207

Before answering, there are a few things I think are important to address. She then told me it hurt when I pulled her earphone When you pull your own earphone, you might not be hurt, but the person from whom you pulled them this time was not you, but her. You might not have realised how strong you pulled them, maybe she pulls them in a different way, ...


162

Make the conversation about experience . . . and baby steps. I'm a regular runner. I compete at a DIII school, and I've been running for . . . maybe eight years now. I've been both the overeager person and the person trying to hold back someone who's overeager. It's kind of a difficult situation for everyone, sometimes exacerbated if the other runner is ...


161

I pulled her earphones out of her ear and she looked at me really angrily for doing that Pulling someone's headphones out is a pretty horrible thing to do, I hope you apologized to her afterwards. Don't do that again. she said it's fine but she doesn't like being touched (which is weird because when we go out for drinks after work her boyfriend is always ...


132

Make it about you and not about her. In other words, tell her that you want to go to the gym more often but have trouble getting the motivation, and it would really help you get there and work out if she would be your buddy and go with you. That should remove a lot of her anxiety and have her feeling good about helping you out. I've found that it is much ...


103

What I've found works best in my own workplace is to either tap on the persons desk, or wave off to the side. Tapping on a desk/table usually works best because the person in question can feel the vibration, which is more subtle and less of a disturbance than having a headphone pulled out or physically touched. If tapping on a surface is unavailable though,...


88

I don't think it hurts to let them know why you booked with someone else. We'd have booked with you but we really couldn't get hold of you. I'm certainly happy for you to take it on next year if you are going to be more contactable again. Something like that allows for an interpretation that their uncontactability was an aberration, perhaps down to ...


83

For those of us who work in IT, this is a pretty common curse. I know mainframe operators who get asked to look at PCs, I see IT security guys who get asked about databases, and I know of Desktop Support folks who get asked all kinds of web programming questions. Keep in mind the knowledge level of those folks asking you - they know next to nothing, so in ...


72

The website for that hike has a great page on the required fitness: Is the GR20 for you? The minimum capability is: You should be able to walk 3h00 steeply uphill, followed by a 3h00 descent on rocky ground, whilst carrying a rucksack of around 10+ kilos. You need to be at ease scrambling, walking on scree and large blocks. Below are some relevant UK ...


69

If you have a wall near enough, you can always knock on it. It also works with other stuff, like a table. I never tried with floors, but maybe it also works. What I wrote is based on my own experience, and for me knocking on the wall or on some nearby furniture works better than saying something or making an *ahem * noise behind the person. For example, I ...


64

even if my girlfriend was cool with that, I wasn't, because Alice is the girlfriend of a close friend, and I have the feeling that it isn't a right thing to do regarding Bob. I believe that here lies the problem, as you're putting your conception of what a "right thing" is in the equation, rather than let Alice and Bob discuss it between themselves. Would ...


62

From a communication point of view, your main problem is excusing yourself and giving an challenge-able explanation, while at the same time acknowledging that other solutions exist. As a person with High-functioning autism, I noticed a lot of(if not all) people have some type of behaviour that's similar or identical Your cinema example is a good way to ...


61

I wonder if you and I have the same mother and are sister/brother, but never mind... :) For decades, my Mom has been exactly the same. Same words, same ideas, same problems, same questions, as the ones you just mentioned to us. And I've tried, just like you. Almost everything, until I reached the point of "nothing else to say". Mom's always right :) From "...


61

The best defense is typically to display an openness for resolving potential issues where possible. I would suggest directing the user to the Reddit rules on the matter and stating that if they believe that any form of vote manipulation has taken place they should report your post - Just as they should with any other post. This would show to others that it'...


60

I assume you are two adults, and that you're together because you are at least fond of each other. Close relationships inherently come with a lot of conflicts, such as this. How you handle conflict either brings you closer together or drives you apart. Each conflict can do this. Keeping something bottled up for the sake of peace usually leads to ...


52

Sometimes I have the same problem. I am a biologist. People happen to ask me all sort of things about health (but I've never worked on humans) or their plants (but I'm a zoologist). Lots of times I have no clue about the death of their geranium. So I came up with this solution: when people ask me what I do for a living, I tell them that I study a specific ...


51

I'm not sure that you can get them to stop laughing. What you might be able to do is to shift the meaning of the laughter. Rather than say, "Well, actually, not all wines are vegan", consider the following conversation: Actually, even things made entirely from plants can be non-vegan if they are prepared with animal products. And wine is on the list ...


46

Instead of just going to the gym, try to find a physical activity you both will enjoy doing together. Rock climbing is a great activity to get in shape, lose weight, and build confidence. If there is an indoor climbing gym in your area, I suggest you two go and check it out. Or try to join an adult softball, kickball, soccer, etc. league. This way, you'...


45

You don't need to explain it. Explanation about boundaries can backfire and lead to people trying to maneuver around them. Say something simple clear and definitive like "I don't do hugs" and offer a celebratory gesture you are comfortable with, high fives being an obvious choice. Since this has been ongoing you're going to need to find a way roll ...


45

A possible gushing response: Him: "Sorry it looks like I am ignoring you. I have been very busy and answering your questions isn't a small amount of time." You: "Professor (Name), I can't express how much I appreciate the time and effort that you put into answering my questions. You've been doing me a huge favor and helping in my studies more than I can ...


44

You say: Note that there aren't any ads on my blog site and the content is all free. I was also surprised at how well the post performed, most of my other posts didn't do quite so well [...]. I would respond with a variation on this! It's honest, and you can point to your past posting history to show that 1) at least you weren't doing it before, and 2) ...


40

I can empathize with this question, so please don't let the answer lead you to believe I'm insensitive to your plight. For some uninvestigated reason, I cannot tune people out (I have never been able to. I remember complaining of "noise pollution" when I was very young.) TV, music, etc., yes. But there is something hardwired in me that makes it impossible ...


40

I might have been in a similar situation. I have a health issue that bothers me so I won't go into further detail about it. The reason I mention it is because some times my girlfriend used it to hurt me even though I had asked her to stop it. The last time she did it I said "you know what?, I don't want anything with you anymore". Long story short, she ...


40

Fellow vegan, so I know what this is like. I often get colleagues offer foodstuffs that are non-vegan (such as cakes containing milk, egg etc) and confusing veganism with vegetarianism (to the point people seem to be on the verge of arguing the incorrect definitions). Firstly, you need to stop worrying if people believe you or not, there will always be ...


39

All of the devs in my office wear earphones when working and is usually a clear indicator that we're focused on something. We used to have an issue with the other departments coming to our area and breaking our concentration when we were in the middle of something, and we fixed that by establishing an office-wide rule to PM us instead. This is what the devs ...


37

Whether they get offended or not is not completely under your control. While it's not "fat shaming" to say that she's overweight, you don't need to mention it directly - be polite about it, and try your best to be diplomatic, however some people may still react poorly - such is life. This person may suffer some injuries, or generally have a bad time if she ...


36

You should talk to Samuel and calmly explain how you feel about this issue. Samuel, I need to talk to you about the hug circles at our weekly meetings. I appreciate the celebration of our accomplishments, but I am uncomfortable with hugs. I would much rather give high fives or handshakes. The key is open and honest communication. You don't have to ...


36

To challenge your 'I don't want to break up with her': How do you feel when you are leaving home to spend the weekend with her, do you feel excited to see her or do you feel a bit of anxiety? During the week when you are home by yourself, do you feel like you are kind of waiting for the weekend to be with her again, even if you two don't have anything ...


35

Although there are lots of good suggestions on how to get someone's attention without being too rude, there's no mention about when it's appropriate to do so. Basically, what you're suggesting is that your work is more important than whatever they're doing. Headphones can often be a sign of 'please don't bother me' if the person doesn't wear them all the ...


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