Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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5
votes
1answer
289 views

How do I talk about money with my partner when they get uncomfortable about the topic?

The Background My partner and I have been together for a significant amount of time, 8 years soon, and are planning to get married (within a few years due to busy schedules and graduate school). I ...
2
votes
2answers
400 views

How to pay back a friend who refuses to take money?

Due to some uncertainties in my housing situation my friend let me couch surf at his apartment for two months. I've found an apartment now and will be moving out soon. I keep insisting to let me pay ...
10
votes
5answers
9k views

When should I make eye contact with someone I intend to walk past?

I am an adult male living in the US, in case it matters. Anyway, there's something I do when walking past people on a (not too busy) sidewalk or in a hallway, where I will make eye contact with them,...
3
votes
1answer
613 views

How to better handle my friends passive aggressive comments, preferably so there'll be less/none at all?

I'm a millennial and a lot (too many) of my friends were those who were of the opinion that, immediately following the 2016 election, the best way to demonstrate how much they value love, tolerance, ...
12
votes
3answers
9k views

How can I find out if my gf only wants me for a green card?

I'm a US citizen and I began dating a girl from an online website. We've known each other for a month and have been officially dating for about two weeks. She told me on the second date that she ...
13
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I determine my boss's position on transgender rights?

I am a transwoman. I am in the closet. I am starting to transition so staying in the closet long-term isn't an option. Before I come out of the closet I would like to gauge how I think people are ...
65
votes
9answers
14k views

How can I tell my mom to not cause herself so much stress when I'm visiting?

Situation I visit my parents about one time per month, for one to two days. Sometimes I manage to visit them twice, in rare cases I have to skip a month. So we see each other in person regularly (and,...
0
votes
2answers
397 views

What is the maximum interaction where saying goodbye is unnecessary in the US?

Often when you meet people on the street you may opt to say "Hi" and then be on your way. To my understanding this is not considered a rude behavior. It is also common to greet someone have ...
20
votes
4answers
5k views

Does the food or drink item brought to a potluck need to be large enough to serve everyone?

Tomorrow I'll be going to a potluck that will be attended by around 20 people. I'm not good at cooking, so I'm planning on bringing something from a bakery. What is the etiquette with regards to the ...
2
votes
2answers
652 views

How to decide whether or not to be persistent in pursuit of a relationship?

I am trying to create some lines through this gray area. I feel that there are times when being persistent and showing someone you are interested is attractive since to varying degrees people like ...
6
votes
2answers
858 views

How to make my relationship partner not get gradually lazier over time, without having to scare him with the idea that I might break up with him?

My boyfriend and I (age range 26-30, I'm the older one) have been together for two months now and for the most part it was great, we have similar interests, we do things together often, and we make ...
26
votes
3answers
12k views

How to tell a busy professor that I don't mind if he answers my questions when he has time?

I am self-studying a course. Two years ago I began to use some lectures by a professor from the United States (I'm from a different country). He is retired now. While watching his lectures, I began to ...
3
votes
1answer
855 views

How do I convince someone to not get revenge?

Summary and details of the problem I have a friend who is pretending to be the girlfriend of a rich closeted gay guy. I think I can empathize why they are doing this. She enjoys being the talk among ...
9
votes
5answers
6k views

How to tell a friend their music is awful?

I have a friend who has been pouring his heart & soul into starting a rap career for the past 3 or 4 years. One day while hanging out with him at his flat, he plays me some of his new music from ...
-4
votes
1answer
706 views

How to Apologize to a Professor After a Falling-Out? [closed]

Some background: Our falling out occurred when I wrote a letter to the department chair, complaining that her communications triggered an anxiety episode on a few occasions. This letter was prompted ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

How to talk to my wife regarding educating children about religion?

I was raised Roman Catholic, however I don't really follow any organized religion. I have my own beliefs regarding Deity, but don't attend a recognized (or unrecognized for that matter) religious ...
31
votes
7answers
8k views

How to nicely reject someone who is hitting on you in the United States?

The other day I was on the bus and this girl awkwardly walked up to me and started talking to me. She then gave me her number. I wasn't really interested in interacting more with her, so I pretended ...
3
votes
2answers
1k views

How do I effectively challenge the teacher's bias without coming off as a jerk to the rest of the class?

In my situation, our school had us talk about racial justice and the teacher asked everybody to be respectful and have an open mind. He then presented a slideshow (Fairly sure it wasn’t made by him), ...
83
votes
14answers
34k views

How to enforce a "No Shoes" policy in my apartment?

I like to keep my apartment floor clean, as I enjoy walking around with bare feet after a shower without having to worry about them becoming dirty. As such, I don't like shoes beyond the doorway in my ...
2
votes
2answers
297 views

What is the proper etiquette for when someone you're not very close with is dealing with a terminally ill family member?

I'm currently enrolled in graduate school. I've been having a lot of trouble getting in touch with my advisor recently. He finally responded with apologies that he has been dealing with a terminally ...
2
votes
1answer
408 views

How do I regain rapport with a recruiter whose phone screen meeting I missed?

Background Today I had a scheduling mishap for a phone screening with a recruiter. She had the meeting scheduled at 1:30 p.m., and I sincerely thought it was scheduled at 3:00p.m. I work in an area ...
78
votes
11answers
28k views

How do I tell students at a school I volunteer at to stop flirting with me?

Occasionally, I head out to volunteer to teach robotics programming at an all-girls school in my area. For context, I'm male and age 20, and the students are adolescent females in 7th and 8th grade (...
23
votes
8answers
18k views

How do I politely tell a stranger to stop making annoying noises I can't name?

Background I've encountered this problem several times and under different circumstances. It really annoys me when people constantly make noises with their mouth. Now, I can't name them and they come ...
32
votes
4answers
7k views

Etiquette regarding borrowing of power tools

Based on television shows, it seems borrowing tools from neighbors is a potential minefield. I need to power wash my front and back porches and the siding of my house. My neighbor has a power washer ...
11
votes
1answer
719 views

How to ask girlfriend to set healthy boundaries with her dog?

My girlfriend of eight months has a seven-year-old chihuahua mix that is extremely jealous, if not needy. When I first started dating gf, whenever we needed some cuddle time, she would have the dog ...
0
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I convince my sister's husband to switch to boxer shorts?

At a recent family gathering, my younger sister asked me for help. She and her husband have been trying to conceive a child but have been unsuccessful. After going to a fertility doctor, they got ...
-1
votes
4answers
1k views

personal attack because of a political comment

We're 5 couples that known each other for many years and we decided to have a breakfast in a nice park. During the breakfast we spoke about the US election on a very intellectual level and one of the ...
1
vote
3answers
2k views

What's the etiquette for addressing a friend's partner or family in a greeting card?

I'm sending holiday greeting cards for the first time to friends, among whom some live with their partners (unmarried). I am not friends with their partners but consider myself on good terms with them,...
11
votes
3answers
1k views

What is the proper etiquette with regards to reciprocating Thanksgiving dinner invitations?

A little bit of background: I am an international graduate student at a university in the US. A domestic friend invited me to his apartment to celebrate Thanksgiving Day and we had a great time on ...
7
votes
4answers
1k views

Is it customary in the US not to say "bye" after a phone call? [closed]

I am French and we end our phone conversations with the equivalent of a "bye". I noticed however that in most of the US movies or TV series (especially the police/action ones), the callers ...
14
votes
2answers
5k views

How can we get a landscaper to stop blowing leaves into our yard?

My parents live on a somewhat busy but narrow two-lane road. Across the street from them lives an old couple whom we're on good terms with; in the past, they've helped us out with things, and we've ...
22
votes
3answers
7k views

How do I politely turn down requests to show wedding photos?

I got married recently and have changed my name at work. People have noticed and are now asking for wedding photos. How do I tell them politely that no, I'm not going to show them? Lying and saying I ...
23
votes
7answers
12k views

How can I tell someone that their teasing is hurting my feelings?

There are times and situations that teasing someone can create a bond of friendship and that the bond created is a result of a well-meaning intention to prepare a person for what they might encounter ...
13
votes
6answers
2k views

How can I politely tell parents of kids to stop playing with my son's toys/equipment to give him and his friends a chance?

Quite often we go to the park, or host a party and we have a few things like Stomp Rockets or Jumpers or other such things/toys. There are quite a few kids who look at longingly and want to come over (...
9
votes
6answers
4k views

How can my cousin restore harmony between his Indian mother and American mother-in-law?

Someone asked me in a comment, what is my role in all this? Good question. I am not at all close with Aunt but I am close with my cousin (son of Aunt) and he needs help to keep his mother and mother-...
38
votes
3answers
12k views

How can I handle a bisexual friend whom I think is attracted to me?

As some background, I go to a co-ed boarding high school. I have a girlfriend back home and am straight. My wing in the dorms is filled with a large collection of my friends. We're close- we play ...
12
votes
1answer
920 views

Relative emailed me demanding to know my political views because they disliked my wife's Facebook posts

This morning I received an email from a relative demanding that I state my political viewpoints on a hot-button topic in US politics because his political views are opposite from those that are being ...
4
votes
1answer
653 views

Roommate started new job and using Skype a lot in common areas

A few months ago I moved into a new home. I share it with 2 other people. One of my roommates started a new job recently. She worked in the office the first week but told me she prefers to work from ...
165
votes
9answers
40k views

As a pedestrian, how to get someone to stop following you in a car?

Sorry, I just never had these situations occur until I moved into a neighborhood. Usually, we (well, my dogs) get most of our exercise in a large, unused field near my house. The people on our way ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

Out of the blue, my friend was very rude to me in public. How can I tell him I need an apology or explanation if we are to be friends again?

I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. We went to a couple pubs downtown. From the amount I saw him drink, I don't think he was drunk, though I guess I could be wrong. It seemed he tried to ...
11
votes
8answers
9k views

How to gently tell people NOT to use a nickname for me

My name is Thomas. People often call me Tom, as that is a standard nickname for Thomas. However, I have always gone by my full name. I don't identify with the name Tom. When it is used, I have to ...
6
votes
1answer
915 views

How to convince adult child to pay for their keep

I’m asking advice for a close friend of ours. Let me give some background first. They have a 24 year old daughter that lives with them in the United States. She is the single mom of a 3 year old. ...
61
votes
15answers
26k views

Who should identify themself first on the phone: the caller or the person called?

This may be a generational thing. I was taught that the caller always identified himself first. The person answering says "hello", to establish that contact has been made, but is under no obligation ...
6
votes
4answers
3k views

How can I tell someone that possibly unwanted body skin is showing?

So the title sums it up, but let me provide an example so it has a bit of context. I am living and working in California in an accounting office, so lax business casual is the usual attire. I am a ...
2
votes
2answers
567 views

How to tell landlord I don't want him showing my room the day before and during my move

I am moving out of my home. The landlord sent me a message asking what time he can show the place on Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn't realize it right away, but Wednesday is the day I'm moving. I will ...
3
votes
1answer
526 views

How to approach a co-worker about stealing my sales?

I work in a small office where each of has our own set of clients that we have established relationships with over the years. I've recently moved desks and am now sitting almost side by side with ...
18
votes
1answer
3k views

Breaking up well

Long story short, my ex and I split on pretty poor terms a couple months ago. They cheated again, I moved out, and now they're moving in with the person they cheated with... I'm trying to "break up ...
6
votes
2answers
718 views

How do I balance saying no and being liked?

I often find myself in the following situation: a friend from work asks to borrow an object, such as a book or my bike or a piece of jewelry they might have seen me wear or money, to pay for food if ...
4
votes
2answers
428 views

Meeting new people and telling them my field of work X and they say they could never understand X or hated X in school? [closed]

I'm a graduate student in physics. When meeting new people (mutual acquaintances, workout groups, meeting random people while out and about), eventually the question is often asked: what do you do? I ...
8
votes
1answer
914 views

Working to resolve a safety issue after having been lied to by the person responsible

Background A couple sinkholes have appeared in a drainage area behind my house, which is surrounded by other houses in our neighborhood. The area is normally flat, dry, and grassy, so I used to play ...

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