343

You don't. You're asking how to interrupt someone who's working with mostly-inconsequential personal matters. If someone did that to me, I'd be annoyed at their lack of situational awareness, and would be looking to end the interaction quickly and get back to work. There is no way to do this that is polite and respectful - at risk of sounding like a broken ...


323

Prompted to give an answer by @apaul, I thought I'd give a woman's perspective here :) As per my answer over at Workplace.SE on wandering eyes, most women are fairly used to the occasional involuntary glance at our chests from guys. It happens. However, once it reaches a point of "can't take your eyes off" then it rapidly jumps into creepy territory. ...


274

I have recently had to make a long series of doctors appointments. After the 3rd time someone asked me this I got a bit annoyed too and asked them why they were asking. The receptionist smiled at me and said I didn't have to be specific, but she wanted to know so she could provide details for the doctor. This way they can determine multiple things: How ...


209

Sorry if this comes across as barking out orders; it's not. You have every right to walk the way you want around me. But you asked. :) As a woman who has often walked alone late at night in less than savory locations (e.g. from an inner-city ER to my car in a distant-ish parking lot, or - worse - in the parking garage down the block), I think just slowing ...


205

When confronted with news that could either be good or bad, pick the response that is most common. Pregnancies, even unplanned, are normally met with cheer in the US. Congratulate them. That's just expected behavior. If you're wrong, they will simply tell you how they really feel. If you ask if it was planned, it could make them feel judged or get ...


187

Like most boundary related issues, this is one of those "set a boundary and stick to it" situations. If the boundary you set says that it isn't ok to drop by unannounced, then that's the boundary. Don't answer the door when she just drops by. Her reasons for feeling that it's ok to violate boundaries are really irrelevant, because dealing with it ends up ...


184

Just don't If you're paying $15 as a tip on a $55 hair cut, that's a total of $70 per haircut. You've flat out said other hairstylists are charging more than that for the same basic work. Except this girl knows you, what you like, what looks good on you. You're looking at risking this mutually beneficial relationship over 10 bucks a haircut. In Manhattan. If ...


175

Spend some time (with your wife) getting to know Jane. Invite her and her kids over for dinner, or a Saturday lunch grill-out, or have your two families meet for bowling or something. It seems strange to me that you'd let your kids play together, but only if you're around. When we moved to a new neighborhood, we got to know the family across the street that ...


175

Normally, the way to handle overly intrusive and rude questions is by staring a little and then saying Excuse me? Should they happen to repeat the question again, you can then ask Are you seriously asking me why I have a child? And then just stare until they apologize. You are not answering the question, in fact you are questioning the question, ...


172

You are looking for a breadth of answers, from which I read that you hope to find one which doesn’t advise you to leave her alone. If you do get such an answer I’d like you to think about this before accepting it: there's one significant obstacle: she's always wearing her headphones. She isn’t wearing them by accident, they are an obstacle she had ...


169

You need multiple strategies here. First, be more precise about your job. "I work in the space industry" naturally makes people think you're an astronaut or a rocket scientist. "I'm in professional baseball" would make people think you're a player or a coach rather than an accountant, chef, or janitor. So if you develop software, say you develop software. ...


164

I know a mother with two kids who frequently mentions how much she envies my career and my current relaxed life. But, of course, she would never even think about trading her life and her kids for mine. Different life choices give different rewards. There is nothing wrong with showing photos of your vacation, while they show photos of their kids and homes. ...


160

The default reaction of people these days is "I'm not gonna judge", but ... I'm going to go there. But first I'll address your actual question, then you can stop reading. ;D The problem is that you don't have any way of telling if he is actually into you, if he's just enjoying the occasional peek at a vibrant young lady, or if you're misreading the cues. ...


159

I think you handled it perfectly. First, a long silence. This is the best way to indicate to someone that their joke, suggestion, comment or whatnot is over some sort of line and not ok. Second, a joke. This gives them a chance to abandon their bad idea by "agreeing" that it was just a joke, ha ha ha, and moving on as though it had never been said. (You don'...


155

How do I explain this to her without her getting hurt/our friendship getting ruined? Okay, that is definitely not going to happen. She is going to get hurt, and your friendship is going to be affected. (Not necessarily ruined, though!) You can't avoid that, since it comes from the fact that she has feelings you don't reciprocate. She is going to have to ...


149

When you say "ethical reasons" you are implying that you have made the right choice (morally correct choice). This has an inherent implication that every one else has made the wrong choice. The problem is that you do believe you have made the right choice. You're not trying to force that on other people. In fact, it appears that you are much more careful ...


146

I am Indian and it's considered good etiquette here to receive a compliment with indirect modesty. So I have tended to focus on the specific requirements or challenges of the job rather than my own qualities like smartness, when somebody asks such a question. Example: Q: "So you must be really smart?" A: "Oh this job requires a lot of concentration, ...


146

My biggest concern with you addressing Jane is that she could take offense to the implication of her wanting to seduce you (presently or at a future time), so to avoid that I'd suggest saying something more like: "My wife and I have an agreement to not spend time with the opposite sex alone, so out of respect to her I'd like to wait for my kids to come ...


137

How I would normally respond is: "Enough to pay the bills" This way, they'll get that you're unwilling to disclose this information, they'll also know you earn enough to get by. You should reply with a polite undertone which insinuates that you're saying it in a way that you haven't taken offence to the question, either. As @Emrakul rightly points ...


133

Unfortunately the tech support people you are speaking to are probably as frustrated as you are at having to go through the basic stuff with you. Large companies especially deal with the massive volume of tech support calls they receive by employing some staff on lower pay as a "buffer," dealing with simple or "known" issues so that they don't need to ...


124

A few years ago, I used to fantasize about what it would be like to be in your situation, because I wanted to live in a very beautiful part of Europe. Kind of like winning the lottery, I suppose; it has its downsides. But you hit the jackpot! Were I in your place I would have ready a generic e-mail that I could customize for particular people/circumstances. ...


123

You say you're sure, but you can't ever really be. It's easy enough to spill or sit on something. And it doesn't even matter: you don't need to tell her what kind of stain it is, just that it's there. So just keep it simple, like you presumably would if it were anything else: "hey, I think you have something on your pants." She can figure it out and take ...


118

It's hard to deal with someone in a respectful manner if they themselves are not giving you respect. In this situation I would recommend being blunt and get directly to the point when refusing him. This answer from the Workplace SE has some great advice about the situation. So, in addition to writing things down after they happen each time, start ...


118

The requests usually come out of the blue, so I don't have time to work my relationship status into the conversation naturally. What's wrong with saying "Sounds great. I know a few great places like X, Y and Z. I'll ask my girlfriend if she wants to join as well." or something along those lines? To me it seems perfectly reasonable to ask my SO if ...


118

Judging by the answers already given, I'm apparently alone in that I find the whole thing kind of...funny? I'm picturing putting myself in the girlfriend's shoes. My boyfriend sits me down, very seriously, to tell me he needs to talk. I obviously fear the worst. Then he tells me that for 9 months I've been buying him books by the wrong author. I've spent ...


117

I suggest you "own" it and if need be, tell a mild joke about it first. I know someone whose initials are STL and who worked on the C++ Standard Library (which for historical reasons we all call STL) team at Microsoft. Nobody was confused by that, and many people called him STL deliberately to draw attention to the name thing. So you can say "Hi, I'm ...


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