Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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3
votes
2answers
887 views

How do I effectively challenge the teacher's bias without coming off as a jerk to the rest of the class?

In my situation, our school had us talk about racial justice and the teacher asked everybody to be respectful and have an open mind. He then presented a slideshow (Fairly sure it wasn’t made by him), ...
83
votes
14answers
33k views

How to enforce a “No Shoes” policy in my apartment?

I like to keep my apartment floor clean, as I enjoy walking around with bare feet after a shower without having to worry about them becoming dirty. As such, I don't like shoes beyond the doorway in my ...
2
votes
2answers
252 views

What is the proper etiquette for when someone you're not very close with is dealing with a terminally ill family member?

I'm currently enrolled in graduate school. I've been having a lot of trouble getting in touch with my advisor recently. He finally responded with apologies that he has been dealing with a terminally ...
2
votes
1answer
398 views

How do I regain rapport with a recruiter whose phone screen meeting I missed?

Background Today I had a scheduling mishap for a phone screening with a recruiter. She had the meeting scheduled at 1:30 p.m., and I sincerely thought it was scheduled at 3:00p.m. I work in an area ...
78
votes
11answers
27k views

How do I tell students at a school I volunteer at to stop flirting with me?

Occasionally, I head out to volunteer to teach robotics programming at an all-girls school in my area. For context, I'm male and age 20, and the students are adolescent females in 7th and 8th grade (...
23
votes
8answers
18k views

How do I politely tell a stranger to stop making annoying noises I can't name?

Background I've encountered this problem several times and under different circumstances. It really annoys me when people constantly make noises with their mouth. Now, I can't name them and they come ...
32
votes
4answers
7k views

Etiquette regarding borrowing of power tools

Based on television shows, it seems borrowing tools from neighbors is a potential minefield. I need to power wash my front and back porches and the siding of my house. My neighbor has a power washer ...
11
votes
1answer
650 views

How to ask girlfriend to set healthy boundaries with her dog?

My girlfriend of eight months has a seven-year-old chihuahua mix that is extremely jealous, if not needy. When I first started dating gf, whenever we needed some cuddle time, she would have the dog ...
0
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I convince my sister's husband to switch to boxer shorts?

At a recent family gathering, my younger sister asked me for help. She and her husband have been trying to conceive a child but have been unsuccessful. After going to a fertility doctor, they got ...
0
votes
4answers
1k views

personal attack because of a political comment

We're 5 couples that known each other for many years and we decided to have a breakfast in a nice park. During the breakfast we spoke about the US election on a very intellectual level and one of the ...
9
votes
5answers
8k views

When should I make eye contact with someone I intend to walk past?

I am an adult male living in the US, in case it matters. Anyway, there's something I do when walking past people on a (not too busy) sidewalk or in a hallway, where I will make eye contact with them,...
1
vote
3answers
2k views

What's the etiquette for addressing a friend's partner or family in a greeting card?

I'm sending holiday greeting cards for the first time to friends, among whom some live with their partners (unmarried). I am not friends with their partners but consider myself on good terms with them,...
11
votes
3answers
983 views

What is the proper etiquette with regards to reciprocating Thanksgiving dinner invitations?

A little bit of background: I am an international graduate student at a university in the US. A domestic friend invited me to his apartment to celebrate Thanksgiving Day and we had a great time on ...
7
votes
4answers
1k views

Is it customary in the US not to say “bye” after a phone call? [closed]

I am French and we end our phone conversations with the equivalent of a "bye". I noticed however that in most of the US movies or TV series (especially the police/action ones), the callers ...
13
votes
2answers
4k views

How can we get a landscaper to stop blowing leaves into our yard?

My parents live on a somewhat busy but narrow two-lane road. Across the street from them lives an old couple whom we're on good terms with; in the past, they've helped us out with things, and we've ...
22
votes
3answers
7k views

How do I politely turn down requests to show wedding photos?

I got married recently and have changed my name at work. People have noticed and are now asking for wedding photos. How do I tell them politely that no, I'm not going to show them? Lying and saying I ...
23
votes
7answers
12k views

How can I tell someone that their teasing is hurting my feelings?

There are times and situations that teasing someone can create a bond of friendship and that the bond created is a result of a well-meaning intention to prepare a person for what they might encounter ...
-4
votes
1answer
570 views

How to Apologize to a Professor After a Falling-Out? [closed]

Some background: Our falling out occurred when I wrote a letter to the department chair, complaining that her communications triggered an anxiety episode on a few occasions. This letter was prompted ...
13
votes
6answers
2k views

How can I politely tell parents of kids to stop playing with my son's toys/equipment to give him and his friends a chance?

Quite often we go to the park, or host a party and we have a few things like Stomp Rockets or Jumpers or other such things/toys. There are quite a few kids who look at longingly and want to come over (...
9
votes
6answers
4k views

How can my cousin restore harmony between his Indian mother and American mother-in-law?

Someone asked me in a comment, what is my role in all this? Good question. I am not at all close with Aunt but I am close with my cousin (son of Aunt) and he needs help to keep his mother and mother-...
38
votes
3answers
11k views

How can I handle a bisexual friend whom I think is attracted to me?

As some background, I go to a co-ed boarding high school. I have a girlfriend back home and am straight. My wing in the dorms is filled with a large collection of my friends. We're close- we play ...
12
votes
1answer
890 views

Relative emailed me demanding to know my political views because they disliked my wife's Facebook posts

This morning I received an email from a relative demanding that I state my political viewpoints on a hot-button topic in US politics because his political views are opposite from those that are being ...
4
votes
1answer
619 views

Roommate started new job and using Skype a lot in common areas

A few months ago I moved into a new home. I share it with 2 other people. One of my roommates started a new job recently. She worked in the office the first week but told me she prefers to work from ...
165
votes
9answers
40k views

As a pedestrian, how to get someone to stop following you in a car?

Sorry, I just never had these situations occur until I moved into a neighborhood. Usually, we (well, my dogs) get most of our exercise in a large, unused field near my house. The people on our way ...
6
votes
2answers
1k views

Out of the blue, my friend was very rude to me in public. How can I tell him I need an apology or explanation if we are to be friends again?

I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. We went to a couple pubs downtown. From the amount I saw him drink, I don't think he was drunk, though I guess I could be wrong. It seemed he tried to ...
11
votes
8answers
8k views

How to gently tell people NOT to use a nickname for me

My name is Thomas. People often call me Tom, as that is a standard nickname for Thomas. However, I have always gone by my full name. I don't identify with the name Tom. When it is used, I have to ...
6
votes
1answer
888 views

How to convince adult child to pay for their keep

I’m asking advice for a close friend of ours. Let me give some background first. They have a 24 year old daughter that lives with them in the United States. She is the single mom of a 3 year old. ...
61
votes
15answers
25k views

Who should identify themself first on the phone: the caller or the person called?

This may be a generational thing. I was taught that the caller always identified himself first. The person answering says "hello", to establish that contact has been made, but is under no obligation ...
6
votes
4answers
3k views

How can I tell someone that possibly unwanted body skin is showing?

So the title sums it up, but let me provide an example so it has a bit of context. I am living and working in California in an accounting office, so lax business casual is the usual attire. I am a ...
2
votes
2answers
558 views

How to tell landlord I don't want him showing my room the day before and during my move

I am moving out of my home. The landlord sent me a message asking what time he can show the place on Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn't realize it right away, but Wednesday is the day I'm moving. I will ...
3
votes
1answer
413 views

How to approach a co-worker about stealing my sales?

I work in a small office where each of has our own set of clients that we have established relationships with over the years. I've recently moved desks and am now sitting almost side by side with ...
18
votes
1answer
3k views

Breaking up well

Long story short, my ex and I split on pretty poor terms a couple months ago. They cheated again, I moved out, and now they're moving in with the person they cheated with... I'm trying to "break up ...
6
votes
2answers
705 views

How do I balance saying no and being liked?

I often find myself in the following situation: a friend from work asks to borrow an object, such as a book or my bike or a piece of jewelry they might have seen me wear or money, to pay for food if ...
4
votes
2answers
418 views

Meeting new people and telling them my field of work X and they say they could never understand X or hated X in school? [closed]

I'm a graduate student in physics. When meeting new people (mutual acquaintances, workout groups, meeting random people while out and about), eventually the question is often asked: what do you do? I ...
11
votes
3answers
7k views

How can I find out if my gf only wants me for a green card?

I'm a US citizen and I began dating a girl from an online website. We've known each other for a month and have been officially dating for about two weeks. She told me on the second date that she ...
8
votes
1answer
912 views

Working to resolve a safety issue after having been lied to by the person responsible

Background A couple sinkholes have appeared in a drainage area behind my house, which is surrounded by other houses in our neighborhood. The area is normally flat, dry, and grassy, so I used to play ...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How to Deal With A Manipulative and Pretentious Person

17 year-old male living in the U.S. here. I have a "friend" (Let's call him X) who I've known for 4 years and known well for 2 years. He is probably the most pretentious and manipulative person I ...
61
votes
15answers
17k views

What is the most respectful way to respond when invited into a prayer circle or other religious activity I don't believe in?

I live in a part of the United States where Christians are a strong majority. I frequently find myself in social situations that involve everyone being asked to join in prayer. I'm not religious, ...
41
votes
7answers
8k views

How to deal with an annoying front passenger?

Background Don't be surprised at the use of the plural here. I'm talking about two different people displaying the same behaviour and sharing other characteristics. However, each time only one of them ...
0
votes
1answer
542 views

How to ask a C-level executive to fix their smoke detector?

A c-level executive at my company (US, ~300 employees) has a low battery in their smoke detector. While this person is on calls the periodic beeping is extremely distracting and annoying to me. There ...
15
votes
1answer
1k views

How to respond to challenges about using the women's restroom as a trans woman

I'm a transgender woman, and I'm getting to the point in my transition where I'm starting to use the women's restroom. However, given the recent climate around transgender people using the appropriate ...
2
votes
1answer
582 views

How to get friend to pay me back a small amount of money?

I invited my friends to an event. It was sort of like a TED Talk. I bought all of our tickets and they agreed to pay me back. Unfortunately something came up at work and I was unable to attend. I was ...
23
votes
4answers
11k views

How can I politely tell someone that they should take a shower?

When I was in college, myself and a few friends gathered weekly to play D&D together. One friend had weekly track & field sessions scheduled prior to our meet-ups. Usually, this wasn't an ...
27
votes
5answers
9k views

Recovering from stumbling over words

There are times when I'm telling a story to friends, having a discussion in a meeting or giving a presentation when I'll stumble over my words. This may result in a word coming out sounding like ...
42
votes
3answers
25k views

Two people from small group of friends want to have a “meeting” with me. The circumstances are strange and give me a bad feeling

I have a small group of friends that get together and hangout. Usually we hangout on Fridays. We usually go to the same person's home. One person from this group (call him Bob) contacted me. He said ...
3
votes
2answers
677 views

How to have someone work on being on time and communicate it if they're late?

I have a group of friends and one person is often late and gives misleading communication. Twice he made it sound likes he's close and "just parking his car" but takes another 20-30 minutes to arrive. ...
28
votes
5answers
41k views

How to gently tell someone that you just want to be friends?

Already many months ago, "Bob" joined my circle of friends. He has a plethora of good character traits and it is really great to hang out with him. In addition, he is a bit shy and also introverted. ...
3
votes
2answers
872 views

How to gently ask friends to stop being so self-deprecating?

I'm in a highly ranked science PhD program, but my department has this odd self-deprecating culture where conversations can quickly turn into who least deserves to be in the program and who sucks the ...
1
vote
1answer
2k views

Girlfriend indicated that she wants to pleasure me orally, which startled me, now things are stifled

My girlfriend and I have been having sex for a while now, but I guess she wants to start experimenting in bed. I'm not sure if it's because she's bored or if it's because she just wants to let me ...
13
votes
5answers
7k views

How can I express disappointment while still being supportive of partner quitting smoking?

Background I met this girl, who we'll call Alice, about two years ago, and we have been casually dating for the past 2-ish months. She has been an off-and-on smoker for a handful of years, and when ...

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