Podcast #128: We chat with Kent C Dodds about why he loves React and discuss what life was like in the dark days before Git. Listen now.

Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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40
votes
4answers
22k views

Two people from small group of friends want to have a “meeting” with me. The circumstances are strange and give me a bad feeling

I have a small group of friends that get together and hangout. Usually we hangout on Fridays. We usually go to the same person's home. One person from this group (call him Bob) contacted me. He said ...
-10
votes
0answers
268 views

How can I open the dialogue between me and a company when relations are tenuous? [closed]

I'm pretty involved in an online community that's always doing its best to make changes to their platform in an attempt to reach a larger audience and help a greater number of people. Recently they ...
8
votes
2answers
919 views

How to explain to roommate from India if I'm with a guest it's not a good time to discuss roommate issues?

I live in a shared house in the US. Generally speaking it's very nice and the people I share it with are nice. There's a young lady from India who I noticed has very different views than I do. She ...
149
votes
3answers
22k views

I was mistakenly identified as a criminal, and this has caused rumors. How can I convince my friends that it is all a mistake?

A while ago, I was at a popular, busy local nightclub (this is in the Unites States) and ran into a friend of a friend. Let's call her Anne. After a bit of conversation with Anne, and mutual name-...
5
votes
1answer
305 views

Is it acceptable to ask about visitation or memorial service for a funeral?

A family friend's wife died and they were very poor. I'm planning to call him soon, but I'm still hesitant about asking for visitation or memorial service. The only reason I think it could be rude/...
11
votes
3answers
1k views

How do I determine my boss's position on transgender rights?

I am a transwoman. I am in the closet. I am starting to transition so staying in the closet long-term isn't an option. Before I come out of the closet I would like to gauge how I think people are ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

Asking my partner why they don't want me to pleasure them

Whenever we are intimate, my partner never lets me pleasure them. If I try to continue after I'm done, they just shoot me down with something like "it's OK," or "you don't need to,", or "don't worry ...
4
votes
1answer
1k views

How to negotiate about drying clothes with someone from a culture who isn't used to it?

I live in a shared house. Recently someone from India moved in. Though we have an electric clothes dryer, some of my clothes are not suitable to put inside. For example, a few dress pants, swimsuit, ...
3
votes
0answers
217 views

How to handle a professor disrupting workspace peace? [closed]

So I'm currently an international (Latin) grad student at some US university and wanted to know how to improve my current work space situation. I share an office with another 2 Chinese grad students, ...
1
vote
0answers
516 views

Without speaking to me, roommate complained to landlord and got him to make “new rules” [closed]

I live in a shared home. I share a bathroom with one other person and the kitchen with 2 other people. It is very independent. We only see each other in passing. At the beginning of last month one ...
10
votes
2answers
1k views

How can I ask my opposite-sex acquaintance to go to a museum with me?

I recently moved to a new city and there is a girl who I am interested in having a friendship with. I see her everyday besides weekends in orchestra where I usually make some mild chatter with her, ...
7
votes
1answer
2k views

New roommate from India does something to make bathroom smell really bad

Where I live I share the bathroom with one other person. The person who I share it with recently changed and someone from India moved in. He said he's new to the country and just arrived recently. I ...
8
votes
1answer
840 views

Tactfully avoiding sharing food with a friend

Note: one of my best friends is in this situation with her friends, so I'm asking this question for her (from her perspective). I have a friend, Alice, who I was very close with in college. We'd ...
0
votes
2answers
96 views

Best way to advertise an outreach event last-minute [closed]

I work for a consulting firm and have planned and organized an outreach event at the suggestion of the managing partner. It will take place in a public library, in a meeting room. This is a free event ...
6
votes
1answer
796 views

How can I reject volunteers that aren't a great fit for the job?

I am involved with a local SF con, and I will be running the Info Desk, which has been defunct for a few years. (Volunteer Desk guy would try to handle questions while doing everything else he did, ...
39
votes
6answers
16k views

What is Soda Fountain Etiquette?

The other day I was walking with my cup to the Soda Fountain1 at a restaurant. Someone was already using the fountain, but the drink they were getting was on the far right side, while what I wanted ...
6
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I email a former schoolmate who starred in porn if she needs my help, without being creepy or spooking her?

21 y.o. alumna from my nephew's high school starred in some porn last year. He overheard some ladies talking at supermarket, and didn't believe them – until he watched them online to verify himself. ...
21
votes
3answers
4k views

How to avoid a lengthy conversation with someone from the neighborhood I don't share interests with

I'm here on behalf of my neighbor, who we'll call Betty. She is a 40 year old woman and she has some issues dealing with one of her neighbors, also a woman, but who is 20 years old. Let's call her ...
15
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I approach telling guests not to overstay their welcome?

I had a game night last night and two of my sister's friends came and played, one is male and 20, call him B, and the other is a female ~18 years old, call her L. When my husband was finishing his ...
-2
votes
1answer
637 views

How to get my adult son to stop criticizing his Dad (me) [closed]

Here are three sentences describing what it is that I'm looking for help with: I'm looking for a way to get across to my adult son that I can no longer tolerate his abusive behavior (criticism/...
0
votes
1answer
267 views

Band mates / roommates unwilling to share our rehearsal space and equipment

I'm a member of a band, band "A", which has played together for over a year. For the past year, band "A" has been basically the only musical project for all of the members. We just started renting a ...
14
votes
3answers
1k views

How can I encourage cleaner habits to my partner?

Background I've been seeing my partner for a few years now. We are both young adults, have busy but stable jobs, and have our own living spaces. We have a very loving and supportive relationship. My ...
16
votes
1answer
1k views

How to help my child come out as a trans woman to extended family?

My daughter was brave enough to come out to us that she is a woman. That story is on Parenting SE. My daughter would like to come out to the extended family well before the holidays so that people ...
8
votes
1answer
742 views

Discussing my noisy pet with the neighbors

My SO and I moved into a duplex house a few weeks ago. This past weekend we got a new pet, Finley. When Finley doesn't like something we're doing, he'll scream. Loud. It's actually rather ear-...
6
votes
1answer
485 views

Helping my mom accept that I can't be available as much as she wants

My mom moved to the same city as my wife and I about 5 years ago. It's always been a bit rocky, but there is probably one theme that comes up the most regularly. To put it simply, her expectations ...
6
votes
1answer
534 views

How do I correct someone using the incorrect plural?

I am working with / instructing a new intern who is frequently using the incorrect plural of a technical term, for example, ‘Gooses’ instead of ‘Geese’. I’m fine giving him technical instruction ...
31
votes
7answers
11k views

Different budgets within roommate group

I'm a third-year student/ junior at a US university, and I'm about to move into an apartment with three friends of mine. The main reason I wanted to move was to save money, and I thought this was the ...
11
votes
2answers
1k views

Happy Juneteenth?

I recently learned about Juneteenth. For anyone not familiar: Juneteenth is the oldest nationally celebrated commemoration of the ending of slavery in the United States. From its Galveston, Texas ...
9
votes
1answer
775 views

How to get roommate to be respectful, when communication has no effect?

I'm a college student living in a small city in the US. I am currently sharing an apartment with two other women (Jane and Mary), both in their early 20s. We each have our own bedroom but share a ...
7
votes
1answer
629 views

Working to resolve a safety issue after having been lied to by the person responsible

Background A couple sinkholes have appeared in a drainage area behind my house, which is surrounded by other houses in our neighborhood. The area is normally flat, dry, and grassy, so I used to play ...
3
votes
3answers
624 views

What is the proper workplace etiquette for saying goodbye to a higher ranking coworker that you almost never interact with?

One of my colleagues is quitting his job and our supervisor has invited us to his adieu at a nearby restaurant. I cannot go there but would like to be polite enough to say goodbye to him. We were ...
3
votes
1answer
841 views

How to break a two year old glacier!

I’ve moved to the US from Iran two years and a half ago and started my current job two years ago. I had severe depression and anxiety when I started my job, which led to low performance and so many ...
52
votes
3answers
9k views

How to decline physical affection from a child whose parents are pressuring them?

My Situation I am an uncle to 6 nieces and nephews. I live about 1000 miles away from the rest of my family, so I only see them 2-3 times each year. When it comes time to say goodbye, it is common ...
6
votes
1answer
459 views

Communicating that I don't appreciate being repeatedly pressed to do something

A close family member, Ann, has been trying to get me to do XYZ for years. She'll text me every now and then asking if I've done it yet. Every time we see each other she'll no doubt bring it up. She's ...
8
votes
3answers
928 views

Contacting a friend when I haven't heard from them in weeks

Background Online I got some friends who I regularly play games with, these aren't just people on the internet you meet for me. I know a lot of things about them and we've been friends for a long ...
4
votes
1answer
580 views

How do I tell authorities that my narcissistic father is emotionally blackmailing my sister?

Refer to question that led me to ask this question How to call out narcissistic father on emotionally blackmailing my sister I am considering calling the police station to explain my situation and ...
6
votes
1answer
640 views

How do I call out (tell him his behavior is unacceptable) a narcissistic father?

TL;DR: I want to communicate to my narcissistic father that it is unacceptable that he is attempting to blackmail my sister. Refer to my past questions for more information regarding my father and ...
2
votes
0answers
579 views

Man asking for food on the street would only talk to my girlfriend [closed]

While in Nashville TN my girlfriend and I were approached by a man asking for money or food. We were walking down the street and he approached us from my side and asked if we could help him. I ...
5
votes
1answer
519 views

How to respond to people who don't believe where you're from? [closed]

I've observed situations like this occurring to a friend of mine (let's call him X): Stranger: Where are you from? X: [insert southeast asian country here] Stranger: Are you sure? ... On ...
6
votes
5answers
830 views

How to introduce someone to a recruiter that I've worked with before?

When I was looking for a new job around 8 months ago I worked with an agency recruiter - the type that shops your resume around, not an in-house recruiter - to get some interviews. Working with them ...
23
votes
3answers
2k views

How to tactfully respond to compliments when I don't feel I deserve them?

I'm the most senior developer on my current team, and I often get asked for help by my teammates. Sometimes when they ask for help, it's with something that I think is fairly obvious or easy to do. ...
1
vote
1answer
845 views

How can I ask this girl out when she's giving me mixed signals (and other various obstacles)? [closed]

I'm going to try to make this short, but there's quite a bit of stuff to explain. Background information: Me: Male, 17, Junior Her: Female, 17 (assumed), Junior Situation: So, this girl moved ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

How to open up a conversation with an SO about a possibly inappropriate action?

My husband and I are both white. My husband recently asked a black woman if he could touch her hair. She said yes, and he was delighted. This woman works at a gas station we frequent, so we have seen ...
18
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I lay out my reasons to my girlfriend for why we shouldn't get married?

My girlfriend isn't a citizen of the US and I am. We've also have only been dating for 4 months. So when we first started dating she said that if I wasn't ready for commitment in the range of 1-3 ...
23
votes
5answers
2k views

Why do people expect me to feel exactly the same as they do?

Background My fiancee and I recently had a small argument over the following text exchange F: I wish I could have seen you tonight. Me: I would have liked to see you tonight too. F: I ...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I ask someone in a quiet library to stop clearing their throat?

I have ADHD and as such have terrible difficulty maintaining my concentration, especially when working on homework. Because of this, I often like to work on the "quiet floor" of my university's ...
2
votes
1answer
227 views

What is the etiquette for leaving after a stay with an unexpected host? [closed]

Say you go with a few friends on a night out, downtown fairly far from where you live. Afterwards, rather than dealing with how to get home, a friend of a friend offers the couch in their shared ...
6
votes
2answers
613 views

How to tell foreigners they don't need to speak English when near me?

Background At my university we have a library building for students to meet other students and discuss/study amongst themselves. It's rather large and people from all sorts of backgrounds can be ...
2
votes
1answer
323 views

How do I request a different hairdresser?

When I get my hair cut I always go to the same chain location, because it's on my way home from work and convenient. I don't have a particular stylist, so I don't make an appointment and just walk in ...
3
votes
1answer
357 views

Parents fighting a lot recently, and aren't 'dealing' with the problem causing it to blow up next time - How do I get them to work it out?

My parents are the two best people I know. They both love each other, and wouldn't dream about even considering getting a divorce. But sometimes they lose sight of that. Recently, they've been getting ...