88
votes
Accepted
Girlfriend feels she distracts me with her texts, any good way to prove otherwise?
I just finally converted a long distance relationship back into a short range relationship1, but during the long distance times I had this same exact issue. Only, my SO handled it completely ...
- 15.2k
68
votes
How can I politely tell a family who invited me for dinner that I'm still hungry?
My mom has a habit to cook for two meal times: breakfast and lunch, lunch and dinner, or even dinner and tomorrow's breakfast. Because of this, usually we only eat exactly half (or maybe even less) of ...
- 8,478
54
votes
How to deal with a suite mate who gossips about me within the first few days of move-in
You guys got off on the wrong foot, which is not to say that things might not change for the better (or worse).
Very few of us actually stop and try to look at things from the other person's point ...
- 17.1k
50
votes
A server in a restaurant got offended when we addressed him as "Uncle"
This might be an unlucky coincidence - in German, young people sometimes also refer to older male persons as "Onkel", but it would mean something like "dude" (informal!).
If you, as a stranger, would ...
- 417
50
votes
Accepted
Is there a way in the European culture to consistently refuse to do small but annoying favors to coworkers and friends without alienating them?
Over here (The Netherlands), declining a request is simple: You say no, you can't help. We ask for favours directly, which means declining them can simply be done directly too. If you genuinely wish ...
- 33.9k
43
votes
Accepted
How can I politely tell a family who invited me for dinner that I'm still hungry?
How could I have politely told the mom that I'd like to have been able to eat as much as I wanted to OR that I was still hungry because I didn't have enough food OR that I couldn't enjoy food if I had ...
- 1,343
41
votes
Accepted
A server in a restaurant got offended when we addressed him as "Uncle"
calling him "Uncle" shouldn't be offensive at all since he was anyway quite elderly for us.
Calling the waiter uncle might have offended him because, possibly he thought that you either mistook his ...
A J♦
- 7,732
40
votes
Accepted
Pointing the index fingers to one another as a way to excuse oneself: is this a common gesture?
Maybe it's just me, but in the UK I would not understand any of that.
It's completely alien to me.
If you work in an international setting, it might be better to use full words and sentences to ...
37
votes
A server in a restaurant got offended when we addressed him as "Uncle"
Referring to any stranger/service professional as 'Uncle' in Western Europe is likely to be received as strange, even outside of the restaurant scenario. You mention that you held this conversation in ...
- 521
37
votes
Accepted
Is there a Russian etiquette on declining offers of food when visiting someone?
Since I'm from Ukraine, the Russians are quite similar in offering food to guests. Ukrainians are even more persistent. For me, when I visiting someone, especially grannies, and I don't want to eat ...
- 1,241
34
votes
How can I politely tell a family who invited me for dinner that I'm still hungry?
There are times that it may be impossible to do something politely, and this might be one of them. If by chance you were truly malnourished and actually required more food for health, then by all ...
- 10k
31
votes
How can I politely tell a family who invited me for dinner that I'm still hungry?
1 pack of ravioli for 5 people? Sharing meals at restaurants? No seconds of dessert? Sounds a lot like my family growing up. Thing is we never thought of ourselves as tight and never went hungry. To ...
- 1,607
30
votes
Pointing the index fingers to one another as a way to excuse oneself: is this a common gesture?
I recognized the gesture immediately from the title:
Some call it “finger twiddling”; it's a self-touching fidgeting behavior and I've seen variations of it IRL (eg joining the palms and tapping the ...
- 369
26
votes
How to communicate with a coworker who repeats meaningless context?
I work in IT and this type of situation happens a lot here in France. In general, the basic thing to do when you have enough info is to tell the other person that she can go and continue her work and ...
- 300
23
votes
How to reply to small talk/random facts in a non-offensive way?
The reason such answers come off as "offensive" is that they're confrontational - you're challenging the other person's interest in the topic, which implies that you don't think they should be ...
- 1,190
22
votes
A server in a restaurant got offended when we addressed him as "Uncle"
I am Indian myself and let me tell you first off that I never call a waiter or any other service-provider anything because I wouldn't know which form of address is acceptable to that person. We can be ...
- 10.5k
21
votes
How to peacefuly deal with a loud religious group
As far as I understand there is no liable solution including to ask them to adhere to basic neighborhood courtesy or the law as they want their service to be disruptive to the "non-believers".
So one ...
- 1,355
20
votes
Is there a Russian etiquette on declining offers of food when visiting someone?
I am an American with multiple friends in Israel. I have been on the other side of this debate a great many times (actually almost got kicked out of a VERY nice hotel in Jerusalem for ordering non-...
17
votes
Accepted
Best way to tell colleague that chat is not a channel for direct response?
So, I'm guessing from your comments you have no idea why your co-worker is showing this behavior. This means you might want to ask them, to get a conversation about the behavior going. Not in a ...
- 33.9k
16
votes
Best way to tell colleague that chat is not a channel for direct response?
People (especially co-workers) who behave like that are just willing to do more. They just don't want to stop working, and don't want to waste time waiting for an answer. They're on their way, and ...
- 22.1k
15
votes
How can I politely tell a family who invited me for dinner that I'm still hungry?
Offer to bring something
Offer to bring part of the meal. Maybe not the “main course” but just a salad, soup or dessert. This way you can make sure that there is enough food and if they can’t afford ...
- 271
15
votes
Accepted
How to adjust to a new country and its culture when people make you feel like an outsider
It's not that American culture is unwelcoming. It's not even that you're doing something "wrong". It's quite simply that teenagers will be teenagers.
Kids seek the approval of their parents. But as ...
- 17.1k
15
votes
Is there a way in the European culture to consistently refuse to do small but annoying favors to coworkers and friends without alienating them?
In addition to the excellent answer by Tinkeringbell I'd like to make some additions (German point of view):
if you can bring forward any external obstacle or principle and
you are willing to very ...
- 281
14
votes
How do I tell my parents I don't enjoy their company?
It sounds like there's a couple things going on here...
Your parents aren't respecting your transition/gender. And they're not respecting your time and space. It may be a bit easier to separate these ...
- 54.9k
14
votes
Girlfriend feels she distracts me with her texts, any good way to prove otherwise?
Actions speak louder than words ever will.
Stop doing this immediately:
As such, I sometimes don't even remember to check my phone or am just too in the zone to read messages. Sometimes even when ...
- 4,780
14
votes
Accepted
How to reply to small talk/random facts in a non-offensive way?
I'm a socially awkward person who often doesn't care to participate in the small talk of those people around me. On the other hand, if it's someone with whom I'm comfortable with, then I'll be the one ...
- 4,356
13
votes
How to peacefuly deal with a loud religious group
Although there are some unique specifics in this question, dealing with noisy neighbours (which is essentially what this is) is always best tackled in a peaceful way. The first advice is always to ...
- 27.1k
13
votes
Pointing the index fingers to one another as a way to excuse oneself: is this a common gesture?
Disclaimer: I never used or saw such usage of that emoji, therefore my answer focuses on its IRL understanding and offers an emoji alternative that may be better understood in an international context....
- 14.3k
Only top scored, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible