Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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97
votes
15answers
28k views

How can I avoid coming across as condescending when telling a coworker I can't work on an issue right now?

Being a programmer, I largely run on the logical/factual side which tends to get me in trouble with my emails being read in tones not intended. One email, I even was sat down with my boss for being "...
64
votes
13answers
23k views

How can I decline someone's business card with tact?

I am an engineer in a technical field, but I work regularly with sales, and I am often given business cards by vendors or customers at work. I know that I will never use them, and I almost always ...
10
votes
4answers
3k views

Discussing misuse of my partner's pronouns with their best friend?

For nearly half a year now my partner, "Jane", has taken to using non-binary gender pronouns (they/them) and has asked those around them to respect this decision. The problem is that their closest ...
62
votes
9answers
19k views

How to introduce metamours without causing awkwardness?

I am involved in a polyamorous relationship. Currently my wife has both a husband (me) and a boyfriend. We like to go out for normal "couple" type activities like dinner dates, movies, and attending ...
62
votes
12answers
47k views

Appropriate response when someone announces pregnancy?

When someone tells me that they or their partner are pregnant, my typical response is "Congratulations!" But I have found out that this remark is not always appropriate- notably when the pregnancy is ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

How can I have a relationship with my mother when I stand in moral opposition to what she believes? [closed]

I have spoken to my mother once in the past 8 months. She has done things which were disrespectful to my fiancee and her family, and she holds views which I feel are morally reprehensible. I want to ...
0
votes
1answer
154 views

What kind of birthday gift is appropriate for a recent friend? [closed]

A friend of mine has a birthday coming up and I want to give them a gift. Given my history of poor gift giving, I am trying to put more thought into this. However, we've only recently started talking (...
5
votes
3answers
1k views

How to ask a parent to help with something they disagree with fundamentally?

For perspective, I'm a young man and I don't live with my parents nor am I dependent on them in any way. Recently, I've started to grow an interest in learning to ride a motorcycle. My dad has been ...
15
votes
6answers
2k views

How to politely inform others that I don't drink?

I don't have a "good reason" for not drinking.I'm not religious, I don't have medical issues, a few family members are alcoholics but most of them don't abuse alcohol, I'm not conscious about what I ...
9
votes
1answer
2k views

How can I explain to my parents my decision to live in co-ed housing next year?

I'm male, 20, and going to university in the USA. My family is of Indian heritage, but lives in the U.S. They pay for most of my tuition and housing costs. In my particular cultural segment, it's ...
83
votes
14answers
33k views

How to enforce a “No Shoes” policy in my apartment?

I like to keep my apartment floor clean, as I enjoy walking around with bare feet after a shower without having to worry about them becoming dirty. As such, I don't like shoes beyond the doorway in my ...
5
votes
2answers
542 views

How to get rid of an unwanted gift from in-laws without hurting feelings?

A few months ago, my wife's father and his girlfriend told us they wanted to get us a big leather chair for Christmas. We didn't really want a leather chair, nor did we have anywhere to put it, so we ...
4
votes
1answer
225 views

How to start/keep conversations in professional conferences? [closed]

I am a Ph.D. candidate in the USA, and almost every three/four months, I go to different conferences. I have found it really hard sometimes to start, and more importantly, to KEEP conversations with ...
26
votes
5answers
13k views

How do I respond to someone apologizing for coughing/yawning?

Many times I'll be talking to someone and they'll yawn or cough (or something similar), then say "excuse me", or "sorry". I have no idea what type of response to give to this. If they'd sneezed, ...
3
votes
5answers
444 views

How to get out of visiting family as often without any hard feelings?

Growing up, we always had family dinners to celebrate birthdays and similar events like Mother's Day, Father's Day, and some other things that are personal to our family. These traditions have been ...
20
votes
2answers
3k views

How can I encourage discussion of sensitive topics with my girlfriend?

Background I have been dating my girlfriend for about three months. We are both in our mid 20s, grew up in the mid-western United States, and now live in New York City. She has defined boundaries for ...
0
votes
2answers
598 views

How to contact to partner after breakup who does not want to talk [closed]

My partner broke up with me few days ago and it is very surprising and devastating for me. For last 6 months we were in a great relationship and everything was going good. So, a little bit about the ...
8
votes
1answer
2k views

How to respond to “What happened to your face?”

Long story short, this weekend while playing with my sister she ended up leaving a large scratch down my face beneath my eye. It's pretty shallow and has barely hurt, but it's very obvious (as it's ...
53
votes
8answers
12k views

How to tell someone to be quiet immediately while listening to an announcement?

Backstory: my girlfriend and I were at a sporting event, having casual conversation, but an announcement came over the loud speaker that caught my interest and I wanted to hear. I turned my head so ...
3
votes
3answers
725 views

How to convince a founder it's time to let go of their “power?”

My grandmother is part of a sports fan club. This club is officially recognized by their team and receives exclusive benefits for their members such as early access to tickets that have early access ...
21
votes
8answers
6k views

How to tell whether someone would like to have my painting, without imposing a gift on them?

I paint as a hobby. Made few hi-bye friends at office because of this. I would be happy to give my painting to someone who truly appreciates it from the bottom of their heart. Usually when a painting ...
25
votes
7answers
13k views

Are there any ways to avoid unwanted approaches when not wearing a wedding ring?

I am happily married man and have no interest in engaging in a relationship outside of it. I have heard that wearing a wedding ring alerts women to the fact that I'm married and not looking for ...
11
votes
8answers
8k views

How to gently tell people NOT to use a nickname for me

My name is Thomas. People often call me Tom, as that is a standard nickname for Thomas. However, I have always gone by my full name. I don't identify with the name Tom. When it is used, I have to ...
5
votes
7answers
940 views

How to make getting to know someone less artificial?

(Or, am I over thinking everything) There is a girl (Jen) that I've been acquaintances with for about 3-4 years. I recently asked her if she would be okay with me getting to know her better. In my ...
34
votes
5answers
5k views

How to be firm on what I need without causing offense?

At least once a week, I have to get blood drawn to comply with a treatment regimen. I don't have a problem with this. I'm not afraid of needles. The trouble is that I can't always have the same ...
14
votes
3answers
8k views

How To Respond to Rude Cashier? [closed]

Once in a while I get coffee from a nearby shop. Lot of times, the ladies at the counter are rude; especially to me, because I look like a soft target. Really, I am not confrontational unless I am at ...
5
votes
5answers
2k views

How do I talk to my partner about them going to the doctor?

Background My partner and I have been dating for 9 years. We have been living together for the last 2 years. Since we started dating, my partner has not gone to the doctors for simple checkups, ...
8
votes
4answers
1k views

How can I decline an invitation from someone who is only asking because she feels sorry for me?

Long story short, I never had friends, and didn't know how to make any. I'm 2nd generation Indian, raised in the USA, if that's relevant. Only recently I have few hi-bye friends from office (who ...
15
votes
5answers
1k views

How to minimize embarrassment when I ask a question but they nod and smile?

The Background I work with a LOT of non-native English speakers. As such, miscommunications are a daily occurrence. I've noticed that sometimes when they don't understand something, they'll just nod ...
-1
votes
3answers
501 views

Etiquette question regarding conveying enthusiasm in email communications - used in academic settings

I have a friendly, close relationship with these professors - we are research collaborators and communicate daily. Our communication scope on emails is never personal, it's strictly about research ...
88
votes
6answers
26k views

How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything?

I have recently purchased a new home and have moved into a neighborhood. I would like to introduce myself to my immediate neighbors and offer them my telephone number in case there is an emergency or ...
3
votes
2answers
510 views

How to resolve conflict over differing sources of truth?

My mother is very relational. The people she knows and interacts with are important to her, and she has a natural inclination to value opinions and information presented to her by those people over ...
-1
votes
2answers
561 views

How to tactfully refuse outsiders to stay in your home [closed]

I am in USA (2nd generation Indian American, if that is relevant) and have witnessed situations where person A let person B (A's wife's distant relative) stay in their apartment, but they overstayed ...
44
votes
5answers
19k views

How do I tell someone I recently met that I am in a relationship?

Before I begin I am male I am in a long term relationship with a woman that I live with I am in an environment where I frequently meet new people The story Throughout recent years, I have been in ...
4
votes
1answer
257 views

How to ask a tourist outfitter about their competitor's products

A group of friends and I go on an annual summer trip river tubing and camping for a weekend. The last 4 times we've gone, we've used one particular outfitter, I'll call them outfitter A, to rent tubes ...
45
votes
13answers
14k views

What is the current etiquette in the US and UK regarding a man holding doors for female companions?

In my country of origin, Hungary, men should enter pubs and bars before their female companions, as opposed to holding the door for them. This is due to the assumption that pubs and bars can be ...
40
votes
6answers
9k views

How to establish boundaries with a roommate without confrontation?

For some context - this is my first semester in college where I'm having a roommate, and there have been several complications. It's off-campus housing and we don't attend the same university. My ...
45
votes
14answers
13k views

How can I address a man talking inappropriately about women? [duplicate]

Source is this twitter thread: https://twitter.com/MalwareJake/status/976848126987374593 Excerpt: She said that the guy who appeared to be the unofficial group leader started talking about one of ...
2
votes
1answer
492 views

Convincing Neighbors to Train Barking Dogs [closed]

Common problem, about 5 months ago I moved into a new house with next door neighbors that have a loud barking dog (actually 2 dogs ones older though not as much of a problem). So here's the breakdown ...
24
votes
4answers
6k views

How can I convey to someone that the way she communicates is awkward without upsetting her?

Context During family conversations my sister, who is 27, often interrupts the flow of a conversation with in order to mention something that is marginally related to the topic at hand. Most of the ...
-2
votes
2answers
870 views

Whether to Initiate Contact With Barista [duplicate]

I frequent a particular coffee shop 3-4 times a week, and am pretty familiar with the baristas, as I see them often. I've noticed one of them, C, is flirty and playful with me, and seems genuinely ...
11
votes
2answers
2k views

How to tell my uncle I don’t want to see his turtles at his turtle farm?

My uncle and I have a good relationship. He, unfortunately, lives in Colorado while I live in another state also in the U.S. Due to the distance, I don’t get to visit him very often, so when I get the ...
2
votes
1answer
737 views

What's the best way to talk to/meet a woman when you're an introvert who is nerdy/geeky type person? [closed]

Context: I am an introvert; I would classify myself as a creative problem solver with a love for art/math/science. Specifically drawing, computer programming, solving mathematical equations etc. My ...
4
votes
3answers
302 views

Politeness vs. conciseness in writing emails [duplicate]

I often find myself starting sentences with phrases like "I just want to let you know that", "I would like to ask if", "I am writing to discuss", or "I was wondering if" in emails. I could simply just ...
3
votes
3answers
753 views

How to convince people I don't want to attend an event?

Note- I used the 'United-States' tag, but this takes place on the US-Canada border. TL;DR: There is an event that everyone is excited for but me, and I don't know how to convince people I don't want ...
5
votes
2answers
886 views

How to politely repel negative suggestive comments about the work morale or atmosphere?

I am part of a group of software developers who work remotely in different parts of the world. Some of us work in the U.S. and some in 3 other countries. The colleagues that work outside of USA are ...
9
votes
3answers
2k views

How do I tell a roommate I'm not renewing his lease?

I'm currently renting a house and am subleasing rooms to three other people. I had signed a lease with the property owner, while the other tenants signed individual leases with me. One of the ...
23
votes
5answers
4k views

How do I tactfully ask a flight attendant what's going on if I know my plane has a problem?

I think it's worth explaining that I fall on the autism spectrum, so certain answers that may seem extremely obvious to others are not at all obvious to me. So I was on a flight recently (let's say, ...
16
votes
3answers
2k views

How to communicate support to someone who is emotionally disconnected?

I have a friend I'm having a hard time communicating with for the past few months. She's been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) for a handful of years (which has been the backbone ...
6
votes
5answers
865 views

How can I alleviate someone's upset feelings when I'm not getting a concept they're explaining?

I've been working on a particular website project with a friend from an old job I had. We started with our idea, and are at the point of going through network security for the login information, but I'...

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