440
votes
How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends?
I don't think you can.
I'll lay out why I think this is the case:
The relationship you describe with Katie sounds exactly like any new romance except for the fact that you are both currently married ...
- 16.3k
259
votes
How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends?
From everything you've written here, it seems perfectly reasonable that your wife would be feeling jealous. Your wife is jealous because everything you are doing looks like cheating, regardless of how ...
- 2,856
237
votes
Accepted
How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends?
Close friendships are wonderful. Right now, you are putting a lot of time and energy into your friendship with Katie, and you are both enjoying the benefits of that effort. A proportionate investment ...
- 3,684
182
votes
Accepted
How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?
My goal is to win these arguments if they occur or to stop them from happening entirely. Everything but losing the argument, basically. How can I do that?
You need to modify your definition of "...
- 3,077
129
votes
How can women avoid talking during dates while keeping men at ease?
So, I also saw that research once in a training, and I think that one of the reasons why your strategy is not working might be related to a misinterpretation of
...specifically that men do not ...
- 1,723
124
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How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends?
By having a long, hard talk with Katie about what your relationship is.
It's going to suck, believe me. But you seem totally oblivious to the fact that you're having a full-blown emotional affair. If ...
- 1,502
121
votes
How can women avoid talking during dates while keeping men at ease?
I think that the major reason your strategy isn't producing the results you want is because you've overinterpreted a very precise piece of information, and have based your entire approach around that ...
- 16.3k
102
votes
Accepted
Dealing with somebody who's ignoring my very existence
I hesitate to suggest shunning her like the other answers suggest. It seems like it might work, but it also seems like it could be traumatic for her.
A little about autism
I think it's worth knowing a ...
- 2,196
93
votes
Accepted
Boyfriend always responds "I didn't mean to" when he gets feedback
"I didn't mean to" is a one-fits-all, automatic answer, akin to the "sorry" he was saying before. It's a sort of automatic protection. For what you tell, it looks like he's a very ...
- 9,773
82
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Rebuffing a former friend's (now a convicted criminal) attempts to restore friendship
Keep in mind that doing this is a step that both of you cannot go back from. Suppose 10 or 20 years down the road he wants to reach out to you. Will you still hold that against him? If not, then ...
- 32.4k
73
votes
How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?
You seem to be an apple that didn't fall far from the tree. When there are two people in an argument who prefer "anything but losing the argument" this is what is going to happen. People are going to ...
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64
votes
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How do I tell a potential partner about my autism?
Background to my response
I'll start by giving some context from my own experience. I am a woman who has been in a relationship with a man who has Asperger's for over a year and a half four and a ...
- 3,260
63
votes
How do you tell a Facebook friend that they might be on the autism spectrum?
You don't
As someone that has been in a similar situation, I can give you a bit of insight in how this would be received by your friend. Simply put, you are not in a position to diagnose (or meddle ...
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63
votes
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How can I more clearly ask people to accommodate for my autism?
From a communication point of view, your main problem is excusing yourself and giving an challenge-able explanation, while at the same time acknowledging that other solutions exist.
As a person with ...
- 3,292
61
votes
Accepted
How do I tactfully ask a flight attendant what's going on if I know my plane has a problem?
Just because you are someone who will take that information calmly doesn't mean everyone is. To the flight attendants, you could well freak out about the possibility of something terribly wrong on the ...
- 6,938
58
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Dealing with somebody who's ignoring my very existence
I am not talking to her at parties, or approaching her. But she still seems intent on ruining the party for me, by ruining the conversations I am having, hijacking them and then pretending I don't ...
- 1,665
54
votes
Accepted
Active listening in casual conversation: why does it not work?
I used to have a colleague that was on the spectrum as well, and when I had just met him, he also used questions like these. From my (non-spectrum) perspective, a question like
Why do you say that?...
- 1,508
51
votes
Is it socially acceptable to dismiss a compliment?
Rude would be arguing with the compliment. An honest gracious response is, generally, not rude.
Humility is also important, which you seem to have a good deal of. That's a good thing as well.
I ...
- 32.4k
51
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How do I tactfully ask a flight attendant what's going on if I know my plane has a problem?
There's a good time to be quiet.
This is one of those. More or less, panicking people is a terrible idea. You're in a tin can hurtling through the sky on jet fuel and engineering.
Your pilot is a ...
- 1,036
48
votes
Accepted
How can women avoid talking during dates while keeping men at ease?
It's been a while since I've dated, but I've been married for quite a while. So maybe I might have some insight here.
When I'm on a date with my wife, I want to be her focus - and she wants to be ...
- 32.4k
47
votes
Accepted
How do I tell my close-ones that I don't appreciate it when they say I look like a bird?
I would start out by telling people you don't think the joke is funny any time they make the joke.
So for example, some one makes one of these bird jokes you could sigh and say:
That joke is so ...
- 7,674
46
votes
Accepted
How to open up to someone about loving them, when you don't know if they love you back?
Don't start with "I love you." Don't even start with "I am falling in love with you." That is leaping too far "down the track" and could startle or scare her. Even if she ...
- 44.5k
45
votes
How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends?
I know this is more of an anti-answer, but I think it's an important Interpersonal Skill to identify the difference between knowledge and feeling.
How can you convince her? You can't.
Here's why:
...
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44
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How to convince my wife that my best friend and I are just friends?
To answer the question: you can't.
The other answers go into good detail on why you can't and I agree with them, so I won't repeat everything they said here (for more detail see the points made by ...
- 595
41
votes
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How to accept an apology, without implying that there was no problem?
Depending on how comfortable you feel saying it, you could simply say:
"Thank you, don't worry about it"
And then smile politely.
You're not saying something untrue as it was an accident and I ...
- 6,938
41
votes
Active listening in casual conversation: why does it not work?
For most people, active listening techniques are going overboard in casual conversation
For most people, casual conversation is casual. Having one person seem to take it too seriously almost forces ...
- 481
39
votes
How to encourage a child with autism to practice reading?
Not to stray too far into parenting but I had a similar problem with learning reading comprehension at a young age. My primary motive for not reading much was the same too: I was uninterested in what ...
- 10.7k
38
votes
Accepted
How can I talk to my Partner about what she would rather do?
The problem isn't her dropping hints, it's her interpreting your statements as hints.
I bet you think that's preposterous. You only say just what you mean, right? Well, maybe. Let's take a look at ...
- 5,891
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