Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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8
votes
1answer
481 views

How to press to receive updates without sounding obnoxious?

I recently (well, a few months ago now) backed a project on Kickstarter. It was not my first one, so I was fairly prepared (I thought) to the process. Well, turned out I was wrong. Unlike other ...
3
votes
2answers
651 views

How do I send money as wedding gift [closed]

My cousin is getting married. She is considerably younger in age and we live in different parts of the country. I would not be attending the wedding. I know how much I would like to gift. But how can ...
24
votes
4answers
4k views

How can I decline to help my teacher with their personal IT problem?

Background Note: Certain details have been changed for privacy's sake. I am the go-to person for tech help for my friends (and enemies), family, and teachers. I have helped everyone I know with ...
12
votes
4answers
4k views

How do I bring up one-sided sex to my sexually inexperienced girlfriend without pressuring her into anything?

I've been dating my girlfriend for a few months now and I have given oral and fingered her frequently, but that's the furthest she's gone with anyone. I feel like merely bringing up or suggesting ...
122
votes
14answers
24k views

Is it acceptable to violate table manners in public due to my disability?

I have a tremor, which varies in intensity. I recently ordered a sandwich at a restaurant, which was pretty easy to eat, but I gave up trying to eat the salad, because I was unable to do so with a ...
18
votes
4answers
1k views

How do I make it known to a group of friends that I need a little more patience to communicate with?

I am the kind of person that is quiet until I feel welcomed in a group of people, and even then, I still am relatively quiet until spoken to. Important information to consider: I am deaf with ...
16
votes
3answers
9k views

How do I help my girlfriend defend herself against manipulative parents?

Some Background My girlfriend's family moved to the US about 2 years ago to escape their home country (which is going through political and economic turmoil) to start over. Her mom sells insurance, ...
4
votes
2answers
532 views

How to ask if I can use a rewards/points card at a paid lunch?

I am meeting with a recruiter, and she is taking me to lunch (paid for by her company) at restaurant that is local to my company's location. She is unlikely to have a loyalty card at this place ...
22
votes
5answers
8k views

Attending the 9/11 Memorial next month - how to interact with families that lost loved ones?

A couple of us are planning to visit the 9/11 Memorial in New York next month on September 11th itself; it would be our first time visiting the memorial. I want to be careful to not treat the event as ...
101
votes
11answers
35k views

Complimenting a female co-worker without coming across as flirting?

I am asking this question for a friend. My friend is straight, male, and married to a woman and loyal to his wife. He is a somewhat socially awkward person. He works in an office of software ...
2
votes
3answers
1k views

How to interact with someone whose close friend group seems to dislike you?

Here's the progression of events with me and this friend group: I met and dated a girl I met some of this girl's friends. I got along with them just fine. The girl wasn't romantically interested in ...
8
votes
1answer
1k views

How to develop friendship without money? [closed]

I have a dilemma, I'm living in USA and I'm from Latin America (I'm learning to speak English too) so I'm trying to make some friends, I've already found a girl that is very nice, and she wants to ...
37
votes
8answers
11k views

Encouraging bystanders to step up

I ran into a rather nasty one this past weekend. I was out with a close friend at a party and could very clearly hear people making exceptionally nasty homophobic and transphobic comments, up to and ...
84
votes
10answers
27k views

I offered to help neighbor, how to discuss compensation?

I saw my neighbor post on social media that they wanted help with some computer related tasks. We have never met or had any interaction before. I offered to come help them for no compensation. They ...
5
votes
2answers
2k views

How do I distance myself from a coworker/friend?

I've been at an internship for the past 9 weeks. At the beginning of the period, I became close with two other interns, Alex and Sue, as we all started on the same day. However, as the internship has ...
4
votes
1answer
651 views

How can I encouragingly critique my budding photography friend?

My very close friend (I consider her a sibling) is asking for help with promoting their photography on social media to get their amateur photography business off the ground, but they have only a ...
2
votes
1answer
512 views

How do I tactfully ask for my hotel room to be cleaned more thoroughly? [closed]

I am doing some temporary work for a few months and the company is paying for my housing in a nearby hotel. The room comes with typical housekeeping service to clean the sheets, bathroom, etc. I have ...
4
votes
3answers
5k views

How do I respond to someone saying “thanks for waiting” after a long wait I wasn't okay with? [closed]

Recently, I was in a line at the supermarket where the person ahead of me took nearly 10 minutes to resolve a payment issue with their order (usually, payment takes 30 seconds to a minute). When that ...
-3
votes
1answer
689 views

How do I handle staying at friend's apartment in which the bathroom offers insufficient privacy? [closed]

I will be going on a business trip to the Chicago area, about 1 hour away from the city I think. My friend lives in the city and she has very kindly offered to host me for the weekend after and show ...
8
votes
3answers
1k views

How to ask a coworker if (and why) they don't like me?

I (male) recently started a very corporate job. I'm a recent grad so I'm younger than most of my coworkers, most of which are married/have kids. I get along pretty well with all of them. There is ...
7
votes
6answers
2k views

How can I talk to my brother about spanking his child?

I recently found out that my brother spanks his son, who is four. I overheard my parents talking about a recent incident where my brother spanked his child. I don't know any details other than the ...
23
votes
12answers
11k views

Polite way to ask how to pronounce name with sounds outside local language?

In my experience, it is not common practice for native English speakers in the United States to attempt to pronounce non-English sounds, such as gutturals or trills. So say I meet a new colleague ...
5
votes
3answers
972 views

How to give constructive feedback to a restaurant owner when they ask after a meal?

So I had a interesting incident recently, and I wonder if I addressed it properly. My friend and I stumbled into an amazing Mexican place after an event we attended. This restaurant was sort low-key, ...
3
votes
1answer
818 views

How do I help my girlfriend open up? [closed]

So a little background on our relationship. We've been dating for about a year and a half now. We're now getting to the conversation of marriage and I'm super excited to see what the future holds. ...
5
votes
4answers
3k views

How to Handle Judgmental Sibling

My older sibling always seems to judge me and undermine my interests and achievements. We both graduated from reputable universities in our respective fields (mine being technology and theirs being ...
36
votes
5answers
9k views

How can I tactfully discuss the intentions of an online acquaintance before meeting?

I recently accepted the friend request of a guy on Facebook. We shared a couple mutual friends, so I assumed we had met at a college party somewhere in the last few years. As it turns out, we haven't ...
3
votes
2answers
636 views

How/whether to let people know I don't like receiving flowers?

My husband and I have never liked cut flowers, although we always accepted them graciously when they were given to us. It seemed a shame for people to spend money on something we don't like, but we ...
0
votes
2answers
385 views

How to tell family Dr I am content helping my dad who has multiple health issues

This has been bothering me for some time now. My Dad has multimorbidity, i.e. numerous health issues that can be treated by being a self-advocate, and not giving up (it's easy to feel discouraged ...
0
votes
1answer
712 views

How to approach a narcissist parent about their unkind and unreasonable treatment of a sibling?

TL;DR: My dad is calling my sister an embarrasment while I'm the "golden child" that seems to do most things right in his eyes. My dad seems to not realize that me and my sister talk often, and she ...
39
votes
12answers
61k views

Talking to boyfriend about his close female friends

About our relationship: My boyfriend and I have been together happily for two years now. We both love each other very much and we're always growing closer. We're planning to move in together in a few ...
9
votes
3answers
3k views

How to tell my roommates that I want to move out ASAP when they say they rely on my rent?

I recently graduated from college, out of state from my hometown, and got a job here. A friend of mine and her husband offered to let me stay with them for very little rent until I could find a place ...
37
votes
2answers
14k views

How to explain that we are not comfortable with a new boyfriend staying at our house?

My wife is having a friend stay over with us at the end of the month for a visit. The friend asked if she could bring her new (~2 months) boyfriend along as well. We are not comfortable with this for ...
8
votes
1answer
531 views

How should I present the idea of doing repairs and minor renovations to my landlord?

TL;DR: I'm a competent and careful handyman who cares deeply about the quality of my work. I'd like to present the idea of doing repairs and minor renovations to my rental for only the cost of ...
8
votes
3answers
588 views

How can I properly express my true academic and career ambitions to my father?

I'm currently a junior/senior in High School, currently looking for colleges. My father has taken it upon himself to help me find a college that would best suit what he believes to be my ambitions: a ...
11
votes
5answers
3k views

What to say to steer passive-aggressive narcissist parent(s) away from saying guilt-tripping statements to me or other people?

My relationship with my dad has been rocky the past 9+ years. After divorcing my mom when I was 16, (I am 25 now) his passive-aggressive narcissist behavior has become more prevalent. For example, he ...
9
votes
3answers
1k views

How to approach a person that has stood me up several times?

Background: I met this person, S at a church I was attending at the time (I changed churches for different reasons). We became friends, because we had a few common interests, and I wanted to help S ...
11
votes
2answers
705 views

How do I deal with accents and my audio processing issues without annoying people?

I'm fairly certain that I have audio processing disorder - basically, I can hear sounds just fine, but I seriously struggle with comprehending what I hear, as I will often misunderstand words or have ...
2
votes
4answers
790 views

How to keep passengers off the phone

I am often the driver for friends and family whenever we travel, whether short or long distances. This is mostly due to the fact that I have the best track record, reflexes, judgement, etc. on the ...
4
votes
6answers
778 views

How do I respond to a former co-worker asking for help with his resume?

A former colleague was recently terminated from our division. He lost his mid-level development position due to several factors, all of which could be summed up to poor job performance, misuse of ...
32
votes
10answers
18k views

Saying “No” to my brother's demand without causing an argument

Bit of background on my relationship with my brother: ever since my teenage years, I could not bear him. I know it is common for siblings to have arguments and misunderstandings, and that's been the ...
12
votes
3answers
2k views

How can I tell my mom that I found more beer in my brother's room while I was snooping?

Recently, I found my brother's stash of alcohol in the basement while looking for some paint. I told my mom about it, and she took care of it and decided to have a talk with him once he gets back from ...
40
votes
6answers
14k views

Childhood friend wants to get a “best friends” tattoo but I do not think it is a good idea

Background I have a friend, we'll call her A, who I have known for nearly 20 years now. We are both in our early 20s now. Due to transitions we have both experienced over the last several years, other ...
73
votes
10answers
27k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip?

A situation came up with my girlfriend where I drove her to an event that she needed to go to that was a two hour drive away (so a four hour round trip). After we got back, I charged her for half of ...
6
votes
4answers
3k views

How can I tell someone that possibly unwanted body skin is showing?

So the title sums it up, but let me provide an example so it has a bit of context. I am living and working in California in an accounting office, so lax business casual is the usual attire. I am a ...
20
votes
3answers
8k views

Requesting time off to attend a Pride event

For those that are unfamiliar June is Pride month. The month of June was chosen for LGBT Pride Month to commemorate the Stonewall riots, which occurred at the end of June 1969. As a result, many ...
7
votes
1answer
1k views

How can I tell people not to take clippings in my community garden plots? [closed]

I have a community garden plot filled with rare vegetables, and some can easily get started from cuttings. I left the labels next to the plants, but have not given anyone permission to take cuttings. ...
7
votes
1answer
403 views

How to approach daycare provider about reduced days?

Context: I am employed full time year round, my wife is a teacher, so works full time August to June. We have three kids (6yrs, 4yrs, and 7months) two of which have been going to daycare at the same ...
2
votes
6answers
3k views

How to mend relations with someone I realize I have been mean to for four years?

Premise I do not feel good whenever I have strained a friendship, or any interpersonal relationship, and can find no recourse to mend the friction. The main reason being (and it is admitedly selfish),...
43
votes
5answers
8k views

Dementia: How to cut off useless advice to a caregiver from well meaning people?

My husband has moderate dementia. The exact cause has been variously diagnosed, but it is probably not Alzheimer's. I haven't broadcast the fact, but, of course my friends and some of my closer ...
8
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I amicably end a friendship with a needy friend?

Over the last few months I have become closer with a friend from class. She seems to have really latched onto me and considers me a close friend of hers. I'm an introvert and don't make strong bonds ...

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