117

I suggest you "own" it and if need be, tell a mild joke about it first. I know someone whose initials are STL and who worked on the C++ Standard Library (which for historical reasons we all call STL) team at Microsoft. Nobody was confused by that, and many people called him STL deliberately to draw attention to the name thing. So you can say "Hi, I'm ...


105

It could be of course of great help if you could get the bouncer to acknowledge the mistake, or at the very least to disclose where the information come from, but I wouldn't count too much on it. Thankfully, even in absence of this, your social circle can search the local sex offenders registry and note that you are absent of it. As advised for example on ...


104

I had a similar situation when I was a teenager - an online friend who didn't give any indication to her gender, so we all assumed she was male, and she never bothered to correct us. One day, she said something about her personal life that indicated her gender, which surprised me in particular, and I incredulously asked "[username], are you a girl??&...


90

I once had the same issue with an online friend. Since I have anxiety, I was very afraid that the person might react badly to me giving them a gift (feeling embarrassed and awkward). To resolve this, I simply decided to "warn" them beforehand and ask them if there was okay with me giving them a gift. In this case, the other person was absolutely ...


53

I'd suggest something similar to @Ælis' answer. However, I'd phrase it like: You: I'm going to be in London for the big Poké event! Her: Omgggg. Really? ... (Poké discussion here) You: While I'm there, I'm planning to get trinkets for a bunch of my friends. Would you want me to get you one too? Similar to Ælis, this focuses on asking ...


45

I've been in a similar situation and by my experience the #1 thing you need right now are a few allies. You won't be able to resolve this all by yourself. I had a good friend on the scene who is also a great IPS person and he came with me and we managed to resolve the situation before the event was over. After the fact, things are more tough. The situation ...


44

There is no way of knowing for sure how they'll react to it, but being upfront and honest about it, while stating your reasons and apologizing for keeping it a secret for this long is probably the best way to go. Correct me if I'm wrong, but as I understand, initially you were unsure of how they would treat you knowing you're female. Then as time went on, ...


31

I'm so sorry you're going through a difficult time right now and that you feel you need to rely on this person, but it's never ok to kiss a sleeping person on the lips unless you have a previously-established romantic relationship with that person. A sleeping person cannot consent to being kissed and its telling that, despite how close you two are, he ...


27

I hate to be this person, but I think this is a bit beyond an "awkward situation" and might have crossed the border into sexual assault. I know he's your best friend and he's helping you through a difficult situation, but what he did was take advantage of an emotionally distressed person that was sleeping. At least in the U.S., platonic/non-romantic ...


24

There are many reasons she might want to bring another person. One might be to ensure her safety, or that of her reputation. Another might relate to a promise made to her parents or someone else. She might be trying to make it clear to you that this is not a "date" or romantic meeting, just two work friends chatting. She might even want someone to ...


23

The answer here lies in building your own narrative. Right now, the prevailing narrative is that Anne met up with you at a bar and you were kicked to the curb for being a sex offender. Anne, shocked at learning this, is then spreading the news out of concern for other unaware people who know you. Not only is the information Anne's spreading blatantly false, ...


18

I like to deal with awkward situations with acknowledgement and honesty. Even more so if I made the situation uncomfortable for the other person and there's a big risk they'll continue to feel uncomfortable around me. So I would have a short conversation to clear the air, something like : Now that we're working on a project together, I don't want things ...


17

From what you write, it seems you properly establish your personal boundaries - but unfortunately the father chooses to disregard them. That means you need to escalate your enforcement of the boundaries. There are many ways to do this, depending on the details of the situation and what you feel comfortable with. Just as an example, I would propose a gradual ...


16

Disclaimer: I am not trans, but I am queer and I came out to my immediate and extended family when I was 17, so I can only speak from my experience. Regardless of how you plan a coming out, it inevitably won't go quite as expected. When I came out to relatives, I spoke to most of them myself either in person or over the phone. There were awkward questions,...


16

First things first: she doesn't need to be taught a lesson. She owes you nothing. She's minding her own business going to university, dating some people who are worthy of her and some who aren't, finding out who she is. You've built up a whole thing in your mind where you're going to marry her, so you're very invested in all this, but she knows nothing about ...


16

There is a saying "if you have to ask, you can't afford it." This saying isn't true. A simple and honest approach would be I would love to have one of your works but they are so lovely, I suppose I can't afford them. How much would [a small piece, a simpler work, something like that one there] cost me? Note the deliberate wording of "cost me" not just "...


15

I have a stutter. It's a small one, so people don't really realize I'm stuttering. It comes across more like I'm insecure about what I'm saying. So even though it's a bit awkward, I just tend to announce to people that I stutter, often right after I did. Ah, FYI, I have a slight stutter, don't worry about it ! Anyway, what I was saying is... (It doesn't ...


12

I don't see a nice way to preemptively prevent this. The only ways I can imagine would, to me, seem awkward or come off as strange to them. Instead, I'd do as you've done by announcing your name to give them a hint of your gender. And then, if they do assume incorrectly, politely but firmly correct them: OPERATOR: This plan will offer you 154 channels. ...


11

Don't contact her. A cease and deist letter is the clearest possible signal anyone can give, short of an actual restraining order, that they don't want to hear from you again. If you contact her again, you risk getting an actual restraining order next. Nothing good will come from contacting her again. She has likely heard the entire story, including your ...


11

While I wasn't in a similar situation myself directly, I had an (online) friend that found himself in a similar situation. I tended to present much more aggressively ("male", some would say), but I was also quite outspoken so if somebody I expected to stick around assumed wrong (or even worse, expressed utter surprise that a "girl is playing ...


10

Edit: This is from experience of being a somewhat private person and living in a place where “what do you do?” is the common opener. If the other is an extrovert I just get them talking about themselves. If a fellow introvert, they usually won’t “fight” my direction of the topic. Answer to “What could hubby have done differently?” If the script is accurate, ...


10

First, this might be a bit of a 'western' look on things, but: Stop thinking you need to teach her a lesson. She is not your property, she's not a dog, she is a human being with the same rights as you have. You have crush on her, good for her. But just because you have feeling for her, doesn't she automatically has feelings, or the obligation to have ...


10

I met a man once here in Hungary, whose family name was similar to the PM's (the prime minister wrote his slightly differently, also a rare name). He introduced himself like this: -Hi, I'm X.Y., and the PM is my uncle. (short pause) Ok, just kidding. My name is written like this and that. And he went on with whatever he wanted to say. He obviously ...


9

I'm going to make the following assumptions, based on what you've told us: You at least care about the guy's feelings, because you're asking how to deal with this sensitively. You called him your friend, so beyond his current behaviour he is a decent enough guy He is within or connected to your other circle of friends, even if that is just while you're at ...


8

Honesty is the best policy here. He's only going to feel like you're "blowing him off" if your refusals are without reason. If you think more offers are forthcoming, your next response should be something like: Yes! Or, if you can't, then: I'm sorry I keep turning down your invites, I really want to hang out but weekends are usually difficult for me. ...


7

One thing that I've seen other internet friends do is make a general post on social media. For instance, something like I'm going to visit the Pokèmon center in London later this month, and I want to share the excitement! If any mutuals1 want a small souvenir, message me your address :) 1. "Mutuals" is a word I've seen used on sites like Twitter and ...


7

I lived through a very similar experience to yours-- I lived in the only single room on my floor of the dorms, and due to a combination of a depressive episode and just being on the shy side naturally, spent less time with others than most of the other students. With no roommate to share the friends-finding-and-inviting burden, I quickly started to feel ...


7

I feel I've had quite extensive experience of going to concerts and festivals. My first was 1992, my most recent was 2018, and that includes large festivals, medium-sized venues that hold a few thousand, and smaller, more intimate venues of perhaps 200 capacity. In my experience, I've observed that people go to concerts with different goals and expectations....


7

How can I convince my sister's husband to switch to boxer shorts? You can't. This is way too personal for you to be involved in. Between this being about underwear, and about it being a treatment for a potential medical problem, which is in turn about his family life...you can't get involved. This is not your problem to fix, do not even try. It's between ...


6

How to neutralise the behaviour of gym rats in the gym? "neutralize" and "gym rats" are definitely not nice words. If you use such words with the people at the gym, it is strange that they still accept you there. Even if you do not use these kinds of words, you have this kind of attitude, and it is very possible that you express it somehow non-verbally. ...


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