Questions tagged [saying-no]

Questions about how best to approach saying "no", or declining requests. Please explain in your question why just saying "no" is not sufficient.

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votes
1answer
1k views

How to behave around ex boyfriend with unresolved feelings? [closed]

My ex and I had an intense breakup, he ended up starting a relationship with a friend that had feelings for him immediately after the breakup and they have been together since (6 months). We are not ...
30
votes
8answers
6k views

In an early relationship, how can I handle my partner's deep depression and not be an enabler?

As a preface, I apologize if this question seems off-topic; it is a twisted problem that I have tried to narrow down to a single, good question that addresses the lump sum of my concerns and issues ...
75
votes
9answers
16k views

How to redirect a real-life help vampire to an alternate source of food… um… assistance?

I've recently had some troubles with a help-vampire in the office. She's about my age (late twenties), from India and she doesn't speak Dutch. She works in the same office as me, but not on the same ...
54
votes
12answers
15k views

Convince somebody to stop flirting with me

Brief Summary So, I've been in a bit of a situation recently: one of my co-workers (female, I'm male btw) started flirting with me. It started with her throwing things like "hey, beautiful", and I ...
8
votes
1answer
3k views

Guy I met very briefly won't stop messaging me

As the title says, there's a guy I met for five minutes several months ago who won't stop messaging me on Facebook. We're both (straight) guys, so it's not romantic, he just seems to want to shoot the ...
141
votes
11answers
68k views

How to tell girlfriend I don't want to meet without hurting her feelings?

My girlfriend and I have "fixed" days we see each other, because we normally don't have time on other days. Sometimes, it happens that her training gets cancelled and she has time that evening and ...
7
votes
6answers
2k views

How can I tell a friend to bring something I actually enjoy eating if they will bring something anyway?

My boyfriend's brother-in-law (Bob) visits my boyfriend from time to time. Because he owns a bakery he always brings us a bag full of goodies. The bag almost always includes the following :a ...
1
vote
5answers
1k views

How to refuse a job offer that I already accepted?

I was offered to collaborate as freelancer in the company I used to work (I quitted and I'm working in a different place right now). I was talking with the company owner, who told me that in case I ...
12
votes
3answers
2k views

How to respond to rejected sympathy?

I am in a growing friendship. I hope we call it a strong friendship soon. It's mostly based on a common goal, but also a commitment of support. This is not in a professional context at all, this is a ...
42
votes
9answers
6k views

Appropriate ways to dismiss street vendors?

In the Netherlands, it seems to be quite common lately to hire some students, put them on a busy main street or outside a supermarket, and have them target every passerby by asking 'Can I ask you ...
4
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4answers
1k views

How do I say “no” to an ill friend who wants to leave hospital?

A friend of mine (20-30) was recently admitted into hospital for minor surgery. When we visited him a few days later he was certainly better, but then the next day he told me that he was in pain and ...
52
votes
14answers
13k views

How to survive as a notter where it is not the norm?

I am a serial and consistent "notter"¹: I do not drink (alcohol or coffee), smoke, do any form of drugs, I'm a vegetarian, etc. All of these things have been consistent for me for a decade or more. ...
29
votes
4answers
12k views

How do I say no to a stranger asking to borrow my bicycle for a minute?

Last night, I took my bicycle to meet some friends (both boys and girls). While we were sitting there (on the curb, in a relatively secluded place where the teen will often meet for a pakal (a meeting,...
174
votes
20answers
63k views

How to avoid being seen as a cash cow by my family?

Situation I'm German, in my mid-20s and currently living together with my girlfriend without kids. I earn a fairly good salary for my age compared to other family members and was always a saver (...
28
votes
5answers
29k views

How to gently tell someone that you just want to be friends?

Already many months ago, "Bob" joined my circle of friends. He has a plethora of good character traits and it is really great to hang out with him. In addition, he is a bit shy and also introverted. ...
33
votes
12answers
17k views

How to handle unwanted touching from my partner's friend during conversations?

My partner recently reunited with a friend "Bob" from high school, who has also recently been divorced from his wife of 25 years. He has been visiting us quite often lately and we do enjoy having him ...
71
votes
21answers
25k views

How do I deal with a mother who won't take “no” for an answer?

My mother is quite single-minded in getting what she wants. Unfortunately, she also has only a single tactic: trying to convince me every single time we talk. Most of these things are products or ...
35
votes
13answers
8k views

Explaining why I don't use social media

I don't use social media. Faceplace, flutter, you name it, I really hate it, and I avoid it. Unfortunately social media seems to be expected these days. Like it's a given that everybody uses it and ...
5
votes
2answers
493 views

What is the best way to make a good employee feel more invested in her or his job?

A private nurse or caregiver, or personal assistant of any kind, often gets close to the person for whom they work, by necessity. That is not necessarily a bad thing, but it does sometimes lead to ...
7
votes
2answers
5k views

How to politely decline a friend request from a colleague who wants to add me on Facebook?

I have a colleague at work who has sent me a friend request on Facebook, but I don't feel we're close enough for them to be seeing my personal posts, I'm not sure how they feel though, they could ...
3
votes
2answers
837 views

How do I stop my fraternity alumni from contacting me about recruitment?

I am the Vice President of Recruitment for my fraternity at my university and at the moment recruitment is a very important element, as we are only two years old. The chapter I am a part of is a "...
22
votes
8answers
6k views

How to discreetly reject an attention-seeker while you listen to someone else

Situation A group of people, who have known each other for a very long time, meets again. Among them are Alice and Mallory (not real names). Alice She has been gone for quite a while and just came ...
184
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10answers
40k views

How to ask a vegan to stop telling me about veganism because I am not interested in it?

I work in an office with a couple of vegan coworkers. If I bring any animal products to lunch (even cheese, which they can smell), I'm likely to get a long earful about it. In the past, I've listened ...
31
votes
3answers
14k views

How to permanently leave a group activity without insulting a friend

Currently I am in a group activity (pen&paper online) we started 2 years ago and which is held weekly. I consider everyone of this group as my friend. But I have had arguments with the leader of ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

My coworker invited me to go camping. I hate camping but instinctively agreed. How can I back out?

I'm an idiot and I've always had the "nice guy / pushover" mentality which I've been working on personally and have steadily gotten a lot better at overcoming. This one caught me by surprise and I ...
6
votes
3answers
1k views

How to say no without sounding rude?

Recently I have been having a lot of troubles with my friends, when they ask me to do something and I say no, because I don't like it or I don't want to do it. Example Friend: Wanna dance with ...
21
votes
5answers
2k views

How to efficiently and effectively decline help, being somewhat rude if necessary

As a person who is what is euphemistically called a "senior citizen" I occasionally receive offers of "help" that I do not need and do not want. Maybe in 10 years I will, but not now. I cannot figure ...
9
votes
4answers
1k views

How to respond to peer pressure without being excluded.

Often a group of my friends will leave a party to smoke cigars/cigarettes. I do not smoke and have no interest in picking up the habit but I would like to be included in the conversation that happens ...
7
votes
4answers
2k views

How to effectively say “no” to being offered a dessert during a meal when everyone else is also having one?

Often when I go out for a meal with my mother and grandmother, we often go to restaurant with large side dishes and also large main courses, as a result I am usually full and don't want a dessert. ...
21
votes
1answer
2k views

How to avoid having to kiss my mother on the cheek without offending her

On a regular basis my Mother is absolutely insistent that I give her a kiss on the cheek whenever I go out to a certain location, or just at certain times. Now I have no issues with hugging her, ...
13
votes
2answers
2k views

Saying “No” to someone who refuses to let up

I had an incident yesterday where it was late at night and an acquaintance/friend called me to come over to help him with a non-emergency urgent matter, so I told him I would love to help him, but it'...
17
votes
2answers
960 views

Should I mention an allergy when turning down offered food?

I have an allergy to dairy, and I do not expect others to know everything that contains dairy. At work, sometimes people bring things they've baked from home, or leftover birthday cake, things like ...
21
votes
6answers
28k views

How to politely refuse money from someone who is insistent?

This question is based in the UK, with no specific religious or cultural preferences Often after doing a favour, some people will offer me money to say "thank you" or as some form of compensation, ...
13
votes
3answers
12k views

How can I politely reject someone asking for WhatsApp number?

While travelling, sometimes I talk with people seated near me. The conversation is either started by them or by me. At the end, some people ask for WhatsApp number or mobile number or facebook id. ...
28
votes
9answers
27k views

How to politely decline an opportunity to be involved in a pyramid scheme?

I have a friend who is involved in a Multi-Level Marketing scheme (which sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme). She often invites me to events where she sells things. When we meet outside these nights, ...
31
votes
7answers
7k views

How to nicely reject someone who is hitting on you in the United States?

The other day I was on the bus and this girl awkwardly walked up to me and started talking to me. She then gave me her number. I wasn't really interested in interacting more with her, so I pretended ...

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