Questions tagged [united-kingdom]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United Kingdom or British culture.

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192
votes
14answers
55k views

How do I tell my new boyfriend that I make a lot of money?

I am usually very secretive about my income. No one really knows how much I make and I was taught to never talk about money to friends. I make about ten times what my boyfriend does. He's also a ...
112
votes
10answers
62k views

How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends?

I have a friend (a woman), who I met around 8 months ago. Since then, she has become my best friend and we are extremely close. Understandably, my wife is envious of the relationship and even ...
98
votes
8answers
17k views

My best friend has become increasingly xenophobic towards Muslims. What do I do?

My best friend (let's call him Bob for potential answerers) whom I have been friends with since childhood (around 15 years) has become increasingly xenophobic recently. He's a great person and ...
97
votes
11answers
49k views

How to respond to someone when they ask how much you earn? [closed]

When I'm at social gatherings/parties, people would inquire about my job and, because I'm an app developer, they think I earn substantially more than I do. (Oh, the joy!) They then follow up asking ...
97
votes
12answers
24k views

How do I negotiate more “Man” time for myself without offending my partner?

I am almost 50, my partner moved in with me a few years ago (I was a widower before then), we have no children. During this period, I've grown a little more frustrated that I don't get much time to ...
93
votes
14answers
75k views

How to respond when a Doctor's Receptionist asks the reason for the appointment, after confirming appointment is made?

I have recently come across a situation that made me feel very uncomfortable, especially if it had been more of a personal issue. I contacted my doctor yesterday with pains in my hand/wrist as I didn'...
87
votes
9answers
20k views

What is the etiquette for asking a dog owner before I pet their dog?

Dogs are what I see mostly out on my day to day activities and I see some tied up outside shops and I'll pet them, I'll also pet some in passing i.e. just stroking them as I walk past and sometimes as ...
80
votes
9answers
22k views

How do I stop making people jump at home and at work?

I make a lot of people jump when I enter the room or try to get their attention. I am not sure what exactly I am doing wrong, but I would like to stop it so I am looking for suggestions. I have had a ...
79
votes
12answers
21k views

How can I ask if something's free, without looking stingy?

Some waiters offer something (e.g. distilled water; more amuse-bouches, hors d'œuvre or bread) without disclosing if it's free. How can I clarify tactfully? I always decline, as I don't know how to ...
78
votes
20answers
22k views

Not having to explain my reasons for wanting to keep my last name

As a female in the UK, I'm expected to drop my last name and take my (male) partners' name when we get married - there's no law against me keeping my last name, though it's generally frowned upon. ...
77
votes
14answers
21k views

How can I tactfully interrupt a customer service representative over the phone?

I had to telephone my bank, as my security device stopped working. The staff member said: Before we continue with the nature of your call, are you interested in completing a survey I wasn't. So I ...
74
votes
13answers
29k views

How can I convince my partner to accept my best friend instead of wanting to break up?

Background My partner (27F) and I (26M) have been together for about a year. We live together. Throughout our relationship, my partner has been jealous of my friendship with my best friend (25F) of 4 ...
69
votes
14answers
27k views

Can I give flowers to a feminist as a present for hosting a party? [closed]

My wife and I are going to a social event to the house of a (not so close but still) friend who is a self-declared and active feminist (e.g. she blogs about it). For such social events, we normally ...
68
votes
12answers
22k views

How do I approach telling my date that I won't lend her money?

I've started dating (i.e. having meals and drinks) with a school friend who I haven't seen in a while. In that time, my life has worked out quite well (home-owner, stable job, good health etc.) ...
68
votes
4answers
16k views

Witnessed a woman being abused (groped) in a nightclub

Scenario Last Thursday I (21 year old male) was in my student union as there was a Drum and Bass Event happening. I went out with a fairly large group, about 8 lads including me and 2 girls. We were ...
66
votes
10answers
21k views

How to stop a colleague from talking to me about work when I'm on my lunch break?

More often than not, I eat my lunch at my desk. There aren't any shops or cafés nearby, so this suits me just fine. I usually put my headphones in and browse the news or SE to take a break from work. ...
63
votes
9answers
19k views

How to make clear to people I don't want to answer their “Where are you from?” question?

I live in the UK but am not originally from here, having moved in the last decade. Quite often when I talk to people I get asked where I'm from. It usually seems to be in response to my accent, as I'...
62
votes
16answers
15k views

Why are people unwilling to share information about their salary?

Reading this question I was surprised that it seems to be common sense that people do not want to share this information and might even get upset, if someone asks them how much they earn. Is this ...
60
votes
8answers
18k views

How do you politely stand your ground against authority who repeatedly press a question that you declined to answer?

This questioner is positioned with authority and power in a professional context. Background An elderly relative's mental illnesses cause stuttering and awkward behavior that probably explains her ...
59
votes
11answers
19k views

Should I monetarily reward the person who found my phone? [closed]

I just lost my mobile phone in the bus on my way to work (left it on the seat). I called from another phone, and someone answered me, telling me that indeed I had left my phone in the bus seat. We are ...
54
votes
12answers
24k views

How should my wife handle an engaged admirer and his fiancee?

My wife is currently attending university (final year) and, over the course of our 8 year relationship, she has inadvertently drawn the attention of a number of individuals who seek a relationship ...
54
votes
7answers
10k views

Why is a 'good' handshake important?

When preparing for job interviews in the past, my recruiters have told me to ensure that I greet the interviewer with a "good firm" handshake. Even so, outside of the work environment when I've ...
52
votes
14answers
13k views

How to survive as a notter where it is not the norm?

I am a serial and consistent "notter"¹: I do not drink (alcohol or coffee), smoke, do any form of drugs, I'm a vegetarian, etc. All of these things have been consistent for me for a decade or more. ...
51
votes
11answers
22k views

“Stole” my friend's excitement about a personal project - how to deal with the fallout

Background: I work at a woodworking shop, doing design etc. and both myself and a colleague sometimes do personal projects using the tools, machinery etc. here in our own time. These projects are ...
51
votes
5answers
13k views

How to deal with disruptive people in the cinema

In my last two cinema trips I have had disruptive people in the cinema. One was a group of 4-5 early 20s men, one of whom in particular was talking very loudly. I stared at him until he looked back ...
49
votes
10answers
10k views

How to communicate to a new coworker that I am not comfortable being touched?

Last week a new coworker joined our team, and yesterday we were both invited to eat lunch in the work cafeteria with some other colleagues that I have known for around a year and a half. As he, ...
48
votes
6answers
27k views

How do I respond when someone answers 'Yes' when I ask “Would anyone like the last [Item]?”?

So today at work we had a tray of doughnuts, my colleague called out to the office, "I'm going to have the last one unless anyone else would like it?". At this point, I realised that I don't think I'...
47
votes
14answers
16k views

How can I check the time on my smartphone without looking self-important?

I volunteer at a charity, where meetings usually run overtime as staff go off-topic. I had to attend a 30-minute meeting, in a room with no clock. After we discussed the relevant subjects, a donor ...
47
votes
5answers
9k views

How to address awful smells from the flat above [closed]

Apologies for the large amount of run-up; the context feels very relevant: My wife and I live in a 1930s block of flats in London. We are on the ground floor, of a staircase of 8 flats, so we're at ...
47
votes
6answers
9k views

How to ask my office to remove the pride decorations without appearing anti-LGBTQ?

First, for clarification, I am not anti-LGBTQ. My office has taken part in the Pride Month, which is celebrated throughout the UK in June every year. The month celebrations end in a large Pride ...
45
votes
10answers
15k views

Locking up around workmen

We're currently having some work done in the back garden and whilst I don't have any particular reason to distrust them I do feel a little uncomfortable around the workmen. The other day I was just ...
45
votes
13answers
14k views

What is the current etiquette in the US and UK regarding a man holding doors for female companions?

In my country of origin, Hungary, men should enter pubs and bars before their female companions, as opposed to holding the door for them. This is due to the assumption that pubs and bars can be ...
44
votes
5answers
11k views

How can I ask a possible long-lost relative to prove his identity?

I found myself in a peculiar situation yesterday. I was contacted via Facebook by a person (let's call him Bob) who claimed that he was one of my mom's cousins and hadn't talked to her in over 40 ...
43
votes
10answers
16k views

How can I politely ask someone to get off their phone?

Firstly, I'm not asking someone to not use their phone at all in my presence. But, when I'm with someone and they're sat there scrolling through social media for a prolonged period of time and we've ...
42
votes
5answers
17k views

How do you tactfully write that someone's reply doesn't truly answer your question?

I need to email someone that his reply doesn't truly answer the questions in my original email. 1 below appears too brusque, and would insult and offend: Sorry, but your reply doesn't appear to ...
39
votes
8answers
16k views

How to have dinner without romance involved

I live in a tourist hotspot in japan, in particular a place where people often go when travelling solo. This means that when people I know (even just passing acquaintances) come here, they often ask ...
34
votes
2answers
4k views

Is it appropriate to ask for the text of a eulogy?

At a funeral there is usually a eulogy by family or close friend of the deceased. This usually covers interesting details of their lives. Unfortunately, just hearing it once means you'll miss things. ...
33
votes
8answers
8k views

How to tactfully ask if someone is from the same ethno-religious group as I am?

I am an ethnic and religious member of a certain ethno-religious group. (You can probably guess which one, but I thought the question might be broad enough to apply to other ethnic/religious groups ...
32
votes
3answers
8k views

How to stop an unofficial housemate from leaving cigarette ends in our plates and cups?

I'm a student, living with four other non-students, who've all recently graduated. There's one girl, let's call her Sarah, who officially doesn't live here, but effectively does; she stays around all ...
30
votes
7answers
3k views

How do I encourage my family to talk more and watch tv less when I'm visiting?

My husband and I are visiting my family for Christmas. I moved out and have lived separately from them for 10 years or so. We're staying with my parents. The TV in their home is on all the time. We ...
29
votes
11answers
14k views

How to deal with a friend I live with who doesn't want to pay bills when he's not there?

I have a friend; let's call him X. My girlfriend, X, and I have all lived together (on paper) for about a year and a half. About 6 months ago he got a girlfriend who lives a few hours away. For the ...
29
votes
8answers
8k views

How to inform a friend who has anxiety that you don't dislike them

I have a friend who has depression and anxiety, they constantly think that when they do certain things such as state that they're feeling down or upset, or feel left out that I suddenly dislike them ...
29
votes
8answers
6k views

I want to sit down on the bus but someone's bag is in the way, how can I ensure this isn't the case when I lower my posterior onto the seat?

Background I travel on the bus a lot. Twice a day, 5 days a week, 52 weeks a year (minus a few weeks holidays) and I love it. It's a great time to unwind, to people watch, to lose yourself in thought ...
29
votes
7answers
20k views

How to reply to a message or email after a long delay?

I have a habit of taking a very long time to reply to emails and messages. Since some of these are from friends with whom this is my main form of contact (i.e. unless it is organised via messages and/...
27
votes
2answers
8k views

How to politely approach my neighbours about their excessively screaming child?

Context My neighbours have a child who is around 3 to 4 years old. The walls in my house are really thin, we can hear most things. Which is completely normal in an old terraced British house, but he ...
26
votes
8answers
7k views

Is it rude to use a driveway to turn around in the road?

In Australia when I want to turn around in a street I sometimes use the driveway of private houses to turn in and then then back out again and go the reverse direction on the road. When I go in I don'...
26
votes
2answers
4k views

My friend doesn't react well to my sexuality

I am an openly gay teenager who lives in the UK. I recently came out to one of my childhood friends, after having very positive responses from my current friend group and people my age. However, that ...
25
votes
10answers
19k views

How to tell driving instructor that I want to change instructors?

I have been with the same driving instructor for 3 years, I have taken my test 3 times and I have failed. After failing the first time, my family said that I should probably try a different driving ...
25
votes
8answers
9k views

How to convince people I'm not stealing their food?

I am living in UK university accommodation where everyone has their own room and about 8 or so of us share a kitchen. Over the course of the year food (including mine) was going missing and because ...
24
votes
5answers
8k views

How to speak to my friend who's rude to bus drivers?

I have a friend at work who I often get the bus with. When he gets off the bus at our stop, he never says a word to the driver. I think this would be considered rude (we're British) and I'm actually ...