143

Ooohhh, so recognizable! I've been overweight for at least 10 years, the last 6 I'm hitting a BMI of obese. I've worked in a shop, as a cashier. I've twice had little children call me fat, in such a way that is was audible for both me and their parent. They were always in the age range of 4/5 years. I never felt an apology was really necessary. What I ...


135

My eldest step-son is on the spectrum and had a similar incident when he was 9 or 10. Another kid pushed all of his triggers and my step-son snapped and tried to choke the kid. This was way out of character for my step-son, he'd never been violent before, and after hearing what happened it was pretty clear that he was provoked. The thing is... Being ...


125

The way I've dealt with this situation is to ask my server if I could be moved to a different table. It's a little loud over here could we move to another table? Perhaps outside? Approaching the parents of the screaming child isn't likely to go well for anyone, they're already stressed and preoccupied, just don't. Asking to move to a new table solves ...


109

(Preface: Some people have taken offense at how pro-parent this answer is. There's good reason for this. In any meaningful interpersonal situation, we have to pay attention to the mindset of both parties in order to find the best solution. Everyone knows the mindset of the person who has to hear the child screaming. We've all been there. Those without ...


99

He's a kid. Treat him like a kid. That means being explicit about your boundaries. Kid: "Can I stay the night? I want to play some more on the VR tomorrow!" You: "No. I'd rather you don't stay here without one of your parents around. You're free to come again next time with your mom/dad to play with the VR some more." Sure he might be a bit upset that ...


79

From an outsider's perspective training/exercise with a dog looks a lot like play. Particularly curious kids won't recognize a difference. You could just try explaining it to them in age appropriate terms. Sorry kiddo, the dogs are training right now. It's like they're doing their homework, it helps if they're not distracted. Or These are very ...


70

Even though I am located in Germany, this could also be applicable in other locations. Make it a get together, maybe a BBQ or something like that. You invite the parents and their kids. Now you have the opportunity to get to know the parents more so they might trust you in the future. During the time you get to know the parents you might suggest a "play-...


70

Somewhat different perspective here. I'm on the spectrum myself (also higher functioning, more specifically what used to be known as Aspberger syndrome). I used to have incidents like this as a kid all the time. Given my own experience, I would argue that you're approaching this from the wrong direction. Most likely, the teacher either already knows that ...


54

I just had a rather interesting idea for you. Simply treat the baby as if it were any other human being that your co-worker brought to work. "Hello, John/Suzie/Star-Lord, pleased to make your acquaintance." You can shake their tiny hand, if that feels natural to you. If said with a smile, then it's unlikely to offend anyone, and even if everyone is ...


52

It seems that you have a very (re)productive company! You are not at all obligated to have interactions with a colleagues progeny in such a manner as you describe. There are also many new parents that would baulk at the idea of passing around their newborn amidst numerous parties. It is usually courteous to join the group, smile and say something like "...


48

A very powerful way to get your mother to support your choice, or at least to stop arguing with it, is to stop explaining or defending it. She has heard your reasons many times, I am sure. She has rebutted them. She has presented her reasons. What you probably don't realize is that when you tell her a reason, you are giving her something to argue with. "I ...


40

This isn't going to be a popular answer, but I have used this tactic before with success... Use non-verbal cues to let the parents know that you've noticed their kid's misbehavior and that you're not happy about it. Make direct eye contact. If they're the kind of parents that are already feeling self-conscious about it, this might be the motivation they ...


39

Not to stray too far into parenting but I had a similar problem with learning reading comprehension at a young age. My primary motive for not reading much was the same too: I was uninterested in what I was being shown. This is where the key to the answer lies. You need to find a topic that Jane is interested in. There are likely to be a few where she's very ...


38

"Baby Talk" may be beneficial to babies. There is evidence that it can help babies identify words earlier. To answer your question, though... Should I join in this pitch-raising stuff or is it OK if I talk normally? Yes, it is perfectly fine if you talk normally. If you have limited exposure to the children, then any benefit from you using "baby talk" ...


36

You can definitely say something in the situation you described. You are not correcting the child's behavior, you are just voicing the inconvenience caused by someone to you. If you see a child throwing rocks at pigeons or swearing/cursing other children, then probably not. Even though it is a bigger problem, it is a problem that does not concern you. It ...


36

Inform them when to stop playing beforehand. As a gamer myself, I find that it's frustrating to be told to stop right now. Some games cannot be stopped immediately, especially online games. And some goes so far as cannot be paused immediately. I'm talking about Dota 2, LoL, Overwatch, Counter-Strike Online, and other MOBA-genre games. Establish a schedule ...


34

How can I tell people that my girlfriend and I don't want, and never will want children of our own without being rude? Why do you need to? A large part of interpersonal skills is compromise. Others don't understand your viewpoint that you don't want to have children; you don't understand their viewpoint that you probably will want your own children when you'...


34

As you've seen, young children being raised the way you describe (different meals for small people, allowed to eat away from the table, playing with whatever they see instead of only things their parents brought for them) are difficult guests at a traditional dinner party. As I see it you have at least three options: host a different kind of get-together. ...


32

It's important for the translator to not be part of the conversation. I've used a translator many, many times -- for different languages and many circumstances. I've developed a kind of sense for when a translation is going good or not. If a translation is not going well, you might as well go home. I have had bad translators, and they pretty much waste ...


30

In these situations, I ask a lot of questions and run through scenarios. I'm not playing to win, I'm playing to set up the shape of the game in the child's head. I keep it friendly and semi-cooperative and most of all take time over their moves. can you see which moves you can make? If not, talk them through it Let's talk through a few of your options:...


29

I see nothing wrong with what you proposed saying other than I don't ask questions to anyone (especially children) that aren't really questions (meaning the would you mind part). As long as your tone is kind and gentle, there is no flaw in doing so. It still won't always be received well. I was shopping once and a random child ran up and attempted to ...


28

I will be that guy right now, and risk all the downvotes. If the truth offends me, then that is my problem. If the truth offends you, then that is your problem. In this case, the child is only speaking the truth. "That man is fat". Depending on tone of voice there is no implicit accusation, judgment or condemnation in this statement. These could easily be ...


27

how can we politely invite the adults but tell them to leave the kids at home What about Hi everyone, we’d like to invite everyone to dinner at our place, on Saturday, Jan 20 - for this time “adults only”. What do you think? Or something along these lines. you may in addition set a later starting time to underline the “adult” aspect of the dinner set ...


27

As much as I hate to say this, anything you can do to "soften the blow", so to speak, might be entirely ineffective. If your wife is that against the idea, it is probably a much better idea for both you and your daughter if you hold on to the secret until she is out of the house and living on her own. If she's really a control freak like you say, and she ...


26

Like it or not you are an authority figure in the kid's life. You all live together, and you're more or less an uncle at this point. Well, perhaps I should specify that you're a secondary authority figure... I think you handled the situation appropriately. You set a hard boundary and enforced it without losing your cool. Perhaps you were a bit stern, but it ...


25

Frankly, I think it would help successful "negotiations" with your wife if you try to understand her point of view. From her perspective, what you are offering now and what you got when she went on vacation with the child are two different things. What she gave you (from her perspective): Quiet time at home without the child and her to do whatever you ...


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