Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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-1 votes
3 answers
599 views

Etiquette question regarding conveying enthusiasm in email communications - used in academic settings

I have a friendly, close relationship with these professors - we are research collaborators and communicate daily. Our communication scope on emails is never personal, it's strictly about research ...
23 votes
4 answers
21k views

How can I politely tell someone that they should take a shower?

When I was in college, myself and a few friends gathered weekly to play D&D together. One friend had weekly track & field sessions scheduled prior to our meet-ups. Usually, this wasn't an ...
81 votes
14 answers
36k views

How to enforce a "No Shoes" policy in my apartment?

I like to keep my apartment floor clean, as I enjoy walking around with bare feet after a shower without having to worry about them becoming dirty. As such, I don't like shoes beyond the doorway in my ...
4 votes
3 answers
2k views

How to Deal With A Manipulative and Pretentious Person

17-year-old male living in the U.S. here. I have a "friend" (Let's call him X) who I've known for 4 years and known well for 2 years. He is probably the most pretentious and manipulative ...
2 votes
1 answer
260 views

How to handle someone who repeatedly returns to previously-discussed points in conversations?

I was recently asked (by a family member) about an personal event I was planning. During the conversation, the person I was talking to kept pressing me for details on every conceivable aspect of the ...
18 votes
6 answers
9k views

How to communicate to someone that I want to keep a relationship casual?

I didn't see a related or similar question, but if you can find one, please link it and I'll close this. Background I had little experience in high school and college and learned some of my skills ...
1 vote
1 answer
784 views

How to amicably discuss how rent will be increasing to newly inherited tenants?

I already have a property where I inherited tenants, and increased rent. Although, it was only by $50 after six months. I also gave them a list of improvements to be done. I'm looking at acquiring a ...
24 votes
5 answers
4k views

How can I decline to help my teacher with their personal IT problem?

Background Note: Certain details have been changed for privacy's sake. I am the go-to person for tech help for my friends (and enemies), family, and teachers. I have helped everyone I know with ...
14 votes
2 answers
3k views

My dog and I offended a new neighbor. How do we make it right?

Things are hopping in the neighborhood with new neighbors and new problems. Some are hard to believe. With three dogs, the youngest (6 months old) with reactivity issues (which usually show up at ...
35 votes
13 answers
13k views

How to stop family from pushing me to forgive and forget?

(Some similarities to this question, except that I have explained, and my family is not on my side.) I have been avoiding / ignoring my sister for the past ~6 months, after she seriously hurt me. I ...
11 votes
5 answers
7k views

What is the etiquette for hosting your own birthday event? Who pays?

I've never really had anyone to celebrate my birthday with, so I don't have experience with party/gathering norms. This year I decided to be proactive and invite people out somewhere, maybe Topgolf[1] ...
19 votes
9 answers
5k views

Is there a general rule for when/how to compliment a stranger? [closed]

The title pretty much says it all, I know there are cases where giving compliments to strangers makes them uncomfortable (for example, catcalling), but as I understand it there is a separate set of ...
1 vote
0 answers
338 views

How can I get my mother to give me a copy of her will?

When my father died my sisters went to his home and met with his attorney without me. I did not see his will. My dad was wealthy, I received $2000 from my dad's bank, and I don't know what my sisters ...
22 votes
6 answers
19k views

How can I tell someone I don't like the way they speak?

I can't stand "cutesy voice". That is, people who put on a high pitched squeal when they talk, who choose to say things like "wuv" over "love" or say things that are dark in a cute way. It's made ...
1 vote
2 answers
741 views

Is it appropriate for foreigners to thank US veterans for their service?

I am a foreigner living in the USA. I sometimes come across veterans and I know that in the local culture it is custom to respectfully acknowledge their service. Nothing too fancy: Person A: "... ...
3 votes
1 answer
840 views

How could I apologize to my girlfriend's mom?

My girlfriend's mom is upset with me over girlfriend's decision on a car. Her position A car that's around 5 or 6 years old with more than 80k miles will just break down (~80k is high milage) Such a ...
3 votes
1 answer
460 views

How can two people with opposing & unwavering opinions again gather as a family without tension?

Players Noah & Emma are family as a result of their children marrying. Noah - Grandfather set in his ways and beliefs. Has strong influence over who can attend family gatherings. Emma - ...
92 votes
18 answers
33k views

Sketchy "friend" recently revealed true colors, is attending my wedding. Should I un-invite, and if so how?

I have a very tricky situation that has come up. I am getting married in two weeks (as the groom, age 39), and my fiancée (bride-to-be) has invited a close friend "Lucy" who is bringing her own ...
3 votes
3 answers
2k views

How to pay back a friend who refuses to take money?

Due to some uncertainties in my housing situation my friend let me couch surf at his apartment for two months. I've found an apartment now and will be moving out soon. I keep insisting to let me pay ...
8 votes
6 answers
3k views

How do I politely say no to a stranger asking to use my phone to make a personal call?

TL;DR A stranger approached me and asked me if they could use my phone. I didn't want to be rude and say no bluntly, so I wavered, and felt uncomfortable. How do I say no to strangers asking for use ...
21 votes
5 answers
4k views

When playing darts, how can I separate real players from random drunks?

I know my dart playing habits are a little odd... I usually hit my local bar alone, on an off night, grab a pint and head straight back to the dartboard in the back corner where I'm least likely to be ...
6 votes
2 answers
846 views

How to handle being laughed at in a room full of people in a foreign country?

Note: It has been well over 10 years since this happened, but I think about this more often than I am happy to admit. Background Story: When I was 15 I went for an exchange year in the US. I was a ...
43 votes
13 answers
72k views

Talking to boyfriend about his close female friends

About our relationship: My boyfriend and I have been together happily for two years now. We both love each other very much and we're always growing closer. We're planning to move in together in a few ...
5 votes
2 answers
803 views

How do I talk about money with my partner when they get uncomfortable about the topic?

The Background My partner and I have been together for a significant amount of time, 8 years soon, and are planning to get married (within a few years due to busy schedules and graduate school). I ...
7 votes
1 answer
3k views

New roommate from India does something to make bathroom smell really bad

Where I live I share the bathroom with one other person. The person who I share it with recently changed and someone from India moved in. He said he's new to the country and just arrived recently. I ...
11 votes
5 answers
14k views

When should I make eye contact with someone I intend to walk past?

I am an adult male living in the US, in case it matters. Anyway, there's something I do when walking past people on a (not too busy) sidewalk or in a hallway, where I will make eye contact with them,...
4 votes
1 answer
994 views

How to better handle my friends passive aggressive comments, preferably so there'll be less/none at all?

I'm a millennial and a lot (too many) of my friends were those who were of the opinion that, immediately following the 2016 election, the best way to demonstrate how much they value love, tolerance, ...
12 votes
3 answers
12k views

How can I find out if my gf only wants me for a green card?

I'm a US citizen and I began dating a girl from an online website. We've known each other for a month and have been officially dating for about two weeks. She told me on the second date that she ...
15 votes
3 answers
2k views

How do I determine my boss's position on transgender rights?

I am a transwoman. I am in the closet. I am starting to transition so staying in the closet long-term isn't an option. Before I come out of the closet I would like to gauge how I think people are ...
65 votes
9 answers
15k views

How can I tell my mom to not cause herself so much stress when I'm visiting?

Situation I visit my parents about one time per month, for one to two days. Sometimes I manage to visit them twice, in rare cases I have to skip a month. So we see each other in person regularly (and,...
0 votes
2 answers
472 views

What is the maximum interaction where saying goodbye is unnecessary in the US?

Often when you meet people on the street you may opt to say "Hi" and then be on your way. To my understanding this is not considered a rude behavior. It is also common to greet someone have ...
20 votes
4 answers
7k views

Does the food or drink item brought to a potluck need to be large enough to serve everyone?

Tomorrow I'll be going to a potluck that will be attended by around 20 people. I'm not good at cooking, so I'm planning on bringing something from a bakery. What is the etiquette with regards to the ...
2 votes
2 answers
983 views

How to decide whether or not to be persistent in pursuit of a relationship?

I am trying to create some lines through this gray area. I feel that there are times when being persistent and showing someone you are interested is attractive since to varying degrees people like ...
6 votes
2 answers
1k views

How to make my relationship partner not get gradually lazier over time, without having to scare him with the idea that I might break up with him?

My boyfriend and I (age range 26-30, I'm the older one) have been together for two months now and for the most part it was great, we have similar interests, we do things together often, and we make ...
26 votes
3 answers
14k views

How to tell a busy professor that I don't mind if he answers my questions when he has time?

I am self-studying a course. Two years ago I began to use some lectures by a professor from the United States (I'm from a different country). He is retired now. While watching his lectures, I began to ...
10 votes
5 answers
10k views

How to tell a friend their music is awful?

I have a friend who has been pouring his heart & soul into starting a rap career for the past 3 or 4 years. One day while hanging out with him at his flat, he plays me some of his new music from ...
9 votes
1 answer
2k views

How to talk to my wife regarding educating children about religion?

I was raised Roman Catholic, however I don't really follow any organized religion. I have my own beliefs regarding Deity, but don't attend a recognized (or unrecognized for that matter) religious ...
29 votes
7 answers
9k views

How to nicely reject someone who is hitting on you in the United States?

The other day I was on the bus and this girl awkwardly walked up to me and started talking to me. She then gave me her number. I wasn't really interested in interacting more with her, so I pretended ...
3 votes
2 answers
1k views

How do I effectively challenge the teacher's bias without coming off as a jerk to the rest of the class?

In my situation, our school had us talk about racial justice and the teacher asked everybody to be respectful and have an open mind. He then presented a slideshow (Fairly sure it wasn’t made by him), ...
2 votes
2 answers
343 views

What is the proper etiquette for when someone you're not very close with is dealing with a terminally ill family member?

I'm currently enrolled in graduate school. I've been having a lot of trouble getting in touch with my advisor recently. He finally responded with apologies that he has been dealing with a terminally ...
2 votes
1 answer
414 views

How do I regain rapport with a recruiter whose phone screen meeting I missed?

Background Today I had a scheduling mishap for a phone screening with a recruiter. She had the meeting scheduled at 1:30 p.m., and I sincerely thought it was scheduled at 3:00p.m. I work in an area ...
78 votes
11 answers
30k views

How do I tell students at a school I volunteer at to stop flirting with me?

Occasionally, I head out to volunteer to teach robotics programming at an all-girls school in my area. For context, I'm male and age 20, and the students are adolescent females in 7th and 8th grade (...
23 votes
8 answers
19k views

How do I politely tell a stranger to stop making annoying noises I can't name?

Background I've encountered this problem several times and under different circumstances. It really annoys me when people constantly make noises with their mouth. Now, I can't name them and they come ...
32 votes
4 answers
7k views

Etiquette regarding borrowing of power tools

Based on television shows, it seems borrowing tools from neighbors is a potential minefield. I need to power wash my front and back porches and the siding of my house. My neighbor has a power washer ...
10 votes
1 answer
994 views

How to ask girlfriend to set healthy boundaries with her dog?

My girlfriend of eight months has a seven-year-old chihuahua mix that is extremely jealous, if not needy. When I first started dating gf, whenever we needed some cuddle time, she would have the dog ...
-1 votes
4 answers
1k views

personal attack because of a political comment

We're 5 couples that known each other for many years and we decided to have a breakfast in a nice park. During the breakfast we spoke about the US election on a very intellectual level and one of the ...
1 vote
3 answers
4k views

What's the etiquette for addressing a friend's partner or family in a greeting card?

I'm sending holiday greeting cards for the first time to friends, among whom some live with their partners (unmarried). I am not friends with their partners but consider myself on good terms with them,...
11 votes
3 answers
1k views

What is the proper etiquette with regards to reciprocating Thanksgiving dinner invitations?

A little bit of background: I am an international graduate student at a university in the US. A domestic friend invited me to his apartment to celebrate Thanksgiving Day and we had a great time on ...
7 votes
4 answers
1k views

Is it customary in the US not to say "bye" after a phone call? [closed]

I am French and we end our phone conversations with the equivalent of a "bye". I noticed however that in most of the US movies or TV series (especially the police/action ones), the callers ...
14 votes
2 answers
6k views

How can we get a landscaper to stop blowing leaves into our yard?

My parents live on a somewhat busy but narrow two-lane road. Across the street from them lives an old couple whom we're on good terms with; in the past, they've helped us out with things, and we've ...

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