62 votes

How to avoid "who are you?" as a response to "how are you?"

You're going to have to find out who they are regardless of how well they know you. You start with something softer. Sorry I've recently got a new phone, who's speaking, please? This basically ...
Bradley Wilson's user avatar
56 votes

Received a large monetary gift from an estranged grandparent - now what?

Write a kind letter, expressing appreciation for the gift. It is very thoughtful of your grandfather to try to eliminate some of the hassles involved in the distribution of his estate after he passes....
anongoodnurse's user avatar
19 votes

How to avoid "who are you?" as a response to "how are you?"

When I get calls like this, I just lead the conversation. I respond to the question with something like, I'm doing great. What can I do for you? Typically, the caller will introduce or identify ...
Chris E's user avatar
  • 424
16 votes
Accepted

How can I ask my ex's parents how my ex is feeling after the break-up without making it too awkward?

If I don't ask at all, I'll feel like a jerk. If I do ask, I might feel I have to explain to them why I ended the relationship (though I'm sure they are aware of problems with my boyfriend)... It's ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
15 votes

How to avoid "who are you?" as a response to "how are you?"

"Who is this?" should be pretty neutral and understandable. Possible variations: "I'm sorry, who is this?", "I'm sorry, whom am I speaking with?"
user541686's user avatar
  • 2,255
14 votes
Accepted

How to decline attending a funeral

Personally, I think that this is a sign of a much larger problem in your life that should be dealt with. I have a relative who decided that, for him/her to heal, he/she needed to cut the family out ...
baldPrussian's user avatar
  • 32.4k
12 votes

How do I get my father back after an extended time of being estranged?

Your mother loves you, and loves your father, so she sees the benefits of the two of you reuniting. Unfortunately, her love is probably optimistic as well. If you had a toxic relationship with your ...
anongoodnurse's user avatar
10 votes
Accepted

How to repair my relationship with my sister?

You are putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself. I too have siblings that are very busy/stressed etc. It's my responsibility to always be available for them but it's their responsibility to ...
Prince Campbell's user avatar
9 votes

how do I get back in touch with my estranged mother?

I will assume that you remember your parents' phone number, and that it hasn't changed. Start with a phone call from a phone that's not associated with your name. If your father answers, hang up, ...
aparente001's user avatar
  • 2,856
9 votes

How to gracefully navigate potentially negative or bewildered reactions to calling a long lost relative?

I get a lot of calls from strangers. They only want to sell me things, not change my family dynamic, but even from that point of view, I can tell you that your current plan is unlikely to be the ...
Kate Gregory's user avatar
  • 44.7k
8 votes

How can I ask my ex's parents how my ex is feeling after the break-up without making it too awkward?

I apologize if I'm reading too much into this, but it sounds to me like a big motivation for asking is because you feel guilty about causing him pain. If that's the case, instead of asking questions ...
Em C's user avatar
  • 13.6k
7 votes
Accepted

How to ask a stranger on Facebook to talk to someone about getting in touch without sounding like a creepy stalker?

Introduce yourself and explain your motives. You're trying to get in touch with a family member, and they haven't responded yet. That's a fairly understandable scenario, and not especially creepy. In ...
Carcosa's user avatar
  • 266
7 votes
Accepted

How to cold call/post a long lost relative?

I think the general idea of your letter is perfectly fine, though I would modify it slightly to be a little more formal and add some more info. I recommend more formal, because letters in general tend ...
David K's user avatar
  • 1,665
7 votes

How can I approach my dad talking to me about nothing but career and life choices?

Try using Nonviolent Communication (aka "Compassionate Communication") with your Dad. The template used goes "When you do [A] I feel [B]. I need [C]. I need you to do [D]." So applying the ...
empty's user avatar
  • 1,638
6 votes

etiquette in dealing with long cold war

On one hand, I want to respect her decision but on the other hand, Stop right there. Why is there an "other hand"? You admit that doing anything other than not talking to her would mean not ...
Em C's user avatar
  • 13.6k
6 votes

How to decline attending a funeral

(My answer is quite along the line of @baldPrussian's answer, consider this an addendum) Stop arguing, and start saying Is a sentence I use a lot. I work a lot with group and team dynamics at work, ...
Stian's user avatar
  • 1,594
5 votes

How can I politely inform my grandmother that I cannot provide my mother's contact information

I'd start by asking if grandmother knows that mother has her contact information. If so, then I'd respond with "I understand you want to get together but that's not my place to give out contact ...
baldPrussian's user avatar
  • 32.4k
5 votes

How can I approach my dad talking to me about nothing but career and life choices?

Bring it up during conversation. When your dad tries to inquire about how things are going in your life, you should respond with something like this: Hey, I appreciate that you're interested in how ...
Kulahan's user avatar
  • 776
4 votes

How to avoid "who are you?" as a response to "how are you?"

I really don't think you need to do anything. Starting a conversation without even a simple hello, even amongst close acquaintances, and especially on the phone, is out of the norm. The problem was ...
user4668's user avatar
3 votes

How to reach out to an old family friend about information about my father?

If you are friends on Facebook, drop them a line in messenger, something like Hi, I am doing my family tree right now (isn't everyone), and I remember my mum telling me you knew my father, is there ...
WendyG's user avatar
  • 2,963
3 votes

How can I ask my ex's parents how my ex is feeling after the break-up without making it too awkward?

TL;DR No, you probably shouldn't ask, and if you do ask don't press the issue. Unless you're hoping to rekindle this relationship it would probably be best to leave it be. Asking his parents about ...
apaul's user avatar
  • 54.8k
3 votes

Received a large monetary gift from an estranged grandparent - now what?

I would like to add to @anongoodnurse's excellent answer. A proper (personal and detailed) thank you in some way (letter, phone call, etc.) is the most appropriate response. It could be, though, ...
Basya's user avatar
  • 131
3 votes

How to avoid "who are you?" as a response to "how are you?"

Something like: "Hi I am doing well thank you for asking. I apologize but may I ask who is calling?" You are answering their question and being a little friendly and engaging, saying I ...
user1921757's user avatar
3 votes

How to talk about what religious denomination you belong to without making the person uncomfortable?

I have lived in Canada for 50 years. People have mentioned their religion and I have never seen someone react poorly to hearing someone was Catholic. 30 years ago I would hear "jokes" such as equating ...
Kate Gregory's user avatar
  • 44.7k
2 votes

How to avoid "who are you?" as a response to "how are you?"

Don't avoid it, instead keep the conversation exactly as you've had it! Even in cases like "Hi is this Masked Man?" Again ask "Who is this?" This time you got lucky as it was an old friend of yours ...
Иво Недев's user avatar
2 votes

How to avoid "who are you?" as a response to "how are you?"

Can you even avoid it, I wonder. I would think that eventually you would most likely have to ask that question. Perhaps you could have tried pretending you knew who she was by just asking how she was ...
Tycho's Nose's user avatar
  • 7,496
2 votes
Accepted

How can I approach my dad talking to me about nothing but career and life choices?

Having been a dad in a somewhat similar situation... He's trying. Being a dad is a hard thing to be. One of those things that you don't fully wrap your head around till you're doing it and questioning ...
apaul's user avatar
  • 54.8k

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