22

There are multiple ways to handle bad behavior. As a parent and manager of people, I've learned that behavior continues as long as it gains a desired outcome. If the desired outcome isn't reached, eventually the behavior stops. In this case, I'm not sure what the desired outcome is. With our kids, we gave them a time out from reinforcement. In the ...


17

I didn't have this exact issue with my mom, but I have had the need to have difficult conversations with her about certain things she did and how they made me feel that it seemed like she was totally unaware of, just like in your case. Also I have taken some courses on negotiation and handling difficult conversations. In my family we don't talk feelings ...


8

You don't have to change your view, or condone her actions to feel empathy. Empathy is extremely broad, and has a place everywhere. You can feel empathy for the worst people on the planet, because you can take a minute to understand how they must feel right now. Pablo Escobar was a mass murderer, but it's perfectly reasonable to feel empathy for him when ...


6

There are two questions here really. One is how to get your mother to stop making these exaggerated complaints that leave you feeling completely unappreciated, and the other is how to choose what things you do with your mother that give her the most benefit for your effort. I think you can pursue both of these goals by (and I know this may be surprising) ...


5

I think that your goal here, although a good goal, is not possible. Why? You cannot ever really make someone else do anything. (If that were the case, crime would be non-existent). You can help others do do something, but generally can't make them do what you want. What you can do, however, is control your reaction to other people. I'd also add that ...


4

is there a better way? Possible misinterpretation Assuming there are no more relevant details to the situation you describe: note that being ignored is your interpretation of the situation. The people you texted might be busy with their own life, thinking about their answer to you or maybe plainly forgot about your text. Things happen. If they do ...


2

Joe also said I don't take feedback well Maybe other people have different opinions about this, but if that is what he thinks, you need to respect that. please keep in mind that we, as people, take feedback differently from different people. Think about how you take feedback from your family, your professors, from friends you trust, from people you hate, ...


2

This is a comment baldPrussian gave to this answer. I agree with it and it gives some nice meta info about how to read our two answers together, to preserve his comment I edited into my answer: Thanks for the compliment! If I may add: I'd suggest reading our two answers in tandem. Mine is more of an immediate solution which relies on the individual ...


1

OP here. While there was a few good answers, what worked for me was a little different, so I'm going to post it as an answer, in case it's ever useful to someone. One of my 'friend' had the idea to contact the mother of the person who has been severely injured, to try and convince her not to charge Rachel (which I'm pretty sure is illegal). So I asked ...


1

Explain your friends WHY you do that. They might even change their minds and be on your side. Make it clear that you refuse to ease the burden of responsibility from her shoulders, and that she actually has to learn from the experience, in order to avoid even greater troubles in the future. However, it would be nice of you to assist in "cleaning up the ...


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