbers out of the public domain now, as I really do not like being cold called by businesses or charities. I have found that I used to try and be polite, but then the person ...
46
votes
10answers
15k views

How to tell your grandparent to not come to fetch you with their car?

I often come to visit my grandparents during the weekend and they will always come to fetch me at the train station in their car. However, my grandpa (who is the one driving) is old and his vision ...
35
votes
8answers
9k views

How to peacefuly deal with a loud religious group

This problem mostly has to do with me and my family against another religious group. About a month ago a Pentecostal "church" opened about a mile from our house. We live in Uganda, a very ...
34
votes
7answers
4k views

How to helpfully react to a male coworker's sexual comment about a woman

I'm a 29 year old male. Sometimes find myself in a situation with a male coworker who I've just met, or a male stranger who I'm talking with (at a bus stop, for example), and they make a comment about ...
33
votes
5answers
9k views

How do I continue to be quiet without being rude?

I'm a man of few words, very introverted, and prefer to work in silence where possible (my own silence, music is a must have but I normally wear headphones to avoid bothering others). It's not that I ...
29
votes
5answers
9k views

How to deal with a suite mate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in

I am an Asian female college student. This semester, I'm placed to live with two American female roommates in an apartment suite, so we all have separate bedrooms and share a kitchen and a restroom. I ...
24
votes
5answers
8k views

How to speak to my friend who's rude to bus drivers?

I have a friend at work who I often get the bus with. When he gets off the bus at our stop, he never says a word to the driver. I think this would be considered rude (we're British) and I'm actually ...
24
votes
3answers
7k views

Sick grandparent(s) moved in and are now inciting anger and stress

We're a family of three, my mom, my dad and I. My dad's father has recently been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and, based on what we know so far, there's no chance for a recovery and not much life is ...
24
votes
8answers
6k views

Is it rude to use a driveway to turn around in the road?

In Australia when I want to turn around in a street I sometimes use the driveway of private houses to turn in and then then back out again and go the reverse direction on the road. When I go in I don'...
21
votes
4answers
8k views

Is it rude to ignore everybody else in a chatroom and only talk with one person? [closed]

I've been a member of an online community that's mostly aimed at kids - although we've got members aged 8 to in their 20s - for almost four years now. There's a live chat available (with some pretty ...
21
votes
6answers
7k views

How to get a close relative to stop disrespecting LGBT people in random conversations without starting any argument/fight?

I have a close immediate relative who has a habit of making derogatory/sarcastic/rude remark about LGBT people. He doesn't say this to their face but behind their back or makes remarks about LGBT ...
20
votes
3answers
9k views

How to tell someone that they are eating with their mouth open?

I'm from France and I've been educated with "eating manners" I consider "normal" (chew with your mouth closed, don't put your elbows on the table, wait until everyone is served before starting to eat.....
18
votes
5answers
9k views

How to stop constantly correcting everyone and everything?

I'm 23. All of my life, I've had a strange need to correct things. It doesn't matter how pointless, mundane, or unimportant something is; I need to correct it. And this isn't a simple habit. If I ...
17
votes
3answers
4k views

How to tell a friend to stop being rude and an attention seeker?

I have a friend, Let's call him "Jack" and the problem I have is that ever since he has started watching some YouTubers, he has now wanted to act like them. If I was to walk down in street he will ...
17
votes
3answers
7k views

How to respond to a joke insult that was unintentionally really offensive?

As friends you often throw (what you believe to be) harmless insults at each other, nothing meant to hurt each other's feelings just something to get a laugh out of each other. Typically when my ...
17
votes
8answers
1k views

How do I deal with snarky comments about self-help/motivational books?

Self-help books have helped me a lot. Now, I've run into a lot of stinkers, but when one works, it works. But I realize I keep them all pretty close to the vest. People do like to make fun of self-...
16
votes
3answers
5k views

How to disassociate with an obnoxious, arrogant, selfish friend

I'm from England. When I first moved to a foreign, non-English-speaking, country (France), it was difficult for me to make friends, I had to deal with the language barrier and culture shock. Luckily, ...
16
votes
3answers
646 views

Is it rude to post on an English site when my English needs a lot of improvement? [closed]

I've been learning English on the internet for many years, but it is still very difficult to understand me sometimes. I know that using English daily is best, and especially on Stack Overflow. I've ...
14
votes
9answers
6k views

Is it rude to ask how much a new neighbour paid for their apartment? [closed]

TLDR; Is it rude to ask how much a new neighbour paid for their apartment? My view is that it isn't, because it's information that's probably their favourite topic of conversation right now, and also ...
14
votes
3answers
7k views

How To Respond to Rude Cashier? [closed]

Once in a while I get coffee from a nearby shop. Lot of times, the ladies at the counter are rude; especially to me, because I look like a soft target. Really, I am not confrontational unless I am at ...
14
votes
2answers
7k views

How do I prevent the gym instructor from talking to me?

In the gym I go to, we don't have personal trainers but gym instructors - they just stay there and guide pretty much everyone if they have doubts or they see someone exercising incorrectly. From what ...
13
votes
2answers
2k views

Saying “No” to someone who refuses to let up

I had an incident yesterday where it was late at night and an acquaintance/friend called me to come over to help him with a non-emergency urgent matter, so I told him I would love to help him, but it'...
12
votes
6answers
4k views

Is it rude to answer someone's question before they finish the question?

Some people can be a bit predictable and longwinded and it's very easy to guess what they will say, it's like playing chess and guessing a few moves ahead. It happens often that a person only ...
12
votes
3answers
836 views

Is it rude to ask a Lyft driver if I can play an audiobook? [closed]

My daughter and I have been listening to an exciting audiobook while driving (How to Train Your Dragon). I had to take my car in for repairs, so I plan to pick her up from camp via Lyft (a competitor ...
10
votes
1answer
953 views

How to approach a person that does not respond to me after I was potentially rude to them?

I am an 18-year-old German, I live in a small (~100 citizens) town neighboring a somewhat bigger (~2000 citizens) town. We have our own small local fire-station but we do not do regular training. To ...
10
votes
3answers
972 views

How to sensitively let a neighbour know that they can be heard?

How can someone let their neighbour know that the adjoining properties are not as "soundproof" as they might suppose? This in context is about terraced housing (UK usage) or row housing (US usage). ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

How to make an adult aware that commenting on their rude behaviour is not necessarily bullying?

Among a circle of friends (mostly in our mid-to-late 20s), one of us is called 'Hugh'. We have been friends for several years without any falling-outs. Whether it is only the two of us meeting or in a ...
9
votes
2answers
592 views

How to ask the teacher questions without my friends thinking I'm rude or boastful?

I like to ask questions during class. And I like to clarify them, and sometimes "challenge" the teacher's answer or argue/discuss further. But when I do it in class, I have to raise my voice so that ...
8
votes
3answers
2k views

Problem on a seniors only web site [closed]

I have recently joined a seniors only web site. Most people there are decent, rational people. Unfortunately, however there are 5 or 6 who are constantly in attack mode and they always make snide anti-...
8
votes
3answers
2k views

How to react to clerks mocking me in the grocery store? [closed]

It was a time when I was struggling with my OCD, and as this felt like enough trouble, I lightheartedly let go of social norms. I wore my hair mid-length (under a baseball hat; I am male), as the ...
8
votes
3answers
3k views

How can I explain to someone that they are not being bullied, that instead he is bullying?

Names in this question are not actual names, not even online pseudonyms. I am the leader of a mediumsized online gaming community (about 50 active members). Alice and Bob assist me in running this ...
8
votes
2answers
2k views

I do art. When people say “draw me”, do I include their physical appearance flaws? [closed]

So I draw little caricature-doodles for fun and am decently good at it. Sometimes people ask me (very casually, not for pay or anything) to draw them. What if this person is overweight or has an ...
8
votes
1answer
3k views

Is it bad that I called someone who (kind of) works above me, “buddy”? [closed]

Background I'm an intern at a corporation (3/10 months in), and work directly for the manager of the department (I.T.). I do good work and my boss definitely likes (tolerates) me.. I'm nearing 30 ...
8
votes
1answer
890 views

How do I let someone from a different culture know that they are doing something rude?

I'm a client paying for my take-out at a small authentic restaurant and quite pregnant. The female asian clerk is laying it on thick with: "Are you sure there is just one in there? = Yup! Just ...
8
votes
1answer
462 views

How to finish a project with a dishonest and unreliable partner without jeopardizing it

Context: I just completed a 2-month long science research project with my friend as a partner. The project was elective and beyond our assigned coursework. We presented the work at a fair last week ...
7
votes
4answers
2k views

How to approach incredibly rude persons on a train

Last weekend, I took the last train home. It was small (only one wagon), some people were drunk, which was okay, as they kept to themselves. I started listening to an audiobook and drifted off to ...