Questions tagged [saying-no]

Questions about how best to approach saying "no", or declining requests. Please explain in your question why just saying "no" is not sufficient.

1
vote
1answer
324 views

How can I tactfully avoid telling my loving brother my home address?

I'm chummy and cozy with my brother, but he has very loose lips and can't keep secrets - peradventure because he has genetic disorders? Of course my door is always open to him! Rather, the pickle is ...
0
votes
0answers
135 views

Dealing with a narcissist who offers a lot of unsolicited advice to people out of his league [on hold]

Some brief backstory: Maybe I'm the issue. So, I have a friend who has a severe god complex and has gotten into this habit of thinking everyone else as a fool and condescends in very discrete ways. I, ...
6
votes
2answers
406 views

How to ask someone to not try to fix your issues

Sometimes, you talk to someone about a problem you are facing and what you want them to say is something like: Oh yeah, that sucks. However, the person might not get the hint and well instead tell ...
6
votes
1answer
394 views

How do I politely refuse doing a favor for a friend?

I have a friend who doesn't speak English very well. She once asked me to help her with a small text that had just about two paragraphs and I helped her, correcting the mistakes that she made. After ...
12
votes
2answers
1k views

How to tell my ex not to expect sex

I'm a 25 year old man living in France. Last year I dated a 30 year old woman in the US, and kept things really casual (I knew she wanted to be more than dating but it was not reciprocal). Now she is ...
51
votes
3answers
9k views

How to decline physical affection from a child whose parents are pressuring them?

My Situation I am an uncle to 6 nieces and nephews. I live about 1000 miles away from the rest of my family, so I only see them 2-3 times each year. When it comes time to say goodbye, it is common ...
3
votes
2answers
2k views

How do I effectively explain to my boss that I don't want to wear a t-shirt for our office video shoot?

I work in a tiny startup, digital marketing agency in India. I've always lived a very simple life. My way of life style is still very much influenced by the way it was in my childhood. The thing is, ...
1
vote
1answer
554 views

Someone else using my cooler without my permission

This might be very intuitive for someone to suggest me to ask him to put it back. But please hold on. I live in a hostel and changed room to the next room which had a cooler already (owned by my new ...
6
votes
0answers
770 views

How can I avoid lending my bike?

There's this kid I've been riding with for quite some time that keeps borrowing my bike non-stop leaving me riding his broken bike. Not that I dislike him riding my bike or anything, is just that ...
4
votes
1answer
359 views

How to politely turn down an offer from someone to join a pyramid scheme? [duplicate]

My girlfriend and I went out to eat with an acquaintance of hers and his wife. They were really nice people, but at the end of the dinner date, they brought up a known pyramid scheme that they're a ...
4
votes
1answer
492 views

Politely declining a request to use my railway card to get a ticket when the person has to stand in the queue

Background: I'm from India. In our railways, we have multiple ways of booking tickets, one of them being the regular way (stand in the queue) and the other, a card which lets you get your ticket ...
5
votes
2answers
685 views

How do I get a classmate who is creepy to leave me alone? [closed]

My classmate and 'friend' is really starting to creep me out. It was obvious that he liked me and did weird stuff earlier this year, but I just shrugged it off. Now I’m starting to get creeped out. He ...
8
votes
1answer
757 views

How to say no to a family member who wants to drive the car

I am a very introverted kind of person and don't argue with others. Sometimes it feels like some people just do not know how and where to stop with me. I have a car and there are some people in my ...
7
votes
2answers
588 views

How to stop someone from helping you?

Today, I had some difficulties with an Excel function so, after a meeting, I asked two of my coworkers if they knew how to solve my issue (since I thought it was an easy problem and they have more ...
6
votes
2answers
514 views

How to tell friends that I don't want them in my team?

This question relates to my football (soccer) team. Last year my team competed in a football tournament, we did okay but we didn't achieve our goal of winning the tournament. This year, I want to ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

How to avoid being kissed by someone with braces?

Situation I have recently found myself in a position where someone I am attracted to has tried to kiss me. The only problem I really have with this— their braces. I quickly brushed them off before ...
18
votes
5answers
1k views

How can I decline a hug without offending?

My boyfriend shares an apartment with an older man who has a physical disability which prevents him from walking. The housemate is very kind and intelligent. However, sometimes when I am alone with ...
10
votes
3answers
888 views

Foreign Friend wants me to go to the hospital with him in order to translate

We are in Japan, and one of my British friends got neck pain and needs to go to the hospital. The injury occurred a few month ago and recently he asked me to go to the hospital with him. First he went ...
7
votes
1answer
847 views

How do I tell my friend that I don't want to go to her church without hurting her feelings

My friend invited me to her church and I went to the Sunday service. However, I didn't really enjoy the way the pastor communicated his ideas with us and he repeated a lot of the same things over and ...
2
votes
2answers
682 views

How can I politely decline when someone asks to use my camera on my phone?

So occasionally someone will ask to use my phone just to use my camera. The last time this happened it was at work, but it can be a friend or relative that just needs a quick picture of something. ...
8
votes
5answers
814 views

How to tell a friend I don't want to continue giving him advice?

A friend of mine, who was one year behind in college and in the same graduate program, will soon graduate and is in the look out for a job. This friend has being asking me for advice (I'm very well ...
2
votes
2answers
356 views

how to say no to a recurring request from my managers and team members [closed]

So I've been living in another country for 10 years, and I've been working with a client for about 2 years, and about 6 months ago I made a mistake, I agreed to prepare a drink from my home country ...
3
votes
2answers
795 views

How to say NO to a family member request about taking care of her child?

Background I have this family member, my cousin, who lives 30 minutes ride away from me. She has a full-time job and her mother takes care of her 6-year-old child during the day, while she is at work....
5
votes
2answers
450 views

How to ask my neighbor who joined my sport club to play with other beginners?

I have been playing badminton doubles in a club for 2 years. I always play a good game and give a tough time to the players who were playing against me. In total we are 15 players in the club. We all ...
6
votes
3answers
779 views

How to ask someone to stop addressing me with a certain form of endearment

I have a friend whose family I also know. Her mother likes me, and addresses me as her "(my ethnicity) daughter", or herself as my "(her ethnicity) mother" as a form of endearment. I live in a Western,...
1
vote
3answers
921 views

How to tell to my mother that I don’t want to do certain things she requests me to do?

Context I’m 19 years old in Bucharest, Romania in high school at grade 12. Since I’ve been gifted with an iPhone, I kinda liked staying on my new phone. But, I couldn’t control myself. Now my parents ...
74
votes
11answers
23k views

How do I tell students at a school I volunteer at to stop flirting with me?

Occasionally, I head out to volunteer to teach robotics programming at an all-girls school in my area. For context, I'm male and age 20, and the students are adolescent females in 7th and 8th grade (...
8
votes
6answers
942 views

How to decline additional help when friend won't take no for an answer

A friend of mine has a business idea. He asked if I knew how to make (smartphone) apps, and I said yes. I recently graduated and currently have some spare time for a side project and could see this ...
4
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I say “No” to a best friend asking for Marriage?

TL;DR My one childhood friend asking me for marriage. He is my very good friend. I want to say him 'No' for marriage. Background Few months before, I have seen a guy on Facebook in recommended ...
-2
votes
1answer
500 views

How can I ask all my classmates to do as I want to do? [closed]

I’m asking this because, now I’m Romania, our high school principal made those who are grade 12 to start class from 8-9AM. My major problem is when it comes for me to wake up on 8:00AM, so I end up ...
74
votes
12answers
24k views

Asking a coworker to discontinue his chivalrous acts towards me?

I've made a friend, Bob, in my workplace who is too much of a gentleman for my comfort level. Initially, we became fast friends due to our shared interests and political beliefs. We often message ...
3
votes
1answer
389 views

How to tell acquaintance that I don't endorse his reckless habits?

For two years, we have been renting out part of our house to a family who we were introduced to through church. Our family is no longer part of said church, but we are still on friendly terms due to ...
53
votes
11answers
14k views

How to say no to an extremely pushy friend

My friend, which is also my coworker, likes to organise events for his friends. He invites a lot of people, but always expects everyone to join him regardless of if they have already planned something ...
6
votes
6answers
984 views

How do I tell my boss that I cannot learn the way he wants me to? [closed]

I'm currently in a new area of the business in what is somewhat a career change (from support to development). I have been in this position for just over a year now, and when I started my boss wanted ...
78
votes
14answers
20k views

How can I stress to my brother the importance of saving when he relies on me as a safety net?

My younger brother has a wife and two daughters and has habit of spending money. For example, he likes going to movies often, eating out often, and buying name brand clothes. I also have a wife and ...
10
votes
5answers
1k views

How to deal with a boss that privately texts an (uninterested) coworker

At the annual summer party of our company I have introduced a friend and colleague of mine to my supervisor. My colleague is from another department at another office and we have known each other some ...
2
votes
2answers
1k views

How should I approach my crush if she's not interested? [closed]

TL;DR: There's this girl I really like, who is apparently not interested in me, since I've already made a move on her without any luck. Nevertheless, I've decided not to give up and make one more ...
40
votes
13answers
11k views

How to decline a job offer from a previous employer, without burning bridges?

A little over a year ago I changed my job. Now my previous employer (a small startup) has contacted me asking what it would take for me to come back. While the place was not at all bad and I left on ...
10
votes
1answer
2k views

How to ask co-rider to share price for fuel?

I am talking about a close family friend - We travel daily on the same route almost during the same time, the other person has to travel about 8 kilometers more than me. So we decided to share the ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

Helping my cousin reject advances from a classmate

I have a cousin who is younger to me and she seemed a bit disturbed over the fact that a guy in her class had confessed his feelings for her. But she exactly doesn't feel the same for him. I was ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How do I say no to a person seeking friendship that doesn't understand internet etiquette?

I posted a message in a very large Facebook group (~75,000 members) asking for specific information to help me in my internship. One person that speaks Spanish messaged me and asked me to be his ...
13
votes
4answers
2k views

How to calmly respond to friendly peer-pressure when it's a major pet-peeve?

Every so often I find myself in a situation where a friend or coworker asks if I want to do something social, and I don't want to for some non-committal reasons. By "non-committal" reasons, I'm ...
4
votes
2answers
610 views

Roommates complained to landlord before talking to me

I moved homes a few months ago. I’m living with roommates: 1 couple and the landlady. I’m not sure if the landlady is currently living in the home as I haven’t seen her for several weeks. This ...
7
votes
1answer
372 views

How to deal with friends or acquaintances requests to do their big idea projects?

I'm someone who always has a lot of projects going - inventions, car resto-mods, home repair, programming, etc. Inevitably a proportion of the people I meet see this as an opportunity to get someone ...
6
votes
6answers
1k views

How do I politely say no to a stranger asking to use my phone to make a personal call?

TL;DR A stranger approached me and asked me if they could use my phone. I didn't want to be rude and say no bluntly, so I wavered, and felt uncomfortable. How do I say no to strangers asking for use ...
42
votes
5answers
11k views

How can I help a close friend get over me?

I have this friend, I could easily call her my best friend. We see each other at least twice a week usually, have travelled together etc. About 6 months ago she confessed that she has feelings for me, ...
12
votes
3answers
1k views

Declining to do exercises I think are unsafe without making a scene

I am part of a running group that meets every week. The running group is part of a large store, but is actually free (I think they do this for publicity and in hopes of people would buy things from ...
23
votes
4answers
3k views

How can I decline to help my teacher with their personal IT problem?

Background Note: Certain details have been changed for privacy's sake. I am the go-to person for tech help for my friends (and enemies), family, and teachers. I have helped everyone I know with ...
39
votes
5answers
13k views

How do I reject helping my neighbour who constantly asks me for little favours?

My neighbour is constantly asking me for little favours, which is super obnoxious. She regularly asks me to maintain her smartphone as she has no clue what to do with a smartphone and keeps ...
10
votes
1answer
632 views

How to tactfully turn down demands from a demanding friend?

I have a deaf-blind friend, and she is very sweet. Because she is deaf and blind, there are many restrictions on what she can and can't do, and she has a mitochondrial condition that causes her ...