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Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

4
votes
1answer
279 views

How to respond to people who don't believe where you're from? [on hold]

I've observed situations like this occurring to a friend of mine (let's call him X): Stranger: Where are you from? X: [insert southeast asian country here] Stranger: Are you sure? ... On ...
5
votes
4answers
218 views

How to introduce someone to a recruiter that I've worked with before?

When I was looking for a new job around 8 months ago I worked with an agency recruiter - the type that shops your resume around, not an in-house recruiter - to get some interviews. Working with them ...
12
votes
1answer
738 views

How to tactfully respond to compliments when I don't feel I deserve them?

I'm the most senior developer on my current team, and I often get asked for help by my teammates. Sometimes when they ask for help, it's with something that I think is fairly obvious or easy to do. ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

How to open up a conversation with an SO about a possibly inappropriate action?

My husband and I are both white. My husband recently asked a black woman if he could touch her hair. She said yes, and he was delighted. This woman works at a gas station we frequent, so we have seen ...
13
votes
1answer
698 views

How can I lay out my reasons to my girlfriend for why we shouldn't get married?

My girlfriend isn't a citizen of the US and I am. We've also have only been dating for 4 months. So when we first started dating she said that if I wasn't ready for commitment in the range of 1-3 ...
18
votes
4answers
1k views

Why do people expect me to feel exactly the same as they do?

Background My fiancee and I recently had a small argument over the following text exchange F: I wish I could have seen you tonight. Me: I would have liked to see you tonight too. F: I ...
5
votes
2answers
547 views

How can I ask someone in a quiet library to stop clearing their throat?

I have ADHD and as such have terrible difficulty maintaining my concentration, especially when working on homework. Because of this, I often like to work on the "quiet floor" of my university's ...
2
votes
1answer
217 views

What is the etiquette for leaving after a stay with an unexpected host? [closed]

Say you go with a few friends on a night out, downtown fairly far from where you live. Afterwards, rather than dealing with how to get home, a friend of a friend offers the couch in their shared ...
5
votes
2answers
528 views

How to tell foreigners they don't need to speak English when near me?

Background At my university we have a library building for students to meet other students and discuss/study amongst themselves. It's rather large and people from all sorts of backgrounds can be ...
2
votes
1answer
301 views

How do I request a different hairdresser?

When I get my hair cut I always go to the same chain location, because it's on my way home from work and convenient. I don't have a particular stylist, so I don't make an appointment and just walk in ...
3
votes
1answer
312 views

Parents fighting a lot recently, and aren't 'dealing' with the problem causing it to blow up next time - How do I get them to work it out?

My parents are the two best people I know. They both love each other, and wouldn't dream about even considering getting a divorce. But sometimes they lose sight of that. Recently, they've been getting ...
5
votes
2answers
431 views

Former housemates have left things at my house. How do I get them to take their things?

My wife and I often host various friends of ours who need a short term place to stay (e.g. a 1-2 week gap between leases). Often, when the friend moved out, they've said something like "I can't fit ...
8
votes
3answers
498 views

How to dodge a question you don't want to answer smoothly, without coming across as dismissive or abrupt?

Recently, I was in a conversation with family members, siblings, in laws, etc. We are all Americans, and all of the same generation. Someone asked, "What would you do if so-and-so (a family member) ...
8
votes
4answers
760 views

What is the proper etiquette for sharing menu items at a restaurant?

When I dine at a nice restaurant (not fast food), I frequently "collaborate" with another in my party so that between the two of us we can order two different items from the menu and then we each the ...
5
votes
1answer
315 views

How to get money owed to me by my brother [closed]

My brother is self-employed, but only makes around $20K/year. That isn't enough to pay his $24K/year health insurance, much less take care of a 4-person family. He has survived by keeping all our co-...
5
votes
4answers
954 views

How to evade request to sit somewhere uncomfortable?

Background I was invited to my friend’s flat the other day to enjoy an infrequent visit. It isn’t often I spend time with her, so this was a special occasion. Her flat isn’t exactly high-end and is ...
5
votes
3answers
585 views

How can I communicate to a friend that he should apply to more jobs?

An acquaintance of mine is a teacher. Because of a change of rules at his school, all the teachers will have to reapply for their jobs next year. I'm sure he'll get his job back, but if he does not, ...
2
votes
3answers
739 views

Group Date Split Check

My wife and I would like to ask another couple to a group date at a local restaurant. I'm fine with this, but I'm unsure as to whether a "group date" implies that the check will be split between the ...
5
votes
2answers
677 views

(How) can I ask gifts be in cash/check instead of more restrictive instruments?

When close family members give me gifts, it's often in the form of gift cards or pre-paid debit cards. I appreciate their generosity, and I spend the balances eventually, but I think both giver and ...
11
votes
1answer
942 views

How to compliment a woman’s makeup?

Situation: Yesterday I was instructed to go to a small conference several of my colleagues were attending. It was short in duration and gave everyone the opportunity to socialize a bit after it was ...
4
votes
1answer
581 views

Making an acquaintance of a bank manager

I'm currently reading "Get a Financial Life" by Beth Kobliner after hearing it praised so much over on Money.SE. In the section on Banking, Kobliner says: Why it pays to know your bank manager ...
10
votes
3answers
525 views

How to request close friends to improve food serving cleanliness?

I spent New Year's yesterday at the home of a close friend. I ate dinner at his house along with his family and extended family. I generally enjoy their place except for one thing - lapses in food ...
5
votes
2answers
816 views

How can I ask my brother to stop saying “future sister in law” when referring to his girl of interest?

My older brother has a habit of cheerfully saying "sister in law?" to me when he gets excited about a girl he's talking to- currently he is engaged for the second time but still says "your future ...
3
votes
3answers
250 views

How do you open/close a friendly personal message to somebody with a terminal illness? [closed]

Somebody I have a close but not entirely personal relationship with (think long time boss, landlord, doctor, etc.) was recently diagnosed with grade 3 brain cancer, ending their career. I sent them a ...
1
vote
1answer
187 views

How can I pursue a friendship by sending a reply to a mass email without having my intentions misinterpreted? [closed]

I recently got a very general “Happy Holidays” mass email from an acquaintance’s work email -- imagine a mail merge with “Dear MERGIE, Happy Holidays from everyone here at Acme Widget Co.” I am ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How can I find out if my gf only wants me for a green card?

I'm a US citizen and I began dating a girl from an online website. We've known each other for a month and have been officially dating for about two weeks. She told me on the second date that she ...
6
votes
1answer
621 views

Brother thinks no one wants to hang out with him

Two quick notes about my brother, 21M: His personality type is stubborn and borderline obnoxious at times He will help anyone with very little notice or thought The root of the problem is he ...
7
votes
5answers
792 views

How to tell a friend I don't want to continue giving him advice?

A friend of mine, who was one year behind in college and in the same graduate program, will soon graduate and is in the look out for a job. This friend has being asking me for advice (I'm very well ...
16
votes
2answers
813 views

How to tell someone you no longer wish to see them?

I currently have a friend that I’ve been talking to for many months. I find that it’s become draining on my emotional health to continue seeing them. In this case, I have developed feelings for them ...
4
votes
3answers
399 views

How to gracefully ask HOA residents about their experiences?

I am currently looking for a condominium and would like to ask the residents within the HOA (Home Owner Association) building about their experiences with said HOA. This most likely involves knocking ...
10
votes
3answers
619 views

How do I use body language to indicate that I am thinking?

My Problem When people give me large amounts of information, I will take plenty of time to process it before giving a response. The amount of time I take usually ranges from 30 seconds to a few ...
10
votes
7answers
926 views

How to Address My Weight in Conversations With Friends

I am a 38 y/o female and I am overweight (5'3", 210 lbs). I occasionally make remarks about my weight in conversations with friends. I don't do it in a self-deprecating way; I just mention it as a ...
8
votes
6answers
1k views

How to communicate your availability to relocate without sounding as a stalker?

I've recently met a person I am strongly attracted to. They rejected the idea of a date because "at the moment [they're] not emotionally available", since they recently came out of a long term ...
4
votes
1answer
330 views

How to convince co-home-owners to consult me on significant changes/purchases?

I live in the US and my wife and I share a house with my in-laws (and young daughter). We bought the house just over a year ago and myself, my wife and my in-laws are all co-owners. My wife and her ...
3
votes
3answers
520 views

How to be Polite without giving wrong signals (because this happened before!)

Few years ago I was super friendly to people (in office setting), and got unwanted attention. So much so that not only I cut off that person (directly said "I am not interested"), but cut off everyone ...
12
votes
2answers
605 views

How to politely deal with strangers who aggressively hand out religious tracts or preach to you seemingly out of nowhere?

This question is not being posted to get into a religion or freedom of speech debate, but rather present the idea that regardless of religious beliefs, aggressive and pushy behavior wrapped in the ...
6
votes
4answers
1k views

How to reveal debt to longtime boyfriend?

My boyfriend and I have been together for several years. We have never lived together in the same place, but have spent time together at each other's places. We're pretty serious now and I have ...
23
votes
4answers
1k views

Etiquette at communion for someone who is not religious

I'm an agnostic young adult living in America A few years ago my family and I were at a Lutheran church because my cousin was becoming a pastor. Throughout the whole ceremony I did what I saw others ...
7
votes
3answers
804 views

How can I signal to my friend that I'm open to talking about their obesity?

I have a close friend of several years who is overweight. I've been reading and thinking about the issue of obesity and how invisible it sometimes is - how difficult to discuss and yet how emotional ...
5
votes
2answers
2k views

Showing someone you are interested in a relationship but not ready to send nude

I'm a male in my early- to mid-20's who has recently connected with a female close to my age by finding her on a dating app. She preferred to have conversations on a separate app, popularly used for ...
-5
votes
1answer
651 views

How do I return inedible foods and not be charged, without offending staff? [closed]

I've had difficulties at only Chinese restaurants in Canada, Hong Kong, US, UK whenever I must return dishes. Their staff vigorously defend the dish, counter and deny my observations, get angry and ...
8
votes
2answers
587 views

A stranger on the street accidentaly dropped their wallet: if and how may I point it out to them?

While walking down the street I noticed another pedestrian, who was ahead of me, accidentally dropping his wallet. I did not stare at this wallet, of course, but it wasn't hard to notice that it ...
13
votes
3answers
1k views

Gently turning down undesired physical contact/setting boundaries in a nightclub environment

In many ways this question mirrors Asking a girl whether she would like to dance with me The setting: I am alone in a nightclub. I am located in a city/region known for being culturally progressive ...
4
votes
2answers
500 views

How to calm a person's fears about using a taxi to find and travel to work?

An acquaintance needs to find a decent-paying job in her field, because she and her husband have no savings and her husband has a life expectancy of around two years. She is 50 and they have two ...
6
votes
2answers
649 views

How can I help my friend accept that the relationship is over?

After 9 months into the relationship, my early 20's friend just got dumped. She thought he was the one. He'd say things like "I've never felt this way with anyone before," or "I could see myself being ...
6
votes
1answer
328 views

How can I tell if I'm being a bother when asking for help?

I started a new job several weeks ago and like with any new job, I have no idea what I'm doing. I have a "mentor"--somebody on the team who's designated to helping get me up to speed with everything--...
6
votes
3answers
734 views

How to be a good backseat driver

I have a lot of experience with highway driving that most of my friends don't have. Rules (from the USA) like only drive in the left lane when you are passing - ie. slow traffic keep right and never ...
10
votes
2answers
424 views

How to respond to loud people in workplace?

TL;DR: People in my academic department office like to talk loudly, and today, there was boisterous laughing, which caused me to lose concentration. How do I indicate that they need to quiet down, ...
12
votes
2answers
974 views

Tactfully declining a family Thanksgiving invitation

That time of year is approaching once again. Tis' the season for social obligation, and my cousin has already started in about Thanksgiving via text messages. This year has brought a bit of a twist in ...
8
votes
3answers
913 views

How to avoid shaking hands?

I recently developed dyshidrosis, which makes my palms look disgusting. So I don't want to show my hands to anybody to see. People often do not looking at the hands when shaking, and this eczema ...