162

No one likes to be ignored, but with digital media, that's unfortunately something you will have to get used to. People often read messages pretty quickly but do not always have the time to immediately respond. Especially in a case where a reply is not a quick answer or might need some more thought behind it, such as how it sounds from your example. This is ...


97

You can't expect people to answer you right away when you send them a written message. They might be busy, they might be too tired to answer, they might haven't taken any decision yet and so one. Unless you are sending a message to one of your employees during work hours, this person doesn't owe you their time. And responding to someone is something that ...


64

If you don't want to discourage someone sharing an article, but you want to point out that it's a hoax, you should: Start by saying something positive about the article or thank the person for sharing it Express some regret (e.g. "unfortunately") that it's a hoax Share a link providing evidence of it being a hoax (Optionally) point out what made you think ...


57

Just because it is called "instant message" doesn't mean you get an instant reply. There are countless reasons why someone may not respond to a message. They might be driving, at work/school, or maybe - crazy thought - they might be someone who doesn't check their phone every 5 seconds. Even if you have some kind of indicator that they have read the message,...


47

Ignoring IM's is part of proper use, start doing it, too. View ignoring of instant messages (IM's) positively. Some more determined people are ignoring IM's intentionally as part of their personal boundaries to keep their focus, productivity or peace. They are determined to ignore personal instant messages in work to prevent distraction. They are determined ...


43

It is in my opinion rude, but maybe not for the reasons you could think. You have the right to think their texts are pointless, of course. And you have the right to tell them : Sorry, I'm somewhat busy, I can't think about that right now, I'm not interested by this, etc... This is not rude. What is rude is not giving them a return. This is an important ...


34

It isn't rude to read and not reply directly. But from the three examples you gave, I would say it would definitely be considered rude by the other person if they never go a reaction from you. To the 'you-might-be-interested-in-this-messages', you certainly don't have to reply immediately. Actually, these are probably the messages that you can ignore for ...


30

You give them a call. Email, IM, text messages are asynchronous media. You can't expect people to drop what they are doing to answer you. Read / Received receipts mean the message was delivered and (possibly) displayed on some screen. It does not mean it was looked at, read, or understood. What does this mean for you? It's worth accounting for some delay ...


27

This has actually been a pretty big problem in the US over the last few years... People see something they really like or really hate and share it. It happens so much that many people have trouble spotting "fake news" or hoaxes. One of my cousins majored in journalism in college, she got up on her soapbox one night and spelled it out for the family. ...


27

The fact he read your message doesn't imply that he has to reply. I know this might sound rude, but it's perfectly fine to not answer when someone you barely know sends you a message. There are countless reasons for which he might not want to reply (maybe he's busy, maybe he's not interested anymore, etc.). The fact you chatted with him doesn't give him ...


14

How can I set boundaries to let people know I expect a reply, even if it's like "I don't feel like doing this anymore"? Boundaries are supposed to protect what is precious to you. You first need to determine what that is. If the precious thing is your time, for example, you can say something like The offer is good until tomorrow. After that, the deal’s ...


14

Sometimes in cases like this I reply using the correct spelling or phrase (or pronunciation), without explicitly pointing out that the person made a mistake. In this case you might reply with Let me know when you are back from your coffee break without saying "hey, you made a mistake there". Obviously he's going to understand that you saw a mistake, but ...


12

TL;DR The "instant" in instant messaging is a horrible misnomer. It isn't instant, and it's frustrating to expect it to be so. It engenders confusion in reasonable people. Longer "Instant" messaging is asynchronous (as in not synchronized), as is email, snail mail, text messaging, voicemail, etc. If there's no one there to take the message when it arrives,...


9

Personally, this would somewhat bother me in a case of a longer gap between messages. So what I do instead is thank a person right away: – Hey, do you have Bob's number? Thanks. – Here: +x xxx xx xx. No problem. This is both polite and doesn't needlessly alert people to "junk messages".


8

I would suggest following up with information on why a reply is important. Thinking about why you need a reply will help you deal with delays in messages. What is the name of the website? [read, no response] I will have time to look at your website tonight, and I would like to see it before we discuss this further. A lot of people have a hard ...


6

My friend finds this very rude. However, I do not. It depends on the sender personality. Ask yourself when you read the message "What I expect if I were the sender?". Sharing stuffs? "Yeah, it's cool." A reply may open an opportunity for them to start a long chat, but it's your responsibility to cut the chatter short if you are not interested or busy. ...


6

I've read all the other answers and I don't think they're great advice. (No offense.) This is IPS but also general business. You need to keep that in mind as you approach it. In this situation Be patient, accept that he won't get back to you soon, and be prepared for him to never get back to you at all on it. You can't win them all, and in life you're ...


5

Question, then show and question, then state it plainly The best way to make someone retract a statement if they themselves are made to examine it and then reach the conclusion. So first: ask. Are you sure about that one? I have some indications it may actually be a fake/hoax story. In the best of worlds, they will re-examine the story and find out ...


4

My fiance is like this. She doesn't tend to do little texts or emails. It made me nervous and took me quite a while to figure out how to handle it. Turned out she is just very focused, and whatever she is working on or doing at the moment is what she's thinking about. She doesn't spend a lot of time with extraneous communication. Eventually I stopped ...


4

Before rushing to judgement, consider alternative explanations. If she is reading WhatsApp on her phone, she might have seen the whole message in a notification on the top of the screen, which means she's read it but it is marked as unread for you. And she might then have written a quick 'ok' reply later without taking the time to notice that you'd deleted ...


4

While I agree with Cronax that many people perceive it as rude, I disagree strongly; they are rude for demanding an answer. The sender does not know what you are doing when you receive their message. You may just have started a long meeting. You may be at the cinema (you do have your phone set to silent, right?). You may be attending a funeral (you do have ...


4

I think this depends entirely on your culture (and possibly your age group) In my age group, messages like the ones you describe are not expected to be answered. They are purely a share. In general I would not answer one of those unless I had a specific follow up comment, and likewise, I wouldn't expect an answer if I shared one. It wouldn't be seen as rude ...


4

If you need some info at a particular moment, your best bet is to call. There is no accepted rule as far as I know when it comes to time replying to a text message. If you need to know if something by a certain time you can try sending them a call. If that that fails you can send a text or email saying that you just need to know by a certain time otherwise ...


4

I have a personal ranking of interaction and with each step down I assume that the answer my be delayed: face to face videocall phone call IM mail snail mail This helps to set expectations for the other party (when they get an email it means that it is less urgent compared to them coming in to see me in person). This is not a golden rule, there are lots ...


4

I suggest using a technique I call "The random fact conversation". It consists of stating a weird/fun fact about any subject. In your case, you can focus on a subject you like and wouldn't mind talking about with your coworker. You can introduce your fact like this: Did you know that...? Or I recently learned that... Your coworker might then reply by ...


3

I fear that my senders might think that I am a rude person or don't care about them or something I will answer from my point of view. To me, it depends on the topic of the message and the context. For example, I'm asking you to meet tomorrow. I don't mind if you read it and answer later (as long as you answer of course), but if it is an hour before our ...


3

There are some contradictions in your question : First you say you wish to be more social at work, but then you end your question by saying you'd prefer to do something else (as long as it's not rude). Talking about mundane stuff makes you scream inside, but you prefer to talk about this than your private life. So if I were you, I'd first take some time ...


2

Send it. I will tell you, based on personal experience, when you send a message that says "Thanks", there is potential for that to be really, really annoying. Let me explain why it can be even more annoying than the hypothetical scenario that you pitched. (Then I will explain why I say "Send it", despite having just proved how annoying it is.) I've ...


2

Many people perceive it to be rude Regardless of my personal belief, many people have come to perceive it as rude if you read something and don't reply, especially since in the case of a whatsapp message they can see that you've read it. We can go into a long discussion about people's expectations in today's 'always on' society and whether or not it's ...


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