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204 votes
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How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off?

Anne is clearly a fervent believer in saving power. In fact, one might go far enough as to call her a fanatic based on your description. And your mistake has been making concessions, and validating ...
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195 votes
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Ask a girl whether she would like to come back to a hotel with me on a night out without being creepy

Some people claim that, in this "politically correct" climate, it feels impossible to ask someone you are physically attracted to have sex without coming across as a weirdo -- but these people fail to ...
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178 votes

I'm 24 with a 4-year-old son. How to handle uncomfortable questions from people?

Normally, the way to handle overly intrusive and rude questions is by staring a little and then saying Excuse me? Should they happen to repeat the question again, you can then ask Are you ...
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176 votes
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Stopping a relationship with a good friend because It's too overwhelming and new for me

Answer: Try doing the following: Thank him for being your friend. State your problem, tell him that you are not very good at social interactions and are afraid you will offend him eventually. State ...
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  • 7,644
170 votes

How to communicate to my co-workers that they don't have to say "bless you" when I sneeze?

No intention to be harsh, but: Just suck it up and say "thanks". There are so many things I think are odd or unneeded, but society dictates that those habits are polite, despite my personal ...
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118 votes
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I'm in a committed relationship and I'm being hit on in the workplace - how do I stop it without bringing it to HR?

It's hard to deal with someone in a respectful manner if they themselves are not giving you respect. In this situation I would recommend being blunt and get directly to the point when refusing him. ...
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110 votes
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How to respond to questions that feel like I have to defend the relationship I'm in

Keep it short and simple: No. That's a complete sentence, can be delivered in a polite way (depends on your tone of voice). Or Not in my (our) opinion. Both times, you answer the question. You ...
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90 votes

How to make a gift without seeming creepy?

I once had the same issue with an online friend. Since I have anxiety, I was very afraid that the person might react badly to me giving them a gift (feeling embarrassed and awkward). To resolve this, ...
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89 votes

How do I react when a girl I like has a new haircut that I don't like very much?

I've been on the other side of this and I agree that lying is not a great idea. She'll know that you're lying and it will make it sound worse than it probably is. What she wants is reassurance that ...
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89 votes
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How to tactfully check whether my new partner is a man or a woman?

Let's take a few steps back... You say: The result doesn't especially matter to me, but the uncertainty does. You also say that you're annoyed and have been trying to make note of which bathroom ...
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85 votes

I'm 24 with a 4-year-old son. How to handle uncomfortable questions from people?

I used to get that a lot when I was out with my kids... People are kinda rude sometimes, but when it comes to your kids they really ought to know better. My eldest step son is 16, I'm 33. People had a ...
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80 votes

Answer to: "Why aren't you with your boyfriend right now?"

Bit left field but this happened to me recently and I just kind of laughed and shouted: "Because I'm a strong independent woman who don't need no man!" Edit: in response to Vality's comment, the ...
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76 votes
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Afraid of losing best friends, how can I tell them?

I don't think you'll actually lose these friends; but you may not be able to avoid "downgrading" your relationship with them. They were your friends to begin with because you guys were able to meet ...
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72 votes

How to deal with my boyfriend’s mother without affecting my relationship with him?

I am not obliged to bear with his mother as I am in a relationship with him, not with his family You have hit it right there with that one sentence. You cannot make him choose between his family and ...
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67 votes
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How do I prevent people from repeating to others everything I say to them?

Don't give them anything to talk about This is a critical IPS skill that, unfortunately, not everyone comes by naturally. Sometimes you have to really work for it, and it can take a lot of trial and ...
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59 votes
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How to decline a job offer from a previous employer, without burning bridges?

Don't waste anybody's time on this one. You decided on no, so tell them. Don't lead them on by making any outrageous demands. This will give them the signal that there might be something to negotiate, ...
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  • 7,002
56 votes

How to communicate to my co-workers that they don't have to say "bless you" when I sneeze?

I'll pass on something I heard on the radio this week. The local station (SWR1, Germany) had a call-in program where exactly this subject was raised. The suggestion was to pre-empt the calls of '...
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  • 661
56 votes

How can you distance yourself from people you have nothing in common with without being a snob?

Here's the key: I am constantly asked about topics I have zero interest in and it's quite hard to fake interest when asked about topics you don't follow At some level people just won't take to ...
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56 votes

How to deal with discussions about finances with SO without it escalating?

A practical solution In this situation I would suggest opening a joint account together for joint expenses. This is the way a lot of couples I know do things and it seems to work well for them. They ...
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  • 2,601
56 votes

Ask a girl whether she would like to come back to a hotel with me on a night out without being creepy

Hey, do you want to come back to my hotel room tonight? Simple. You already made out with her. Unless she was very drunk and didn't remember or regrets the whole situation, I'm fairly sure she won'...
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53 votes

How to make a gift without seeming creepy?

I'd suggest something similar to @Ælis' answer. However, I'd phrase it like: You: I'm going to be in London for the big Poké event! Her: Omgggg. Really? ... (Poké discussion here) ...
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52 votes

How to tell a colleague to take care of how he looks

Edit 2: Thorsten S. Has mentioned that German culture is different. I will note that my response may be more applicable to most Canadian (in my experience) business/services/companies. If the ...
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52 votes
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How to ask why I was not included without causing a scene?

T saying: guys only thing and discovering This mutual friend mentioned T specifically said his girlfriend could come is clearly a conflict of logic. You are rightfully intrigued as to why you ...
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  • 4,830
51 votes

How do I deal with a coworker who unplugs my monitor because I didn't turn it off?

I've been searching for an answer speaking to compromise and I haven't found one I like enough, so here are my two cents. Anne is definitely passionate about her cause, but I think there is still ...
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  • 22.6k
51 votes

How to tell a colleague to take care of how he looks

There are two points here. First, if you are concerned because of impact on the company, for example because clients react badly to him, then this is a workplace issue. Your boss should take care of ...
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51 votes

Ask a girl whether she would like to come back to a hotel with me on a night out without being creepy

On a more funny note, if the girl has a good sense of humour, you could ask her: “Hey, how can I ask you if you want to come with me to the hotel without sounding creepy?” It may make you feel less ...
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