248
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How to communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she cooks dessert for everyone except me who is vegan?
You are asking for something extra
I think it is perfectly fine to be vegan. But if there is a bunch of people to be cooked for, demanding a change of meals because of the wishes of one would be ...
- 2,197
203
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How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off?
Anne is clearly a fervent believer in saving power. In fact, one might go far enough as to call her a fanatic based on your description.
And your mistake has been making concessions, and validating ...
- 17.1k
181
votes
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How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?
My goal is to win these arguments if they occur or to stop them from happening entirely. Everything but losing the argument, basically. How can I do that?
You need to modify your definition of "...
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168
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How can I ask my girlfriend to split gas money for a long trip?
You talk about having a "fair [...] healthy relationship." I'm speaking from experience when I tell you that if you focus on every little thing that you've done and she hasn't, the relationship isn't ...
- 15.2k
165
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How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding?
You handled your end perfectly, and I mean, perfectly. Kudos on setting and keeping a boundary.
How can I get my mom to understand that I'm not responsible for the mess she found when she came home?...
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158
votes
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How can I convince my significant other to stop double standards?
From what you've said here (and in your other post), there are three problems :
She wants to win every argument and discussion
She won't stick to agreements intended to fix problems
She plays mind ...
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How to defuse or prevent an adult temper tantrum
I think you have something else going on here. Reading through this: he agrees to go out, but then is angry about something small. He makes disrespectful demands on your time and then misbehaves ...
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139
votes
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How to interrupt someone while they are telling a group wrong/embarrassing information?
In this particular case, John is speaking in public. You see that he is going to embarrass himself tremendously. You want to keep the embarrassment to a minimum. And you don't have the luxury of ...
- 6,244
136
votes
How to tell a "friend" to stop pretending to flirt with my girlfriend?
Short answer: Really it is your girlfriend that needs to be firm with him and tell him to stop. You can and should back her up, but she has to establish her boundaries with this person herself.
I ...
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136
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How do I protest my child's suspension without "poisoning the well"?
My eldest step-son is on the spectrum and had a similar incident when he was 9 or 10. Another kid pushed all of his triggers and my step-son snapped and tried to choke the kid. This was way out of ...
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133
votes
How to explain my complicated family background to people that I don't know very well?
These questions make my skin crawl.
That is very much a perception issue you have that may just need to get to grips with, as honestly, they are all perfectly normal conversational questions in ...
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124
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How do I avoid strange questions because of a flag?
You know, I'd like to quote the British comedian Stewart Lee on this, because there is many a true word spoken in jest. By way of a disclaimer, the subject of this comedy routine is absolutely not the ...
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122
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How to communicate to my mother that I find it hurtful when she cooks dessert for everyone except me who is vegan?
Originally commented on a different answer, but I want to flesh this out into a full response -
Unlike other answers, I don't believe your primary choice is to just accept this as what it is and move ...
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119
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Dealing with small crimes as a volunteer
Something that I found very effective when attending music festivals, and even while helping out as a doorman at a local club when I was younger, was a simple request for discretion.
Something along ...
- 54.9k
117
votes
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Stepmother wants me to sign for life insurance without consulting a lawyer, how do I tell her that I will only do this after talking to one?
Phone your stepmother. (As suggested by Martijn: You might want to ask someone to sit with you for this conversation. If you start 'giving in', that person can keep you from doing so.)
Tell her ...
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votes
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How can I make my girlfriend not to get fixated on false facts and listen for reasons?
There are probably a lot of issues at play with your girlfriend and relationship which I'm not picking up on well, but there are a few things I took from reading your question which might be of use:
...
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102
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Dealing with somebody who's ignoring my very existence
I hesitate to suggest shunning her like the other answers suggest. It seems like it might work, but it also seems like it could be traumatic for her.
A little about autism
I think it's worth knowing a ...
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votes
How can I stop enabling my brothers without my mom exploding?
Hmm...
The boys know how to keep things clean, they do help when parents are at home, but are lazy when the cats are away, and don't listen to Sis.
There are two problems here...
The boys
Mom
Let'...
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How to interrupt someone while they are telling a group wrong/embarrassing information?
If it was me, I might say something like,
John, you bring up an excellent point. Calling it a 'Mom's Room' is
kind of confusing. But calling it a 'Breast Pumping Room' sounds kind
of awkward....
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90
votes
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How can I convince my partner to accept my best friend instead of wanting to break up?
Directly and honestly. I think that your last line contains the exact information you need to express to your partner:
My friendship with [best friend] is really important to me, she's been a very ...
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87
votes
Accepted
How to defuse or prevent an adult temper tantrum
There are two huge keys to toddler tantrums. The first is understanding what causes them, and preventing that (not the tantrum, the trigger.) For my kids that meant making sure they did not get hungry....
- 45k
85
votes
Accepted
What to do if I suspect my friend is stealing from me?
There's an old saying...
If you lend someone $20 and you never see them again, it's $20 well spent.
I think that's where you find yourself with Mark, except for the fact that you're still hanging ...
- 54.9k
78
votes
Dealing with small crimes as a volunteer
In my experience, being polite actually works pretty well. I would approach with something like:
Hey guys, please don't smoke that here, there are kids participating in the event as well.
Chances ...
- 5,065
74
votes
How can I handle my father challenging everything I say?
You seem to be an apple that didn't fall far from the tree. When there are two people in an argument who prefer "anything but losing the argument" this is what is going to happen. People are going to ...
- 45k
73
votes
How to stop classmate from bullying me
This is definitely bullying. Even if you are a "bit annoying and difficult" as you say, personal attacks such as calling you fat and ugly are definitely way too far. This is what worked for me when I ...
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votes
How should I approach a situation in which I made a female roommate uncomfortable?
I, too, found your name telling (yes, actually, though most likely a joke, it's telling.)
I'm sure you meant it as a joke. That doesn't mean it isn't offensive. I take it you're a male.
You might ...
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70
votes
How do I protest my child's suspension without "poisoning the well"?
Somewhat different perspective here. I'm on the spectrum myself (also higher functioning, more specifically what used to be known as Aspberger syndrome). I used to have incidents like this as a kid ...
67
votes
Accepted
Is a verbal response that directly expresses anger always the wrong choice?
Always? No. There are times and places for these kinds of reactions.
Do I recommend such responses? Not often. But, as I said, there is a time and place where you may need to resort to these ...
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66
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How to approach the situation where someone "steals" your table?
In short: Place some of your belongings on the table/chair ASAP.
In similar situations, when I'm out with family or friends and we notice a table about to be vacated, we ask the present occupants if ...
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65
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How can I politely tell my fellow tenants that I am not the caretaker?
Well, just stop doing it.
Had the same problem when I was living in Hungary with 5 other girls. Don't wanna blame them, I think they just hadn't noticed at the time and since somebody was already ...
- 14.3k
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