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Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

1
vote
1answer
67 views

How to gracefully ask HOA residents about their experiences?

I am currently looking for a condominium and would like to ask the residents within the HOA (Home Owner Association) building about their experiences with said HOA. This most likely involves knocking ...
6
votes
4answers
246 views

How do I use body language to indicate that I am thinking?

My Problem When people give me large amounts of information, I will take plenty of time to process it before giving a response. The amount of time I take usually ranges from 30 seconds to a few ...
8
votes
6answers
519 views

How to Address My Weight in Conversations With Friends

I am a 38 y/o female and I am overweight (5'3", 210 lbs). I occasionally make remarks about my weight in conversations with friends. I don't do it in a self-deprecating way; I just mention it as a ...
5
votes
6answers
824 views

How to communicate your availability to relocate without sounding as a stalker?

I've recently met a person I am strongly attracted to. They rejected the idea of a date because "at the moment [they're] not emotionally available", since they recently came out of a long term ...
4
votes
1answer
295 views

How to convince co-home-owners to consult me on significant changes/purchases?

I live in the US and my wife and I share a house with my in-laws (and young daughter). We bought the house just over a year ago and myself, my wife and my in-laws are all co-owners. My wife and her ...
3
votes
3answers
461 views

How to be Polite without giving wrong signals (because this happened before!)

Few years ago I was super friendly to people (in office setting), and got unwanted attention. So much so that not only I cut off that person (directly said "I am not interested"), but cut off everyone ...
11
votes
2answers
548 views

How to politely deal with strangers who aggressively hand out religious tracts or preach to you seemingly out of nowhere?

This question is not being posted to get into a religion or freedom of speech debate, but rather present the idea that regardless of religious beliefs, aggressive and pushy behavior wrapped in the ...
6
votes
4answers
1k views

How to reveal debt to longtime boyfriend?

My boyfriend and I have been together for several years. We have never lived together in the same place, but have spent time together at each other's places. We're pretty serious now and I have ...
23
votes
4answers
1k views

Etiquette at communion for someone who is not religious

I'm an agnostic young adult living in America A few years ago my family and I were at a Lutheran church because my cousin was becoming a pastor. Throughout the whole ceremony I did what I saw others ...
8
votes
3answers
779 views

How can I signal to my friend that I'm open to talking about their obesity?

I have a close friend of several years who is overweight. I've been reading and thinking about the issue of obesity and how invisible it sometimes is - how difficult to discuss and yet how emotional ...
2
votes
2answers
1k views

Showing someone you are interested in a relationship but not ready to send nude

I'm a male in my early- to mid-20's who has recently connected with a female close to my age by finding her on a dating app. She preferred to have conversations on a separate app, popularly used for ...
-4
votes
1answer
592 views

How do I return inedible foods and not be charged, without offending staff? [closed]

I've had difficulties at only Chinese restaurants in Canada, Hong Kong, US, UK whenever I must return dishes. Their staff vigorously defend the dish, counter and deny my observations, get angry and ...
8
votes
2answers
550 views

A stranger on the street accidentaly dropped their wallet: if and how may I point it out to them?

While walking down the street I noticed another pedestrian, who was ahead of me, accidentally dropping his wallet. I did not stare at this wallet, of course, but it wasn't hard to notice that it ...
13
votes
3answers
989 views

Gently turning down undesired physical contact/setting boundaries in a nightclub environment

In many ways this question mirrors Asking a girl whether she would like to dance with me The setting: I am alone in a nightclub. I am located in a city/region known for being culturally progressive ...
4
votes
2answers
478 views

How to calm a person's fears about using a taxi to find and travel to work?

An acquaintance needs to find a decent-paying job in her field, because she and her husband have no savings and her husband has a life expectancy of around two years. She is 50 and they have two ...
6
votes
2answers
560 views

How can I help my friend accept that the relationship is over?

After 9 months into the relationship, my early 20's friend just got dumped. She thought he was the one. He'd say things like "I've never felt this way with anyone before," or "I could see myself being ...
6
votes
1answer
306 views

How can I tell if I'm being a bother when asking for help?

I started a new job several weeks ago and like with any new job, I have no idea what I'm doing. I have a "mentor"--somebody on the team who's designated to helping get me up to speed with everything--...
6
votes
3answers
692 views

How to be a good backseat driver

I have a lot of experience with highway driving that most of my friends don't have. Rules (from the USA) like only drive in the left lane when you are passing - ie. slow traffic keep right and never ...
10
votes
2answers
403 views

How to respond to loud people in workplace?

TL;DR: People in my academic department office like to talk loudly, and today, there was boisterous laughing, which caused me to lose concentration. How do I indicate that they need to quiet down, ...
13
votes
2answers
934 views

Tactfully declining a family Thanksgiving invitation

That time of year is approaching once again. Tis' the season for social obligation, and my cousin has already started in about Thanksgiving via text messages. This year has brought a bit of a twist in ...
8
votes
3answers
787 views

How to avoid shaking hands?

I recently developed dyshidrosis, which makes my palms look disgusting. So I don't want to show my hands to anybody to see. People often do not looking at the hands when shaking, and this eczema ...
73
votes
11answers
22k views

How do I tell students at a school I volunteer at to stop flirting with me?

Occasionally, I head out to volunteer to teach robotics programming at an all-girls school in my area. For context, I'm male and age 20, and the students are adolescent females in 7th and 8th grade (...
7
votes
2answers
762 views

How do I defuse a shouting fight about a bad test?

I have Chinese parents and the stereotype is 100% true in this case... I’ve recently gotten a bad score on a test, however I’m in double accelerated math. However, apparently that’s the standard for ...
30
votes
3answers
6k views

Etiquette regarding borrowing of power tools

Based on television shows, it seems borrowing tools from neighbors is a potential minefield. I need to power wash my front and back porches and the siding of my house. My neighbor has a power washer ...
66
votes
9answers
25k views

How to tell a close friend they've been cheated on when the cheater is my good friend

Note: one of my best friends is in this situation with her friends, so I'm asking this question for her (from her perspective). I have two close friends, Bobby and Sarah, that I met together almost 3 ...
6
votes
6answers
917 views

How to decline additional help when friend won't take no for an answer

A friend of mine has a business idea. He asked if I knew how to make (smartphone) apps, and I said yes. I recently graduated and currently have some spare time for a side project and could see this ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How to deal with someone attempting to “push buttons” and pick fights during casual social gatherings?

So the context of this question is as follows: I attended a friend’s art opening a week or so ago. It was a pleasant, low key affair and a few of the people in attendance tangentially were connected ...
74
votes
12answers
24k views

Asking a coworker to discontinue his chivalrous acts towards me?

I've made a friend, Bob, in my workplace who is too much of a gentleman for my comfort level. Initially, we became fast friends due to our shared interests and political beliefs. We often message ...
85
votes
11answers
40k views

Disclosing my past relationships to my girlfriend

My girlfriend and I are both in our early 20's in the US. We have been together for almost 3 years and have been living together for a few months now. While I've been with other girls before her, I ...
3
votes
2answers
523 views

How to resolve conflict when neither spouse concedes?

For reference, my significant other and I are in our early twenties. We have been married for less than a year. We argue frequently- nothing too toxic, no swearing (which is offensive in our culture),...
1
vote
2answers
484 views

How to ask friend for their honest opinion about my sending messages?

I have a friend of opposite sex. We see and talk with each other about once a week. Every few weeks I initiate an unsolicited conversation online (private message on social media). This person never ...
2
votes
2answers
124 views

How to politely ask for a response?

I needed to discuss some matter with one person. The outcome of that is important for me. At the beginning of the week, I got an email where that person proposed several dates when we could have a ...
4
votes
1answer
294 views

How can I tell my roommates they are being too loud at night?

Background: I'm a university student (USA) that currently shares an apartment with 5 other people, 2 people to each room. Typically, I have to get up early to go to work and then go to school after ...
43
votes
3answers
8k views

How to ask parents to respect my privacy

So, just yesterday iOS 12 came out for Apple devices. All of my family (including me) use Apple devices faithfully. My dad has used a Mac since they were first commercially available for the public. ...
1
vote
3answers
800 views

How can I tell my father I have traded in my car for leased car without checking with him?

I have recently decided to trade in my car for a leased car. So far no issues. The problem is that I usually pass through anything I want to purchase with my dad. I am 30 and admittedly this may have ...
6
votes
3answers
1k views

How to Deal With Asking Out A Friend's Sister

I've been friends with the oldest brother, Gary, since middle school. His younger brother Billy also integrated into our group of friends around high school and Billy, Gary, and I frequently played ...
4
votes
2answers
1k views

How to tell a new guy I misunderstood my open relationship rules

I know there are a lot of "how to tell a guy I am not interested" posts but this is slightly different due to: I am interested I want to keep going to the cafe he works at I am in an open ...
10
votes
5answers
1k views

How do I ask others to more quickly let me know about social mistakes I make?

I recently suffered a bit of a fallout in a teaching group I'm frequently a participant in. This was because I kept making brutally honest criticisms about their style of teaching (e.g. "your teaching ...
9
votes
6answers
936 views

How to effectively communicate technical data/instructions without writing “too long” emails? [closed]

I frequently find myself writing emails or technical documents that include a lot of technical information. However, even when written to "technical people" about technical things, it seems that the ...
8
votes
4answers
2k views

How to tell someone they broke my code and ask them to (help) fix it?

I started a new programming job recently and just wrapped up my first task. As part of it, I had to change a critical line in a file from ABC to XYZ. For my second task, a coworker mentioned that it ...
3
votes
0answers
118 views

How to ask my roommate/good friend if they are unhappy because I did not meet their expectation of me (as a roommate)? [duplicate]

The Story To give a bit of background, me and my good friend of almost 7-8 years have been attending the same university. After our first year, both of us, along with two mutual acquaintances, chose ...
4
votes
3answers
471 views

How can I tell the new CFO that I'd like him to be a mentor?

We have a brand new CFO (yay!) and he's a very successful businessperson with a down to earth personality. He's been with the team for 2 months, and has some wildly successful ideas that have really ...
9
votes
5answers
1k views

How to tell a friend their music is awful?

I have a friend who has been pouring his heart & soul into starting a rap career for the past 3 or 4 years. One day while hanging out with him at his flat, he plays me some of his new music from ...
36
votes
3answers
8k views

How can I handle a bisexual friend whom I think is attracted to me?

As some background, I go to a co-ed boarding high school. I have a girlfriend back home and am straight. My wing in the dorms is filled with a large collection of my friends. We're close- we play ...
-5
votes
3answers
1k views

How do I deal with Americans who are trying to force me into tipping? [closed]

I do not support the tipping system. I think it's absolutely repulsive that restaurants don't just pay their employees what they ought to be paid, and instead have them relying on the whims of random ...
5
votes
5answers
721 views

How do you get someone's honest opinion about your cooking?

The flip-side to this question about being asked one's opinion on food they didn't like; What things should you keep in mind if you have cooked or are cooking a meal for family or friends, and would ...
6
votes
6answers
1k views

How do I politely say no to a stranger asking to use my phone to make a personal call?

TL;DR A stranger approached me and asked me if they could use my phone. I didn't want to be rude and say no bluntly, so I wavered, and felt uncomfortable. How do I say no to strangers asking for use ...
38
votes
4answers
13k views

Asking out an intern at close of internship

There is an intern at my company who has been there for two months. During this time I've helped her briefly on a few projects and we have talked socially at work a little but mostly worked completely ...
24
votes
3answers
8k views

How do I help my girlfriend get out of this dangerous situation with her parents? [closed]

Hello Interpersonal Stack Exchange, About two weeks ago I posted the question "How do I help my girlfriend defend herself against manipulative parents?". I recommend reading that one first as it ...
2
votes
2answers
549 views

How do I get a second opinion without offending my longtime dentist?

I have been going to my dentist for the past 18 years. It's a family practice: the dentist, his wife (hygienist), his sister-in-law (appointments and billing), and some additional staff I've never ...