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61
votes
15answers
25k views

Who should identify themself first on the phone: the caller or the person called?

This may be a generational thing. I was taught that the caller always identified himself first. The person answering says "hello", to establish that contact has been made, but is under no obligation ...
61
votes
18answers
14k views

In an online conversation, is it okay to use “guys” to address everyone? [closed]

In an online group chat, sometimes I say "See ya later, guys!". Of course, not all of them are "guys". Some are "gals". But for efficiency (read: lazy), I usually just say "guys". I wonder if this is ...
61
votes
15answers
17k views

What is the most respectful way to respond when invited into a prayer circle or other religious activity I don't believe in?

I live in a part of the United States where Christians are a strong majority. I frequently find myself in social situations that involve everyone being asked to join in prayer. I'm not religious, ...
60
votes
13answers
33k views

I gave a “gift” back to a friend after he asked for it back, and now he is trying to tax me for using it [closed]

I'm usually good at this sort of stuff but I don't know how to handle this situation. I'll start from the beginning. Backstory About 2-3 years ago, a good friend of mine, Henry, stole a grinder from ...
60
votes
7answers
23k views

How to ask for a wish from a woman?

For context, I am a twenty-four-year-old man. Recently I made the acquaintance of a woman who is twelve years older than myself. I was instantly struck by her extreme beauty and made efforts to form a ...
60
votes
17answers
24k views

Answer to: “Why aren't you with your boyfriend right now?”

I have a boyfriend, but still live with my parents and siblings. We've been dating for 8 months. It seems that every time I have a spare moment with my significant other (SO) not present, someone's ...
60
votes
5answers
15k views

Dealing with small crimes as a volunteer

Every now and then I volunteer for an association, organizing big role play events in my country (by big I mean several days with between several hundred people, so nothing at the national scale, but ...
60
votes
6answers
19k views

How do I tell a woman that her pants have a menstruation stain?

I was working in my work space today and a female coworker came to give me some information that I needed, then left. I'm male. Suddenly, when she was on her way back to her work space, I saw a ...
60
votes
8answers
18k views

How do you politely stand your ground against authority who repeatedly press a question that you declined to answer?

This questioner is positioned with authority and power in a professional context. Background An elderly relative's mental illnesses cause stuttering and awkward behavior that probably explains her ...
60
votes
4answers
10k views

Dismissing a stranger asking for help without being dismissive of their possible situation?

For some background into the layout of where this situation takes place, my apartment complex has it's own dog park. Within a few hundred feet of the dog park is a large and spacious public park, ...
60
votes
9answers
17k views

I dreamed you did so and so. Why did you do that? - How to react?

I had the following situation a couple of times: I sleep together with my (long time) girlfriend and she wakes up after a bad dream. In her dream I did something bad, like having sex with another ...
60
votes
7answers
22k views

How to ask my father in law to stop entering our house unannounced?

My father in law refuses to listen to our requests not to work in/on our house during weekdays. So, there's a bit of a backstory here. We bought a house 8 months ago, started renovating and during ...
59
votes
4answers
27k views

Alternative to “Get well soon” card for terminally ill?

My children would like to make a "get well soon" card for a family member. However, this person is terminally ill. What's an alternative message that conveys a similar sentiment?
59
votes
10answers
26k views

How do I indicate interest in going somewhere without inviting myself along?

Sometimes acquaintances or people that I would like to get to know better are setting up some sort of social gathering (bar, party, bowling, etc) and I am not explicitly invited. I know that if I ...
59
votes
6answers
21k views

How do I tell my teammate to stop replying to emails not addressed to him?

I'm a contractor who has recently joined a new project in the last month or so. I am ~8 hours ahead of the rest of the team and so often send emails outside of their working hours. After almost every ...
59
votes
13answers
15k views

How to approach my spouse about their weight gain?

My spouse is and has always been quite overweight. From the beginning it was no problem for me, I just don't mind. Yet, since we've been living together, my spouse somehow put on a lot of weight (...
59
votes
11answers
21k views

Should I monetarily reward the person who found my phone? [closed]

I just lost my mobile phone in the bus on my way to work (left it on the seat). I called from another phone, and someone answered me, telling me that indeed I had left my phone in the bus seat. We are ...
59
votes
5answers
12k views

How to befriend someone who doesn't like to talk?

Background: I’m a 22-year-old woman, my brother is a 25-year-old man. We were close growing up, but around high school we drifted apart. As of now I wouldn’t say there’s much friendship between us at ...
59
votes
15answers
34k views

How to stop people from touching me without having to freak out at them

I have a problem that I haven't been able to find an amicable solution to so far. I really don't like being touched, to the point where if someone is touching me unexpectedly I get confusion rising to ...
59
votes
11answers
15k views

How to inform my parents that I didn't like their less than desireable response to my good news?

Some background: I've been trying to get into a particular overseas university for about 2 years now (applied twice before, both rejected), but I found out that I got accepted this time after a lot ...
59
votes
10answers
17k views

How can I ask my husband about his work progress without him becoming defensive?

My husband and I work from home and share a work office. We have so for 5 years. We also have a new 7-week-old baby girl. Prior to her birth, we used to ask each other how work was going all the ...
59
votes
5answers
22k views

Which pitfalls should I watch out for when meeting my half-brother who hasn't been aware of my existence for 25 years?

I've been adopted at early age and have no recollection of my biological parents. My adoptive parents have told me at a young age that I was adopted. Because this fact became integrated into my life ...
59
votes
3answers
9k views

Addressing arrogant attitude from a coworker as a teamleader

Note This question takes place in the workplace, but I think (for reasons outlined below) that it is a better fit here than workplace.stackexchange. I'll happily close and move though if that seems ...
58
votes
15answers
19k views

How can I tell non-parents, “Wait and see until you have kids” without being cliché and obnoxious?

I am in my early 30's, married, and have multiple young children. I have a lot of co-workers in the same age bracket that doesn't have children but are on the path (newly married, or engaged, kids in ...
58
votes
17answers
24k views

How to shut someone up while being only moderately offensive when they incessantly criticize my house?

I know I am close to OCD about being averse to clutter. I put things away in their designated drawer or shelf, or throw (or give) them away if we are unlikely to use them again. That is, I am a ...
58
votes
10answers
20k views

How to politely interrupt recruiters who keep cold-calling me during my work hours?

About a year and a half ago I was waist deep in a job search. Having found a new job, I've since attempted to remove my resume from the internet. However, this hasn't stopped recruiters from finding ...
58
votes
6answers
14k views

Dealing with / extricating yourself from having to listen to a superior's xenophobic rants

This could very well be on the workplace, but I'm looking for a IPS solution that will help me deal with this since the usual workplace advice ("Look for a new job") won't help me in this case. I ...
58
votes
13answers
17k views

How do I tell my mother that I'm an atheist?

I live with my mother, my grandmother and my cousin, who is also an atheist. I've had a feeling for a couple of years that I should let my mother and my family know that I no longer believe in God, ...
58
votes
7answers
17k views

How to help a friend through a rough breakup when his actions are testing the limits of my patience?

One of my close friends, who is 25, has recently broken up with his girlfriend of 10-11 months. Naturally, he has turned to me and other people close to him for help and support. My friend is, by ...
57
votes
18answers
38k views

How to ask your girlfriend to pay her share of the rent when she moves in?

I am on the cusp of moving to a new part of the country (1000km from my current location) and start a new job. I have just signed a lease to an apartment (that I am able to pay by myself if need be) ...
57
votes
7answers
15k views

How to dismiss intrusive questions from a colleague with whom I don't work?

I have a colleague of mine at work. He's just my peer, not my boss or a higher rank, I do not report to him in any way. When I'm late for work (for different, sometimes very personal reasons), he ...
57
votes
5answers
13k views

How do I convince someone formalities between internet friends aren't necessary over a casual, informal text chat?

I have a friend of mine who absolutely refuses to begin conversations online by just asking me what they want, and instead insists on formalities that drive me crazy. We're online gaming friends, so ...
56
votes
14answers
24k views

How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons?

My girlfriend has a tendency of getting fixated on things she thinks true, when she won't listen to any reasoning and starts arguing with me. We are in our late twenties and we have been together for ...
56
votes
18answers
21k views

How can I convincingly communicate to a friend that I don't have a 'personal' mobile number?

I dislike telephone communication in general, compared to face-to-face interactions. I am not interested in communicating with anybody with mobile phone, for socialising or professional purposes. I ...
56
votes
13answers
18k views

How can I ask (or determine) if someone on the phone is human without offending them?

I recently saw a doctor about a minor medical problem. This is the first time I saw this doctor . After the appointment I asked my doctor a follow-up question via my insurance company's website. I got ...
56
votes
18answers
15k views

How do you deal with someone who's pushing you without explaining yourself?

There are certain people, especially family members you see from time to time or other close relatives, who simply don't know where to stop when offering you something. Usually it's about drinking ...
56
votes
8answers
17k views

How to politely receive someone when you don't know how to pronounce their name?

The situation is a one-on-one meeting with someone I have never met before. I don't know much about that guest, just their profession or connection to our organization, not even if they are from a ...
56
votes
6answers
17k views

Stepmother wants me to sign for life insurance without consulting a lawyer, how do I tell her that I will only do this after talking to one?

Background: I am a 20 years old male, living alone in Austria I have two stepsisters and a stepmother and my father is deceased I lived together with my stepmother for the last 10 years, but moved ...
56
votes
16answers
19k views

How to act when people bring a baby to work?

I am uncomfortable interacting with babies because I personally don't find them cute or interesting to interact with. I also am not good at faking positive interactions with babies, because I really ...
56
votes
11answers
13k views

How to respond to questions that feel like I have to defend the relationship I'm in

I'm 18, my girlfriend is 23. We've known each other for a few years, been together for a few weeks. Sometimes people (a mix of family and acquaintances) will ask questions like "Isn't that a too big ...
56
votes
8answers
14k views

How can I more clearly ask people to accommodate for my autism?

I've got autism. This isn't always clear to people*. Sometimes I need accommodations for a sensory issue to participate in a normal way. One time, there was a colleague with a strong aftershave, for ...
56
votes
5answers
10k views

How to get a blind person's attention in a crowded public place?

A while back, I was sitting in a crowded train. Across from me was a blind individual with a guide dog. I noticed the guide dog was trying to eat a chocolate covered waffle and wanted to warn the ...
56
votes
7answers
16k views

How do I tell my close-ones that I don't appreciate it when they say I look like a bird?

While I ultimately believe that my family and friends love me and would never do anything to intentionally hurt me, there is a certain culture among my immediate and extended family members and my ...
56
votes
11answers
13k views

Can I correct other people's children in front of them?

I am a childless female 20-something who occasionally comes in to contact with other people's children. This happens anywhere really, at work, stores, museums, movie theatres, just around the ...
56
votes
12answers
12k views

In non-violent communication, what to do when “I feel…” statements fail?

Non-Violent Communication seems to be a common piece of advice when it comes to conflict resolution. So far as I understand, NVC promotes the use of "I-statements": saying things like, I feel X ...
55
votes
16answers
53k views

How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop?

Some background about me and my girlfriend: We are in a long distance relationship for more than four years, so we only see each other on weekends (unfortunately not every weekend), but this is about ...
55
votes
14answers
10k views

How do you deal with colleagues and people around you constantly passing judgement on you for not knowing something?

I'm unique in a lot of ways. I don't like sports, I'm not in touch with the current affairs, I don't have any opinion on most things and I don't know about most of the things that people talk about. ...
55
votes
17answers
42k views

Dealing with people who always try to prove you wrong in a conversation [closed]

Consider the following scenario: You have an acquaintance, who would probably be really good at turncoat (the game in which one person has to rapidly switch sides again and again on a topic). ...
55
votes
8answers
20k views

How can I tell my wife that her fears and mistrust are hurting us?

I've been married now for few years (around 2 years), and everything is ok between my wife and me. Before me, she was married (for around 8 months) to a husband who cheated on her with her sister (who ...
55
votes
15answers
11k views

How can I find out what surprise my wife wants?

My wife never gives any hints about what she wants for her birthday (even after extensive direct questioning), but is sometimes disappointed that I didn’t get her the right thing. This time, it ...

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