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100
votes
11answers
26k views

I have been asked to keep a secret about a surprise that I believe will end poorly

My parents have been divorced for roughly 40 years. The separation was unpleasant, as divorces frequently are, but so were the following decades. They have not spoken to each other outside of a ...
99
votes
9answers
17k views

Refusing free goods as a blind person

As a severely visually impaired person, I use a white cane in the public and unfamiliar shops for identification purposes and as a mobility aid. I regularly encounter sellers at bakeries or fast food ...
98
votes
17answers
42k views

How do you deal with colleagues, acquaintances asking you for knowledge that you gained with months of effort?

I'm pretty sure that these are things that we all face. Let's say that you spent months researching about something (be it moving from full time job to being a freelancer, creating a website, starting ...
98
votes
8answers
18k views

My best friend has become increasingly xenophobic towards Muslims. What do I do?

My best friend (let's call him Bob for potential answerers) whom I have been friends with since childhood (around 15 years) has become increasingly xenophobic recently. He's a great person and ...
98
votes
5answers
21k views

How to talk to a one night stand about her potential breast lumps issues?

I'm Brazilian, 23, and I went on a date with a Tinder match yesterday afternoon. At some point things got more intense and as I was fondling her breasts I felt two big lumps on her left one. We've ...
97
votes
15answers
28k views

How can I avoid coming across as condescending when telling a coworker I can't work on an issue right now?

Being a programmer, I largely run on the logical/factual side which tends to get me in trouble with my emails being read in tones not intended. One email, I even was sat down with my boss for being "...
97
votes
11answers
62k views

How to respond to someone when they ask how much you earn? [closed]

When I'm at social gatherings/parties, people would inquire about my job and, because I'm an app developer, they think I earn substantially more than I do. (Oh, the joy!) They then follow up asking ...
97
votes
11answers
26k views

How to deal with (male) friends mocking me about my weight choices

A while ago, I went through a phase. I gained weight, lots of it. I'm not proud of what I had become. Recently (the last four months) I have been going to the gym regularly, losing weight and getting ...
97
votes
12answers
24k views

How do I negotiate more “Man” time for myself without offending my partner?

I am almost 50, my partner moved in with me a few years ago (I was a widower before then), we have no children. During this period, I've grown a little more frustrated that I don't get much time to ...
94
votes
17answers
23k views

How to handle people blocking your view and breaking the rules at the theater by not sitting in their assigned seats?

A while ago, my parents/brothers and I went to visit a theatre performance (in The Netherlands, where we live). We booked really nice first class tickets with empty seats in front of us. We booked ...
94
votes
16answers
24k views

How to address a double standard where my religious colleagues consider it OK to discuss religion, but then ask me not to?

I'm working in a small office of about ten employees, all of whom are religious apart from myself. Although I'm open about my atheism and write about it on my blog, I am careful not to discuss ...
94
votes
5answers
13k views

How to help a male-presenting person shop for women's clothes?

I'm a new store manager for a women's clothing store and I have been receiving male-presenting customers that are looking for women's clothes for themselves. I want to give them the best, supportive ...
93
votes
14answers
95k views

How to respond when a Doctor's Receptionist asks the reason for the appointment, after confirming appointment is made?

I have recently come across a situation that made me feel very uncomfortable, especially if it had been more of a personal issue. I contacted my doctor yesterday with pains in my hand/wrist as I didn'...
93
votes
9answers
33k views

As a woman, how to avoid angry stares from other people's wives or girlfriends [closed]

I am a moderately good looking woman. With basic makeup and hair styling, I can make myself look pretty. This is my preferred look when I go out. I often get a lot of stares, sometimes admiring and ...
93
votes
11answers
56k views

How to clearly communicate that you're asking someone on a date?

It seems to me that it's sometimes difficult to both stay within the social protocol and also communicate your intentions clearly. As an example of this, I once asked a girl I knew out to see a ...
93
votes
5answers
18k views

How do I tell my internet friends I'm actually female?

So I joined this online group roughly 2 years ago for a specific purpose that I thought would be short lived. It's centered primarily around a sports team and I came there from a social media site ...
92
votes
9answers
22k views

Covering for person who refuses to tip waiter without offending?

I had some guests in town visiting from Europe this past weekend. They wanted to treat me to a nice meal as a thank you for me hosting them so we went out to one of my favorite restaurants, which was ...
91
votes
19answers
32k views

Sketchy “friend” recently revealed true colors, is attending my wedding. Should I un-invite, and if so how?

I have a very tricky situation that has come up. I am getting married in two weeks (as the groom, age 39), and my fiancée (bride-to-be) has invited a close friend "Lucy" who is bringing her own ...
90
votes
10answers
32k views

Is it rude to wear a sari as a westerner to a wedding in India?

I am a Canadian woman and I will be attending a wedding in India in January. There will be Indian and Canadian people in attendance. I was wondering if it is rude (or expected) to wear a sari to the ...
90
votes
13answers
33k views

How can I ask my girlfriend to be my gym buddy without hurting her feelings?

I've recently started dating a girl and we're an item, and are happy hanging out together. We have strong feelings for each other. She is somewhat overweight (not hugely so but not at a healthy ...
89
votes
16answers
35k views

How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard?

Please note, I don't want to be mean or anything and I don't want to go "fat shaming" or things like that. Context With my SO and a couple of friends, we planned a hike for this summer. The GR20 is ...
89
votes
10answers
27k views

What to do with a friend who cheats in games?

What to do with a friend who slightly improves his chances in the card or board games we play, by, for example, picking another card while we don't look or turning the dice? The games are played for ...
89
votes
9answers
25k views

I'm in a committed relationship and I'm being hit on in the workplace - how do I stop it without bringing it to HR?

Some Background I'm a 21 year old female I'm living in west Europe I am in a committed relationship with my boyfriend The Problem I recently started an internship for the summer which is amazing ...
89
votes
8answers
24k views

Dealing with somebody who's ignoring my very existence

Background I have a group of friends, and we've known each other for about 7 years now. We once all were colleagues. One of these friends, Alice, has an autism spectrum disorder. This friend got ...
88
votes
6answers
26k views

How can I give out my telephone number to my neighbors without implying anything?

I have recently purchased a new home and have moved into a neighborhood. I would like to introduce myself to my immediate neighbors and offer them my telephone number in case there is an emergency or ...
88
votes
17answers
21k views

How to deal with someone who ignores your lack of knowledge?

I purposely made this question generally broad so that it can apply to more people in need of similar interpersonal skills, but I can easily make it about a specific scenario if needed. Problem My ...
87
votes
9answers
21k views

What is the etiquette for asking a dog owner before I pet their dog?

Dogs are what I see mostly out on my day to day activities and I see some tied up outside shops and I'll pet them, I'll also pet some in passing i.e. just stroking them as I walk past and sometimes as ...
87
votes
13answers
39k views

Coworker scans my body. How to best tell him to stop?

So, a (male) coworker of mine has the annoying habit of scanning my (female) body each time he walks by. By "scanning" I mean he's looking me up and down; essentially making it clear he is looking at ...
86
votes
11answers
44k views

Disclosing my past relationships to my girlfriend

My girlfriend and I are both in our early 20's in the US. We have been together for almost 3 years and have been living together for a few months now. While I've been with other girls before her, I ...
86
votes
9answers
34k views

How do I tell a friend I can't afford her wedding?

TL;DR – How do I tell a childhood friend (who has been spoiled her whole life) that both my parents and I most likely cannot afford to travel for her wedding (to which I am to be a bridesmaid) without ...
86
votes
9answers
21k views

Apologizing when you've hurt a stranger's feelings badly

Yesterday in vocational school I (mostly inadvertently) hurt someone's feelings very badly. In our IT class in vocational school, there is just one girl. She's pretty overweight. I don't know her ...
85
votes
8answers
45k views

How can I avoid the awkwardness of a returning player who wears a low-cut shirt?

Sometimes I run RPG events for strangers, advertising on meetup.com to get people. At these events, I spend around three hours asking the players what the characters are doing and narrating the ...
85
votes
10answers
28k views

How do I gently reject an indecent proposal?

Background People: Bob, John and Alice are old acquaintances of mine. They are a little older than me, mid-to-late twenties. We are not close friends, but we get along together well and see each other ...
85
votes
17answers
25k views

How do I respond when an acquaintance asks if I'm smart?

I recently graduated college and I am now working as a programmer at a startup tech company for a year. I'm a competent programmer, but I'm definitely not a rock-star. When I'm meeting other young ...
85
votes
12answers
21k views

How do I answer a question about not enjoying a party without revealing sensitive information

I don't go to parties often, in fact I actively avoid it as much as humanly possible. Still, sometimes social obligations get the better of me and I begrudgingly attend. Most of the times then I'll ...
85
votes
8answers
59k views

How to reject a proposal from a close friend?

I have been friends with a girl at work for more than a year. I have always seen her as a friend and I am pretty sure I never did anything to lead her on. I am going to switch jobs in a couple of ...
85
votes
9answers
46k views

How to get friends/partner to stop texting me pointless pictures/videos

I have a handful of close friends, including my partner, who frequently text me with a completely random picture or video of something cute and/or funny that they found on the internet. For example, a ...
84
votes
12answers
24k views

How to defuse or prevent an adult temper tantrum

Background: my partner and I are in our late twenties. We have lived together for about a year. He does maybe 20% of the housework, arguing that I have more free time because I work fewer hours. When ...
84
votes
10answers
27k views

I offered to help neighbor, how to discuss compensation?

I saw my neighbor post on social media that they wanted help with some computer related tasks. We have never met or had any interaction before. I offered to come help them for no compensation. They ...
84
votes
12answers
19k views

How do I ask for an espresso if there's a good chance they don't know how to make it?

I like coffee and I live in Russia which is not generally a coffee drinking country. More often than not, when you ask for an espresso in Russia, you get 100 to 150 ml of liquid in your cup. The ...
84
votes
10answers
15k views

How do I respond when someone is glad their loved one's suffering will end soon due to death?

I recently had a conversation like this: Coworker: I just wanted to let you know that I'm probably going to be out early next week. My father is on death's door. Me: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. ...
84
votes
9answers
18k views

Responding to people questioning my single status?

Background I am a computer programmer working as a graduate student under a biochemistry department in a university affiliated hospital. So far I have had a very successful career, having written ...
83
votes
14answers
38k views

How do I politely explain to my neighbour that I don't feel comfortable being alone with her in her house while my kids play?

We recently moved into a new neighborhood, as did our neighbor, Jane. I have two young girls (4 and 5), and Jane has a boy and girl (7 I think?). My kids love to play with them, and her kids seem to ...
83
votes
14answers
33k views

How to enforce a “No Shoes” policy in my apartment?

I like to keep my apartment floor clean, as I enjoy walking around with bare feet after a shower without having to worry about them becoming dirty. As such, I don't like shoes beyond the doorway in my ...
83
votes
6answers
16k views

How to invite terminal ill / very sick friends to a party?

My grandparents will be celebrating 65 years of marriage in a few months. The anniversary is celebrated with a big party for the extended family and my grandparents' friends. Many of my ...
82
votes
13answers
30k views

How to miss my own stag/bachelor party?

Although I am not to marry soon, I will do so one day (reasons irrelevant for the question). The tradition among my friends is to organise stag/bachelor parties for soon-to-be married grooms. However, ...
82
votes
6answers
30k views

How to tell girlfriend that I don't like hypothetical and silly questions?

My girlfriend has a habit of thinking of scenarios that will never happen and then asking me a question about them usually about our relationship and then getting upset if I don't answer correctly. ...
81
votes
22answers
20k views

Is it rude to ask tourists where they are from?

“So… Where are you from?” It's normal small talk for us, most Indians; and only general whereabouts is expected. In my tours in India, I've met some foreigners along the way, usually western. I ...
81
votes
6answers
27k views

How do I politely decline a request for a contract marriage?

I am a recent graduate from a school in the United States that has a large number of international students. During my time there, I became friends with someone who I will refer to as "Suzy." Suzy and ...
80
votes
7answers
26k views

How can I tactfully tell my ex-superior that I don't owe him anything?

Context Last summer, I had a temporary job which lasted 3 months (not more, not less) as a research engineer. It was decided that if my work gave promising results, my superior would write an ...

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