Questions tagged [saying-no]

Questions about how best to approach saying "no", or declining requests. Please explain in your question why just saying "no" is not sufficient.

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20
votes
4answers
7k views

How do I politely turn down requests to show wedding photos?

I got married recently and have changed my name at work. People have noticed and are now asking for wedding photos. How do I tell them politely that no, I'm not going to show them? Lying and saying I ...
6
votes
1answer
415 views

How do I tell my PhD supervisor I want to drop out?

I am going to start my PhD degree this week and I realised that, for personal and professional reasons, I don't want to do it. Personal reasons: I live in a foreign country and I don't like living ...
3
votes
1answer
398 views

When hosting a gathering, how to decline to answer the question “who else is coming”?

I'm having a celebration soon. I invited some guests from different friends groups. Some are asking, "Who's coming?" I actually find this question a bit annoying because it's like their ...
34
votes
4answers
6k views

How can I politely decline to guide a student?

I am a lecturer in a department in which undergraduate students have to do a final-year project guided (= supervised) by a faculty member. Faculty members do not have to guide students: those who do, ...
2
votes
2answers
534 views

How to tell landlord I don't want him showing my room the day before and during my move

I am moving out of my home. The landlord sent me a message asking what time he can show the place on Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn't realize it right away, but Wednesday is the day I'm moving. I will ...
6
votes
2answers
683 views

How do I balance saying no and being liked?

I often find myself in the following situation: a friend from work asks to borrow an object, such as a book or my bike or a piece of jewelry they might have seen me wear or money, to pay for food if ...
5
votes
3answers
507 views

How can I refuse to kiss my mother while minimizing the hurt feelings?

Note: this has nothing to do with the current pandemic. I don't like physical contact, especially kisses and especially when I don't fully trust the person touching me. Also, my current relationship ...
6
votes
2answers
465 views

How to politely reject classmates that are constantly asking for my help? [duplicate]

I am in a situation where I am overwhelmed by school mates constantly asking for my help for their assignments and tests. (They have been doing this since grade 10!) And this has resulted in serious ...
11
votes
3answers
1k views

Refusing to let people in

I work in a facility where it is open to the public except for a small section. I work in this section and this section requires an access card when entering the door (anyone can buy one, but it is ...
2
votes
1answer
714 views

How to tell our mutual friend that we wouldn't like to spend one of our days with her on our four day trip

Background I am in a relationship with this girl who came to do her master's degree to my university for one year. We met in the Russian society and hence have mutual acquaintances from there. Since ...
1
vote
0answers
114 views

How to avoid telling people about my job? [duplicate]

New people who I meet always ask what I do for work. This question is normal and polite to ask, but I don't always want to tell people what I do for the following reasons: My job is unusual, which ...
10
votes
2answers
815 views

How to politely get rid of someone soliciting donations at your door?

When people come to the door asking for donations how do you politely end the conversation and close the door? Some of the causes are very worthy but I don't have the money. I had jobs before where ...
3
votes
2answers
485 views

How do I politely tell people in public I won't give out my e-mail? [closed]

I noticed recently when I'm checking out at the store, the cashier will ask for my email address, so that the store can send me flyers, coupons, and promotions. In other words, junk. What I've tried:...
0
votes
1answer
847 views

How to say 'NO', When someone offer you better opportunity with better salary?

I am a professional Magento Developer, and I have completed my one year and continue my next one year bond. When someone offers you a better opportunity with a better salary but you have to continue ...
9
votes
1answer
791 views

How to gently ask my neighbor not to use my bins for their waste?

In the past months, there were several occasions when I found foreign waste in my personal bins. I cannot say, that was my neighbor for sure as I never saw anyone. But the waste type and content made ...
3
votes
1answer
1k views

How to say in a courteous but implicit way you are not interested to date?

I have a lady that I've dated once. Since that date, we did not have many interactions except some text messages as she is a MD and my mum has some health issues and we are discussing, from time to ...
3
votes
1answer
411 views

How to convey to parents and friends that I want to change my job? [closed]

My parents work for an amazing charity which does a lot of good work. Giving out to people is something they strongly believe in. They encouraged me to also work for the charity after I left school ...
7
votes
1answer
690 views

Asking for fees for an assumed free service

During my university years, I had designed and developed my department website. It's been many years since I graduated, however, the office IT staff still contacts me if something goes wrong. This ...
6
votes
5answers
1k views

How can I tell a friend about a future trip without upsetting another friend, who wants me to hold the truth about it?

Soon, I'll be going on a trip for one weekend; "Friend B", who is planning this trip, wants to exclude "Friend A" who will likely ask me sometime during the trip what I'm up to. "Friend B" reiterated ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

Friend is using me to do her (home)work, how can I tell her I want this to stop?

I am a middle school student and I like to think I am a smart person. Typically people ask me to help them figure out problems; but there is one person I am having some trouble with. She sits next to ...
13
votes
1answer
1k views

How to handle my ex touching me against my wishes when he is visiting our daughter?

I left my daughter's father during the pregnancy because we were having many issues and things with him were not changing. It's been a year since I moved back to my mom's and left him, and my daughter ...
25
votes
5answers
7k views

How to convey to the people around me that I want to disengage myself from constant giving?

Once I’ve paid rent, bills, petrol, food, etc. I have a relatively small amount of money left over each month. I would get by just fine on this, if it wasn’t for spending the money on other people. A ...
8
votes
1answer
907 views

Tactfully avoiding sharing food with a friend

Note: one of my best friends is in this situation with her friends, so I'm asking this question for her (from her perspective). I have a friend, Alice, who I was very close with in college. We'd ...
3
votes
0answers
334 views

How to stop paying for my parent's poor financial decisions? [closed]

One of my parents decided to pay for and renovate an old house with all of their remaining money (inherited, not saved by them). When this decision was made, I warned them that I thought it was a bad ...
12
votes
4answers
2k views

How to tell my mother not to visit?

I left my mother's home to live on my own 8,5 years ago. Since then, no one in my family has visited me once. Some years ago, my mother even dismissed my idea to visit me when I suggested to do so, I ...
26
votes
3answers
7k views

How to gently end involvement with an online community?

Since 2011 I'm a member of an online community for Animal Crossing players. Sadly many things are changing in gaming world and many of these changes combined with new interests which I have found in ...
57
votes
7answers
15k views

How to dismiss intrusive questions from a colleague with whom I don't work?

I have a colleague of mine at work. He's just my peer, not my boss or a higher rank, I do not report to him in any way. When I'm late for work (for different, sometimes very personal reasons), he ...
11
votes
1answer
1k views

How to tell a friend I don't want his help with miniature painting?

I have a friend with which we share a hobby, miniature painting. We both purchase what we need and sometimes get together to paint for the sake of just hanging out. The miniatures I purchase suit a ...
6
votes
1answer
512 views

How do you politely respond to people who ask too many obvious questions?

I really like helping people and I don't mind helping others with work and assignments etc. However, there are a few people who will take it very far and I've come across this a few times. For ...
3
votes
1answer
1k views

How to deal with new awkward sport partner without hurting his feelings?

I recently posted on a facebook page to find a partner to practice my favorite sport. Nothing romantic, I already have a boyfriend, I just want to practice my sport. Some guy (random stranger) agreed ...
4
votes
2answers
1k views

Declining a date invitation from a friend while minimizing the hurt feelings?

When I was in middle school (around 14 years old), I was friends with a boy (who was outside of my regular "friend group") and so, some friends of mine decided to hook me up with this person....
12
votes
1answer
900 views

How to communicate to my spouse I can't stand unexpected touch without hurting their feelings?

TL;DR I've recently learned about my autism and still need to understand what it means. I have struggle being touched when I don't expect it and it hurts my spouse when I already tried to explain to ...
2
votes
0answers
242 views

How can I refuse a dinner with my relatives? [closed]

I have never been close to one of my relatives. The only living thing I like is my dog. We are having dinner tomorrow with a bunch of relatives and friends. My dad will pick me up at 7 pm but I don'...
11
votes
2answers
894 views

Needy friend uses me to avoid his parents, how do I tell him no?

Background I have a friend whom I have been very close with for a long time. A few years ago, when we were in high school, he came out to me and told me that he did not want to tell his parents, as ...
3
votes
0answers
252 views

Telling a friend I normally hangout with on a holiday, I don't want to this time [closed]

A national holiday is coming up :) I have a friend (call him Joe) I normally hangout with on this holiday. I also see him on a regular basis. This time I would like to hangout with a different group ...
6
votes
1answer
534 views

Helping my mom accept that I can't be available as much as she wants

My mom moved to the same city as my wife and I about 5 years ago. It's always been a bit rocky, but there is probably one theme that comes up the most regularly. To put it simply, her expectations ...
4
votes
1answer
975 views

How can I tactfully refuse to tell my loving brother my home address?

I'm chummy and cozy with my brother, but he has very loose lips and can't keep secrets - peradventure because he has genetic disorders? Of course my door is always open to him! Rather, my parents are ...
6
votes
2answers
907 views

How to ask someone to not try to fix your issues

Sometimes, you talk to someone about a problem you are facing and what you want them to say is something like: Oh yeah, that sucks. However, the person might not get the hint and well instead tell ...
6
votes
1answer
551 views

How do I politely refuse doing a favor for a friend?

I have a friend who doesn't speak English very well. She once asked me to help her with a small text that had just about two paragraphs and I helped her, correcting the mistakes that she made. After ...
14
votes
2answers
2k views

How to tell my ex not to expect sex

I'm a 25 year old man living in France. Last year I dated a 30 year old woman in the US, and kept things really casual (I knew she wanted to be more than dating but it was not reciprocal). Now she is ...
53
votes
3answers
9k views

How to decline physical affection from a child whose parents are pressuring them?

My Situation I am an uncle to 6 nieces and nephews. I live about 1000 miles away from the rest of my family, so I only see them 2-3 times each year. When it comes time to say goodbye, it is common ...
4
votes
2answers
2k views

How do I effectively explain to my boss that I don't want to wear a t-shirt for our office video shoot?

I work in a tiny startup, digital marketing agency in India. I've always lived a very simple life. My way of life style is still very much influenced by the way it was in my childhood. The thing is, ...
1
vote
1answer
648 views

Someone else using my cooler without my permission

This might be very intuitive for someone to suggest me to ask him to put it back. But please hold on. I live in a hostel and changed room to the next room which had a cooler already (owned by my new ...
10
votes
1answer
1k views

How can I avoid lending my bike?

There's this kid I've been riding with for quite some time that keeps borrowing my bike non-stop leaving me riding his broken bike. Not that I dislike him riding my bike or anything, is just that ...
4
votes
1answer
441 views

How to politely turn down an offer from someone to join a pyramid scheme? [duplicate]

My girlfriend and I went out to eat with an acquaintance of hers and his wife. They were really nice people, but at the end of the dinner date, they brought up a known pyramid scheme that they're a ...
4
votes
1answer
539 views

Politely declining a request to use my railway card to get a ticket when the person has to stand in the queue

Background: I'm from India. In our railways, we have multiple ways of booking tickets, one of them being the regular way (stand in the queue) and the other, a card which lets you get your ticket ...
5
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I get a classmate who is creepy to leave me alone? [closed]

My classmate and 'friend' is really starting to creep me out. It was obvious that he liked me and did weird stuff earlier this year, but I just shrugged it off. Now I’m starting to get creeped out. He ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

How to say no to a family member who wants to drive the car

I am a very introverted kind of person and don't argue with others. Sometimes it feels like some people just do not know how and where to stop with me. I have a car and there are some people in my ...
9
votes
2answers
680 views

How to stop someone from helping you?

Today, I had some difficulties with an Excel function so, after a meeting, I asked two of my coworkers if they knew how to solve my issue (since I thought it was an easy problem and they have more ...
7
votes
2answers
546 views

How to tell friends that I don't want them in my team?

This question relates to my football (soccer) team. Last year my team competed in a football tournament, we did okay but we didn't achieve our goal of winning the tournament. This year, I want to ...