208 votes

How can I politely get the attention of a coworker who is listening to music?

Before answering, there are a few things I think are important to address. She then told me it hurt when I pulled her earphone When you pull your own earphone, you might not be hurt, but the person ...
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  • 4,707
162 votes

How can I politely get the attention of a coworker who is listening to music?

I pulled her earphones out of her ear and she looked at me really angrily for doing that Pulling someone's headphones out is a pretty horrible thing to do, I hope you apologized to her afterwards. ...
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  • 2,601
161 votes
Accepted

How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard?

Make the conversation about experience . . . and baby steps. I'm a regular runner. I compete at a DIII school, and I've been running for . . . maybe eight years now. I've been both the overeager ...
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  • 9,025
131 votes

How can I ask my girlfriend to be my gym buddy without hurting her feelings?

Make it about you and not about her. In other words, tell her that you want to go to the gym more often but have trouble getting the motivation, and it would really help you get there and work out if ...
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  • 7,217
102 votes
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How can I politely get the attention of a coworker who is listening to music?

What I've found works best in my own workplace is to either tap on the persons desk, or wave off to the side. Tapping on a desk/table usually works best because the person in question can feel the ...
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  • 22.6k
82 votes

How to deal with someone who ignores your lack of knowledge?

For those of us who work in IT, this is a pretty common curse. I know mainframe operators who get asked to look at PCs, I see IT security guys who get asked about databases, and I know of Desktop ...
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  • 32.3k
74 votes

How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard?

The website for that hike has a great page on the required fitness: Is the GR20 for you? The minimum capability is: You should be able to walk 3h00 steeply uphill, followed by a 3h00 descent on ...
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  • 3,321
69 votes

How do I announce my presence to someone who is not aware of it without frightening them?

If you have a wall near enough, you can always knock on it. It also works with other stuff, like a table. I never tried with floors, but maybe it also works. What I wrote is based on my own ...
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  • 3,115
64 votes
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How to approach a friend about his girlfriend asking to sleep with me?

even if my girlfriend was cool with that, I wasn't, because Alice is the girlfriend of a close friend, and I have the feeling that it isn't a right thing to do regarding Bob. I believe that here lies ...
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  • 1,469
62 votes
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How can I more clearly ask people to accommodate for my autism?

From a communication point of view, your main problem is excusing yourself and giving an challenge-able explanation, while at the same time acknowledging that other solutions exist. As a person with ...
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61 votes

How can I tell my mom to not cause herself so much stress when I'm visiting?

I wonder if you and I have the same mother and are sister/brother, but never mind... :) For decades, my Mom has been exactly the same. Same words, same ideas, same problems, same questions, as the ...
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  • 21.5k
61 votes

How to respond to an unfalsifiable accusation?

The best defense is typically to display an openness for resolving potential issues where possible. I would suggest directing the user to the Reddit rules on the matter and stating that if they ...
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  • 2,036
60 votes
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How to deal with girlfriend cancelling weekends plan

I assume you are two adults, and that you're together because you are at least fond of each other. Close relationships inherently come with a lot of conflicts, such as this. How you handle ...
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52 votes

How to deal with someone who ignores your lack of knowledge?

Sometimes I have the same problem. I am a biologist. People happen to ask me all sort of things about health (but I've never worked on humans) or their plants (but I'm a zoologist). Lots of times I ...
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  • 9,711
52 votes

How to explain to coworkers that being vegan does not mean I know everything about it?

I'm not sure that you can get them to stop laughing. What you might be able to do is to shift the meaning of the laughter. Rather than say, "Well, actually, not all wines are vegan", consider the ...
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  • 1,692
48 votes

How can I ask my girlfriend to be my gym buddy without hurting her feelings?

Instead of just going to the gym, try to find a physical activity you both will enjoy doing together. Rock climbing is a great activity to get in shape, lose weight, and build confidence. If there ...
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48 votes
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How can I have a conversation with my fiancé about a subject he doesn't want to talk about?

I have depression and anxiety. I had it for years and it took me a very long time for me to finally be able to reach out and see a therapist for help. First of all, you need to know that only one ...
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  • 17.2k
45 votes

How to communicate to coworkers that I am not comfortable with celebratory hugs

You don't need to explain it. Explanation about boundaries can backfire and lead to people trying to maneuver around them. Say something simple clear and definitive like "I don't do hugs" and offer ...
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  • 8,404
44 votes
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How to respond to an unfalsifiable accusation?

You say: Note that there aren't any ads on my blog site and the content is all free. I was also surprised at how well the post performed, most of my other posts didn't do quite so well [...]. I ...
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  • 13.6k
41 votes
Accepted

How do I politely tell a stranger to stop making annoying noises I can't name?

I can empathize with this question, so please don't let the answer lead you to believe I'm insensitive to your plight. For some uninvestigated reason, I cannot tune people out (I have never been able ...
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39 votes

How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop?

I might have been in a similar situation. I have a health issue that bothers me so I won't go into further detail about it. The reason I mention it is because some times my girlfriend used it to ...
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39 votes

How can I politely get the attention of a coworker who is listening to music?

All of the devs in my office wear earphones when working and is usually a clear indicator that we're focused on something. We used to have an issue with the other departments coming to our area and ...
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  • 511
39 votes
Accepted

How to explain to coworkers that being vegan does not mean I know everything about it?

Fellow vegan, so I know what this is like. I often get colleagues offer foodstuffs that are non-vegan (such as cakes containing milk, egg etc) and confusing veganism with vegetarianism (to the point ...
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37 votes

How to communicate to coworkers that I am not comfortable with celebratory hugs

You should talk to Samuel and calmly explain how you feel about this issue. Samuel, I need to talk to you about the hug circles at our weekly meetings. I appreciate the celebration of our ...
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  • 9,026
37 votes

How can I let my girlfriend know that her insults are hurting my feelings and ask her to stop?

To challenge your 'I don't want to break up with her': How do you feel when you are leaving home to spend the weekend with her, do you feel excited to see her or do you feel a bit of anxiety? During ...
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  • 801
35 votes

How to tell an overweight person that the hike will be too hard?

Whether they get offended or not is not completely under your control. While it's not "fat shaming" to say that she's overweight, you don't need to mention it directly - be polite about it, and try ...
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  • 17.1k
35 votes

How can I politely get the attention of a coworker who is listening to music?

Although there are lots of good suggestions on how to get someone's attention without being too rude, there's no mention about when it's appropriate to do so. Basically, what you're suggesting is ...
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  • 467

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