Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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40
votes
6answers
14k views

Childhood friend wants to get a "best friends" tattoo but I do not think it is a good idea

Background I have a friend, we'll call her A, who I have known for nearly 20 years now. We are both in our early 20s now. Due to transitions we have both experienced over the last several years, other ...
73
votes
10answers
27k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip?

A situation came up with my girlfriend where I drove her to an event that she needed to go to that was a two hour drive away (so a four hour round trip). After we got back, I charged her for half of ...
6
votes
4answers
3k views

How can I tell someone that possibly unwanted body skin is showing?

So the title sums it up, but let me provide an example so it has a bit of context. I am living and working in California in an accounting office, so lax business casual is the usual attire. I am a ...
20
votes
3answers
8k views

Requesting time off to attend a Pride event

For those that are unfamiliar June is Pride month. The month of June was chosen for LGBT Pride Month to commemorate the Stonewall riots, which occurred at the end of June 1969. As a result, many ...
7
votes
1answer
1k views

How can I tell people not to take clippings in my community garden plots? [closed]

I have a community garden plot filled with rare vegetables, and some can easily get started from cuttings. I left the labels next to the plants, but have not given anyone permission to take cuttings. ...
7
votes
1answer
411 views

How to approach daycare provider about reduced days?

Context: I am employed full time year round, my wife is a teacher, so works full time August to June. We have three kids (6yrs, 4yrs, and 7months) two of which have been going to daycare at the same ...
2
votes
6answers
3k views

How to mend relations with someone I realize I have been mean to for four years?

Premise I do not feel good whenever I have strained a friendship, or any interpersonal relationship, and can find no recourse to mend the friction. The main reason being (and it is admitedly selfish),...
43
votes
5answers
8k views

Dementia: How to cut off useless advice to a caregiver from well meaning people?

My husband has moderate dementia. The exact cause has been variously diagnosed, but it is probably not Alzheimer's. I haven't broadcast the fact, but, of course my friends and some of my closer ...
8
votes
2answers
2k views

How can I amicably end a friendship with a needy friend?

Over the last few months I have become closer with a friend from class. She seems to have really latched onto me and considers me a close friend of hers. I'm an introvert and don't make strong bonds ...
97
votes
15answers
28k views

How can I avoid coming across as condescending when telling a coworker I can't work on an issue right now?

Being a programmer, I largely run on the logical/factual side which tends to get me in trouble with my emails being read in tones not intended. One email, I even was sat down with my boss for being "...
64
votes
13answers
23k views

How can I decline someone's business card with tact?

I am an engineer in a technical field, but I work regularly with sales, and I am often given business cards by vendors or customers at work. I know that I will never use them, and I almost always ...
10
votes
4answers
3k views

Discussing misuse of my partner's pronouns with their best friend?

For nearly half a year now my partner, "Jane", has taken to using non-binary gender pronouns (they/them) and has asked those around them to respect this decision. The problem is that their closest ...
62
votes
9answers
19k views

How to introduce metamours without causing awkwardness?

I am involved in a polyamorous relationship. Currently my wife has both a husband (me) and a boyfriend. We like to go out for normal "couple" type activities like dinner dates, movies, and attending ...
62
votes
12answers
50k views

Appropriate response when someone announces pregnancy?

When someone tells me that they or their partner are pregnant, my typical response is "Congratulations!" But I have found out that this remark is not always appropriate- notably when the pregnancy is ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

How can I have a relationship with my mother when I stand in moral opposition to what she believes? [closed]

I have spoken to my mother once in the past 8 months. She has done things which were disrespectful to my fiancee and her family, and she holds views which I feel are morally reprehensible. I want to ...
0
votes
1answer
155 views

What kind of birthday gift is appropriate for a recent friend? [closed]

A friend of mine has a birthday coming up and I want to give them a gift. Given my history of poor gift giving, I am trying to put more thought into this. However, we've only recently started talking (...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How to ask a parent to help with something they disagree with fundamentally?

For perspective, I'm a young man and I don't live with my parents nor am I dependent on them in any way. Recently, I've started to grow an interest in learning to ride a motorcycle. My dad has been ...
15
votes
6answers
2k views

How to politely inform others that I don't drink?

I don't have a "good reason" for not drinking.I'm not religious, I don't have medical issues, a few family members are alcoholics but most of them don't abuse alcohol, I'm not conscious about what I ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

How can I explain to my parents my decision to live in co-ed housing next year?

I'm male, 20, and going to university in the USA. My family is of Indian heritage, but lives in the U.S. They pay for most of my tuition and housing costs. In my particular cultural segment, it's ...
83
votes
14answers
34k views

How to enforce a "No Shoes" policy in my apartment?

I like to keep my apartment floor clean, as I enjoy walking around with bare feet after a shower without having to worry about them becoming dirty. As such, I don't like shoes beyond the doorway in my ...
5
votes
2answers
560 views

How to get rid of an unwanted gift from in-laws without hurting feelings?

A few months ago, my wife's father and his girlfriend told us they wanted to get us a big leather chair for Christmas. We didn't really want a leather chair, nor did we have anywhere to put it, so we ...
4
votes
1answer
226 views

How to start/keep conversations in professional conferences? [closed]

I am a Ph.D. candidate in the USA, and almost every three/four months, I go to different conferences. I have found it really hard sometimes to start, and more importantly, to KEEP conversations with ...
26
votes
5answers
13k views

How do I respond to someone apologizing for coughing/yawning?

Many times I'll be talking to someone and they'll yawn or cough (or something similar), then say "excuse me", or "sorry". I have no idea what type of response to give to this. If they'd sneezed, ...
3
votes
5answers
448 views

How to get out of visiting family as often without any hard feelings?

Growing up, we always had family dinners to celebrate birthdays and similar events like Mother's Day, Father's Day, and some other things that are personal to our family. These traditions have been ...
20
votes
2answers
3k views

How can I encourage discussion of sensitive topics with my girlfriend?

Background I have been dating my girlfriend for about three months. We are both in our mid 20s, grew up in the mid-western United States, and now live in New York City. She has defined boundaries for ...
0
votes
2answers
600 views

How to contact to partner after breakup who does not want to talk [closed]

My partner broke up with me few days ago and it is very surprising and devastating for me. For last 6 months we were in a great relationship and everything was going good. So, a little bit about the ...
8
votes
1answer
2k views

How to respond to "What happened to your face?"

Long story short, this weekend while playing with my sister she ended up leaving a large scratch down my face beneath my eye. It's pretty shallow and has barely hurt, but it's very obvious (as it's ...
53
votes
8answers
12k views

How to tell someone to be quiet immediately while listening to an announcement?

Backstory: my girlfriend and I were at a sporting event, having casual conversation, but an announcement came over the loud speaker that caught my interest and I wanted to hear. I turned my head so ...
3
votes
3answers
737 views

How to convince a founder it's time to let go of their "power?"

My grandmother is part of a sports fan club. This club is officially recognized by their team and receives exclusive benefits for their members such as early access to tickets that have early access ...
21
votes
8answers
6k views

How to tell whether someone would like to have my painting, without imposing a gift on them?

I paint as a hobby. Made few hi-bye friends at office because of this. I would be happy to give my painting to someone who truly appreciates it from the bottom of their heart. Usually when a painting ...
25
votes
7answers
14k views

Are there any ways to avoid unwanted approaches when not wearing a wedding ring?

I am happily married man and have no interest in engaging in a relationship outside of it. I have heard that wearing a wedding ring alerts women to the fact that I'm married and not looking for ...
11
votes
8answers
9k views

How to gently tell people NOT to use a nickname for me

My name is Thomas. People often call me Tom, as that is a standard nickname for Thomas. However, I have always gone by my full name. I don't identify with the name Tom. When it is used, I have to ...
5
votes
7answers
945 views

How to make getting to know someone less artificial?

(Or, am I over thinking everything) There is a girl (Jen) that I've been acquaintances with for about 3-4 years. I recently asked her if she would be okay with me getting to know her better. In my ...
34
votes
5answers
5k views

How to be firm on what I need without causing offense?

At least once a week, I have to get blood drawn to comply with a treatment regimen. I don't have a problem with this. I'm not afraid of needles. The trouble is that I can't always have the same ...
14
votes
3answers
8k views

How To Respond to Rude Cashier? [closed]

Once in a while I get coffee from a nearby shop. Lot of times, the ladies at the counter are rude; especially to me, because I look like a soft target. Really, I am not confrontational unless I am at ...
5
votes
5answers
2k views

How do I talk to my partner about them going to the doctor?

Background My partner and I have been dating for 9 years. We have been living together for the last 2 years. Since we started dating, my partner has not gone to the doctors for simple checkups, ...
8
votes
4answers
1k views

How can I decline an invitation from someone who is only asking because she feels sorry for me?

Long story short, I never had friends, and didn't know how to make any. I'm 2nd generation Indian, raised in the USA, if that's relevant. Only recently I have few hi-bye friends from office (who ...
15
votes
5answers
1k views

How to minimize embarrassment when I ask a question but they nod and smile?

The Background I work with a LOT of non-native English speakers. As such, miscommunications are a daily occurrence. I've noticed that sometimes when they don't understand something, they'll just nod ...
-1
votes
3answers
501 views

Etiquette question regarding conveying enthusiasm in email communications - used in academic settings

I have a friendly, close relationship with these professors - we are research collaborators and communicate daily. Our communication scope on emails is never personal, it's strictly about research ...
88
votes
6answers
27k views

How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything?

I have recently purchased a new home and have moved into a neighborhood. I would like to introduce myself to my immediate neighbors and offer them my telephone number in case there is an emergency or ...
3
votes
2answers
522 views

How to resolve conflict over differing sources of truth?

My mother is very relational. The people she knows and interacts with are important to her, and she has a natural inclination to value opinions and information presented to her by those people over ...
-1
votes
2answers
562 views

How to tactfully refuse outsiders to stay in your home [closed]

I am in USA (2nd generation Indian American, if that is relevant) and have witnessed situations where person A let person B (A's wife's distant relative) stay in their apartment, but they overstayed ...
44
votes
5answers
20k views

How do I tell someone I recently met that I am in a relationship?

Before I begin I am male I am in a long term relationship with a woman that I live with I am in an environment where I frequently meet new people The story Throughout recent years, I have been in ...
4
votes
1answer
263 views

How to ask a tourist outfitter about their competitor's products

A group of friends and I go on an annual summer trip river tubing and camping for a weekend. The last 4 times we've gone, we've used one particular outfitter, I'll call them outfitter A, to rent tubes ...
45
votes
13answers
15k views

What is the current etiquette in the US and UK regarding a man holding doors for female companions?

In my country of origin, Hungary, men should enter pubs and bars before their female companions, as opposed to holding the door for them. This is due to the assumption that pubs and bars can be ...
40
votes
6answers
9k views

How to establish boundaries with a roommate without confrontation?

For some context - this is my first semester in college where I'm having a roommate, and there have been several complications. It's off-campus housing and we don't attend the same university. My ...
45
votes
14answers
13k views

How can I address a man talking inappropriately about women? [duplicate]

Source is this twitter thread: https://twitter.com/MalwareJake/status/976848126987374593 Excerpt: She said that the guy who appeared to be the unofficial group leader started talking about one of ...
2
votes
1answer
495 views

Convincing Neighbors to Train Barking Dogs [closed]

Common problem, about 5 months ago I moved into a new house with next door neighbors that have a loud barking dog (actually 2 dogs ones older though not as much of a problem). So here's the breakdown ...
24
votes
4answers
6k views

How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her?

Context During family conversations my sister, who is 27, often interrupts the flow of a conversation with in order to mention something that is marginally related to the topic at hand. Most of the ...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

How to tell my uncle I don’t want to see his turtles at his turtle farm?

My uncle and I have a good relationship. He, unfortunately, lives in Colorado while I live in another state also in the U.S. Due to the distance, I don’t get to visit him very often, so when I get the ...

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