Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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How do I bring my family back together?

I am in my last year of school. Over the course of the last year, my 14 y/o brother has quit every activity he took part in and currently leaves the house less than once per week (homeschooled). ...
6
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1answer
87 views

How do I effectively convey to a family member that tipping a certain amount is expected?

In the United States, it is customary to tip anywhere between 18-25% for "regular" service in restaurants (though from experience, people - myself included - usually aim for 20%). In extreme cases, ...
75
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23answers
24k views

Is it rude to ask someone where they are from originally? [closed]

Introduction This question is different from this excellent one, since it is not about tourists. The differences will become clear later on, I hope. I will, as usual, use fake names (Alice and Eve ...
3
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2answers
570 views

How to convey interest after I've declined multiple invitations?

My neighbor who lives across the hall from me in my apartment building is clearly trying to extend an olive branch of friendship. We met at a community gathering for residents a little over a month ...
40
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2answers
23k views

Two people from small group of friends want to have a “meeting” with me. The circumstances are strange and give me a bad feeling

I have a small group of friends that get together and hangout. Usually we hangout on Fridays. We usually go to the same person's home. One person from this group (call him Bob) contacted me. He said ...
73
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10answers
25k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip?

A situation came up with my girlfriend where I drove her to an event that she needed to go to that was a two hour drive away (so a four hour round trip). After we got back, I charged her for half of ...
23
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5answers
4k views

How to deal with a possibly abusive stranger?

Recently, I was on a trip to a town that I didn’t know well. I play Pokemon GO, which has “raids,” a sort of social feature that requires people to gather in one place to coordinate in-game activities....
20
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1answer
2k views

How to help my child come out as a trans woman to extended family?

My daughter was brave enough to come out to us that she is a woman. That story is on Parenting SE. My daughter would like to come out to the extended family well before the holidays so that people ...
93
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5answers
13k views

How to help a male-presenting person shop for women's clothes?

I'm a new store manager for a women's clothing store and I have been receiving male-presenting customers that are looking for women's clothes for themselves. I want to give them the best, supportive ...
36
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13answers
17k views

How do I respond to catching someone in an embarrassing situation?

There are no religious or other prejudices against / bans on onanism, so this is not an issue. It's just about the awkwardness of the situation. This happened some time ago and I still wonder what I ...
9
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2answers
971 views

How to explain to roommate from India if I'm with a guest it's not a good time to discuss roommate issues?

I live in a shared house in the US. Generally speaking it's very nice and the people I share it with are nice. There's a young lady from India who I noticed has very different views than I do. She ...
149
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3answers
22k views

I was mistakenly identified as a criminal, and this has caused rumors. How can I convince my friends that it is all a mistake?

A while ago, I was at a popular, busy local nightclub (this is in the Unites States) and ran into a friend of a friend. Let's call her Anne. After a bit of conversation with Anne, and mutual name-...
5
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1answer
315 views

Is it acceptable to ask about visitation or memorial service for a funeral?

A family friend's wife died and they were very poor. I'm planning to call him soon, but I'm still hesitant about asking for visitation or memorial service. The only reason I think it could be rude/...
4
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6answers
6k views

How to avoid wishing my coworker on her birthday? [closed]

My coworker has been announcing that her birthday is coming soon. I work in a small office with only five employees. I like her but I don't want to wish her because I don't believe in birthdays. Never ...
12
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3answers
1k views

How do I determine my boss's position on transgender rights?

I am a transwoman. I am in the closet. I am starting to transition so staying in the closet long-term isn't an option. Before I come out of the closet I would like to gauge how I think people are ...
39
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12answers
27k views

Talking to boyfriend about his close female friends

About our relationship: My boyfriend and I have been together happily for two years now. We both love each other very much and we're always growing closer. We're planning to move in together in a few ...
9
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1answer
2k views

Asking my partner why they don't want me to pleasure them

Whenever we are intimate, my partner never lets me pleasure them. If I try to continue after I'm done, they just shoot me down with something like "it's OK," or "you don't need to,", or "don't worry ...
18
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2answers
2k views

How can I lay out my reasons to my girlfriend for why we shouldn't get married?

My girlfriend isn't a citizen of the US and I am. We've also have only been dating for 4 months. So when we first started dating she said that if I wasn't ready for commitment in the range of 1-3 ...
31
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7answers
11k views

Different budgets within roommate group

I'm a third-year student/ junior at a US university, and I'm about to move into an apartment with three friends of mine. The main reason I wanted to move was to save money, and I thought this was the ...
4
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1answer
1k views

How to negotiate about drying clothes with someone from a culture who isn't used to it?

I live in a shared house. Recently someone from India moved in. Though we have an electric clothes dryer, some of my clothes are not suitable to put inside. For example, a few dress pants, swimsuit, ...
3
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0answers
219 views

How to handle a professor disrupting workspace peace? [closed]

So I'm currently an international (Latin) grad student at some US university and wanted to know how to improve my current work space situation. I share an office with another 2 Chinese grad students, ...
23
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5answers
2k views

Why do people expect me to feel exactly the same as they do?

Background My fiancee and I recently had a small argument over the following text exchange F: I wish I could have seen you tonight. Me: I would have liked to see you tonight too. F: I ...
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0answers
521 views

Without speaking to me, roommate complained to landlord and got him to make “new rules” [closed]

I live in a shared home. I share a bathroom with one other person and the kitchen with 2 other people. It is very independent. We only see each other in passing. At the beginning of last month one ...
10
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2answers
1k views

How can I ask my opposite-sex acquaintance to go to a museum with me?

I recently moved to a new city and there is a girl who I am interested in having a friendship with. I see her everyday besides weekends in orchestra where I usually make some mild chatter with her, ...
7
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1answer
2k views

New roommate from India does something to make bathroom smell really bad

Where I live I share the bathroom with one other person. The person who I share it with recently changed and someone from India moved in. He said he's new to the country and just arrived recently. I ...
20
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1answer
16k views

How do I deal with a neighbor who stopped talking to me?

I recently moved from 20 years in an isolated location (no neighbors in sight) to a suburban neighborhood (we can all easily see into each other's windows.) This alone made me anxious; meeting and ...
8
votes
1answer
851 views

Tactfully avoiding sharing food with a friend

Note: one of my best friends is in this situation with her friends, so I'm asking this question for her (from her perspective). I have a friend, Alice, who I was very close with in college. We'd ...
39
votes
6answers
16k views

What is Soda Fountain Etiquette?

The other day I was walking with my cup to the Soda Fountain1 at a restaurant. Someone was already using the fountain, but the drink they were getting was on the far right side, while what I wanted ...
0
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2answers
96 views

Best way to advertise an outreach event last-minute [closed]

I work for a consulting firm and have planned and organized an outreach event at the suggestion of the managing partner. It will take place in a public library, in a meeting room. This is a free event ...
6
votes
1answer
801 views

How can I reject volunteers that aren't a great fit for the job?

I am involved with a local SF con, and I will be running the Info Desk, which has been defunct for a few years. (Volunteer Desk guy would try to handle questions while doing everything else he did, ...
23
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3answers
2k views

How to tactfully respond to compliments when I don't feel I deserve them?

I'm the most senior developer on my current team, and I often get asked for help by my teammates. Sometimes when they ask for help, it's with something that I think is fairly obvious or easy to do. ...
19
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4answers
6k views

Two friends and their wedlocked affair

I currently live in a house with 3 other people, my girlfriend Julie, and 2 friends Bob and John. Outside of our household, we have a friend named Jane, who is our only friend that is married in our ...
131
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18answers
23k views

How to get spouse to empathetically listen to problems instead of offering solutions?

My spouse and I have a recurring problem. I will try to talk about my day, which may include a tough problem that has been frustrating me. Before I've even had a chance to explain what is going on, he ...
31
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7answers
13k views

How to make someone respect your time when making plans without being rude?

Ok, here is my situation. I met this guy a few months ago, we met a couple of times (not dating, just as friends). We don't talk often but every once in a month or two he suggests that we would get ...
6
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2answers
2k views

How can I email a former schoolmate who starred in porn if she needs my help, without being creepy or spooking her?

21 y.o. alumna from my nephew's high school starred in some porn last year. He overheard some ladies talking at supermarket, and didn't believe them – until he watched them online to verify himself. ...
15
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3answers
2k views

How do I approach telling guests not to overstay their welcome?

I had a game night last night and two of my sister's friends came and played, one is male and 20, call him B, and the other is a female ~18 years old, call her L. When my husband was finishing his ...
21
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3answers
4k views

How to avoid a lengthy conversation with someone from the neighborhood I don't share interests with

I'm here on behalf of my neighbor, who we'll call Betty. She is a 40 year old woman and she has some issues dealing with one of her neighbors, also a woman, but who is 20 years old. Let's call her ...
11
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2answers
2k views

How can I ask someone in a quiet library to stop clearing their throat?

I have ADHD and as such have terrible difficulty maintaining my concentration, especially when working on homework. Because of this, I often like to work on the "quiet floor" of my university's ...
19
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8answers
8k views

Message being seen but not responded, what is the correct response?

I will sometimes ask a friend how their day was or another question via chat message. Sometimes the message will be marked as read but then they don't respond for a few day or even longer (6 months). ...
82
votes
14answers
31k views

How to enforce a “No Shoes” policy in my apartment?

I like to keep my apartment floor clean, as I enjoy walking around with bare feet after a shower without having to worry about them becoming dirty. As such, I don't like shoes beyond the doorway in my ...
17
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4answers
3k views

Is this a good way (with respect to time) to disclose an STD to a potential partner? [closed]

Background I have HSV1 on my genitals; I don't get mouth sores. I got the diagnosis a couple of years ago. I've dated several people since then. I kissed my first potential partner (since the ...
83
votes
10answers
27k views

How do I gently reject an indecent proposal?

Background People: Bob, John and Alice are old acquaintances of mine. They are a little older than me, mid-to-late twenties. We are not close friends, but we get along together well and see each ...
14
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3answers
1k views

How can I encourage cleaner habits to my partner?

Background I've been seeing my partner for a few years now. We are both young adults, have busy but stable jobs, and have our own living spaces. We have a very loving and supportive relationship. My ...
-2
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1answer
642 views

How to get my adult son to stop criticizing his Dad (me) [closed]

Here are three sentences describing what it is that I'm looking for help with: I'm looking for a way to get across to my adult son that I can no longer tolerate his abusive behavior (criticism/...
44
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5answers
11k views

How can I ask a possible long-lost relative to prove his identity?

I found myself in a peculiar situation yesterday. I was contacted via Facebook by a person (let's call him Bob) who claimed that he was one of my mom's cousins and hadn't talked to her in over 40 ...
0
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1answer
267 views

Band mates / roommates unwilling to share our rehearsal space and equipment

I'm a member of a band, band "A", which has played together for over a year. For the past year, band "A" has been basically the only musical project for all of the members. We just started renting a ...
8
votes
3answers
929 views

Contacting a friend when I haven't heard from them in weeks

Background Online I got some friends who I regularly play games with, these aren't just people on the internet you meet for me. I know a lot of things about them and we've been friends for a long ...
8
votes
1answer
745 views

Discussing my noisy pet with the neighbors

My SO and I moved into a duplex house a few weeks ago. This past weekend we got a new pet, Finley. When Finley doesn't like something we're doing, he'll scream. Loud. It's actually rather ear-...
38
votes
12answers
16k views

How does one respond to statements like “It's all yours”? [closed]

There's a coffee-dispensing machine (similar in concept to a Keurig) in my apartment lobby for use by the tenants. As coffee is a popular morning beverage, occasionally I have to wait behind one or ...
7
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4answers
1k views

How can I signal to my friend that I'm open to talking about their obesity?

I have a close friend of several years who is overweight. I've been reading and thinking about the issue of obesity and how invisible it sometimes is - how difficult to discuss and yet how emotional ...