All Questions

Filter by
Sorted by
Tagged with
42
votes
9answers
6k views

Appropriate ways to dismiss street vendors?

In the Netherlands, it seems to be quite common lately to hire some students, put them on a busy main street or outside a supermarket, and have them target every passerby by asking 'Can I ask you ...
132
votes
18answers
26k views

How to get spouse to empathetically listen to problems instead of offering solutions?

My spouse and I have a recurring problem. I will try to talk about my day, which may include a tough problem that has been frustrating me. Before I've even had a chance to explain what is going on, he ...
190
votes
18answers
62k views

How to ask cashier out for date

I am 21 years old and living in a large city in Germany where smalltalk in local markets is not a common thing. A new cashier joined my local food shop. She’s always at the checkout and never doing ...
85
votes
9answers
46k views

How to get friends/partner to stop texting me pointless pictures/videos

I have a handful of close friends, including my partner, who frequently text me with a completely random picture or video of something cute and/or funny that they found on the internet. For example, a ...
145
votes
16answers
25k views

Arguing science with a passionate non-scientist?

As a physician for more than three decades and a Molecular Biologist before that, I know a lot of science and medicine (I also keep up with the literature.) I find that people hold on tightly to ...
175
votes
14answers
34k views

How to tell people I'm not their tech support?

I have a rather common problem for people in my field of study (computer science). The problem is this: People, especially relatives, ask you stuff about their computer-related problems, for example: "...
184
votes
10answers
41k views

How to ask a vegan to stop telling me about veganism because I am not interested in it?

I work in an office with a couple of vegan coworkers. If I bring any animal products to lunch (even cheese, which they can smell), I'm likely to get a long earful about it. In the past, I've listened ...
34
votes
9answers
17k views

How to use Social Penetration Theory to increase closeness with someone who doesn't normally talk about their feelings

I recently heard about Social Penetration Theory where the basic principle is that "in relationships, as people disclose more about themselves over time, those relationships develop layer by layer, ...
74
votes
21answers
34k views

How can I deal diplomatically with a feminist neighbor who continuously delivers political speeches in private?

This question is unlikely to have a very strong cultural context so I welcome answers from members all over the world. I met this person (code name Jane D) when I was studying sociology at Masters ...
72
votes
9answers
24k views

How can I politely tell someone I won't do my job for free?

I am a relatively open individual who is shy (for lack of a better word) around new people. One of my coworkers has a business and is asking for my help as a financial analyst outside of work, and ...
40
votes
8answers
18k views

How to respond to “When are you getting married”?

My question is similar to: How can I respond when someone asks me when I'm going to get married to my girlfriend? But my case is pretty different. I am a teacher and hence can't avoid public and ...
39
votes
6answers
4k views

What impact does “mirroring” have on other people?

Mirroring is mimicking the body language of the person you are talking to. It is sometimes recommended for people to help "break the ice." But how does it create a positive impression? What do ...
47
votes
20answers
9k views

How can I tell people that my girlfriend and I don't want children of our own?

Every time there's a baby involved in any sort of conversation (new parent, talking about kids, etc.), if I'm involved the question inevitably turns to me and my girlfriend, and when we plan to have ...
26
votes
6answers
8k views

Is it possible for my friend to resume communication with his unofficial sister without earning her husband's mistrust?

Note: this question may have a strong Indian context, but I am looking for inputs from members all over the world. Eight years ago a close friend of mine, aged 30 at the time, met an 18-year-old girl ...
141
votes
11answers
76k views

How to tell girlfriend I don't want to meet without hurting her feelings?

My girlfriend and I have "fixed" days we see each other, because we normally don't have time on other days. Sometimes, it happens that her training gets cancelled and she has time that evening and ...
124
votes
14answers
26k views

How to deal politely with people asking about your job but unable to understand it?

I work as a researcher in a very abstract field of Mathematics (this kind of thing) It is very pure Mathematics, without any concrete applications. When I meet somebody for the first time, they often ...
104
votes
9answers
22k views

How to tell someone believing in pseudoscience & conspiracy theories is wrong without making them feel stupid/upset?

A close family member of mine is a raw vegan, anti vaxer, anti-antibiotics, anti-fluoride, believes in chemtrails, has a machine that filters water and makes it alkaline, eats lots of supplements, ...
112
votes
15answers
35k views

How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?

I live with my parents. My father likes to challenge nearly everything I say, up to the point of ridiculousness. I can prove many of the things he challenges but not immediately. In most cases his ...
68
votes
6answers
30k views

How can I try to get my coworkers to stop their jokes on LGBTQ+ people

Context I have been in this company for 5 months now and I'm sharing an office with four men (35 to 55 y.o.). They all are white, heterosexual cis men. For the record I'm a white, 22 y.o., ...
89
votes
8answers
24k views

Dealing with somebody who's ignoring my very existence

Background I have a group of friends, and we've known each other for about 7 years now. We once all were colleagues. One of these friends, Alice, has an autism spectrum disorder. This friend got ...
67
votes
12answers
22k views

Stopping a relationship with a good friend because It's too overwhelming and new for me

Context : I'm in my early forties and I've always been a loner and never really made friends. Until recently I didn't even know what was so great about them. I don't have any problems socializing, ...
75
votes
23answers
31k views

Is it rude to ask someone where they are from originally? [closed]

Introduction This question is different from this excellent one, since it is not about tourists. The differences will become clear later on, I hope. I will, as usual, use fake names (Alice and Eve ...
75
votes
9answers
17k views

How to redirect a real-life help vampire to an alternate source of food… um… assistance?

I've recently had some troubles with a help-vampire in the office. She's about my age (late twenties), from India and she doesn't speak Dutch. She works in the same office as me, but not on the same ...
31
votes
5answers
11k views

How to help my girlfriend get her confidence back? [closed]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year now, and while I consider her to be an amazing person, she has an extremely low opinion of herself, calling herself "worthless" or the ...
64
votes
8answers
16k views

How do I announce my presence to someone who is not aware of it without frightening them?

First of all, I'm not sneaking up on people on purpose. But it seems, that I'm quite Ninja-like in my movements and this has caused problems. People are immersed in something (e. g. computer, TV, ...
19
votes
2answers
2k views

How to create a mindset which promotes fluid and spontaneous talk

I often find myself having issues having "smalltalk" or talks which are not directly aiming for some kind of solution or end, but are rather for amusement and as a pastime. When talking with people, ...
12
votes
5answers
4k views

“But you don't look autistic” isn't a nice thing to say

"But you don't look autistic" (meaning: "you don't behave like an autistic person") is a sentence that a lot of neurotypical people (NT) say to people on the autistic spectrum (...
28
votes
5answers
41k views

How to gently tell someone that you just want to be friends?

Already many months ago, "Bob" joined my circle of friends. He has a plethora of good character traits and it is really great to hang out with him. In addition, he is a bit shy and also introverted. ...
30
votes
6answers
10k views

Is it appropriate to tell someone of the opposite gender “your fly is down”?

I just spent 15 minutes talking in the hallway at work with a male coworker (I'm female) about the recent arrival of their second child. I spent the last five minutes of that chat trying to decide if ...
28
votes
7answers
8k views

How to accept an apology, without implying that there was no problem?

An older man barges into me. While I think he could have prevented that, I don't assume he had any bad intentions. He then apologizes and I want to accept the apology, but how? Just saying "It's OK" ...
14
votes
3answers
10k views

How to respond to self-deprecating remarks

I have a few friends who will try to manipulate me with self deprecating remarks. Perhaps I've been helping them with something for a while and am obviously making moves to leave when they say ...
23
votes
4answers
11k views

How can I politely tell someone that they should take a shower?

When I was in college, myself and a few friends gathered weekly to play D&D together. One friend had weekly track & field sessions scheduled prior to our meet-ups. Usually, this wasn't an ...
152
votes
12answers
47k views

My fiancée is addicted to a “free-to-play” (pay-to-win) game

My fiancée and I have been living together for exactly 4 years as of today. She and I have always loved video games, we both own several consoles (PS4, Nintendo DS, Nintendo Switch etc), we actually ...
93
votes
11answers
56k views

How to clearly communicate that you're asking someone on a date?

It seems to me that it's sometimes difficult to both stay within the social protocol and also communicate your intentions clearly. As an example of this, I once asked a girl I knew out to see a ...
97
votes
11answers
62k views

How to respond to someone when they ask how much you earn? [closed]

When I'm at social gatherings/parties, people would inquire about my job and, because I'm an app developer, they think I earn substantially more than I do. (Oh, the joy!) They then follow up asking ...
51
votes
9answers
20k views

How to deal with strong political disagreements with my sensitive girlfriend?

Me and my girlfriend (both in our early 20s) disagree a lot on various political issues in and out of our country, and those disagreements cause her a lot of grief as she is a very sensitive person ...
68
votes
15answers
17k views

How to tell friends something goes against my religion?

I am currently in middle school, and as many of you know, profanity is thrown around in middle school like clothes in a dryer. My religion prohibits me from being profane, how can I tell my friends ...
81
votes
22answers
20k views

Is it rude to ask tourists where they are from?

“So… Where are you from?” It's normal small talk for us, most Indians; and only general whereabouts is expected. In my tours in India, I've met some foreigners along the way, usually western. I ...
40
votes
12answers
14k views

Colleague thinks that he is too slow

Background I am frequently working with a colleague who is a little bit junior to me (but not particularly "fresh" - he has been in the company for over 10 years in a lead developer/expert ...
44
votes
7answers
14k views

How to say “I'm an adult now” to my parents?

I have an issue with my parents meddling in my personal choices. Let's say they are neutral habits, which means you can't say it's good or bad, like shaking my feet when I'm idle - note that this does ...
42
votes
3answers
25k views

Two people from small group of friends want to have a “meeting” with me. The circumstances are strange and give me a bad feeling

I have a small group of friends that get together and hangout. Usually we hangout on Fridays. We usually go to the same person's home. One person from this group (call him Bob) contacted me. He said ...
35
votes
15answers
4k views

How can I calm myself down when giving a presentation? [closed]

So, I have to give presentations in school, and of course the number of those presentations is just going to increase (I'm just entering highschool). I'm a classic nerd and my social skills are......
26
votes
5answers
10k views

Asking someone to use their native language without being rude

Sometimes, I find myself in a conversation with people who can't speak English (or some other language) with standard pronunciation. Of course, not everyone has good speaking skills to begin with, and ...
23
votes
8answers
10k views

How can I best let my once-close friend know that I think our friendship is over--if at all? [closed]

My once-closest friend and I have seriously drifted apart. It's come as far as that I do not want to invest any more energy in the friendship and I'd prefer it to just quietly end. I am unsure, ...
56
votes
8answers
17k views

How to politely receive someone when you don't know how to pronounce their name?

The situation is a one-on-one meeting with someone I have never met before. I don't know much about that guest, just their profession or connection to our organization, not even if they are from a ...
38
votes
7answers
11k views

How to tell a friend I can see through her swimming suit

I (male) and a friend (female) went swimming in a public outdoor pool together. She met with another female friend there. When she (my friend) sat outside for a couple minutes the sun made her ...
18
votes
1answer
1k views

What is “holding space” and how do I do it?

I recently came across an article titled A Man's Guide To "Holding Space", which was linked in an answer to this question. I had never heard the term before, but recognised some of my own ...
80
votes
8answers
18k views

How to discuss girlfriend's weight loss plans?

My girlfriend is in the process of losing weight, and the topic comes up between us occasionally (at her instigation), usually with a context of "I'm going to be so much hotter in a few months". She'...
21
votes
4answers
3k views

Joining an existing group of friends

Many times we try to blend in with some friend's friends. However, being accepted into that group of friends is not so simple, for a few reasons. While hanging around that group does allow someone ...
20
votes
3answers
8k views

How can we ask neighbours to be more quiet without escalating?

We are living in an apartment, so obviously there are a lot of 'living' noises surrounding us. Even though we don't mind the regular noises (someone listening to his music a little louder, someone ...

15 30 50 per page
1
2 3 4 5
12