77

There's one simple fact that I think is being overlooked here: They invited you to dinner. Generally speaking you don't invite someone to dinner if you want to have a hard conversation, because that could spoil everyone's appetite. A serious conversation, maybe, but not an accusatory one. I personally feel based on the information provided that there's ...


38

Warning: this is an arm-twisted way of solving the situation and it could damage your relationship with them. I have anxiety issues. Sometimes, people want me to go somewhere but, in my eyes, they aren't giving me enough information. Not having enough information can cause me a lot of (otherwise avoidable) stress and I don't like that. That's why, when the ...


23

I tend to ask very generally about the issue when I find myself in such situations. ie. instead of "Have you used my computer?", I would say: It looks like my computer got moved since I last used it, you haven't noticed anything have you? In this way my question is limited to the thing you noticed that made you suspect someone used your computer, I'...


21

I've found the best way to resolve things that could be heated is to try and leave the other party a way out without losing face. Perhaps say Howdy neighbor I noticed some odd trash in my bin, do you think one of your kids might have mistaken mine for yours? I'd not mind but it costs more money/my bin was too full for my trash. OR Hey neighbor, have ...


20

I dated someone for several years who was upfront about the fact that they never wanted to live with a romantic partner. Although I understood and respected their decision, it was still hurtful for me because I love spending time with them and I ultimately do want to live with a romantic partner. (Due to that and several other long-term incompatibilities, we ...


19

As I've gotten older (and made more professionally), the number and frequency of appeals has increased. And with that has my method of saying 'no'. One thing to keep in mind is that as long as they're talking to you, there's a chance. Additionally, fundraisers are trained to get "3 nos". If someone's at my door, I just say something like "I have ...


6

I have been in this situation and situations very similar to this one before, this is how I handle this. Usually when this happens (with friends or very good friends) either me or another of the people in the group will try to divert the conversation. You and others did this, but it did not work. If this still fails after, let's say three tries, then ...


5

My wife and I both lived alone for a very long time before we got together. It wasn't necessarily by choice, just circumstances; and while neither of us had a lifelong goal to live alone as you do, we both enjoy some space. I would say that we can now fully appreciate and acknowledge the benefits of living alone, but also the benefits of being together as a ...


5

This is something I used to run into with my college roommates. It's all too easy to go from "Is this your bowl in the sink?" to "Yea, but you leave your clothes in the washer for days, so who cares?" to a downward spiral with no end. In my years living with messy people, my chief advice here would be to ask yourself: What's your actual goal here? ...


3

My way of handling situations similar to this is to excuse myself from the conversation saying something like: This really isn't a topic I feel like discussing right now, can we get back to [insert previous topic]? This is usually enough with my friend group to softly burst the story tellers bubble a bit so to speak, this gives others a chance to ...


3

I'd like to echo the other warnings about worrying about feeling impolite - as others have said they are relying on and exploiting your politeness. One easy way out of this that I often use is to smile and simply answer, "No thanks". No matter what the question was. Then, without hesitating or lingering and using body language to clearly indicate the ...


2

Joe also said I don't take feedback well Maybe other people have different opinions about this, but if that is what he thinks, you need to respect that. please keep in mind that we, as people, take feedback differently from different people. Think about how you take feedback from your family, your professors, from friends you trust, from people you hate, ...


1

I usually find what works is phrasing it a bit like "I don't mind, but just wondering if you were using my computer?" - You could add in a bit about why you need to know or if you are just curious, add "just curious..."


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