69
votes
Accepted
Is a verbal response that directly expresses anger always the wrong choice?
Always? No. There are times and places for these kinds of reactions.
Do I recommend such responses? Not often. But, as I said, there is a time and place where you may need to resort to these ...
- 2,619
48
votes
How should someone apologize when both parties were wrong?
How should someone apologize when both parties were wrong?
Simply put, by apologizing for the wrong that you did. A sincere apology does not come with strings attached, and isn't a chance to sling ...
- 13.6k
24
votes
Accepted
Girlfriend gets extremely angry over small issues, how can I help her?
First my humble opinion
I will be honest, your relationship is extremely close to an abusive relationship, even without violence.
As you said she is prone to anger over the smallest of details, wich ...
- 4,707
21
votes
Is a verbal response that directly expresses anger always the wrong choice?
No, but make sure you think before you speak.
I think a huge factor in the appropriateness and effectiveness of such a response comes from how and when you express it. Context is key, and should shape ...
- 9,005
18
votes
Accepted
Managing a bad temper in close relationships
One strategy for coping with these kinds of issues is meta-talk. Much like SE sites each have an associated meta site, take a moment when you and the other person are both calm, and talk about how ...
- 2,766
17
votes
Girlfriend gets extremely angry over small issues, how can I help her?
I had a similar situation with a girlfriend, in my 20's. For the record, we eventually broke up! What worked for me (with one girl so I don't know if it would generalize) is walking out.
I just said, ...
- 5,932
14
votes
How can I be more convincing when it comes to my words?
People who ignore your complaints and uses you as butt of all jokes all are not worthy of being your friends.
I would advise you find better friends.
Even if you have a real problem (anger issues), ...
- 1,380
14
votes
Accepted
How to decline attending a funeral
Personally, I think that this is a sign of a much larger problem in your life that should be dealt with. I have a relative who decided that, for him/her to heal, he/she needed to cut the family out ...
- 32.2k
13
votes
How do I effectively fix a situation in which I personally insulted a friend out of anger?
I think the focus of your question on the pranking behavior of your friend group is a huge red flag that you aren't prepared to address this situation.
Luke probably doesn't want to speak to you ...
- 1,854
13
votes
Wife wants me to be happy (or act happy) all the time
I've seen simular situations. Husband is uncommunicative, wife asks "What's wrong?", husband answers "Nothing's wrong" and then the wife starts with "There must be something wrong. You're acting ...
- 6,037
13
votes
Accepted
My girlfriend occasionally blocks me on social media
It looks like you already have had a conversation with her about this, and it didn't help. If she continues to behave in a way that hurts you after telling her how it hurts you, you really should ...
- 5,410
12
votes
I slapped my 8 year old cousin. What was a better way to handle the situation?
Background: I have a 9 year old brother that is not spoiled, but has had a difficult background (foster care). His behavior has improved over the years, thanks to my mom's and family's unending ...
- 3,555
11
votes
How can I be more convincing when it comes to my words?
You say that you have a problem with anger management. That's an intrapersonal problem. You also say that your friends, aware of that, are picking on you. So the question is: is there an interpersonal ...
- 21.5k
10
votes
How should someone apologize when both parties were wrong?
You are responsible for your part of being wrong - if you apologize and make it contingent upon the other person to also apologize then it is not an apology as much as a coercion to apologize. If you ...
- 2,123
9
votes
Trying to limit toxic relationship with family but keep getting dragged back in
If you look at a lot of my responses on IPS, one thing I repeat ad infinitum is this: it is extremely difficult to change other people's behavior. It is much easier to change your response to their ...
- 32.2k
8
votes
Accepted
How do I effectively fix a situation in which I personally insulted a friend out of anger?
You ask for a privilege, it is granted, you immediately abuse it, and then get upset for losing it again? You're in dire need of some introspection, friend.
The problem with constantly issuing ...
- 17.1k
8
votes
How can I be more convincing when it comes to my words?
The situation you have described is not a problem of being insufficiently convincing. You have three real problems:
You get angry too easily.
You don't behave well when you get angry.
You have ...
- 241
8
votes
Accepted
How to be a good backseat driver
There is no such thing as a good back-seat driver
I don't have a cite-able source for this, but one point I remember from my driving school lessons was that nearly everyone suffers from road rage. ...
- 196
7
votes
Is a verbal response that directly expresses anger always the wrong choice?
You rarely see absolutes in social settings. Thus, it's easy to say that "expressing anger is the wrong decision" is an incorrect statement. I think the other answers have good reasons why, but I ...
- 4,282
7
votes
How do I help my wife control her irritablness and anger so she doesn't induce me to a rage?
I went through something somewhat similar when I was married. My partner would get upset or stressed and would resort to shouting and berating the people who were closest to them. Their parents, ...
- 54.6k
7
votes
Accepted
How to tell my mother the way she acts when upset or tired is unacceptable
You cannot confront her the moment she lashes out, because then she's allready too exhausted to think about her behavior.
Inasead, talk to her in a calm moment like after a meal or when you are ...
- 6,037
6
votes
How do I effectively fix a situation in which I personally insulted a friend out of anger?
You've presented your apology. One of many that have been issued when you've offended or hurt your friends. Someone who is hurt will see your persistence as self serving.
Why self serving?
I can ...
- 1,970
6
votes
How to be a good backseat driver
I'm not sure anyone ever appreciates being told how to drive, so I'm not sure this can be done in an effective way. This is especially true of drivers--no one thinks he or she is a bad driver.
...
- 191
6
votes
How could I have better handled this interaction with a hired company to complete a project?
I've had the same trouble with work being delayed and contractors not communicating, although nothing as bad as what you describe. I'm in the United States so my comments may not apply to Canada.
In ...
- 7,187
6
votes
How to decline attending a funeral
(My answer is quite along the line of @baldPrussian's answer, consider this an addendum)
Stop arguing, and start saying
Is a sentence I use a lot. I work a lot with group and team dynamics at work, ...
- 1,614
6
votes
How to deal with sibling who has had a grudge against me for 6+ months over a minor issue?
Try to see where you might be wrong
It sounds like you've got some pretty common older sibling traits.
Check here for more details but the key one is:
Serious/solitary – Babies aren’t much fun for ...
- 1,562
5
votes
Girlfriend gets extremely angry over small issues, how can I help her?
This needs to be her issue, not yours. As you said, she is considering professional help to understand her anger, and this is probably the best course of action. At some later time counseling as a ...
- 1,459
5
votes
Managing a bad temper in close relationships
It is a thing which your mind can't control simply.
Also it is common for people in your age group(I know your age coz we celebrated your birthday).
But things you should care is once you said a word ...
- 1,634
5
votes
Accepted
Aggressive, cursing, unpredictable neighbor causing fear in community
You need to figure out whether there's a real chance that your new neighbor might hurt someone. If yes, take precautions, and call the police to report all breaches of the peace.
If you determine ...
- 2,896
4
votes
Managing a bad temper in close relationships
“This too shall pass”
I for one have this mantra that I remind myself when things are about to go sideways.
Once you internalize this concept, this rare attitude towards life, your thoughts and ...
- 10.2k
Only top scored, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible