101 votes

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

Instead of saying Excuse me, you are taking all the room. I'd go with Excuse me, I don't have enough space, could you move a bit? It's just less accusatory (and as such, less confrontational), ...
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  • 5,410
74 votes

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

Quick note: This answer is writing from my own experience. I fully acknowledge that there are (several?) men (maybe women too?) who are far less considerate than I am and just push out to get as much ...
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  • 5,863
54 votes

Friend is very nitpicky about side comments I don't intend to be taken too seriously

I live with someone who often tells me that I'm completely wrong but if I push back and say I am in fact right, says things like "I didn't really intend anyone to take that seriously" or "it was just ...
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  • 43.5k
37 votes
Accepted

Could keeping score help in conflict resolution?

My partner and I have been using a scoring system for household tasks since we moved in together, because we both felt that we did more than the other and that the labor not was divided equally. Our ...
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19 votes
Accepted

How to help spouse improve her cooking, without making her feel overly criticized?

Cook together sometimes, especially the dishes your wife prepares for you that you value most I endorse everything Rainbacon's answer says, and have a complementary suggestion: cook together sometimes....
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  • 16.3k
17 votes

How to help spouse improve her cooking, without making her feel overly criticized?

Background I can certainly relate to what you are going through. I recently got married and meals have been the largest source of conflict for my wife and I. I am on the autism spectrum, and because ...
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  • 9,032
17 votes

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

In my answer, I hope to give you some background on the issue that might help you overcome your shyness/conflict aversion over it. You characterized this behaviour to be very rude and unpleasant. ...
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17 votes

Friend is very nitpicky about side comments I don't intend to be taken too seriously

I have a friend with whom I end up passionately discussing stuff quite often, but its usually fun and we both learn a lot. That being said, we both have developed very simple techniques to avoid ...
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  • 1,075
16 votes

Friend is very nitpicky about side comments I don't intend to be taken too seriously

If you don't care about debating the subject, don't want to start an argument, and are only interested in stopping your friend, then there's a pretty simple solution. Just admit you were wrong. If ...
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  • 1,957
16 votes
Accepted

How to respond to complaints from strangers about my loud toddler child?

In such situations you don't respond at all. You can only control your child to a certain degree at that age. You can certainly not stop them 100% from screaming all the time. There will always be ...
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  • 3,974
16 votes
Accepted

How can I get my wife to be less spendthrift?

How can I improve my communication with her in the hope that she understands my points and makes an effort to stop being spendthrift? Going back to family counseling. You've already tried everything ...
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  • 5,410
16 votes
Accepted

Wife hanging out with her brothers, makes husband jealous

The husband needs to figure out what his problem actually is. Typically, a husband gets jealous of his wife hanging out with guys due to "competition", but these are her brothers. I honestly hope ...
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  • 1,558
15 votes

My boyfriend blocked me, I would like to make up with him

In my experience, the only real apology that matters is changed behavior. This is something that I have been on both sides of. Apologies with written or spoken words, gifts, gestures, etc. are nice in ...
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  • 469
12 votes

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

You can't. The conflict is inherent to the request. There is some space. They would like to use it. You would them not to use it. This is a conflict. There may be some interpersonal tactics ...
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  • 145
11 votes

Could keeping score help in conflict resolution?

TL;DR: There is always some score-keeping happening in relationships, but to get the benefits of score-keeping you're going to depend hugely on how you keep the score and even more on how you ...
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  • 33.7k
10 votes

How can I communicate to my wife my concerns about her spending habits?

You have two problems here, and you've only identified one of them. The first thing you need to figure out is why she felt the need to reduce her hours, spend more, and not tell you about any of it. ...
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  • 5,793
10 votes

How can I get my wife to be less spendthrift?

I know this answer is a subset of MilleMies answer but I thought my personal anecdote of being the spendthrift partner was a useful addition. When I was 17 I went out with a 26 year old, he was in ...
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  • 3,023
9 votes

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

As you've found, other people just don't mind or pay attention to physical contact as much as you might. So another approach is necessary. Take up all your available space immediately when sitting ...
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  • 4,046
9 votes

Explain to group of friends that I will not show empathy to other friend

You don't have to change your view, or condone her actions to feel empathy. Empathy is extremely broad, and has a place everywhere. You can feel empathy for the worst people on the planet, because ...
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  • 657
8 votes

How can I communicate to my wife my concerns about her spending habits?

Back when we first got married, money was tight for both of us. Both my wife and I kind of had a "head in the sand" mentality and we were constantly running short of money. The solution for us was ...
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  • 32.2k
8 votes

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

I am a woman, not very tall, so I can understand where you are coming from. I usually use the subway for work. I live in a country where personal space is rather small-to-non-existant. I have used the ...
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  • 2,218
8 votes

How to resolve a conflict between the beliefs of establishment scientists/researchers and my evidence?

The first thing you need to realise is what you're working against. You are claiming you have a groundbreaking new theory that goes against a lot of established knowledge in a field where you have no ...
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  • 2,239
8 votes
Accepted

How to encourage girlfriend to apologize more?

I'm going to challenge this question a little bit. You are in a relationship with someone who only apologizes after a long period if at all and apparently does not accept accountability for their ...
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  • 32.2k
7 votes

How to deal with neighbor with vendetta

I've been in similar situation twice. One living in a house and one in apartment. First of all - You cannot be sure it's the new renter. While living in apartment, the "complainer" was a person who ...
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7 votes

Helping my mom accept that I can't be available as much as she wants

I am going to recommend you stop saying sorry. There are two reasons for this: it is always followed by "but", which negates it. "Sorry, but that's how my life is right now" isn't really an apology ...
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  • 43.5k
7 votes

Could keeping score help in conflict resolution?

I've been in two different couples where we had this kind of problems and different ways to solve it. I never had to implement a score keeping system. My understanding is that as long as both partners ...
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  • 4,740
6 votes
Accepted

How to mend a friendship when my friend thinks I'm in the wrong and I don't wish to apologize

Respond with Empathy ...because we had been planning for months and I decided two weeks ago to invite the boy, and I chose him over her. Whether intentional or not, you've made your priorities ...
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  • 176
6 votes

Explain to group of friends that I will not show empathy to other friend

I think that your goal here, although a good goal, is not possible. Why? You cannot ever really make someone else do anything. (If that were the case, crime would be non-existent). You can help ...
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  • 32.2k

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