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Questions tagged [saying-no]

Questions about how best to approach saying "no", or declining requests. Please explain in your question why just saying "no" is not sufficient.

2
votes
2answers
279 views

how to say no to a recurring request from my managers and team members [on hold]

So I've been living in another country for 10 years, and I've been working with a client for about 2 years, and about 6 months ago I made a mistake, I agreed to prepare a drink from my home country ...
3
votes
2answers
632 views

How to say NO to a family member request about taking care of her child?

Background I have this family member, my cousin, who lives 30 minutes ride away from me. She has a full-time job and her mother takes care of her 6-year-old child during the day, while she is at work....
4
votes
2answers
399 views

How to ask my neighbor who joined my sport club to play with other beginners?

I have been playing badminton doubles in a club for 2 years. I always play a good game and give a tough time to the players who were playing against me. In total we are 15 players in the club. We all ...
6
votes
3answers
703 views

How to ask someone to stop addressing me with a certain form of endearment

I have a friend whose family I also know. Her mother likes me, and addresses me as her "(my ethnicity) daughter", or herself as my "(her ethnicity) mother" as a form of endearment. I live in a Western,...
73
votes
11answers
22k views

How do I tell students at a school I volunteer at to stop flirting with me?

Occasionally, I head out to volunteer to teach robotics programming at an all-girls school in my area. For context, I'm male and age 20, and the students are adolescent females in 7th and 8th grade (...
6
votes
6answers
917 views

How to decline additional help when friend won't take no for an answer

A friend of mine has a business idea. He asked if I knew how to make (smartphone) apps, and I said yes. I recently graduated and currently have some spare time for a side project and could see this ...
4
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I say “No” to a best friend asking for Marriage?

TL;DR My one childhood friend asking me for marriage. He is my very good friend. I want to say him 'No' for marriage. Background Few months before, I have seen a guy on Facebook in recommended ...
-2
votes
1answer
466 views

How can I ask all my classmates to do as I want to do? [closed]

I’m asking this because, now I’m Romania, our high school principal made those who are grade 12 to start class from 8-9AM. My major problem is when it comes for me to wake up on 8:00AM, so I end up ...
74
votes
12answers
24k views

Asking a coworker to discontinue his chivalrous acts towards me?

I've made a friend, Bob, in my workplace who is too much of a gentleman for my comfort level. Initially, we became fast friends due to our shared interests and political beliefs. We often message ...
3
votes
1answer
377 views

How to tell acquaintance that I don't endorse his reckless habits?

For two years, we have been renting out part of our house to a family who we were introduced to through church. Our family is no longer part of said church, but we are still on friendly terms due to ...
53
votes
11answers
13k views

How to say no to an extremely pushy friend

My friend, which is also my coworker, likes to organise events for his friends. He invites a lot of people, but always expects everyone to join him regardless of if they have already planned something ...
76
votes
14answers
20k views

How can I stress to my brother the importance of saving when he relies on me as a safety net?

My younger brother has a wife and two daughters and has habit of spending money. For example, he likes going to movies often, eating out often, and buying name brand clothes. I also have a wife and ...
9
votes
5answers
1k views

How to deal with a boss that privately texts an (uninterested) coworker

At the annual summer party of our company I have introduced a friend and colleague of mine to my supervisor. My colleague is from another department at another office and we have known each other some ...
40
votes
13answers
10k views

How to decline a job offer from a previous employer, without burning bridges?

A little over a year ago I changed my job. Now my previous employer (a small startup) has contacted me asking what it would take for me to come back. While the place was not at all bad and I left on ...
10
votes
1answer
2k views

How to ask co-rider to share price for fuel?

I am talking about a close family friend - We travel daily on the same route almost during the same time, the other person has to travel about 8 kilometers more than me. So we decided to share the ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

Helping my cousin reject advances from a classmate

I have a cousin who is younger to me and she seemed a bit disturbed over the fact that a guy in her class had confessed his feelings for her. But she exactly doesn't feel the same for him. I was ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How do I say no to a person seeking friendship that doesn't understand internet etiquette?

I posted a message in a very large Facebook group (~75,000 members) asking for specific information to help me in my internship. One person that speaks Spanish messaged me and asked me to be his ...
13
votes
4answers
1k views

How to calmly respond to friendly peer-pressure when it's a major pet-peeve?

Every so often I find myself in a situation where a friend or coworker asks if I want to do something social, and I don't want to for some non-committal reasons. By "non-committal" reasons, I'm ...
5
votes
2answers
560 views

Roommates complained to landlord before talking to me

I moved homes a few months ago. I’m living with roommates: 1 couple and the landlady. I’m not sure if the landlady is currently living in the home as I haven’t seen her for several weeks. This ...
7
votes
1answer
359 views

How to deal with friends or acquaintances requests to do their big idea projects?

I'm someone who always has a lot of projects going - inventions, car resto-mods, home repair, programming, etc. Inevitably a proportion of the people I meet see this as an opportunity to get someone ...
6
votes
6answers
1k views

How do I politely say no to a stranger asking to use my phone to make a personal call?

TL;DR A stranger approached me and asked me if they could use my phone. I didn't want to be rude and say no bluntly, so I wavered, and felt uncomfortable. How do I say no to strangers asking for use ...
23
votes
4answers
3k views

How can I decline to help my teacher with their personal IT problem?

Background Note: Certain details have been changed for privacy's sake. I am the go-to person for tech help for my friends (and enemies), family, and teachers. I have helped everyone I know with ...
37
votes
5answers
11k views

How do I reject helping my neighbour who constantly asks me for little favours?

My neighbour is constantly asking me for little favours, which is super obnoxious. She regularly asks me to maintain her smartphone as she has no clue what to do with a smartphone and keeps ...
10
votes
1answer
577 views

How to tactfully turn down demands from a demanding friend?

I have a deaf-blind friend, and she is very sweet. Because she is deaf and blind, there are many restrictions on what she can and can't do, and she has a mitochondrial condition that causes her ...
2
votes
4answers
929 views

How to stop friends from coming in my holiday house?

I have the following problem: I own a house near the beach, in which I go only in summer. Every year, friends ask me (or try to manipulate me to invite them) to come and spend their vacations there. ...
37
votes
2answers
14k views

How to explain that we are not comfortable with a new boyfriend staying at our house?

My wife is having a friend stay over with us at the end of the month for a visit. The friend asked if she could bring her new (~2 months) boyfriend along as well. We are not comfortable with this for ...
6
votes
1answer
900 views

How can I decline an invitation and then go without them?

In 2016 I went to a comic con with a group of online friends, of which a couple of streamers with a decent sized community. F is in this community but nobody really speaks to him outside from what he ...
4
votes
2answers
861 views

How do I tell my close friend that I don't need the advice he gives me? He always patronizes in every conversation!

First up, he's a long time friend of mine, but not someone I ever will get along with in the same room for more than an hour. In the past, I've had a lots of insecurities and he used to be the ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

How to stop being invited to girlfriend's family vacations?

My girlfriend's family likes to take trips together and my girlfriend always goes with them. The problem is that they often want to include me and I'd rather not go. They cover all costs and are ...
2
votes
6answers
563 views

How do I respond to a former co-worker asking for help with his resume?

A former colleague was recently terminated from our division. He lost his mid-level development position due to several factors, all of which could be summed up to poor job performance, misuse of ...
33
votes
10answers
17k views

Saying “No” to my brother's demand without causing an argument

Bit of background on my relationship with my brother: ever since my teenage years, I could not bear him. I know it is common for siblings to have arguments and misunderstandings, and that's been the ...
9
votes
2answers
2k views

How to be friends with a man, but not with his wife

Background: I live in Germany and come from an eastern-european country, I am 30 and female. The man in question, let's call him Ben, is from Germany, he is 55, he recently married Alice, she's 40 and ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

How to politely turn down roommate offer for awkward reason

Awhile ago I was roommates with someone. We stopped being roommates on good terms (we both moved to different cities but are now back in the same one). My roommate became a cop. I'm still friends with ...
7
votes
2answers
559 views

How to decline a help request (which suggests that I must do all his job)

In my class, everyone is looking forward to the presentation of our little project (programming with C#) at high-school. Most of my class doesn't even know how to code properly and, because of that, ...
-5
votes
5answers
796 views

How do I tactfully refuse to donate money? [closed]

At a family dinner, my snippy uncle "reminded" me: Have you donated to my church's charity yet? I mentioned last time that it's only $200 [USD] a month. This is like 3 restaurant meals. All my ...
-1
votes
3answers
251 views

How do I effectively convey my inability to attend an event?

There's a reunion party that has been organized by my High School friends. Let's say, it's on 10th of June. They expect almost everyone to be present since it's the first reunion that we have had. But,...
8
votes
2answers
2k views

How to tell a person who is interested in me that a relationship is not an option?

I have this workmate for almost 2-months now, who is an all-out person. I mean, she's not afraid to tell any of her feelings towards another person. Now, she told me she likes me. I told her, which I ...
42
votes
14answers
16k views

How can I deny a request from the mother of my girlfriend to tag along on our road trip?

Background My girlfriend and I are going on a holiday in her native country, about 800km from our current city. We planned this holiday months ago and we planned to stay for 2 weeks. Problem Today ...
36
votes
8answers
13k views

How can I tactfully refuse to let someone cut in line? [closed]

On over 3 occasions at different supermarkets in the same neighbourhood, I've bumped into the same person asking to cut in line. He usually says: Sorry. Can I please go in front? I'm in a big hurry....
7
votes
2answers
670 views

How to politely say 'I have a prior appointment' to a friend inviting me to a meaningful event, without going into details?

Recently, a friend invited me to an event that was important to her. I said "I have an appointment." but worry I may have blown her off. I didn't want to go into specifics - the appointment was for ...
8
votes
1answer
521 views

Dealing with friends are attempting to recruit me for a job

I'm going to leave as many details out as possible to keep this anonymous since they are in tech, but here we go: I have some friends who are starting their own company. They have some small capital, ...
6
votes
6answers
861 views

How to tactfully refuse to provide academic help?

As an undergraduate student(and a so-called nerd), I have had friends who requested academic help a day or two before exams. Now, I don't have much problem with helping them and I try my best to do ...
30
votes
5answers
14k views

How do I convince my Mom I’m not inviting my brother to someone else’s bachelor party?

My friend is getting married, and another mutual friend is planning his bachelor party, to which I’ve been invited (we’re all in our early 30s). Initially, my mother wanted me to take it upon myself ...
2
votes
2answers
567 views

How do I ask classmates to stop asking me to hang out?

Two classmates often phone me, asking if I want to hang out. The times I have done so, I did not enjoy myself at all. We don't seem to share any hobbies/interests. What I have already tried (didn't ...
14
votes
10answers
4k views

What’s the best way to decline sharing my WiFi network with neighbours?

Occasionally when we have friends who are neighbours over to visit we are asked for access to our wifi so their kids can watch videos on their phone or whatever. Since neighbours are very close to ...
7
votes
2answers
301 views

How do I handle unsuitable requests for endorsement of jobs/internships applicants?

I work as a software developer in a medium sized company in developed country A. I have family relations to underdeveloped country B. Due to economic crisis, glorification of the west and nepotism ...
83
votes
6answers
26k views

How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage?

I am a recent graduate from a school in the United States that has a large number of international students. During my time there, I became friends with someone who I will refer to as "Suzy." Suzy and ...
10
votes
4answers
2k views

How do I tell a relative that I don't want them to spend their vacations in my house

Context: I'm a 26 years old South American, and up until mid last year I lived with my parents. In June I moved countries (7,000 miles) because of work and now I live alone, and so far I very much ...
102
votes
9answers
36k views

How can I tactfully refuse to switch seats on flights?

On flights, seatmates (strangers near my seat) have asked me to swap my aisle seat (reserved in advance, sometimes paid for), usually to my disadvantage as their seat has some snag (dirtier, narrower, ...
8
votes
4answers
1k views

How can I decline an invitation from someone who is only asking because she feels sorry for me?

Long story short, I never had friends, and didn't know how to make any. I'm 2nd generation Indian, raised in the USA, if that's relevant. Only recently I have few hi-bye friends from office (who ...