Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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5
votes
1answer
290 views

How do I talk about money with my partner when they get uncomfortable about the topic?

The Background My partner and I have been together for a significant amount of time, 8 years soon, and are planning to get married (within a few years due to busy schedules and graduate school). I ...
2
votes
2answers
400 views

How to pay back a friend who refuses to take money?

Due to some uncertainties in my housing situation my friend let me couch surf at his apartment for two months. I've found an apartment now and will be moving out soon. I keep insisting to let me pay ...
3
votes
1answer
614 views

How to better handle my friends passive aggressive comments, preferably so there'll be less/none at all?

I'm a millennial and a lot (too many) of my friends were those who were of the opinion that, immediately following the 2016 election, the best way to demonstrate how much they value love, tolerance, ...
0
votes
2answers
397 views

What is the maximum interaction where saying goodbye is unnecessary in the US?

Often when you meet people on the street you may opt to say "Hi" and then be on your way. To my understanding this is not considered a rude behavior. It is also common to greet someone have ...
6
votes
2answers
858 views

How to make my relationship partner not get gradually lazier over time, without having to scare him with the idea that I might break up with him?

My boyfriend and I (age range 26-30, I'm the older one) have been together for two months now and for the most part it was great, we have similar interests, we do things together often, and we make ...
20
votes
4answers
5k views

Does the food or drink item brought to a potluck need to be large enough to serve everyone?

Tomorrow I'll be going to a potluck that will be attended by around 20 people. I'm not good at cooking, so I'm planning on bringing something from a bakery. What is the etiquette with regards to the ...
3
votes
1answer
855 views

How do I convince someone to not get revenge?

Summary and details of the problem I have a friend who is pretending to be the girlfriend of a rich closeted gay guy. I think I can empathize why they are doing this. She enjoys being the talk among ...
2
votes
2answers
652 views

How to decide whether or not to be persistent in pursuit of a relationship?

I am trying to create some lines through this gray area. I feel that there are times when being persistent and showing someone you are interested is attractive since to varying degrees people like ...
3
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I effectively challenge the teacher's bias without coming off as a jerk to the rest of the class?

In my situation, our school had us talk about racial justice and the teacher asked everybody to be respectful and have an open mind. He then presented a slideshow (Fairly sure it wasn’t made by him), ...
2
votes
2answers
297 views

What is the proper etiquette for when someone you're not very close with is dealing with a terminally ill family member?

I'm currently enrolled in graduate school. I've been having a lot of trouble getting in touch with my advisor recently. He finally responded with apologies that he has been dealing with a terminally ...
11
votes
1answer
719 views

How to ask girlfriend to set healthy boundaries with her dog?

My girlfriend of eight months has a seven-year-old chihuahua mix that is extremely jealous, if not needy. When I first started dating gf, whenever we needed some cuddle time, she would have the dog ...
1
vote
3answers
2k views

What's the etiquette for addressing a friend's partner or family in a greeting card?

I'm sending holiday greeting cards for the first time to friends, among whom some live with their partners (unmarried). I am not friends with their partners but consider myself on good terms with them,...
11
votes
3answers
1k views

What is the proper etiquette with regards to reciprocating Thanksgiving dinner invitations?

A little bit of background: I am an international graduate student at a university in the US. A domestic friend invited me to his apartment to celebrate Thanksgiving Day and we had a great time on ...
7
votes
4answers
1k views

Is it customary in the US not to say "bye" after a phone call? [closed]

I am French and we end our phone conversations with the equivalent of a "bye". I noticed however that in most of the US movies or TV series (especially the police/action ones), the callers ...
22
votes
3answers
7k views

How do I politely turn down requests to show wedding photos?

I got married recently and have changed my name at work. People have noticed and are now asking for wedding photos. How do I tell them politely that no, I'm not going to show them? Lying and saying I ...
-1
votes
4answers
1k views

personal attack because of a political comment

We're 5 couples that known each other for many years and we decided to have a breakfast in a nice park. During the breakfast we spoke about the US election on a very intellectual level and one of the ...
12
votes
1answer
920 views

Relative emailed me demanding to know my political views because they disliked my wife's Facebook posts

This morning I received an email from a relative demanding that I state my political viewpoints on a hot-button topic in US politics because his political views are opposite from those that are being ...
4
votes
1answer
653 views

Roommate started new job and using Skype a lot in common areas

A few months ago I moved into a new home. I share it with 2 other people. One of my roommates started a new job recently. She worked in the office the first week but told me she prefers to work from ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

Out of the blue, my friend was very rude to me in public. How can I tell him I need an apology or explanation if we are to be friends again?

I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. We went to a couple pubs downtown. From the amount I saw him drink, I don't think he was drunk, though I guess I could be wrong. It seemed he tried to ...
0
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I convince my sister's husband to switch to boxer shorts?

At a recent family gathering, my younger sister asked me for help. She and her husband have been trying to conceive a child but have been unsuccessful. After going to a fertility doctor, they got ...
6
votes
1answer
915 views

How to convince adult child to pay for their keep

I’m asking advice for a close friend of ours. Let me give some background first. They have a 24 year old daughter that lives with them in the United States. She is the single mom of a 3 year old. ...
2
votes
2answers
567 views

How to tell landlord I don't want him showing my room the day before and during my move

I am moving out of my home. The landlord sent me a message asking what time he can show the place on Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn't realize it right away, but Wednesday is the day I'm moving. I will ...
3
votes
1answer
526 views

How to approach a co-worker about stealing my sales?

I work in a small office where each of has our own set of clients that we have established relationships with over the years. I've recently moved desks and am now sitting almost side by side with ...
-4
votes
1answer
706 views

How to Apologize to a Professor After a Falling-Out? [closed]

Some background: Our falling out occurred when I wrote a letter to the department chair, complaining that her communications triggered an anxiety episode on a few occasions. This letter was prompted ...
6
votes
2answers
718 views

How do I balance saying no and being liked?

I often find myself in the following situation: a friend from work asks to borrow an object, such as a book or my bike or a piece of jewelry they might have seen me wear or money, to pay for food if ...
2
votes
1answer
408 views

How do I regain rapport with a recruiter whose phone screen meeting I missed?

Background Today I had a scheduling mishap for a phone screening with a recruiter. She had the meeting scheduled at 1:30 p.m., and I sincerely thought it was scheduled at 3:00p.m. I work in an area ...
4
votes
2answers
428 views

Meeting new people and telling them my field of work X and they say they could never understand X or hated X in school? [closed]

I'm a graduate student in physics. When meeting new people (mutual acquaintances, workout groups, meeting random people while out and about), eventually the question is often asked: what do you do? I ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How to Deal With A Manipulative and Pretentious Person

17 year-old male living in the U.S. here. I have a "friend" (Let's call him X) who I've known for 4 years and known well for 2 years. He is probably the most pretentious and manipulative person I ...
15
votes
1answer
1k views

How to respond to challenges about using the women's restroom as a trans woman

I'm a transgender woman, and I'm getting to the point in my transition where I'm starting to use the women's restroom. However, given the recent climate around transgender people using the appropriate ...
0
votes
1answer
551 views

How to ask a C-level executive to fix their smoke detector?

A c-level executive at my company (US, ~300 employees) has a low battery in their smoke detector. While this person is on calls the periodic beeping is extremely distracting and annoying to me. There ...
2
votes
1answer
597 views

How to get friend to pay me back a small amount of money?

I invited my friends to an event. It was sort of like a TED Talk. I bought all of our tickets and they agreed to pay me back. Unfortunately something came up at work and I was unable to attend. I was ...
27
votes
5answers
9k views

Recovering from stumbling over words

There are times when I'm telling a story to friends, having a discussion in a meeting or giving a presentation when I'll stumble over my words. This may result in a word coming out sounding like ...
3
votes
2answers
681 views

How to have someone work on being on time and communicate it if they're late?

I have a group of friends and one person is often late and gives misleading communication. Twice he made it sound likes he's close and "just parking his car" but takes another 20-30 minutes to arrive. ...
1
vote
1answer
2k views

Girlfriend indicated that she wants to pleasure me orally, which startled me, now things are stifled

My girlfriend and I have been having sex for a while now, but I guess she wants to start experimenting in bed. I'm not sure if it's because she's bored or if it's because she just wants to let me ...
3
votes
2answers
879 views

How to gently ask friends to stop being so self-deprecating?

I'm in a highly ranked science PhD program, but my department has this odd self-deprecating culture where conversations can quickly turn into who least deserves to be in the program and who sucks the ...
6
votes
1answer
604 views

How do I effectively convey to a family member that tipping a certain amount is expected?

In the United States, it is customary to tip anywhere between 18-25% for "regular" service in restaurants (though from experience, people - myself included - usually aim for 20%). In extreme ...
3
votes
2answers
701 views

How to convey interest after I've declined multiple invitations?

My neighbor who lives across the hall from me in my apartment building is clearly trying to extend an olive branch of friendship. We met at a community gathering for residents a little over a month ...
94
votes
5answers
13k views

How to help a male-presenting person shop for women's clothes?

I'm a new store manager for a women's clothing store and I have been receiving male-presenting customers that are looking for women's clothes for themselves. I want to give them the best, supportive ...
42
votes
3answers
25k views

Two people from small group of friends want to have a "meeting" with me. The circumstances are strange and give me a bad feeling

I have a small group of friends that get together and hangout. Usually we hangout on Fridays. We usually go to the same person's home. One person from this group (call him Bob) contacted me. He said ...
8
votes
2answers
1k views

How to explain to roommate from India if I'm with a guest it's not a good time to discuss roommate issues?

I live in a shared house in the US. Generally speaking it's very nice and the people I share it with are nice. There's a young lady from India who I noticed has very different views than I do. She ...
152
votes
3answers
23k views

I was mistakenly identified as a criminal, and this has caused rumors. How can I convince my friends that it is all a mistake?

A while ago, I was at a popular, busy local nightclub (this is in the Unites States) and ran into a friend of a friend. Let's call her Anne. After a bit of conversation with Anne, and mutual name-...
5
votes
1answer
338 views

Is it acceptable to ask about visitation or memorial service for a funeral?

A family friend's wife died and they were very poor. I'm planning to call him soon, but I'm still hesitant about asking for visitation or memorial service. The only reason I think it could be rude/...
13
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I determine my boss's position on transgender rights?

I am a transwoman. I am in the closet. I am starting to transition so staying in the closet long-term isn't an option. Before I come out of the closet I would like to gauge how I think people are ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

Asking my partner why they don't want me to pleasure them

Whenever we are intimate, my partner never lets me pleasure them. If I try to continue after I'm done, they just shoot me down with something like "it's OK," or "you don't need to,", or "don't worry ...
4
votes
1answer
1k views

How to negotiate about drying clothes with someone from a culture who isn't used to it?

I live in a shared house. Recently someone from India moved in. Though we have an electric clothes dryer, some of my clothes are not suitable to put inside. For example, a few dress pants, swimsuit, ...
3
votes
0answers
232 views

How to handle a professor disrupting workspace peace? [closed]

So I'm currently an international (Latin) grad student at some US university and wanted to know how to improve my current work space situation. I share an office with another 2 Chinese grad students, ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I ask my opposite-sex acquaintance to go to a museum with me?

I recently moved to a new city and there is a girl who I am interested in having a friendship with. I see her everyday besides weekends in orchestra where I usually make some mild chatter with her, ...
7
votes
1answer
2k views

New roommate from India does something to make bathroom smell really bad

Where I live I share the bathroom with one other person. The person who I share it with recently changed and someone from India moved in. He said he's new to the country and just arrived recently. I ...
9
votes
1answer
974 views

Tactfully avoiding sharing food with a friend

Note: one of my best friends is in this situation with her friends, so I'm asking this question for her (from her perspective). I have a friend, Alice, who I was very close with in college. We'd ...
-1
votes
2answers
104 views

Best way to advertise an outreach event last-minute [closed]

I work for a consulting firm and have planned and organized an outreach event at the suggestion of the managing partner. It will take place in a public library, in a meeting room. This is a free event ...

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