111

I think that this falls squarely in the realm of common courtesy. You seem like a practical person, as am I. I tend to agree with you that many of these types of interactions are totally unnecessary, and often reduce efficiency. That being said, we are a part of a society. That society has certain norms and customs. There are also many different types of ...


62

I do not think that the statement is superfluous, as they are making clear that they are finished (in some situations, there may be more to do after you got the coffee, like getting sugar/milk or picking up something you had put on a table to handle the coffee (machine), i. e. anything making them stay around the machine longer than expected). I would say ...


51

If you feel that they are obstructing your path while opening the door, saying "Excuse me" while indicating you are fine holding the door open will trigger them to stop holding the door and actually making you a way. Just be sure to thank them afterward. I've learned this after someone did this to me. It was purely because my brain stopped processing common ...


49

I usually determine this by distance and perceived ability. Are they close enough to the door to not feel obligated to walk faster for my benefit and are they able to easily open the door themselves. Like if someone is far away it usually gets a little awkward, they feel pressed to hurry and you get stuck letting the ac vent out of the building for longer ...


44

"No thanks, I'm not much of a dancer. Would you like to grab a drink with me instead?" Honest is a good way to go. Decline, state the reason, and offer an alternative. It also makes it clear that you're not rejecting her, and makes a counter offer if she really wants to get to know you.


37

There is no polite way to say this as it is an incredibly rude gesture. The underlying problem seems to be that you do not trust your friend's judgement in women. You could go with the honest approach though: Hey ___, I know you like your girlfriend, but I do not and I have no interest in getting to know her better. The party is for ____ and we feel that ...


34

As Heinlein said: “Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untravelled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as "empty," "meaningless," or "dishonest," and scorn to use them. No matter how "pure"...


23

There's no harm in offering at least once. If she straight up says no, or is condescending, then you can presume she's not interested and you have no need to ask her any further. If she doesn't give any reason for why she has declined your offer, you can simply inquire as to why - without being too forceful. If she informs you that it's because she would ...


22

It's entirely down to personal preference. Yes it is generally acceptable to offer your seat to an elderly or disabled person (there are even some seats in places where you must give up your seat if a disabled person comes along), it isn't always necessary to offer it to women. If you don't want to offer it to a woman (just because they're a woman) then you ...


21

Asking if it's ok seems completely appropriate, particularly if you're in someone else's home or car. Even though there may be a reduced health risk, most vape products have an odor that other people may not appreciate, and that smell may linger. It may just be my perspective, but when making changes to a shared atmosphere it's appropriate to ask. Even ...


20

A friend of my friend is also my friend. It seems that you, and your group, may not be such good friends to your friend. Here's why: You imply that you like this friend. After all, you call him a "friend" and you want to invite him to your party. You and this friend may not have everything in common, or like all the same things. Still, you presumably ...


19

TL;DR: If they're 20+ seconds away, don't hold the door. If they're 10+ seconds away, it depends on the person. I have this issue a lot, especially when it comes to going into my dorm. The outer doors lock automatically when they close, so if I hold the door, I can save someone the hassle of having to get their ID to unlock it again. Plus, the doors are ...


16

I'd make it about myself. You could say: Wait up! May I ride along? I feel safer when I don't have to ride alone in these creepy outskirts. When you use this method you cannot discriminate between genders, because your stated intent is to create a safer commute for yourself. If it is allowed to ride side by side I don't think it will be awkward. It ...


15

In this situation you want something quick, to the point, while telling them you appreciate the act, and most importantly, that their act has succeed in its intention and is no longer required. A simple Thanks! I've got it now! should suffice.


14

There's no polite way of "hinting" anything. You're going to have to deal with the problem head on, and hope for the best. Just tell your friend the truth: "We all like you, but none of us likes your girlfriend," and that he'd be much more welcome at the party than her. This "puts the ball back in his court," and can also lead to a "separation" of the ...


11

Try viewing the situation in a broader context. It's not really just about this birthday party, after all. If your friend is in a long-term relationship, this is going to come up every time your group wants to go to a movie or have a party or have dinner out or whatever. I have a friend I've known for 30 years. A few years into our friendship he started ...


10

I'd imagine it would be more for the take away container. If we're thinking of the same thing (A small foil tray which is usually thrown out after the food is eaten) then returning this would seem rather odd, as this is only something they'd then throw out. If it's something that wouldn't be used again (i.e. would be thrown out) it would be more polite to ...


10

To elaborate on @wildbagel's answer: As a person who "almost literally cannot encounter a person without saying something" myself (a "silence-filler", as some friends have put it), I wouldn't necessarily expect a response at all. If you said anything, it wouldn't serve any purpose other than to engage in social intercourse and make your personality a part ...


9

In the UK on much public transit, you may see a sign like this near the entrance of the vehicle: The text reads: Priority Seat for people who are disabled, pregnant or less able to stand The images represent a pregnant woman, a skirted individual carrying a small child, and a person with a cane. Until recently, I tended to avoid the seating area ...


9

The only real answer to this is "no". You're rarely (if ever) "required" to do anything for the purpose of courtesy, particularly in this day, when it's not in any way codified. Otherwise, this is a matter of opinion. You will have some people say that it's best-practice and others say that it's personal preference and others still say to only send a card ...


7

I generally hold the door open if it would not fully close before the person reaches the door (since I'm holding it, I should be able to make a good guess). Especially for heavy doors, having to stop and push back the closing door is more work than just opening it. The next person would have to correctly guess the momentum of the door in order to know how ...


7

You should politely, but clearly, indicate that you want to open the door yourself. "Don't worry, I'll get it. Thanks!" And in terms of body language, you can take a small step back. Or a larger step back if they're on the way out the door and need room to get through. Once they know what is most convenient for you, most likely they'll courteously defer ...


7

I think in a way no matter how you approach this there will no doubt be some awkwardness because as you said they are a complete stranger and they most likely will be embarrassed because of the wardrobe malfunction. That being said I personally think these types of things are best handled in a straight forward manner. If you are too subtle about how you try ...


7

There are times when courtesy would imply that someone who finishes with a machine while someone else is waiting should let the other person know. There are many other times when it isn't necessary. Since the inconvenience someone might cause by failing to let someone else know that some kind of machine is ready could outweigh any "inconvenience" caused by ...


7

Australians use the term "No worries" in reponse to statements like these. It's a good response that doesnt really mean anything but has a positive connotation and we use it a lot to counter other meaningless but positive statements.


7

Say something like "Hey, it's dark, I'm not very sure if the roads are safe, do you want me to ride along ? I wouldn't mind". She would either say yes or no. If she says no, you can just say "Ok, stay safe, let me know if you ever need help". If she says yes, you can ride along. But as soon as she reaches her house, say "Bye, good night" and go back on ...


6

Under what circumstances is it okay to not hold a door open? Here's an important one: When access is controlled or occupancy is tracked. For example, some office buildings have strict rules that EVERY person MUST scan his or her badge individually, either for security purposes (i.e. you don't necessarily know if access has been revoked, even if you ...


6

I gauge it on whether it's actually going to help the person, vs provoke that half-jog to get to the door. 15-20 feet is about right. If your "door openee" is a touch further, it doesn't usually make sense unless: Target is elderly Target is overburdened You're trying to be charming; of course this is getting into flirting territory instead of basic good ...


6

I actually was just in this situation as the "offender". Weird. Let me tell you my side of the story, that might help you to understand why someone might actually act this way. short description of the area: straight hallway, pretty long but the area of question, from when I could see the person, was about 10 m the door was pretty much in the middle of us,...


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