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74

This is definitely bullying. Even if you are a "bit annoying and difficult" as you say, personal attacks such as calling you fat and ugly are definitely way too far. This is what worked for me when I was bullied so you should probably take this with a grain of salt and change it based on what you feel is the best approach. Ignore Him Do not, under any ...


57

I think you should disclose that information to the dad as you inform him that your son will come to neither the play-dates nor birthday party. Given that the father states that his son doesn't use his wrestling training at school and him inviting your son, I assume that he is genuinely not knowing what happens, especially since the school seems unlikely to ...


53

If it were me I would just practice what I would say. I didn't have this with my class reunion, but oddly I ended up with someone from my home town and had some angst over his class reunion. The point is I decided what I would say, rehearsed that and had it ready. It need not be complex. Hi,it's nice to see you are doing well. If you can excuse me, I ...


31

The seeds of confidence need a breeding ground. Be the potting soil she needs. As you already have help from a profesional, I would just recommand that you: Tell her you love her. Show her you love her. Be supportive (i.g. by listening to her when she needs to talk). Reassure and encourage. Mark every little victory she has in the everyday life. Underline ...


29

Most of the answers so far are standard advise from people who have not been in the position of the victim. They require skills or traits that you may or may not have. Ignoring / staying calm - that is easy to say and much less easy to do against someone with years of experience in getting a rise out of people. If you are zen-like enough, definitely do that,...


27

Is there a way to show interest in getting to know others while still protecting yourself? Yes. Ask more questions and listen carefully. Most people like to talk about themselves to an extent (some a lot). If you ask them pertinent questions and listen to the answers, you'll get to know one aspect of that person. But you're worried about how they might ...


26

I have had this happen to me, so I'll pitch in. Meet and greet him like you would any other from way back when If he has grown up by the slightest amount he will be slightly ashamed and uncertain how to handle meeting you. If he is not, pity him - but don't give him any attention. You don't have to, anymore. I remember very well that just meeting my ...


23

Telling a parent that their beloved child is less than perfect is fraught with unpleasantry, but I think the parent needs to be told. If you want the father to actually hear you, though, you have to keep from putting him on the defensive right out of the gate, because parents interpret their child's bad behavior as reflections upon themselves (just as they ...


21

I abhor violence but I actually do agree that sometimes a good hard knock works. I've taught my daughter this too and she is the sensitive type. One time on the jumpy house another girl was getting physical with her (hitting and pushing) and she whopped her one back. The look of shock on the girls face that she would fight back was clear and quiet funny and ...


18

TL;DR - Confront your Sister In Law, insist she deal with you directly rather than your daughter and then try reach an agreement with the help of your wife and after planning some key points for conflict resolution Clearly something has happened to make your SIL think that your daughter should give her $8,000. What that something is will affect how you ...


17

Make racist remarks back at him? NOPE. When they go low, you don't. You have two equally valid options remaining: Tell the teacher. or Ignore him. If this is a one-off retaliation after he got the punishment, I'd suggest ignoring it. Once ignored, maybe there's no longer an issue from him. But if he continues, then report it to the teacher, or even ...


15

I've found this guy a while back and his solution is very easy and fun to watch. The principle: "Bullies bully for the reaction, to get you crazy or to make you cry. If you take away the reaction and stay calm, don't give them what they want, and you're kind 100% of the time, I'm telling you, it's very difficult for them to keep making fun of you" From ...


12

Option 2 seems to be the most viable option. But I have a story that I think you'll appreciate. I am from India. Attended school in India. Bullying is a big thing in India, but never something actually addressed. The term bullying is not a recognized as something that needs to be addressed. When you go to the teacher about someone bullying you, you usually ...


11

When I was younger I went through a really rough time. My self-esteem was in the toilet and I wasn't coping very well. One thing that someone told me helped tremendously: You gain self-esteem through esteemable acts. It seemed stupidly obvious, but I gave it a shot and it helped a lot. Esteemable acts are different for different people. Some people ...


10

There are tons of ways to show someone you are interested in getting to know them without explicitly revealing things about yourself Initiate Contact: If you are the one to approach someone else this shows immediate and obvious interest. Ask Questions: Especially detailed or open-ended questions. This demonstrates interest by showing that you want to ...


10

Regarding Alice's husband, if he doesn't want to be a jerk then saying something simple like: That's not a very nice thing to say. will most likely be very effective at getting him to change his behavior. (It's worked on me before.) If he doesn't care that he is a jerk, but cares about what other people think about him, then saying the above will ...


10

I recently got a haircut. Ever since I got a boy-cut, everyone in my school spreads vicious rumours about me (...) I got physically bullied as well (...) Before my haircut, all these teachers were civil and I was usually the class favourite. It seems that the short haircut was interpreted as an open rebellion against conservative cultural values, ...


9

My ideal outcome would be to end the conversation as quickly as possible, without being confrontational, but also without being false – I don’t want to pretend I like Brian when I don’t. You can do just that. Look up ways to exit a conversation and you can engage in small talk about what's changed in profession, school or life and easily end it, since this ...


9

Quite easy to decide: Is there anyone else you want to see and vice versa? Would you go to a party instead of a reunion with the very same people? If the answer is yes, go, else don't go. It does not make sense to go if ostracism goes on and you don't feel welcome. Don't let guilt you into participating. If you decide to go, the question remains how to ...


8

How to stop my boss's son physically bullying me First, as painful as it may be, you actually have to ask this person to stop if you haven't already done so. I think in this case they know they are acting poorly, but still you need to be able to say to either HR or an attorney "Yes, I asked him to stop." Additionally, you need to document the instances, ...


7

The teacher is the person of authority in the classroom. She should be dealing with the situation, not you. If she is not, then she is not doing her job. The teacher should not tolerate you or anyone else being interrupted, cut off, mocked, ridiculed, or belittled when answering or asking a question during class. Nor should she be tolerating any other ...


6

An alternative point of view. How much do you really want to be attending this reunion? As someone who was profoundly bullied all the way through school (and I mean all the way, from age 5 until I left at 18, with daily physical, verbal and emotional abuse), getting away was by far the best thing for me. I used to come home at Xmas and go out at New Year ...


6

her brother is probably Kim Jong-Un Answer: "I know. We have nukes." Also, there's one very good line she can pull on a bullying guy: "I don't care what you think or say." Make racist remarks back at him. NOT RECOMMENDED If she looks korean and the other is african, then all the anti-racists, teachers and staff included, will side against you. Don't ...


6

Sound like classic bullying. Popular kids can be bullies. You should not have to learn to be happy with it. I suggest you keep a list of his bully actions and report to your teacher again. Ask to be moved. If your teacher does nothing then you and your parents should talk to the principal. Bullying is serious. Your teacher should take action.


6

My husband had a friend who used to love making fun of his wife in front of everyone. I didn't say anything the first time I heard it because she didn't look unhappy - she was smiling/rolling her eyes as he spoke. So I wasn't sure if she would appreciate my interference. After a few visits, I just had to speak up. After one of his 'jokes', I turned to his ...


6

The common advice against bullying is to ignore. Unfortunately, ignoring bullies can and often will lead to group dynamics where you become the designated punching bag. If the bully gets a positive response from the group instead of you, the bully got what they wanted, and it doesn't matter at all that you "ignored" him. In the worst case scenario, all you ...


6

It is important to start at the beginning. In the moment it seems as if you don't know what's going on. That means the beginning is to examine the situation and find facts. Did your daughter borrow the money and you just don't know about? Does your SIL have any kind of problem with your daughter and she wants to .. well what does she want? Ask both, ...


5

There is great advice in both answers above. This is a kind of concrete answer to fill in the gaps. This has been said already, but bears repeating: Therapy. Therapists are not all created equally. Get a good one and if there doesn't seem to be a good connection between the therapist and your gf, offer to help her find another. Self-compassion is different ...


5

Involve your parents. First and foremost, this is something your parents have to take action against by notifying the appropriate authorities (teachers, principal). If her school has a school psychologist they also need to get involved. The school should know what action to take e.g inform the child's parents. I told her that she has 3 options, in order ...


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