Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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5 votes
1 answer
708 views

How to respond to people telling me I'm smart?

I am often told that I am smart. Someone will hear about something I did or made, or just my field of study and say "Wow you are so smart!" I don't think they are being sarcastic from their ...
2 votes
0 answers
310 views

How can I explain my crisis of confidence to my judo sensei without casting aspersions on his teaching?

I am a 27 year old male and have been taking judo lessons twice a week for the past six years, give or take a year when the dojo was closed for the pandemic. The class is run by three men, all between ...
11 votes
5 answers
12k views

How to tell a friend their music is awful?

I have a friend who has been pouring his heart & soul into starting a rap career for the past 3 or 4 years. One day while hanging out with him at his flat, he plays me some of his new music from ...
7 votes
5 answers
2k views

How can I signal to my friend that I'm open to talking about their obesity?

I have a close friend of several years who is overweight. I've been reading and thinking about the issue of obesity and how invisible it sometimes is - how difficult to discuss and yet how emotional ...
4 votes
2 answers
1k views

How to politely repel negative suggestive comments about the work morale or atmosphere?

I am part of a group of software developers who work remotely in different parts of the world. Some of us work in the U.S. and some in 3 other countries. The colleagues that work outside of USA are ...
23 votes
4 answers
3k views

How to tactfully respond to compliments when I don't feel I deserve them?

I'm the most senior developer on my current team, and I often get asked for help by my teammates. Sometimes when they ask for help, it's with something that I think is fairly obvious or easy to do. ...
5 votes
3 answers
4k views

When to open a gift / present given in person

Question: When given a token gift in person (say a housewarming present or a thank you card), is it generally expected that it will be opened immediately in the presence of the giver and discussed, or ...
16 votes
6 answers
17k views

How can I find out if my gf only wants me for a green card?

I'm a US citizen and I began dating a girl from an online website. We've known each other for a month and have been officially dating for about two weeks. She told me on the second date that she ...
84 votes
10 answers
28k views

I offered to help neighbor, how to discuss compensation?

I saw my neighbor post on social media that they wanted help with some computer related tasks. We have never met or had any interaction before. I offered to come help them for no compensation. They ...
-2 votes
3 answers
603 views

Etiquette question regarding conveying enthusiasm in email communications - used in academic settings

I have a friendly, close relationship with these professors - we are research collaborators and communicate daily. Our communication scope on emails is never personal, it's strictly about research ...
23 votes
4 answers
23k views

How can I politely tell someone that they should take a shower?

When I was in college, myself and a few friends gathered weekly to play D&D together. One friend had weekly track & field sessions scheduled prior to our meet-ups. Usually, this wasn't an ...
82 votes
14 answers
37k views

How to enforce a "No Shoes" policy in my apartment?

I like to keep my apartment floor clean, as I enjoy walking around with bare feet after a shower without having to worry about them becoming dirty. As such, I don't like shoes beyond the doorway in my ...
4 votes
3 answers
2k views

How to Deal With A Manipulative and Pretentious Person

17-year-old male living in the U.S. here. I have a "friend" (Let's call him X) who I've known for 4 years and known well for 2 years. He is probably the most pretentious and manipulative ...
2 votes
1 answer
331 views

How to handle someone who repeatedly returns to previously-discussed points in conversations?

I was recently asked (by a family member) about an personal event I was planning. During the conversation, the person I was talking to kept pressing me for details on every conceivable aspect of the ...
18 votes
6 answers
10k views

How to communicate to someone that I want to keep a relationship casual?

I didn't see a related or similar question, but if you can find one, please link it and I'll close this. Background I had little experience in high school and college and learned some of my skills ...
1 vote
1 answer
810 views

How to amicably discuss how rent will be increasing to newly inherited tenants?

I already have a property where I inherited tenants, and increased rent. Although, it was only by $50 after six months. I also gave them a list of improvements to be done. I'm looking at acquiring a ...
24 votes
5 answers
4k views

How can I decline to help my teacher with their personal IT problem?

Background Note: Certain details have been changed for privacy's sake. I am the go-to person for tech help for my friends (and enemies), family, and teachers. I have helped everyone I know with ...
14 votes
2 answers
3k views

My dog and I offended a new neighbor. How do we make it right?

Things are hopping in the neighborhood with new neighbors and new problems. Some are hard to believe. With three dogs, the youngest (6 months old) with reactivity issues (which usually show up at ...
35 votes
13 answers
14k views

How to stop family from pushing me to forgive and forget?

(Some similarities to this question, except that I have explained, and my family is not on my side.) I have been avoiding / ignoring my sister for the past ~6 months, after she seriously hurt me. I ...
11 votes
5 answers
9k views

What is the etiquette for hosting your own birthday event? Who pays?

I've never really had anyone to celebrate my birthday with, so I don't have experience with party/gathering norms. This year I decided to be proactive and invite people out somewhere, maybe Topgolf[1] ...
19 votes
9 answers
5k views

Is there a general rule for when/how to compliment a stranger? [closed]

The title pretty much says it all, I know there are cases where giving compliments to strangers makes them uncomfortable (for example, catcalling), but as I understand it there is a separate set of ...
1 vote
0 answers
362 views

How can I get my mother to give me a copy of her will?

When my father died my sisters went to his home and met with his attorney without me. I did not see his will. My dad was wealthy, I received $2000 from my dad's bank, and I don't know what my sisters ...
22 votes
6 answers
19k views

How can I tell someone I don't like the way they speak?

I can't stand "cutesy voice". That is, people who put on a high pitched squeal when they talk, who choose to say things like "wuv" over "love" or say things that are dark in a cute way. It's made ...
1 vote
2 answers
879 views

Is it appropriate for foreigners to thank US veterans for their service?

I am a foreigner living in the USA. I sometimes come across veterans and I know that in the local culture it is custom to respectfully acknowledge their service. Nothing too fancy: Person A: "... ...
3 votes
1 answer
1k views

How could I apologize to my girlfriend's mom?

My girlfriend's mom is upset with me over girlfriend's decision on a car. Her position A car that's around 5 or 6 years old with more than 80k miles will just break down (~80k is high milage) Such a ...
3 votes
1 answer
469 views

How can two people with opposing & unwavering opinions again gather as a family without tension?

Players Noah & Emma are family as a result of their children marrying. Noah - Grandfather set in his ways and beliefs. Has strong influence over who can attend family gatherings. Emma - ...
91 votes
18 answers
33k views

Sketchy "friend" recently revealed true colors, is attending my wedding. Should I un-invite, and if so how?

I have a very tricky situation that has come up. I am getting married in two weeks (as the groom, age 39), and my fiancée (bride-to-be) has invited a close friend "Lucy" who is bringing her own ...
3 votes
3 answers
3k views

How to pay back a friend who refuses to take money?

Due to some uncertainties in my housing situation my friend let me couch surf at his apartment for two months. I've found an apartment now and will be moving out soon. I keep insisting to let me pay ...
9 votes
6 answers
3k views

How do I politely say no to a stranger asking to use my phone to make a personal call?

TL;DR A stranger approached me and asked me if they could use my phone. I didn't want to be rude and say no bluntly, so I wavered, and felt uncomfortable. How do I say no to strangers asking for use ...
21 votes
5 answers
5k views

When playing darts, how can I separate real players from random drunks?

I know my dart playing habits are a little odd... I usually hit my local bar alone, on an off night, grab a pint and head straight back to the dartboard in the back corner where I'm least likely to be ...
6 votes
2 answers
944 views

How to handle being laughed at in a room full of people in a foreign country?

Note: It has been well over 10 years since this happened, but I think about this more often than I am happy to admit. Background Story: When I was 15 I went for an exchange year in the US. I was a ...
43 votes
13 answers
79k views

Talking to boyfriend about his close female friends

About our relationship: My boyfriend and I have been together happily for two years now. We both love each other very much and we're always growing closer. We're planning to move in together in a few ...
5 votes
2 answers
883 views

How do I talk about money with my partner when they get uncomfortable about the topic?

The Background My partner and I have been together for a significant amount of time, 8 years soon, and are planning to get married (within a few years due to busy schedules and graduate school). I ...
7 votes
1 answer
4k views

New roommate from India does something to make bathroom smell really bad

Where I live I share the bathroom with one other person. The person who I share it with recently changed and someone from India moved in. He said he's new to the country and just arrived recently. I ...
11 votes
5 answers
15k views

When should I make eye contact with someone I intend to walk past?

I am an adult male living in the US, in case it matters. Anyway, there's something I do when walking past people on a (not too busy) sidewalk or in a hallway, where I will make eye contact with them,...
4 votes
1 answer
1k views

How to better handle my friends passive aggressive comments, preferably so there'll be less/none at all?

I'm a millennial and a lot (too many) of my friends were those who were of the opinion that, immediately following the 2016 election, the best way to demonstrate how much they value love, tolerance, ...
15 votes
3 answers
2k views

How do I determine my boss's position on transgender rights?

I am a transwoman. I am in the closet. I am starting to transition so staying in the closet long-term isn't an option. Before I come out of the closet I would like to gauge how I think people are ...
64 votes
9 answers
15k views

How can I tell my mom to not cause herself so much stress when I'm visiting?

Situation I visit my parents about one time per month, for one to two days. Sometimes I manage to visit them twice, in rare cases I have to skip a month. So we see each other in person regularly (and,...
0 votes
2 answers
492 views

What is the maximum interaction where saying goodbye is unnecessary in the US?

Often when you meet people on the street you may opt to say "Hi" and then be on your way. To my understanding this is not considered a rude behavior. It is also common to greet someone have ...
20 votes
4 answers
10k views

Does the food or drink item brought to a potluck need to be large enough to serve everyone?

Tomorrow I'll be going to a potluck that will be attended by around 20 people. I'm not good at cooking, so I'm planning on bringing something from a bakery. What is the etiquette with regards to the ...
2 votes
2 answers
1k views

How to decide whether or not to be persistent in pursuit of a relationship?

I am trying to create some lines through this gray area. I feel that there are times when being persistent and showing someone you are interested is attractive since to varying degrees people like ...
6 votes
2 answers
1k views

How to make my relationship partner not get gradually lazier over time, without having to scare him with the idea that I might break up with him?

My boyfriend and I (age range 26-30, I'm the older one) have been together for two months now and for the most part it was great, we have similar interests, we do things together often, and we make ...
25 votes
3 answers
14k views

How to tell a busy professor that I don't mind if he answers my questions when he has time?

I am self-studying a course. Two years ago I began to use some lectures by a professor from the United States (I'm from a different country). He is retired now. While watching his lectures, I began to ...
9 votes
1 answer
2k views

How to talk to my wife regarding educating children about religion?

I was raised Roman Catholic, however I don't really follow any organized religion. I have my own beliefs regarding Deity, but don't attend a recognized (or unrecognized for that matter) religious ...
28 votes
7 answers
9k views

How to nicely reject someone who is hitting on you in the United States?

The other day I was on the bus and this girl awkwardly walked up to me and started talking to me. She then gave me her number. I wasn't really interested in interacting more with her, so I pretended ...
3 votes
2 answers
1k views

How do I effectively challenge the teacher's bias without coming off as a jerk to the rest of the class?

In my situation, our school had us talk about racial justice and the teacher asked everybody to be respectful and have an open mind. He then presented a slideshow (Fairly sure it wasn’t made by him), ...
2 votes
2 answers
360 views

What is the proper etiquette for when someone you're not very close with is dealing with a terminally ill family member?

I'm currently enrolled in graduate school. I've been having a lot of trouble getting in touch with my advisor recently. He finally responded with apologies that he has been dealing with a terminally ...
2 votes
1 answer
417 views

How do I regain rapport with a recruiter whose phone screen meeting I missed?

Background Today I had a scheduling mishap for a phone screening with a recruiter. She had the meeting scheduled at 1:30 p.m., and I sincerely thought it was scheduled at 3:00p.m. I work in an area ...
78 votes
11 answers
31k views

How do I tell students at a school I volunteer at to stop flirting with me?

Occasionally, I head out to volunteer to teach robotics programming at an all-girls school in my area. For context, I'm male and age 20, and the students are adolescent females in 7th and 8th grade (...
23 votes
8 answers
19k views

How do I politely tell a stranger to stop making annoying noises I can't name?

Background I've encountered this problem several times and under different circumstances. It really annoys me when people constantly make noises with their mouth. Now, I can't name them and they come ...

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