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Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

4
votes
2answers
508 views

How to avoid shaking hands?

I recently developed dyshidrosis, which makes my palms look disgusting. So I don't want to show my hands to anybody to see. People often do not looking at the hands when shaking, and this eczema ...
0
votes
1answer
478 views

How to politely tell a person that “I'm too busy” is not an acceptable excuse? [closed]

This is another way to ask: How to tell a person they aren't prioritizing what should be important? and is a follow up to: How to determine if someone is busy or just doesn't want to spend time ...
65
votes
10answers
21k views

How do I tell students at a school I volunteer at to stop flirting with me?

Occasionally, I head out to volunteer to teach robotics programming at an all-girls school in my area. For context, I'm male and age 20, and the students are adolescent females in 7th and 8th grade (...
7
votes
2answers
723 views

How do I defuse a shouting fight about a bad test?

I have Chinese parents and the stereotype is 100% true in this case... I’ve recently gotten a bad score on a test, however I’m in double accelerated math. However, apparently that’s the standard for ...
29
votes
3answers
6k views

Etiquette regarding borrowing of power tools

Based on television shows, it seems borrowing tools from neighbors is a potential minefield. I need to power wash my front and back porches and the siding of my house. My neighbor has a power washer ...
66
votes
10answers
25k views

How to tell a close friend they've been cheated on when the cheater is my good friend

Note: one of my best friends is in this situation with her friends, so I'm asking this question for her (from her perspective). I have two close friends, Bobby and Sarah, that I met together almost 3 ...
6
votes
6answers
896 views

How to decline additional help when friend won't take no for an answer

A friend of mine has a business idea. He asked if I knew how to make (smartphone) apps, and I said yes. I recently graduated and currently have some spare time for a side project and could see this ...
5
votes
3answers
983 views

How to deal with someone attempting to “push buttons” and pick fights during casual social gatherings?

So the context of this question is as follows: I attended a friend’s art opening a week or so ago. It was a pleasant, low key affair and a few of the people in attendance tangentially were connected ...
74
votes
12answers
24k views

Asking a coworker to discontinue his chivalrous acts towards me?

I've made a friend, Bob, in my workplace who is too much of a gentleman for my comfort level. Initially, we became fast friends due to our shared interests and political beliefs. We often message ...
85
votes
11answers
40k views

Disclosing my past relationships to my girlfriend

My girlfriend and I are both in our early 20's in the US. We have been together for almost 3 years and have been living together for a few months now. While I've been with other girls before her, I ...
3
votes
2answers
507 views

How to resolve conflict when neither spouse concedes?

For reference, my significant other and I are in our early twenties. We have been married for less than a year. We argue frequently- nothing too toxic, no swearing (which is offensive in our culture),...
1
vote
2answers
473 views

How to ask friend for their honest opinion about my sending messages?

I have a friend of opposite sex. We see and talk with each other about once a week. Every few weeks I initiate an unsolicited conversation online (private message on social media). This person never ...
2
votes
2answers
123 views

How to politely ask for a response?

I needed to discuss some matter with one person. The outcome of that is important for me. At the beginning of the week, I got an email where that person proposed several dates when we could have a ...
4
votes
1answer
283 views

How can I tell my roommates they are being too loud at night?

Background: I'm a university student (USA) that currently shares an apartment with 5 other people, 2 people to each room. Typically, I have to get up early to go to work and then go to school after ...
43
votes
3answers
8k views

How to ask parents to respect my privacy

So, just yesterday iOS 12 came out for Apple devices. All of my family (including me) use Apple devices faithfully. My dad has used a Mac since they were first commercially available for the public. ...
1
vote
3answers
794 views

How can I tell my father I have traded in my car for leased car without checking with him?

I have recently decided to trade in my car for a leased car. So far no issues. The problem is that I usually pass through anything I want to purchase with my dad. I am 30 and admittedly this may have ...
6
votes
3answers
1k views

How to Deal With Asking Out A Friend's Sister

I've been friends with the oldest brother, Gary, since middle school. His younger brother Billy also integrated into our group of friends around high school and Billy, Gary, and I frequently played ...
4
votes
2answers
1k views

How to tell a new guy I misunderstood my open relationship rules

I know there are a lot of "how to tell a guy I am not interested" posts but this is slightly different due to: I am interested I want to keep going to the cafe he works at I am in an open ...
10
votes
5answers
965 views

How do I express to others to more quickly let me know about social mistakes I make?

I recently suffered a bit of a fallout in a teaching group I'm frequently a participant in. This was because I kept making brutally honest criticism about their style of teaching (e.g. "your teaching ...
9
votes
6answers
923 views

How to effectively communicate technical data/instructions without writing “too long” emails? [closed]

I frequently find myself writing emails or technical documents that include a lot of technical information. However, even when written to "technical people" about technical things, it seems that the ...
8
votes
4answers
2k views

How to tell someone they broke my code and ask them to (help) fix it?

I started a new programming job recently and just wrapped up my first task. As part of it, I had to change a critical line in a file from ABC to XYZ. For my second task, a coworker mentioned that it ...
3
votes
0answers
112 views

How to ask my roommate/good friend if they are unhappy because I did not meet their expectation of me (as a roommate)? [duplicate]

The Story To give a bit of background, me and my good friend of almost 7-8 years have been attending the same university. After our first year, both of us, along with two mutual acquaintances, chose ...
4
votes
3answers
462 views

How can I tell the new CFO that I'd like him to be a mentor?

We have a brand new CFO (yay!) and he's a very successful businessperson with a down to earth personality. He's been with the team for 2 months, and has some wildly successful ideas that have really ...
9
votes
5answers
1k views

How to tell a friend their music is awful?

I have a friend who has been pouring his heart & soul into starting a rap career for the past 3 or 4 years. One day while hanging out with him at his flat, he plays me some of his new music from ...
35
votes
3answers
8k views

How can I handle a bisexual friend whom I think is attracted to me?

As some background, I go to a co-ed boarding high school. I have a girlfriend back home and am straight. My wing in the dorms is filled with a large collection of my friends. We're close- we play ...
-5
votes
3answers
1k views

How do I deal with Americans who are trying to force me into tipping? [closed]

I do not support the tipping system. I think it's absolutely repulsive that restaurants don't just pay their employees what they ought to be paid, and instead have them relying on the whims of random ...
5
votes
5answers
717 views

How do you get someone's honest opinion about your cooking?

The flip-side to this question about being asked one's opinion on food they didn't like; What things should you keep in mind if you have cooked or are cooking a meal for family or friends, and would ...
6
votes
6answers
1k views

How do I politely say no to a stranger asking to use my phone to make a personal call?

TL;DR A stranger approached me and asked me if they could use my phone. I didn't want to be rude and say no bluntly, so I wavered, and felt uncomfortable. How do I say no to strangers asking for use ...
38
votes
4answers
13k views

Asking out an intern at close of internship

There is an intern at my company who has been there for two months. During this time I've helped her briefly on a few projects and we have talked socially at work a little but mostly worked completely ...
24
votes
3answers
8k views

How do I help my girlfriend get out of this dangerous situation with her parents? [closed]

Hello Interpersonal Stack Exchange, About two weeks ago I posted the question "How do I help my girlfriend defend herself against manipulative parents?". I recommend reading that one first as it ...
2
votes
2answers
545 views

How do I get a second opinion without offending my longtime dentist?

I have been going to my dentist for the past 18 years. It's a family practice: the dentist, his wife (hygienist), his sister-in-law (appointments and billing), and some additional staff I've never ...
15
votes
1answer
2k views

Breaking up well

Long story short, my ex and I split on pretty poor terms a couple months ago. They cheated again, I moved out, and now they're moving in with the person they cheated with... I'm trying to "break up ...
6
votes
2answers
851 views

How to talk to my sister about not spending as much time with her?

Background: Growing up, I was always close with my sister because I spent a lot of time with her and told her everything. As I grew older and went to college, I began spending less time with her and ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How rude is “ladies first rule” in USA? [closed]

I am a male brazilian (born and living) software developer. I'm part of a remote team with people living in Brazil and in USA (born in other countries as well). We've been working together for 1 month....
9
votes
2answers
943 views

How to initiate discussions with partner involving previous infidelity?

There a couple things my partner and I are working on in our relationship. Perhaps the most challenging is that there was a cheating incident a little over year ago on their end. We didn't talk for ...
7
votes
1answer
450 views

How to press to receive updates without sounding obnoxious?

I recently (well, a few months ago now) backed a project on Kickstarter. It was not my first one, so I was fairly prepared (I thought) to the process. Well, turned out I was wrong. Unlike other ...
3
votes
2answers
170 views

How do I send money as wedding gift [closed]

My cousin is getting married. She is considerably younger in age and we live in different parts of the country. I would not be attending the wedding. I know how much I would like to gift. But how can ...
23
votes
4answers
3k views

How can I decline to help my teacher with their personal IT problem?

Background Note: Certain details have been changed for privacy's sake. I am the go-to person for tech help for my friends (and enemies), family, and teachers. I have helped everyone I know with ...
11
votes
4answers
2k views

How do I bring up one-sided sex to my sexually inexperienced girlfriend without pressuring her into anything?

I've been dating my girlfriend for a few months now and I have given oral and fingered her frequently, but that's the furthest she's gone with anyone. I feel like merely bringing up or suggesting ...
118
votes
16answers
23k views

Is it acceptable to violate table manners in public due to my disability?

I have a tremor, which varies in intensity. I recently ordered a sandwich at a restaurant, which was pretty easy to eat, but I gave up trying to eat the salad, because I was unable to do so with a ...
18
votes
4answers
1k views

How do I make it known to a group of friends that I need a little more patience to communicate with?

I am the kind of person that is quiet until I feel welcomed in a group of people, and even then, I still am relatively quiet until spoken to. Important information to consider: I am deaf with ...
15
votes
3answers
3k views

How do I help my girlfriend defend herself against manipulative parents?

Some Background My girlfriend's family moved to the US about 2 years ago to escape their home country (which is going through political and economic turmoil) to start over. Her mom sells insurance, ...
4
votes
2answers
515 views

How to ask if I can use a rewards/points card at a paid lunch?

I am meeting with a recruiter, and she is taking me to lunch (paid for by her company) at restaurant that is local to my company's location. She is unlikely to have a loyalty card at this place ...
22
votes
5answers
7k views

Attending the 9/11 Memorial next month - how to interact with families that lost loved ones?

A couple of us are planning to visit the 9/11 Memorial in New York next month on September 11th itself; it would be our first time visiting the memorial. I want to be careful to not treat the event as ...
91
votes
11answers
28k views

Complimenting a female co-worker without coming across as flirting?

I am asking this question for a friend. My friend is straight, male, and married to a woman and loyal to his wife. He is a somewhat socially awkward person. He works in an office of software ...
2
votes
3answers
1k views

How to interact with someone whose close friend group seems to dislike you?

Here's the progression of events with me and this friend group: I met and dated a girl I met some of this girl's friends. I got along with them just fine. The girl wasn't romantically interested in ...
8
votes
1answer
1k views

How to develop friendship without money?

I have a dilemma, I'm living in USA and I'm from Latin America (I'm learning to speak English too) so I'm trying to make some friends, I've already found a girl that is very nice, and she wants to ...
36
votes
8answers
11k views

Encouraging bystanders to step up

I ran into a rather nasty one this past weekend. I was out with a close friend at a party and could very clearly hear people making exceptionally nasty homophobic and transphobic comments, up to and ...
79
votes
10answers
25k views

I offered to help neighbor, how to discuss compensation?

I saw my neighbor post on social media that they wanted help with some computer related tasks. We have never met or had any interaction before. I offered to come help them for no compensation. They ...
5
votes
2answers
908 views

How do I distance myself from a coworker/friend?

I've been at an internship for the past 9 weeks. At the beginning of the period, I became close with two other interns, Alex and Sue, as we all started on the same day. However, as the internship has ...