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First off, BE NICE and don't go pointing fingers/venting at people that closed your question like this. Second, please stick to community guidelines if you want to update people: https://interpersonal.meta.stackexchange.com/a/224/1599. What you did is an answer and thus not part of the question.
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How do I confront my mother after she deceived me into giving her a substantial amount of money?

When my mother learned that I was giving my Gramma $35,000 so that she could move to Florida and put the money down on a house, she informed me that my brother had been arrested a year ago, lost his job, and needed an attorney because he was facing 120 years in prison.

She said they had not told me because they didn't want to worry me. I immediately handed over the $35,000 so that she could get him an attorney.

When the case finally went to trial, none of the money had been spent on my brother. He only had the free under-prepared public defender who had just been assigned to his case, four days prior to the trial. Without a proper defense and without calling a single witness, he was found guilty and sentenced to 60 years in prison.

I was not informed of the trial date. I was never given a chance to testify on his behalf.

My grandmother made me promise not to bring this up with my mother while she was alive because then my mother wouldn't let me talk to her. Now my grandmother has passed and I need to have the "goodbye" discussion with my mother. I have no idea how to even approach this, since I get so extremely upset just thinking about it. I don't know what she did with the money, but as ironic as this is, she bought a rental property in Florida a couple years later.

One important point is that she was not close to her mother. She's the type of person who blames everything on everyone else. Our relationship has always been one where I desperately sought her love, support, and approval, which has always ended in disaster.

Note: We live on opposite sides of the country and so I can not have this discussion face to face.

The money is lost. I do not want it back. No, I'm not wealthy, by any stretch of the imagination.

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