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Added more explanation

Late understanding

I believe I have mild aspergers. (I suspected that could be the case and I took the online test and according to the test result I most probably have) And I believe because of this I am having some troubles. (or it is because I am too dumb to understand, it does not matter)

Here is my problem: When I talk to people, sometimes people insult me or mock me or have fun of me but I do not understand they do that and keep laughing with them. I do not do this all the time, I understand the obvious ones but from time to time more sneaky ones gets unnoticed. After a while, sometimes while I was going over the talk mentally I realize I got insulted. And sometimes my wife tells me why you did not tell anything when they told you this, they made fun of you/insulted you etc.

The problem is, that conversation is long over and the topic is closed etc. But I just figured out it and I get pissed. Now, if I confront them, it is weird. I already laughed with them and told nothing when this happened. If somehow I try to explain the situation, they will see me as a retard or my wife provoking me against them. And even somehow I manage to get over this, then they will simply ignore it: "it is water under the bridge..." "Why so much trouble for a very little inconvenience? we will not do it again if you say so" etc.

I thought about changing the people. But it is not very plausible. Some of them are close family. And for the rest of the people, I seem to get into this kind of problems with too many people. I lose track of conversation at one point and miss deeper meanings, take things to the face value and when I understand the real meaning it is too late.

How can I handle this?

UPDATE :

1) There were some suggestions about the aspergers angle of the question. I merely put it to give a better reference point. I may be too thick to understand. The reason is not really that important. For all practical purposes, you may just ignore I said that and answer without taking it into consideration.

2) And there were some suggestions for cutting people of and/or ignoring the issues. I already ignore 95% of the negative things I noticed later. (100% of the unnoticed ones obviously) For cutting of people, I usually do not keep toxic people too close. So, while it is a helpful advice, it is not suitable to my current problem.

3) And there were some requests to explain the problem in more detail. Let me try to do that: I talk to someone, and something between the lines slips thru and I do not notice. It could be a negative thing like an insult or a positive thing like a compliment which I should have replied or something else.. The point is, I missed the opportunity to address the issue while it is happening and once it is over it is too late to do anything. But once I understand it and if I cannot ignore it, it starts bugging me. And I want to open that topic again to handle it properly. How can I do that without making a fool of myself/creating an awkward situation?

Example Dialog:
Me: I just bought this watch. Did you like it?
Friend: Yes, it is cool. But did not they have a male version of it?
Me: This is already male version. Woman watches have smaller faces.
Friend: Ah my bad, it is very nice (while everyone laughing)
and conversation continues...

Note1: This did not happen but I could not come up with an immediate example small enough to fit here. And this one covers the basic concept.
Note2: In my country (like many others), if you call a man "woman/female/girly etc." it is an insult.

So, when I think about this conversation later, I figure out he meant to call me a woman and people were laughing at me. Not laughing him because he could not tell a man watch from a woman watch.

And usually I let this go. But if this bugs me too much, how can I open this topic again? My main problem with re-opening this issue is, I already kept talking to them as if nothing happened after the fact. Now returning back to that will be weird. I can imagine a number of possible ways it goes awkward:

(Option 1)
Me: Hey, there is something bugging me since last night. You have called me a woman when I showed you my new watch. It made me sad.
Friend: No, I did not say anything like that. I just asked a question. You are making up accusitions.

(Option 2)
Me: Hey, there is something bugging me since last night. You have called me a woman when I showed you my new watch. It made me sad.
Friend: So you wasted your whole night just for a word I even don't remember saying? Then why you did not tell me right then?

(Option 3)
Me: Hey, there is something bugging me since last night. You have called me a woman when I showed you my new watch. It made me sad.
Friend: I am sure your wife is provoking you. You were cool with that joke yesterday.

(Option 4)
Me: Hey, there is something bugging me since last night. You have called me a woman when I showed you my new watch. It made me sad.
Friend: Ok, I am sorry. Are you happy now?

So, all the ways I can think of to approach this fails miserably. Is there any way to make this not so weird?

(Sorry, this became a very long post but some explanation was requested.)