I don't want to make them feel I'm dismissing their whole political stand, I've taken feminist postures many times myself because I take the side of justice. 

But now I feel used because it seems they only listen to me when I'm actively helping their cause under their terms, but if I offer this type of insight they shut me out.

I care because my community is in fact troubled with double standards affecting both women and men. I've found many hateful speech and attitudes being fed.
I'm not a fan of judging people, only ideas. Some ideas stand in the way for them to be listened to.

I don't believe there are "misogynists" and "misandrists".
But people acting on misogynistic and misandristic **ideas**, like:

> "Of course men are allowed to cry, but to be honest it kinda does make them less manly"

Or

> "That will be done by robots soon and we won't need men."

Or

> What is he good for if he can't (insert stereotypical manly skill)

I've found it very difficult to bring the topic, the word 'misandrism' is not even included in some dictionaries, apple's syntax checker even highlights it as if the word was misspelled or didn't exist.

In the past I did approach a couple of groups with this issue. Their answers were similar to:

> "Misandrism? What is that, does that even exist?"

And:

> "That's an anti-feminist made-up word"

Which is the same as being dismissed. I tried to explain what I knew about it and made the observation that it is actually the correct way to talk about the issue of some individuals who use feminism as a tool to express their hate towards men instead of focusing on equal rights.

But it seems most groups don't care because numbers help the cause and while they might be right they also don't see how the quality of ideas expressed can also make or break their statements.

While trying to remain cordial and constructive during these discussions, there are individuals with a tendency to throw popular terms at me like "mansplaining"?

Answering
> "Telling you a word exists because the phenomenon exists is not mansplaining"

didn't help.

**The group I'd be approaching now is not some online group, it is a group with direct influence on a person I care about deeply. So how, in your experience, have approached an otherwise open minded group of people that seem unwilling to hear anything about a very real thing they seem currently biased to reject?**