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Questions tagged [saying-no]

Questions about how best to approach saying "no", or declining requests. Please explain in your question why just saying "no" is not sufficient.

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74 views

How to say 'NO', When someone offer you better opportunity with better salary?

I am a professional Magento Developer, and I have completed my one year and continue my next one year bond. When someone offers you a better opportunity with a better salary but you have to continue ...
8
votes
1answer
457 views

How to gently ask my neighbor not to use my bins for their waste?

In the past months, there were several occasions when I found foreign waste in my personal bins. I cannot say, that was my neighbor for sure as I never saw anyone. But the waste type and content made ...
3
votes
1answer
848 views

How to say in a courteous but implicit way you are not interested to date?

I have a lady that I've dated once. Since that date, we did not have many interactions except some text messages as she is a MD and my mum has some health issues and we are discussing, from time to ...
3
votes
1answer
377 views

How to convey to parents and friends that I want to change my job? [closed]

My parents work for an amazing charity which does a lot of good work. Giving out to people is something they strongly believe in. They encouraged me to also work for the charity after I left school ...
6
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1answer
643 views

Asking for fees for an assumed free service

During my university years, I had designed and developed my department website. It's been many years since I graduated, however, the office IT staff still contacts me if something goes wrong. This ...
6
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5answers
939 views

How can I tell a friend about a future trip without upsetting another friend, who wants me to hold the truth about it?

Soon, I'll be going on a trip for one weekend; "Friend B", who is planning this trip, wants to exclude "Friend A" who will likely ask me sometime during the trip what I'm up to. "Friend B" reiterated ...
8
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2answers
1k views

Friend is using me to do her (home)work, how can I tell her I want this to stop?

I am a middle school student and I like to think I am a smart person. Typically people ask me to help them figure out problems; but there is one person I am having some trouble with. She sits next to ...
13
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1answer
1k views

How to handle my ex touching me against my wishes when he is visiting our daughter?

I left my daughter's father during the pregnancy because we were having many issues and things with him were not changing. It's been a year since I moved back to my mom's and left him, and my daughter ...
25
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5answers
7k views

How to convey to the people around me that I want to disengage myself from constant giving?

Once I’ve paid rent, bills, petrol, food, etc. I have a relatively small amount of money left over each month. I would get by just fine on this, if it wasn’t for spending the money on other people. A ...
8
votes
1answer
838 views

Tactfully avoiding sharing food with a friend

Note: one of my best friends is in this situation with her friends, so I'm asking this question for her (from her perspective). I have a friend, Alice, who I was very close with in college. We'd ...
3
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0answers
318 views

How to stop paying for my parent's poor financial decisions? [closed]

One of my parents decided to pay for and renovate an old house with all of their remaining money (inherited, not saved by them). When this decision was made, I warned them that I thought it was a bad ...
12
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3answers
1k views

How to tell my mother not to visit?

I left my mother's home to live on my own 8,5 years ago. Since then, no one in my family has visited me once. Some years ago, my mother even dismissed my idea to visit me when I suggested to do so, I ...
26
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3answers
7k views

How to gently end involvement with an online community?

Since 2011 I'm a member of an online community for Animal Crossing players. Sadly many things are changing in gaming world and many of these changes combined with new interests which I have found in ...
56
votes
7answers
13k views

How to dismiss intrusive questions from a colleague with whom I don't work?

I have a colleague of mine at work. He's just my peer, not my boss or a higher rank, I do not report to him in any way. When I'm late for work (for different, sometimes very personal reasons), he ...
11
votes
1answer
947 views

How to tell a friend I don't want his help with miniature painting?

I have a friend with which we share a hobby, miniature painting. We both purchase what we need and sometimes get together to paint for the sake of just hanging out. The miniatures I purchase suit a ...
6
votes
1answer
480 views

How do you politely respond to people who ask too many obvious questions?

I really like helping people and I don't mind helping others with work and assignments etc. However, there are a few people who will take it very far and I've come across this a few times. For ...
3
votes
1answer
1k views

How to deal with new awkward sport partner without hurting his feelings?

I recently posted on a facebook page to find a partner to practice my favorite sport. Nothing romantic, I already have a boyfriend, I just want to practice my sport. Some guy (random stranger) agreed ...
4
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2answers
1k views

Declining a date invitation from a friend while minimizing the hurt feelings?

When I was in middle school (around 14 years old), I was friends with a boy (who was outside of my regular "friend group") and so, some friends of mine decided to hook me up with this person. I didn'...
12
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1answer
816 views

How to communicate to my spouse I can't stand unexpected touch without hurting their feelings?

TL;DR I've recently learned about my autism and still need to understand what it means. I have struggle being touched when I don't expect it and it hurts my spouse when I already tried to explain to ...
2
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0answers
238 views

How can I refuse a dinner with my relatives? [closed]

I have never been close to one of my relatives. The only living thing I like is my dog. We are having dinner tomorrow with a bunch of relatives and friends. My dad will pick me up at 7 pm but I don'...
11
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2answers
812 views

Needy friend uses me to avoid his parents, how do I tell him no?

Background I have a friend whom I have been very close with for a long time. A few years ago, when we were in high school, he came out to me and told me that he did not want to tell his parents, as ...
3
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0answers
250 views

Telling a friend I normally hangout with on a holiday, I don't want to this time [closed]

A national holiday is coming up :) I have a friend (call him Joe) I normally hangout with on this holiday. I also see him on a regular basis. This time I would like to hangout with a different group ...
6
votes
1answer
485 views

Helping my mom accept that I can't be available as much as she wants

My mom moved to the same city as my wife and I about 5 years ago. It's always been a bit rocky, but there is probably one theme that comes up the most regularly. To put it simply, her expectations ...
4
votes
1answer
936 views

How can I tactfully refuse to tell my loving brother my home address?

I'm chummy and cozy with my brother, but he has very loose lips and can't keep secrets - peradventure because he has genetic disorders? Of course my door is always open to him! Rather, my parents are ...
6
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2answers
513 views

How to ask someone to not try to fix your issues

Sometimes, you talk to someone about a problem you are facing and what you want them to say is something like: Oh yeah, that sucks. However, the person might not get the hint and well instead tell ...
6
votes
1answer
488 views

How do I politely refuse doing a favor for a friend?

I have a friend who doesn't speak English very well. She once asked me to help her with a small text that had just about two paragraphs and I helped her, correcting the mistakes that she made. After ...
14
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2answers
2k views

How to tell my ex not to expect sex

I'm a 25 year old man living in France. Last year I dated a 30 year old woman in the US, and kept things really casual (I knew she wanted to be more than dating but it was not reciprocal). Now she is ...
52
votes
3answers
9k views

How to decline physical affection from a child whose parents are pressuring them?

My Situation I am an uncle to 6 nieces and nephews. I live about 1000 miles away from the rest of my family, so I only see them 2-3 times each year. When it comes time to say goodbye, it is common ...
4
votes
2answers
2k views

How do I effectively explain to my boss that I don't want to wear a t-shirt for our office video shoot?

I work in a tiny startup, digital marketing agency in India. I've always lived a very simple life. My way of life style is still very much influenced by the way it was in my childhood. The thing is, ...
1
vote
1answer
615 views

Someone else using my cooler without my permission

This might be very intuitive for someone to suggest me to ask him to put it back. But please hold on. I live in a hostel and changed room to the next room which had a cooler already (owned by my new ...
10
votes
1answer
919 views

How can I avoid lending my bike?

There's this kid I've been riding with for quite some time that keeps borrowing my bike non-stop leaving me riding his broken bike. Not that I dislike him riding my bike or anything, is just that ...
4
votes
1answer
416 views

How to politely turn down an offer from someone to join a pyramid scheme? [duplicate]

My girlfriend and I went out to eat with an acquaintance of hers and his wife. They were really nice people, but at the end of the dinner date, they brought up a known pyramid scheme that they're a ...
4
votes
1answer
520 views

Politely declining a request to use my railway card to get a ticket when the person has to stand in the queue

Background: I'm from India. In our railways, we have multiple ways of booking tickets, one of them being the regular way (stand in the queue) and the other, a card which lets you get your ticket ...
5
votes
2answers
818 views

How do I get a classmate who is creepy to leave me alone? [closed]

My classmate and 'friend' is really starting to creep me out. It was obvious that he liked me and did weird stuff earlier this year, but I just shrugged it off. Now I’m starting to get creeped out. He ...
9
votes
1answer
872 views

How to say no to a family member who wants to drive the car

I am a very introverted kind of person and don't argue with others. Sometimes it feels like some people just do not know how and where to stop with me. I have a car and there are some people in my ...
8
votes
2answers
649 views

How to stop someone from helping you?

Today, I had some difficulties with an Excel function so, after a meeting, I asked two of my coworkers if they knew how to solve my issue (since I thought it was an easy problem and they have more ...
7
votes
2answers
531 views

How to tell friends that I don't want them in my team?

This question relates to my football (soccer) team. Last year my team competed in a football tournament, we did okay but we didn't achieve our goal of winning the tournament. This year, I want to ...
10
votes
3answers
2k views

How to avoid being kissed by someone with braces?

Situation I have recently found myself in a position where someone I am attracted to has tried to kiss me. The only problem I really have with this— their braces. I quickly brushed them off before ...
18
votes
5answers
2k views

How can I decline a hug without offending?

My boyfriend shares an apartment with an older man who has a physical disability which prevents him from walking. The housemate is very kind and intelligent. However, sometimes when I am alone with ...
10
votes
3answers
949 views

Foreign Friend wants me to go to the hospital with him in order to translate

We are in Japan, and one of my British friends got neck pain and needs to go to the hospital. The injury occurred a few month ago and recently he asked me to go to the hospital with him. First he went ...
7
votes
1answer
904 views

How do I tell my friend that I don't want to go to her church without hurting her feelings

My friend invited me to her church and I went to the Sunday service. However, I didn't really enjoy the way the pastor communicated his ideas with us and he repeated a lot of the same things over and ...
2
votes
2answers
712 views

How can I politely decline when someone asks to use my camera on my phone?

So occasionally someone will ask to use my phone just to use my camera. The last time this happened it was at work, but it can be a friend or relative that just needs a quick picture of something. ...
10
votes
6answers
1k views

How to tell a friend I don't want to continue giving him advice?

A friend of mine, who was one year behind in college and in the same graduate program, will soon graduate and is in the look out for a job. This friend has being asking me for advice (I'm very well ...
2
votes
2answers
373 views

how to say no to a recurring request from my managers and team members [closed]

So I've been living in another country for 10 years, and I've been working with a client for about 2 years, and about 6 months ago I made a mistake, I agreed to prepare a drink from my home country ...
4
votes
2answers
862 views

How to say NO to a family member request about taking care of her child?

Background I have this family member, my cousin, who lives 30 minutes ride away from me. She has a full-time job and her mother takes care of her 6-year-old child during the day, while she is at work....
5
votes
2answers
457 views

How to ask my neighbor who joined my sport club to play with other beginners?

I have been playing badminton doubles in a club for 2 years. I always play a good game and give a tough time to the players who were playing against me. In total we are 15 players in the club. We all ...
5
votes
3answers
842 views

How to ask someone to stop addressing me with a certain form of endearment

I have a friend whose family I also know. Her mother likes me, and addresses me as her "(my ethnicity) daughter", or herself as my "(her ethnicity) mother" as a form of endearment. I live in a Western,...
1
vote
3answers
963 views

How to tell to my mother that I don’t want to do certain things she requests me to do?

Context I’m 19 years old in Bucharest, Romania in high school at grade 12. Since I’ve been gifted with an iPhone, I kinda liked staying on my new phone. But, I couldn’t control myself. Now my parents ...
76
votes
11answers
24k views

How do I tell students at a school I volunteer at to stop flirting with me?

Occasionally, I head out to volunteer to teach robotics programming at an all-girls school in my area. For context, I'm male and age 20, and the students are adolescent females in 7th and 8th grade (...
8
votes
6answers
989 views

How to decline additional help when friend won't take no for an answer

A friend of mine has a business idea. He asked if I knew how to make (smartphone) apps, and I said yes. I recently graduated and currently have some spare time for a side project and could see this ...