Questions tagged [united-states]

Questions that have a specific focus on people in the United States, or American culture.

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13
votes
4answers
2k views

How to communicate that you are not flirting with someone

As a loud, extroverted, and playful college student based in the United States I often find myself in situations where people (primarily women) think that I am flirting with them even when I am not. ...
13
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3answers
1k views

How do I determine my boss's position on transgender rights?

I am a transwoman. I am in the closet. I am starting to transition so staying in the closet long-term isn't an option. Before I come out of the closet I would like to gauge how I think people are ...
13
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2answers
3k views

How can we get a landscaper to stop blowing leaves into our yard?

My parents live on a somewhat busy but narrow two-lane road. Across the street from them lives an old couple whom we're on good terms with; in the past, they've helped us out with things, and we've ...
13
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4answers
2k views

How to politely decline continually viewing a coworkers child pictures?

To be clear, I have young children, I have pictures of my children, and I enjoy sharing same when asked about their health/welfare. Rarely do I spontaneously share unless they have done something ...
13
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2answers
2k views

My dog and I offended a new neighbor. How do we make it right?

Things are hopping in the neighborhood with new neighbors and new problems. Some are hard to believe. With three dogs, the youngest (6 months old) with reactivity issues (which usually show up at ...
13
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4answers
988 views

How do I improve the quality and smoothness of my reactions in social interactions, without having actual conversations? [closed]

Especially with new coworkers I feel arrested for words as greetings and chitchat begin. Like I lack an entire chapter of some phrasebook that everyone else seems to have internalized. Monday mornings ...
12
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3answers
4k views

Asking an ex-girlfriend out to coffee, now that she's married and has a child

One of my closest girl friends that I dated for a while - and then remained close friends with even after we decided to just be friends - got married over the past two years and also just had a baby. ...
12
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5answers
1k views

Correcting what I see as factual errors in a political discussion

The day after the United States 2016 election, I attended a public political discussion club in the United States. I personally am very left-leaning, but this club was a conservative club; in fact, ...
12
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7answers
1k views

How to Address My Weight in Conversations With Friends

I am a 38-year-old female and I am overweight (5'3", 210 lbs). I occasionally make remarks about my weight in conversations with friends. I don't do it in a self-deprecating way; I just mention it as ...
12
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4answers
4k views

How do I bring up one-sided sex to my sexually inexperienced girlfriend without pressuring her into anything?

I've been dating my girlfriend for a few months now and I have given oral and fingered her frequently, but that's the furthest she's gone with anyone. I feel like merely bringing up or suggesting ...
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3answers
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How do I make friends with service staff at restaurants/bars?

There are people at my local brewery I enjoy chatting with casually during down time. We've had some good conversation and things have gone great. My problem is how do I go about inviting them to ...
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3answers
2k views

How can I tell my mom that I found more beer in my brother's room while I was snooping?

Recently, I found my brother's stash of alcohol in the basement while looking for some paint. I told my mom about it, and she took care of it and decided to have a talk with him once he gets back from ...
12
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4answers
2k views

How do you stress that safety is non-negotiable at work?

I've been struggling with a recurring problem with my immediate supervisor at work for the last year or so. He tends to take a very lax attitude when it comes to safety policies, procedures, and ...
12
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3answers
2k views

How to respond to rejected sympathy?

I am in a growing friendship. I hope we call it a strong friendship soon. It's mostly based on a common goal, but also a commitment of support. This is not in a professional context at all, this is a ...
12
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2answers
748 views

How to politely deal with strangers who aggressively hand out religious tracts or preach to you seemingly out of nowhere?

This question is not being posted to get into a religion or freedom of speech debate, but rather present the idea that regardless of religious beliefs, aggressive and pushy behavior wrapped in the ...
12
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1answer
3k views

How to compliment a woman’s makeup?

Situation: Yesterday I was instructed to go to a small conference several of my colleagues were attending. It was short in duration and gave everyone the opportunity to socialize a bit after it was ...
12
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2answers
186 views

Does a greetings card require a return in kind?

Cards are sent, especially at "holiday time" (Christmas, New Years, and Hanukkah), with varying levels of intent based on the level of relationship. While some people send such "seasonal greetings" ...
12
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2answers
2k views

Happy Juneteenth?

I recently learned about Juneteenth. For anyone not familiar: Juneteenth is the oldest nationally celebrated commemoration of the ending of slavery in the United States. From its Galveston, Texas ...
12
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2answers
1k views

Tactfully declining a family Thanksgiving invitation

That time of year is approaching once again. Tis' the season for social obligation, and my cousin has already started in about Thanksgiving via text messages. This year has brought a bit of a twist in ...
12
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2answers
2k views

How do you deal with someone who always has to one up everyone?

Have you ever met one of those people who's been everywhere and done everything and doesn't know anyone who hasn't? Like no matter what you have to say they have to tell a bigger, better, and often ...
11
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8answers
5k views

How to gently tell people NOT to use a nickname for me

My name is Thomas. People often call me Tom, as that is a standard nickname for Thomas. However, I have always gone by my full name. I don't identify with the name Tom. When it is used, I have to ...
11
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3answers
5k views

How can I find out if my gf only wants me for a green card?

I'm a US citizen and I began dating a girl from an online website. We've known each other for a month and have been officially dating for about two weeks. She told me on the second date that she ...
11
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6answers
1k views

How can I politely tell parents of kids to stop playing with my son's toys/equipment to give him and his friends a chance?

Quite often we go to the park, or host a party and we have a few things like Stomp Rockets or Jumpers or other such things/toys. There are quite a few kids who look at longingly and want to come over (...
11
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5answers
2k views

How to avoid writing Yelp reviews

I'm a fairly social person. Occasionally I'll engage with a local business owner (or manager, service rep, etc) when I really appreciate their service. Here's a couple quick examples... While eating ...
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2answers
2k views

How to tell my uncle I don’t want to see his turtles at his turtle farm?

My uncle and I have a good relationship. He, unfortunately, lives in Colorado while I live in another state also in the U.S. Due to the distance, I don’t get to visit him very often, so when I get the ...
11
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2answers
2k views

How to respond when someone that doesn't know my age invites me to something I can't do

Background: I am a 16 year old in high school and due to various opportunities (namely being homeschooled) I have been able to take many courses at a local college. Until recently I have been taking ...
11
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5answers
3k views

What to say to steer passive-aggressive narcissist parent(s) away from saying guilt-tripping statements to me or other people?

My relationship with my dad has been rocky the past 9+ years. After divorcing my mom when I was 16, (I am 25 now) his passive-aggressive narcissist behavior has become more prevalent. For example, he ...
11
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4answers
3k views

Chronic illness at work; navigating genuine “how are you?” questions

I'm a 23-year-old woman in the United States. I have several chronic illnesses that in turn manifest in more short-term symptoms. I doubt all the particulars are actually relevant here (correct me if ...
11
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2answers
2k views

How can I ask someone in a quiet library to stop clearing their throat?

I have ADHD and as such have terrible difficulty maintaining my concentration, especially when working on homework. Because of this, I often like to work on the "quiet floor" of my university's ...
11
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4answers
1k views

How do you deal with someone that wants to converse in a public bathroom?

Most public restrooms for men in the US have a row of urinals separated by a small wall shingle bolted to the wall. These are usually around shoulder height on me, so do not block vision sideways. ...
11
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6answers
1k views

If I want a child to stop a behavior, should I talk directly to the child or to the parents?

Consider a case where a young child is doing something that directly impacts me, and most everyone would consider it reasonable to want them to stop. Here are a few real examples of things they've ...
11
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3answers
733 views

Tactful way to explain that I have trouble recognizing faces?

I have mild developmental prosopagnosia. It is very difficult for me to recognize people, particularly if I have not seen them in a while, or if they're in a context I'm not expecting. If I have ...
11
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5answers
3k views

What is the etiquette for hosting your own birthday event? Who pays?

I've never really had friends, so I've never really celebrated my birthday. This year, though, I wanted to invite my friends out somewhere, perhaps Topgolf [1] (not an advertisement, trying to give ...
11
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2answers
694 views

How do I deal with accents and my audio processing issues without annoying people?

I'm fairly certain that I have audio processing disorder - basically, I can hear sounds just fine, but I seriously struggle with comprehending what I hear, as I will often misunderstand words or have ...
10
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4answers
3k views

Discussing misuse of my partner's pronouns with their best friend?

For nearly half a year now my partner, "Jane", has taken to using non-binary gender pronouns (they/them) and has asked those around them to respect this decision. The problem is that their closest ...
10
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6answers
1k views

How to tell a friend I don't want to continue giving him advice?

A friend of mine, who was one year behind in college and in the same graduate program, will soon graduate and is in the look out for a job. This friend has being asking me for advice (I'm very well ...
10
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2answers
1k views

How can I ask my opposite-sex acquaintance to go to a museum with me?

I recently moved to a new city and there is a girl who I am interested in having a friendship with. I see her everyday besides weekends in orchestra where I usually make some mild chatter with her, ...
10
votes
4answers
796 views

How to use book knowledge in casual conversation?

I'm an avid reader of non-fiction. Most books I read are very relevant to the real world (topics such as psychology, history, various religions, parenting, racial tensions in America, etc.) Quite a ...
10
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4answers
2k views

How can I ask if a person is leaving a parking space?

Yesterday, I was going out with a friend. We were looking for parking in a small city (population ~30,000) in the northeastern United States at around 6:00 PM, and things were fairly crowded. After 20 ...
10
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3answers
2k views

How to make friends during class?

I find the classroom -- whether it be a lecture hall or a smaller class with fewer than 15 people -- to be a difficult environment to build friendships. I'm an extroverted college-aged male. I have ...
10
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1answer
1k views

How can I tactfully talk to a CFO about preventing scope creeping?

I'm frequently tasked with working on projects that need fleshing out in order to become viable products. For instance, when creating reports for a specific cost analysis, changes are usually needed ...
10
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3answers
770 views

How do I use body language to indicate that I am thinking?

My Problem When people give me large amounts of information, I will take plenty of time to process it before giving a response. The amount of time I take usually ranges from 30 seconds to a few ...
10
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2answers
1k views

How can I tell my boss that the informational inaccuracies aren't my fault without sounding whiny?

I run a report that requires significant data entry and is used in determining overarching financial decisions within our company that was created by some consultants I was hired to replace. I have no ...
10
votes
3answers
555 views

How to request close friends to improve food serving cleanliness?

I spent New Year's yesterday at the home of a close friend. I ate dinner at his house along with his family and extended family. I generally enjoy their place except for one thing - lapses in food ...
10
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1answer
1k views

How to talk to my wife regarding educating children about religion?

I was raised Roman Catholic, however I don't really follow any organized religion. I have my own beliefs regarding Deity, but don't attend a recognized (or unrecognized for that matter) religious ...
10
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3answers
607 views

Inviting colleague from work to hang out outside office hours

Background: I started a new job about two months ago in a new city. I've been getting to know people decently, I suppose. There are a couple people whose company I really enjoy, though I don't know ...
9
votes
6answers
4k views

How do I tactfully avoid interacting with a person I meet on the way to work every day, at a subway station?

This is not a question about how to say no to street vendors. I specifically want to know how I can avoid interacting with a particular person who just happens to be a street vendor. He could be any ...
9
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3answers
2k views

How rude is “ladies first rule” in USA? [closed]

I am a male brazilian (born and living) software developer. I'm part of a remote team with people living in Brazil and in USA (born in other countries as well). We've been working together for 1 month....
9
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6answers
4k views

How can my cousin restore harmony between his Indian mother and American mother-in-law?

Someone asked me in a comment, what is my role in all this? Good question. I am not at all close with Aunt but I am close with my cousin (son of Aunt) and he needs help to keep his mother and mother-...
9
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4answers
2k views

How to tell someone they broke my code and ask them to (help) fix it?

I started a new programming job recently and just wrapped up my first task. As part of it, I had to change a critical line in a file from ABC to XYZ. For my second task, a coworker mentioned that it ...

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