Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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19
votes
4answers
7k views

Two friends and their wedlocked affair

I currently live in a house with 3 other people, my girlfriend Julie, and 2 friends Bob and John. Outside of our household, we have a friend named Jane, who is our only friend that is married in our ...
19
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4answers
6k views

Does the “never wear white to a wedding” rule of etiquette only apply to weddings attended in the United States?

As far as I have ever been aware, it has always been a rule of etiquette for a female guest to NEVER wear white when attending a wedding in the United States. It has always been my understanding that ...
19
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8answers
24k views

What is the right way to refer to someone with dark brown skin who is not African American?

I had a conversation recently where someone was deathly afraid of referring to a person by their skin color. It went something like this: Coworker: One of the people on the other team came by and ...
19
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8answers
16k views

Message being seen but not responded, what is the correct response?

I will sometimes ask a friend how their day was or another question via chat message. Sometimes the message will be marked as read but then they don't respond for a few day or even longer (6 months). ...
19
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3answers
1k views

How to ask someone to follow security protocol without sounding rude or commanding?

Situation My workplace uses key fobs to enter our building in all 4 locations except the entrance that opens up to the front desk. These locations are distributed fairly evenly on each side of the ...
19
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8answers
2k views

How best to avoid politics at family gatherings?

Live in the United States where my family (on all sides) are extremely polarized. Often at family gatherings (holiday, birthday, etc.) family discusses their political views in strong terms. This ...
18
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12answers
17k views

How should I respond when someone makes a self-deprecating remark about her look?

I had a look at that excellent earlier question, but think that these two questions are too different from each other. Situation It's about a group of friendly acquaintances and friends who have known ...
18
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5answers
4k views

How do I talk to someone through a translator?

I am a private piano teacher. I recently accepted a student who has only been living in the US for a couple weeks and does not know English. Her mother sits next to us during the lessons and ...
18
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2answers
2k views

How can I lay out my reasons to my girlfriend for why we shouldn't get married?

My girlfriend isn't a citizen of the US and I am. We've also have only been dating for 4 months. So when we first started dating she said that if I wasn't ready for commitment in the range of 1-3 ...
18
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4answers
1k views

How do I make it known to a group of friends that I need a little more patience to communicate with?

I am the kind of person that is quiet until I feel welcomed in a group of people, and even then, I still am relatively quiet until spoken to. Important information to consider: I am deaf with ...
17
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6answers
3k views

How do I tell my kids it's time to get off of the computer?

I want to be a nice dad, and not have to yell at them to get off their computers. I asked them 2 times already, and they reply "Not right now, dad". They are on it for about 8 hours a day, and that ...
17
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7answers
7k views

Is it rude to “sexile” someone the night before a test? [closed]

This question is being asked on behalf of a good friend of mine; I was not directly involved in the scenario. This past semester, a friend of mine in college was going to have his girlfriend over to ...
17
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8answers
6k views

How to approach a strategy game against a 5-10 year old child you don't know?

I saw a related question on Parenting, but this one is different, since it's a) about older children and b) not your own child. Disclaimer: This is based on the experience of a friend - I will call ...
17
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1answer
3k views

Breaking up well

Long story short, my ex and I split on pretty poor terms a couple months ago. They cheated again, I moved out, and now they're moving in with the person they cheated with... I'm trying to "break up ...
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4answers
4k views

Is this a good way (with respect to time) to disclose an STD to a potential partner? [closed]

Background I have HSV1 on my genitals; I don't get mouth sores. I got the diagnosis a couple of years ago. I've dated several people since then. I kissed my first potential partner (since the ...
16
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6answers
5k views

How can I ask reading people in public transport for the title of their book? [closed]

I travel with public transportation quite a bit, and I read a lot while commuting too. While I don't mind being asked what book I'm reading, other people might. I'm always on the lookout for new ...
16
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8answers
4k views

How can I ask for truly spicy food at a restaurant?

As a person who (at a glance) fits all the "can't handle spice" stereotypes, yet loves spicy food, I often find myself in the awkward position of having to ask for corrections after my food comes out. ...
16
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6answers
7k views

How to communicate to someone that I want to keep a relationship casual?

I didn't see a related or similar question, but if you can find one, please link it and I'll close this. Background I had little experience in high school and college and learned some of my skills ...
16
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5answers
8k views

How to ask a neighbor if I can replace our shared fence?

I recently moved into an older home with fences between my home and my neighbor's home. Based the way the fences are constructed, I believe that they are owned by the neighbors and not myself. One of ...
16
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7answers
9k views

How to invite people to an event who don't get along?

I'm hosting an event in a couple of weeks - my son's first birthday party. I have several people who I would like to invite. Unfortunately, some of them don't get along. This seems to be a one-sided ...
16
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6answers
2k views

How to respond to an older colleague who uses sub-optimal phrasing when referring to other racial groups?

I'm in a community organization in Texas that interacts with and reaches out to people of all ethnic groups, though most of the members are "white". I'm a new member of this organization and recently ...
16
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4answers
2k views

Conversing with a Conversation Hog

I find myself on occasion in a conversation with someone who really likes to talk and rarely stops to listen. This lends itself to me listening almost the whole time. Occasionally I have things I ...
16
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8answers
2k views

How can I support a friend with healthy weight loss?

I caught up with a friend recently, and she mentioned that she is trying to lose weight (she is overweight). She told me about the program she is using for it which sounded great and supportive. But ...
16
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1answer
1k views

How to respond to challenges about using the women's restroom as a trans woman

I'm a transgender woman, and I'm getting to the point in my transition where I'm starting to use the women's restroom. However, given the recent climate around transgender people using the appropriate ...
16
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4answers
2k views

What are some other ways to speak to a deaf person without ASL?

One of my friends online is deaf, and we met on a game and made friends through in game communication. We've set up to meet, but I realized I may have made a critical misstep in that I don't know ...
16
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3answers
2k views

How to communicate support to someone who is emotionally disconnected?

I have a friend I'm having a hard time communicating with for the past few months. She's been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) for a handful of years (which has been the backbone ...
16
votes
3answers
6k views

How do I help my girlfriend defend herself against manipulative parents?

Some Background My girlfriend's family moved to the US about 2 years ago to escape their home country (which is going through political and economic turmoil) to start over. Her mom sells insurance, ...
16
votes
2answers
895 views

How to tell someone you no longer wish to see them?

I currently have a friend that I’ve been talking to for many months. I find that it’s become draining on my emotional health to continue seeing them. In this case, I have developed feelings for them ...
15
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8answers
4k views

As a runner, should I move onto the road to avoid a collision?

I run daily, training in a suburban area with poor sidewalks. From time to time, I'll encounter a pedestrian going in the opposite direction. The sidewalk isn't quite wide enough for us both to pass, ...
15
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3answers
3k views

Is it rude to stay for only 30 minutes or an hour at my girlfriend's family barbecue? [closed]

The other day, I was invited by my girlfriend to her family's pre-4th-of-July barbecue, which was taking place later the same day. It involved her mom's side of the family, and about 15 relatives came....
15
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2answers
1k views

How inconvenienced will a server be if I ask them to split a check two ways? [closed]

I regularly go on dates with people where our dinner arrangement is to each pay for our own meal. When we ask a server to split the check (either by seat or 50/50 if there were multiple communal items)...
15
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4answers
1k views

Responding to unknown “popular culture” references?

Sometimes references will come up in conversation to players in different sports, singers, or other popular culture references, and most of the time they come up, I have no idea what's being talked ...
15
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3answers
2k views

How do I approach telling guests not to overstay their welcome?

I had a game night last night and two of my sister's friends came and played, one is male and 20, call him B, and the other is a female ~18 years old, call her L. When my husband was finishing his ...
15
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5answers
1k views

How to minimize embarrassment when I ask a question but they nod and smile?

The Background I work with a LOT of non-native English speakers. As such, miscommunications are a daily occurrence. I've noticed that sometimes when they don't understand something, they'll just nod ...
15
votes
1answer
980 views

Can I buy my friend a gift I am also going to buy a copy for myself? [closed]

My friend's birthday is next week. While I was shopping for her, I saw a nifty cat toy that would help keep her cat entertained while she was at work. I then realized that my cats would also enjoy a ...
14
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3answers
7k views

How To Respond to Rude Cashier? [closed]

Once in a while I get coffee from a nearby shop. Lot of times, the ladies at the counter are rude; especially to me, because I look like a soft target. Really, I am not confrontational unless I am at ...
14
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7answers
7k views

Should I lie to my friend if it inspires him to do something good? [closed]

Recently I was denied an application to work as a teacher's assistant for my school. My friend also applied, and he was denied too. My friend calls me, and asks me if I got the role or not. Before I ...
14
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6answers
1k views

How to politely inform others that I don't drink?

I don't have a "good reason" for not drinking.I'm not religious, I don't have medical issues, a few family members are alcoholics but most of them don't abuse alcohol, I'm not conscious about what I ...
14
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3answers
4k views

How to ask a friend/roommate to do/to stop doing something? And how not to feel bad asking?

There are different situations where I would like to ask a friend or a roommate to do something or to stop doing something. For example, I have a roommate that sometimes doesn't wash his dishes and ...
14
votes
3answers
1k views

How can I encourage cleaner habits to my partner?

Background I've been seeing my partner for a few years now. We are both young adults, have busy but stable jobs, and have our own living spaces. We have a very loving and supportive relationship. My ...
14
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3answers
1k views

Gently turning down undesired physical contact/setting boundaries in a nightclub environment

In many ways this question mirrors Asking a girl whether she would like to dance with me The setting: I am alone in a nightclub. I am located in a city/region known for being culturally progressive ...
13
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9answers
4k views

How to deal with an employer's backhanded compliments?

This is no longer a problem, as he has moved on and I have retired, but I still don't know how it could/should have been handled. I'll write it in the present tense, though. My employer in the ...
13
votes
5answers
7k views

How can I express disappointment while still being supportive of partner quitting smoking?

Background I met this girl, who we'll call Alice, about two years ago, and we have been casually dating for the past 2-ish months. She has been an off-and-on smoker for a handful of years, and when ...
13
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4answers
5k views

How can I ask my ex's parents how my ex is feeling after the break-up without making it too awkward?

My ex-boyfriend and I had a difficult break-up. We haven't talked much since but I recently got a message from him about how he can't even enjoy watching TV shows anymore because this is something we ...
13
votes
6answers
3k views

How can I gain an “acceptable” personal space talking with a “close talker”?

I'm frequently in a situation where the person I'm talking to stands so close to me that I feel their breath on my face when they are talking. For me, this is uncomfortable and I consider too close. ...
13
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5answers
2k views

How to adjust to a new country and its culture when people make you feel like an outsider [closed]

I'll be honest here, I've had a weird childhood. I was born to a German mother and an Indian father. I have a German citizenship, but as I moved to India when I was 2, I know the Indian culture much ...
13
votes
3answers
2k views

How to deal with wife's ex coming to our house over finances-related issues?

We live in Berwyn, IL, and commute to Chicago (well...my wife does, I work in Berwyn). I'm a transplant from Los Angeles, been here for 8 years now. Anyway, last Monday night, my wife's ex, a guy ...
13
votes
3answers
2k views

How to communicate to strangers that we don't want our children to believe in Santa Claus when they ask them?

My wife and I have small children who are finally old enough to realize that December is a special time of year (ages 4 and 2). For a myriad of reasons my wife and I have decided we won't present "...
13
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4answers
5k views

How do you avoid conflict with zealots?

I've been dealing with a rather uncomfortable situation for the last few days... To understand it best it's probably better to start from the beginning. I was raised in a very traditional, but rather ...
13
votes
4answers
4k views

How to react when a stranger suddenly shares intimate information with you? [closed]

I don't know if this is a common phenomenon, but it has happened to me already more than once. Maybe my opinion of what constitutes intimate information is too narrow, or I just appear to be ...

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