112
votes
How to set personal hygiene standards with my boyfriend?
I really like your question, mostly because it somewhat relates to our situation (me and my girlfriend, now wife).
I was similar to your boyfriend. I was clean, but simple. Too simple. On very rare ...
- 1,324
75
votes
Accepted
How do I tell someone that something is not my responsibility anymore?
This is the problem with favours and recommendations that come through family or friends - it mixes business with friendship/family and people have unrealistic expectations. Plus in this case the link ...
- 27k
73
votes
How can I politely ask my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner, without ruining the night out?
Why are you trying to change her habits? You are on a date, and neither side has any standing to comment or change another persons behaviour.
You also have no obligation to continue the date if her ...
- 7,130
70
votes
Accepted
How can I tell my boyfriend "I told you so" without sounding too full of myself?
I will get at the actual question below, but first let me start with a frame challenge:
You are mad at the wrong person!
You really want this to be about Lilly, but in reality the problem here is ...
- 2,213
63
votes
How can I politely ask my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner, without ruining the night out?
Texting during a date is rude and disrespectful most of the time. There can be plenty of variation between the level of texting before it becomes rude (some prefer none and some don't mind responding ...
- 7,125
60
votes
How can I tell my boyfriend "I told you so" without sounding too full of myself?
Short answer: you can't. There is no non-smug way to say the words "I told you so".
If your boyfriend is smart, he already knows. If you want to be part of the solution, you need to avoid arguing ...
- 27k
55
votes
Dealing with a person who continuously needs help
You shouldn't reward laziness. To learn, they need to debug code they've written.
They're used to you saying yes and they rely on that. If they need help that's fine, but you need to set some ...
- 9,799
54
votes
Accepted
Dealing with a person who continuously needs help
You are in the vicinity of a Help Vampire. The post explains the symptoms much better than me, though I suspect you already know them all too well already.
If you follow the links you will find that ...
- 2,016
54
votes
How can I ask my colleague to stop exploiting my name on projects I am not working on?
The most important thing here is to try and not accuse the coworker of a misdeed (even though what they are doing is a little fraud-y). If possible imply that the use of your name was an honest ...
- 3,071
51
votes
How to explain to coworkers that being vegan does not mean I know everything about it?
I'm not sure that you can get them to stop laughing. What you might be able to do is to shift the meaning of the laughter. Rather than say, "Well, actually, not all wines are vegan", consider the ...
- 1,662
50
votes
How to handle unwanted touching from my partner's friend during conversations?
Regardless of whether it was sexual or not, no one should be invading your personal space if you don't want them to.
This isn't normal regardless of the situation. You have several approaches:
Your ...
- 9,799
48
votes
Accepted
How do I get someone to call me by the name I prefer?
I think you have the right to be more forward about it. The dialogue you had could have gone a different way:
Them: Come again?
Me: Fred.
Them: (puzzled face)...
Me: Fred.
Them: Were you baptized as ...
47
votes
How to set personal hygiene standards with my boyfriend?
Include him in these activities. Take initiative. Ask him to go brush teeth together. And then both brush teeth in the same room.
About clothing, ask him wheter he wants fresh clothing that fits him ...
- 2,117
45
votes
How to politely answer someone who resists your request to escalate against him/her?
I have tried the following things, each with some success.
Refuse to get off the phone or answer "is there anything further I can help you with today" until I am transferred to a supervisor
Hang up ...
- 44.9k
42
votes
Accepted
How to handle unwanted touching from my partner's friend during conversations?
Easier said than done because I feel that if I do this I will make it a bigger deal than it was
It's your body, which makes it as big a deal as it is to you. If it concerns you enough to raise the ...
- 2,824
40
votes
Accepted
How to respond to "When are you getting married"?
I come from The Netherlands. Let me assure you that joking about relationships/weddings is very common here as well, since (at least in my area) people are usually married by their mid-twenties. Just ...
- 34k
39
votes
How do I get someone to call me by the name I prefer?
I think this could be dealt with by simply reiterating the name you chose to go by, via subtly - but firmly - correcting them every time they mention your full name, without necessarily sounding rude. ...
- 2,147
38
votes
Accepted
How to explain to coworkers that being vegan does not mean I know everything about it?
Fellow vegan, so I know what this is like.
I often get colleagues offer foodstuffs that are non-vegan (such as cakes containing milk, egg etc) and confusing veganism with vegetarianism (to the point ...
33
votes
Accepted
How to politely approach my neighbours about their excessively screaming child?
This is a very tough one, I feel sorry for you, really...
As you can't tell people how to raise and take care of their kids, you're walking on eggs. Doing so would only lead into a dead-end and a no-...
- 22.3k
31
votes
How do I stress that having children is not an option when picking a date?
Some reports claim that as many as a third of millennials do not want children. How resolute they are, and whether or not they will change their stance as they get older is anyone's guess. But the ...
- 27k
31
votes
Accepted
How do I stress that having children is not an option when picking a date?
My partner has made it clear that she never wants to have children (I do) and I didn't know until about 12-18 months into the relationship how strongly she felt about this. However this didn't cause ...
- 463
27
votes
How do I stress that having children is not an option when picking a date?
Instead of stating it like an ultimatum:
I will never have kids.
How about asking what the other side's expectations are?
What do you think about kids? Do you expect you'll have one/some after ...
- 533
24
votes
Dealing with a person who continuously needs help
You are being used and should stop what you are currently doing - start with a "No"
You are being used and you should try to stick to a simple "No". The best way is probably to go ...
- 1,249
21
votes
How can I politely ask my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner, without ruining the night out?
How can I tell my date to not use her phone unnecessarily during dinner?
I have news for you. You don't get to control your date's behaviour. In general you don't get to control someone's behaviour ...
- 948
21
votes
How to tell my usual plumber their service isn’t needed any more?
I think it is as simple as:
I have already booked service with another plumber.
This a busy plumber. They don't want any fluff.
- 1,565
20
votes
Accepted
How to tell my usual plumber their service isn’t needed any more?
You tagged this question assertiveness. I want to go a bit further than the other commenters: the main thing for you to learn in this situation is how to become comfortable telling a service provider ...
- 456
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