Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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How can I explain my crisis of confidence to my judo sensei without casting aspersions on his teaching?

I am a 27 year old male and have been taking judo lessons twice a week for the past six years, give or take a year when the dojo was closed for the pandemic. The class is run by three men, all between ...
QueryingForRealLife's user avatar
5 votes
1 answer
465 views

How to respond to people telling me I'm smart?

I am often told that I am smart. Someone will hear about something I did or made, or just my field of study and say "Wow you are so smart!" I don't think they are being sarcastic from their ...
EphraimRuttenberg's user avatar
2 votes
1 answer
323 views

How to handle someone who repeatedly returns to previously-discussed points in conversations?

I was recently asked (by a family member) about an personal event I was planning. During the conversation, the person I was talking to kept pressing me for details on every conceivable aspect of the ...
EJoshuaS - Stand with Ukraine's user avatar
1 vote
1 answer
804 views

How to amicably discuss how rent will be increasing to newly inherited tenants?

I already have a property where I inherited tenants, and increased rent. Although, it was only by $50 after six months. I also gave them a list of improvements to be done. I'm looking at acquiring a ...
adamaero's user avatar
  • 133
1 vote
0 answers
355 views

How can I get my mother to give me a copy of her will?

When my father died my sisters went to his home and met with his attorney without me. I did not see his will. My dad was wealthy, I received $2000 from my dad's bank, and I don't know what my sisters ...
DC_Lady's user avatar
  • 11
1 vote
2 answers
851 views

Is it appropriate for foreigners to thank US veterans for their service?

I am a foreigner living in the USA. I sometimes come across veterans and I know that in the local culture it is custom to respectfully acknowledge their service. Nothing too fancy: Person A: "... ...
Foreigner in America's user avatar
3 votes
1 answer
1k views

How could I apologize to my girlfriend's mom?

My girlfriend's mom is upset with me over girlfriend's decision on a car. Her position A car that's around 5 or 6 years old with more than 80k miles will just break down (~80k is high milage) Such a ...
user avatar
3 votes
1 answer
468 views

How can two people with opposing & unwavering opinions again gather as a family without tension?

Players Noah & Emma are family as a result of their children marrying. Noah - Grandfather set in his ways and beliefs. Has strong influence over who can attend family gatherings. Emma - ...
Raze's user avatar
  • 31
6 votes
2 answers
932 views

How to handle being laughed at in a room full of people in a foreign country?

Note: It has been well over 10 years since this happened, but I think about this more often than I am happy to admit. Background Story: When I was 15 I went for an exchange year in the US. I was a ...
Pudora's user avatar
  • 683
5 votes
2 answers
869 views

How do I talk about money with my partner when they get uncomfortable about the topic?

The Background My partner and I have been together for a significant amount of time, 8 years soon, and are planning to get married (within a few years due to busy schedules and graduate school). I ...
Flats's user avatar
  • 238
3 votes
3 answers
3k views

How to pay back a friend who refuses to take money?

Due to some uncertainties in my housing situation my friend let me couch surf at his apartment for two months. I've found an apartment now and will be moving out soon. I keep insisting to let me pay ...
user avatar
4 votes
1 answer
1k views

How to better handle my friends passive aggressive comments, preferably so there'll be less/none at all?

I'm a millennial and a lot (too many) of my friends were those who were of the opinion that, immediately following the 2016 election, the best way to demonstrate how much they value love, tolerance, ...
nordic.cat.bear's user avatar
0 votes
2 answers
488 views

What is the maximum interaction where saying goodbye is unnecessary in the US?

Often when you meet people on the street you may opt to say "Hi" and then be on your way. To my understanding this is not considered a rude behavior. It is also common to greet someone have ...
Gregory Furmanek's user avatar
6 votes
2 answers
1k views

How to make my relationship partner not get gradually lazier over time, without having to scare him with the idea that I might break up with him?

My boyfriend and I (age range 26-30, I'm the older one) have been together for two months now and for the most part it was great, we have similar interests, we do things together often, and we make ...
Cler Meches's user avatar
20 votes
4 answers
10k views

Does the food or drink item brought to a potluck need to be large enough to serve everyone?

Tomorrow I'll be going to a potluck that will be attended by around 20 people. I'm not good at cooking, so I'm planning on bringing something from a bakery. What is the etiquette with regards to the ...
VKV's user avatar
  • 311
2 votes
2 answers
1k views

How to decide whether or not to be persistent in pursuit of a relationship?

I am trying to create some lines through this gray area. I feel that there are times when being persistent and showing someone you are interested is attractive since to varying degrees people like ...
FrontEnd's user avatar
  • 309
3 votes
2 answers
1k views

How do I effectively challenge the teacher's bias without coming off as a jerk to the rest of the class?

In my situation, our school had us talk about racial justice and the teacher asked everybody to be respectful and have an open mind. He then presented a slideshow (Fairly sure it wasn’t made by him), ...
Ekadh Singh - Reinstate Monica's user avatar
2 votes
2 answers
359 views

What is the proper etiquette for when someone you're not very close with is dealing with a terminally ill family member?

I'm currently enrolled in graduate school. I've been having a lot of trouble getting in touch with my advisor recently. He finally responded with apologies that he has been dealing with a terminally ...
Scruffy's user avatar
  • 23
10 votes
1 answer
2k views

How to ask girlfriend to set healthy boundaries with her dog?

My girlfriend of eight months has a seven-year-old chihuahua mix that is extremely jealous, if not needy. When I first started dating gf, whenever we needed some cuddle time, she would have the dog ...
speak872's user avatar
  • 101
1 vote
3 answers
5k views

What's the etiquette for addressing a friend's partner or family in a greeting card?

I'm sending holiday greeting cards for the first time to friends, among whom some live with their partners (unmarried). I am not friends with their partners but consider myself on good terms with them,...
eurieka's user avatar
  • 347
11 votes
3 answers
1k views

What is the proper etiquette with regards to reciprocating Thanksgiving dinner invitations?

A little bit of background: I am an international graduate student at a university in the US. A domestic friend invited me to his apartment to celebrate Thanksgiving Day and we had a great time on ...
Frank's user avatar
  • 213
7 votes
4 answers
1k views

Is it customary in the US not to say "bye" after a phone call? [closed]

I am French and we end our phone conversations with the equivalent of a "bye". I noticed however that in most of the US movies or TV series (especially the police/action ones), the callers ...
WoJ's user avatar
  • 2,514
22 votes
3 answers
8k views

How do I politely turn down requests to show wedding photos?

I got married recently and have changed my name at work. People have noticed and are now asking for wedding photos. How do I tell them politely that no, I'm not going to show them? Lying and saying I ...
friendly's user avatar
  • 331
-1 votes
4 answers
1k views

personal attack because of a political comment

We're 5 couples that known each other for many years and we decided to have a breakfast in a nice park. During the breakfast we spoke about the US election on a very intellectual level and one of the ...
ProcolHarum's user avatar
  • 1,069
13 votes
1 answer
1k views

Relative emailed me demanding to know my political views because they disliked my wife's Facebook posts

This morning I received an email from a relative demanding that I state my political viewpoints on a hot-button topic in US politics because his political views are opposite from those that are being ...
Rincewind's user avatar
  • 405
4 votes
1 answer
794 views

Roommate started new job and using Skype a lot in common areas

A few months ago I moved into a new home. I share it with 2 other people. One of my roommates started a new job recently. She worked in the office the first week but told me she prefers to work from ...
Noetics's user avatar
  • 93
5 votes
2 answers
2k views

Out of the blue, my friend was very rude to me in public. How can I tell him I need an apology or explanation if we are to be friends again?

I met up with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. We went to a couple pubs downtown. From the amount I saw him drink, I don't think he was drunk, though I guess I could be wrong. It seemed he tried to ...
skeeteryork's user avatar
6 votes
1 answer
993 views

How to convince adult child to pay for their keep

I’m asking advice for a close friend of ours. Let me give some background first. They have a 24 year old daughter that lives with them in the United States. She is the single mom of a 3 year old. ...
Lucky Cricket's user avatar
2 votes
2 answers
598 views

How to tell landlord I don't want him showing my room the day before and during my move

I am moving out of my home. The landlord sent me a message asking what time he can show the place on Tuesday and Wednesday. I didn't realize it right away, but Wednesday is the day I'm moving. I will ...
user29704's user avatar
3 votes
1 answer
1k views

How to approach a co-worker about stealing my sales?

I work in a small office where each of has our own set of clients that we have established relationships with over the years. I've recently moved desks and am now sitting almost side by side with ...
Spotted_Flamingo's user avatar
6 votes
2 answers
750 views

How do I balance saying no and being liked?

I often find myself in the following situation: a friend from work asks to borrow an object, such as a book or my bike or a piece of jewelry they might have seen me wear or money, to pay for food if ...
user1096863's user avatar
2 votes
1 answer
417 views

How do I regain rapport with a recruiter whose phone screen meeting I missed?

Background Today I had a scheduling mishap for a phone screening with a recruiter. She had the meeting scheduled at 1:30 p.m., and I sincerely thought it was scheduled at 3:00p.m. I work in an area ...
isakbob's user avatar
  • 564
4 votes
2 answers
438 views

Meeting new people and telling them my field of work X and they say they could never understand X or hated X in school? [closed]

I'm a graduate student in physics. When meeting new people (mutual acquaintances, workout groups, meeting random people while out and about), eventually the question is often asked: what do you do? I ...
Jagerber48's user avatar
4 votes
3 answers
2k views

How to Deal With A Manipulative and Pretentious Person

17-year-old male living in the U.S. here. I have a "friend" (Let's call him X) who I've known for 4 years and known well for 2 years. He is probably the most pretentious and manipulative ...
Jim Bob's user avatar
  • 51
19 votes
1 answer
1k views

How to respond to challenges about using the women's restroom as a trans woman

I'm a transgender woman, and I'm getting to the point in my transition where I'm starting to use the women's restroom. However, given the recent climate around transgender people using the appropriate ...
Tesset's user avatar
  • 2,899
0 votes
1 answer
565 views

How to ask a C-level executive to fix their smoke detector?

A c-level executive at my company (US, ~300 employees) has a low battery in their smoke detector. While this person is on calls the periodic beeping is extremely distracting and annoying to me. There ...
Captain Man's user avatar
2 votes
1 answer
658 views

How to get friend to pay me back a small amount of money?

I invited my friends to an event. It was sort of like a TED Talk. I bought all of our tickets and they agreed to pay me back. Unfortunately something came up at work and I was unable to attend. I was ...
user avatar
27 votes
5 answers
9k views

Recovering from stumbling over words

There are times when I'm telling a story to friends, having a discussion in a meeting or giving a presentation when I'll stumble over my words. This may result in a word coming out sounding like ...
scohe001's user avatar
  • 15.3k
3 votes
2 answers
698 views

How to have someone work on being on time and communicate it if they're late?

I have a group of friends and one person is often late and gives misleading communication. Twice he made it sound likes he's close and "just parking his car" but takes another 20-30 minutes to arrive. ...
user avatar
1 vote
1 answer
3k views

Girlfriend indicated that she wants to pleasure me orally, which startled me, now things are stifled

My girlfriend and I have been having sex for a while now, but I guess she wants to start experimenting in bed. I'm not sure if it's because she's bored or if it's because she just wants to let me ...
temp's user avatar
  • 229
3 votes
2 answers
904 views

How to gently ask friends to stop being so self-deprecating?

I'm in a highly ranked science PhD program, but my department has this odd self-deprecating culture where conversations can quickly turn into who least deserves to be in the program and who sucks the ...
Azor Ahai -him-'s user avatar
6 votes
1 answer
653 views

How do I effectively convey to a family member that tipping a certain amount is expected?

In the United States, it is customary to tip anywhere between 18-25% for "regular" service in restaurants (though from experience, people - myself included - usually aim for 20%). In extreme ...
osuka_'s user avatar
  • 171
3 votes
2 answers
737 views

How to convey interest after I've declined multiple invitations?

My neighbor who lives across the hall from me in my apartment building is clearly trying to extend an olive branch of friendship. We met at a community gathering for residents a little over a month ...
Wes Sayeed's user avatar
96 votes
5 answers
14k views

How to help a male-presenting person shop for women's clothes?

I'm a new store manager for a women's clothing store and I have been receiving male-presenting customers that are looking for women's clothes for themselves. I want to give them the best, supportive ...
Nicki Caravella's user avatar
42 votes
3 answers
25k views

Two people from small group of friends want to have a "meeting" with me. The circumstances are strange and give me a bad feeling

I have a small group of friends that get together and hangout. Usually we hangout on Fridays. We usually go to the same person's home. One person from this group (call him Bob) contacted me. He said ...
hectorpepper's user avatar
8 votes
2 answers
2k views

How to explain to roommate from India if I'm with a guest it's not a good time to discuss roommate issues?

I live in a shared house in the US. Generally speaking it's very nice and the people I share it with are nice. There's a young lady from India who I noticed has very different views than I do. She ...
Tuberiform's user avatar
151 votes
3 answers
23k views

I was mistakenly identified as a criminal, and this has caused rumors. How can I convince my friends that it is all a mistake?

A while ago, I was at a popular, busy local nightclub (this is in the Unites States) and ran into a friend of a friend. Let's call her Anne. After a bit of conversation with Anne, and mutual name-...
Scott Smith's user avatar
5 votes
1 answer
363 views

Is it acceptable to ask about visitation or memorial service for a funeral?

A family friend's wife died and they were very poor. I'm planning to call him soon, but I'm still hesitant about asking for visitation or memorial service. The only reason I think it could be rude/...
Scott's user avatar
  • 71
15 votes
3 answers
2k views

How do I determine my boss's position on transgender rights?

I am a transwoman. I am in the closet. I am starting to transition so staying in the closet long-term isn't an option. Before I come out of the closet I would like to gauge how I think people are ...
Summer's user avatar
  • 1,697
9 votes
1 answer
2k views

Asking my partner why they don't want me to pleasure them

Whenever we are intimate, my partner never lets me pleasure them. If I try to continue after I'm done, they just shoot me down with something like "it's OK," or "you don't need to,", or "don't worry ...
temp's user avatar
  • 229

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