Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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5
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I email a former schoolmate who starred in porn if she needs my help, without being creepy or spooking her?

21 y.o. alumna from my nephew's high school starred in some porn last year. He overheard some ladies talking at supermarket, and didn't believe them – until he watched them online to verify himself. ...
20
votes
3answers
3k views

How to avoid a lengthy conversation with someone from the neighborhood I don't share interests with

I'm here on behalf of my neighbor, who we'll call Betty. She is a 40 year old woman and she has some issues dealing with one of her neighbors, also a woman, but who is 20 years old. Let's call her ...
15
votes
3answers
1k views

How do I approach telling guests not to overstay their welcome?

I had a game night last night and two of my sister's friends came and played, one is male and 20, call him B, and the other is a female ~18 years old, call her L. When my husband was finishing his ...
-2
votes
1answer
566 views

How to get my adult son to stop criticizing his Dad (me) [closed]

Here are three sentences describing what it is that I'm looking for help with: I'm looking for a way to get across to my adult son that I can no longer tolerate his abusive behavior (criticism/...
0
votes
1answer
255 views

Band mates / roommates unwilling to share our rehearsal space and equipment

I'm a member of a band, band "A", which has played together for over a year. For the past year, band "A" has been basically the only musical project for all of the members. We just started renting a ...
12
votes
3answers
924 views

How can I encourage cleaner habits to my partner?

Background I've been seeing my partner for a few years now. We are both young adults, have busy but stable jobs, and have our own living spaces. We have a very loving and supportive relationship. My ...
14
votes
1answer
826 views

How to help my child come out as a trans woman to extended family?

My daughter was brave enough to come out to us that she is a woman. That story is on Parenting SE. My daughter would like to come out to the extended family well before the holidays so that people ...
8
votes
1answer
702 views

Discussing my noisy pet with the neighbors

My SO and I moved into a duplex house a few weeks ago. This past weekend we got a new pet, Finley. When Finley doesn't like something we're doing, he'll scream. Loud. It's actually rather ear-...
5
votes
1answer
446 views

Helping my mom accept that I can't be available as much as she wants

My mom moved to the same city as my wife and I about 5 years ago. It's always been a bit rocky, but there is probably one theme that comes up the most regularly. To put it simply, her expectations ...
6
votes
1answer
513 views

How do I correct someone using the incorrect plural?

I am working with / instructing a new intern who is frequently using the incorrect plural of a technical term, for example, ‘Gooses’ instead of ‘Geese’. I’m fine giving him technical instruction ...
31
votes
6answers
10k views

Different budgets within roommate group

I'm a third-year student/ junior at a US university, and I'm about to move into an apartment with three friends of mine. The main reason I wanted to move was to save money, and I thought this was the ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

Happy Juneteenth?

I recently learned about Juneteenth. For anyone not familiar: Juneteenth is the oldest nationally celebrated commemoration of the ending of slavery in the United States. From its Galveston, Texas ...
9
votes
1answer
733 views

How to get roommate to be respectful, when communication has no effect?

I'm a college student living in a small city in the US. I am currently sharing an apartment with two other women (Jane and Mary), both in their early 20s. We each have our own bedroom but share a ...
7
votes
1answer
608 views

Working to resolve a safety issue after having been lied to by the person responsible

Background A couple sinkholes have appeared in a drainage area behind my house, which is surrounded by other houses in our neighborhood. The area is normally flat, dry, and grassy, so I used to play ...
3
votes
3answers
595 views

What is the proper workplace etiquette for saying goodbye to a higher ranking coworker that you almost never interact with?

One of my colleagues is quitting his job and our supervisor has invited us to his adieu at a nearby restaurant. I cannot go there but would like to be polite enough to say goodbye to him. We were ...
3
votes
1answer
802 views

How to break a two year old glacier!

I’ve moved to the US from Iran two years and a half ago and started my current job two years ago. I had severe depression and anxiety when I started my job, which led to low performance and so many ...
52
votes
3answers
9k views

How to decline physical affection from a child whose parents are pressuring them?

My Situation I am an uncle to 6 nieces and nephews. I live about 1000 miles away from the rest of my family, so I only see them 2-3 times each year. When it comes time to say goodbye, it is common ...
6
votes
1answer
433 views

Communicating that I don't appreciate being repeatedly pressed to do something

A close family member, Ann, has been trying to get me to do XYZ for years. She'll text me every now and then asking if I've done it yet. Every time we see each other she'll no doubt bring it up. She's ...
8
votes
3answers
904 views

Contacting a friend when I haven't heard from them in weeks

Background Online I got some friends who I regularly play games with, these aren't just people on the internet you meet for me. I know a lot of things about them and we've been friends for a long ...
4
votes
1answer
553 views

How do I tell authorities that my narcissistic father is emotionally blackmailing my sister?

Refer to question that led me to ask this question How to call out narcissistic father on emotionally blackmailing my sister I am considering calling the police station to explain my situation and ...
6
votes
1answer
608 views

How do I call out (tell him his behavior is unacceptable) a narcissistic father?

TL;DR: I want to communicate to my narcissistic father that it is unacceptable that he is attempting to blackmail my sister. Refer to my past questions for more information regarding my father and ...
2
votes
0answers
563 views

Man asking for food on the street would only talk to my girlfriend [closed]

While in Nashville TN my girlfriend and I were approached by a man asking for money or food. We were walking down the street and he approached us from my side and asked if we could help him. I ...
5
votes
1answer
500 views

How to respond to people who don't believe where you're from? [closed]

I've observed situations like this occurring to a friend of mine (let's call him X): Stranger: Where are you from? X: [insert southeast asian country here] Stranger: Are you sure? ... On ...
6
votes
5answers
497 views

How to introduce someone to a recruiter that I've worked with before?

When I was looking for a new job around 8 months ago I worked with an agency recruiter - the type that shops your resume around, not an in-house recruiter - to get some interviews. Working with them ...
20
votes
1answer
1k views

How to tactfully respond to compliments when I don't feel I deserve them?

I'm the most senior developer on my current team, and I often get asked for help by my teammates. Sometimes when they ask for help, it's with something that I think is fairly obvious or easy to do. ...
1
vote
1answer
810 views

How can I ask this girl out when she's giving me mixed signals (and other various obstacles)? [closed]

I'm going to try to make this short, but there's quite a bit of stuff to explain. Background information: Me: Male, 17, Junior Her: Female, 17 (assumed), Junior Situation: So, this girl moved ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

How to open up a conversation with an SO about a possibly inappropriate action?

My husband and I are both white. My husband recently asked a black woman if he could touch her hair. She said yes, and he was delighted. This woman works at a gas station we frequent, so we have seen ...
13
votes
1answer
988 views

How can I lay out my reasons to my girlfriend for why we shouldn't get married?

My girlfriend isn't a citizen of the US and I am. We've also have only been dating for 4 months. So when we first started dating she said that if I wasn't ready for commitment in the range of 1-3 ...
18
votes
4answers
1k views

Why do people expect me to feel exactly the same as they do?

Background My fiancee and I recently had a small argument over the following text exchange F: I wish I could have seen you tonight. Me: I would have liked to see you tonight too. F: I ...
10
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I ask someone in a quiet library to stop clearing their throat?

I have ADHD and as such have terrible difficulty maintaining my concentration, especially when working on homework. Because of this, I often like to work on the "quiet floor" of my university's ...
2
votes
1answer
220 views

What is the etiquette for leaving after a stay with an unexpected host? [closed]

Say you go with a few friends on a night out, downtown fairly far from where you live. Afterwards, rather than dealing with how to get home, a friend of a friend offers the couch in their shared ...
6
votes
2answers
573 views

How to tell foreigners they don't need to speak English when near me?

Background At my university we have a library building for students to meet other students and discuss/study amongst themselves. It's rather large and people from all sorts of backgrounds can be ...
2
votes
1answer
315 views

How do I request a different hairdresser?

When I get my hair cut I always go to the same chain location, because it's on my way home from work and convenient. I don't have a particular stylist, so I don't make an appointment and just walk in ...
3
votes
1answer
336 views

Parents fighting a lot recently, and aren't 'dealing' with the problem causing it to blow up next time - How do I get them to work it out?

My parents are the two best people I know. They both love each other, and wouldn't dream about even considering getting a divorce. But sometimes they lose sight of that. Recently, they've been getting ...
5
votes
2answers
441 views

Former housemates have left things at my house. How do I get them to take their things?

My wife and I often host various friends of ours who need a short term place to stay (e.g. a 1-2 week gap between leases). Often, when the friend moved out, they've said something like "I can't fit ...
8
votes
3answers
528 views

How to dodge a question you don't want to answer smoothly, without coming across as dismissive or abrupt?

Recently, I was in a conversation with family members, siblings, in laws, etc. We are all Americans, and all of the same generation. Someone asked, "What would you do if so-and-so (a family member) ...
8
votes
4answers
803 views

What is the proper etiquette for sharing menu items at a restaurant?

When I dine at a nice restaurant (not fast food), I frequently "collaborate" with another in my party so that between the two of us we can order two different items from the menu and then we each the ...
5
votes
1answer
326 views

How to get money owed to me by my brother [closed]

My brother is self-employed, but only makes around $20K/year. That isn't enough to pay his $24K/year health insurance, much less take care of a 4-person family. He has survived by keeping all our co-...
6
votes
4answers
1k views

How to evade request to sit somewhere uncomfortable?

Background I was invited to my friend’s flat the other day to enjoy an infrequent visit. It isn’t often I spend time with her, so this was a special occasion. Her flat isn’t exactly high-end and is ...
6
votes
2answers
602 views

How can I communicate to a friend that he should apply to more jobs?

An acquaintance of mine is a teacher. Because of a change of rules at his school, all the teachers will have to reapply for their jobs next year. I'm sure he'll get his job back, but if he does not, ...
3
votes
3answers
753 views

Group Date Split Check

My wife and I would like to ask another couple to a group date at a local restaurant. I'm fine with this, but I'm unsure as to whether a "group date" implies that the check will be split between the ...
5
votes
2answers
708 views

(How) can I ask gifts be in cash/check instead of more restrictive instruments?

When close family members give me gifts, it's often in the form of gift cards or pre-paid debit cards. I appreciate their generosity, and I spend the balances eventually, but I think both giver and ...
11
votes
1answer
1k views

How to compliment a woman’s makeup?

Situation: Yesterday I was instructed to go to a small conference several of my colleagues were attending. It was short in duration and gave everyone the opportunity to socialize a bit after it was ...
4
votes
1answer
599 views

Making an acquaintance of a bank manager

I'm currently reading "Get a Financial Life" by Beth Kobliner after hearing it praised so much over on Money.SE. In the section on Banking, Kobliner says: Why it pays to know your bank manager ...
10
votes
3answers
534 views

How to request close friends to improve food serving cleanliness?

I spent New Year's yesterday at the home of a close friend. I ate dinner at his house along with his family and extended family. I generally enjoy their place except for one thing - lapses in food ...
4
votes
2answers
924 views

How can I ask my brother to stop saying “future sister in law” when referring to his girl of interest?

My older brother has a habit of cheerfully saying "sister in law?" to me when he gets excited about a girl he's talking to- currently he is engaged for the second time but still says "your future ...
3
votes
3answers
262 views

How do you open/close a friendly personal message to somebody with a terminal illness? [closed]

Somebody I have a close but not entirely personal relationship with (think long time boss, landlord, doctor, etc.) was recently diagnosed with grade 3 brain cancer, ending their career. I sent them a ...
1
vote
1answer
206 views

How can I pursue a friendship by sending a reply to a mass email without having my intentions misinterpreted? [closed]

I recently got a very general “Happy Holidays” mass email from an acquaintance’s work email -- imagine a mail merge with “Dear MERGIE, Happy Holidays from everyone here at Acme Widget Co.” I am ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

How can I find out if my gf only wants me for a green card?

I'm a US citizen and I began dating a girl from an online website. We've known each other for a month and have been officially dating for about two weeks. She told me on the second date that she ...
6
votes
1answer
636 views

Brother thinks no one wants to hang out with him

Two quick notes about my brother, 21M: His personality type is stubborn and borderline obnoxious at times He will help anyone with very little notice or thought The root of the problem is he ...