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204

Anne is clearly a fervent believer in saving power. In fact, one might go far enough as to call her a fanatic based on your description. And your mistake has been making concessions, and validating her attitude by apologizing for small, everyday things. Now she feels that she is entitled, and morally "in the right" to leave you strongly worded messages, ...


195

Some people claim that, in this "politically correct" climate, it feels impossible to ask someone you are physically attracted to have sex without coming across as a weirdo -- but these people fail to understand a simple concept: Consent isn't creepy You should ask someone if they would like to become more intimate, especially once you've established that ...


175

Answer: Try doing the following: Thank him for being your friend. State your problem, tell him that you are not very good at social interactions and are afraid you will offend him eventually. State what you intend to do to fix your problem. In your case go back to not having any close friends. End by thanking him again and apologizing for your shortcomings ...


175

Normally, the way to handle overly intrusive and rude questions is by staring a little and then saying Excuse me? Should they happen to repeat the question again, you can then ask Are you seriously asking me why I have a child? And then just stare until they apologize. You are not answering the question, in fact you are questioning the question, ...


171

No intention to be harsh, but: Just suck it up and say "thanks". There are so many things I think are odd or unneeded, but society dictates that those habits are polite, despite my personal opinion. A very simple "thanks" suffices. You don't need to thank them with a whole sentence, just some positive sounding word to acknowledge their effort. (I'm a ...


131

The first thing you have to understand is that she is a fanatic and that the matter at hand has left the realms of reason and is now a religious one. You can't argue with her on a rational level if she does not even see the irony in wasting paper for reminding someone of their "anti-environmental" behaviour. She essentially does not care about the effort ...


118

It's hard to deal with someone in a respectful manner if they themselves are not giving you respect. In this situation I would recommend being blunt and get directly to the point when refusing him. This answer from the Workplace SE has some great advice about the situation. So, in addition to writing things down after they happen each time, start ...


110

Keep it short and simple: No. That's a complete sentence, can be delivered in a polite way (depends on your tone of voice). Or Not in my (our) opinion. Both times, you answer the question. You remain polite. And it's hard to come up with a way to question your statements without the situation becoming awkward (and then they caused the awkwardness!) ...


89

I've been on the other side of this and I agree that lying is not a great idea. She'll know that you're lying and it will make it sound worse than it probably is. What she wants is reassurance that you still find her attractive. Here are a few options that don't include lying or insulting her, and do include reassurance. Say the old cut was your favorite, ...


84

Let's take a few steps back... You say: The result doesn't especially matter to me, but the uncertainty does. You also say that you're annoyed and have been trying to make note of which bathroom they use and the like. These are somewhat incongruent. It doesn't matter or it does. There's nothing necessarily wrong with having preferences, but be honest ...


82

I used to get that a lot when I was out with my kids... People are kinda rude sometimes, but when it comes to your kids they really ought to know better. My eldest step son is 16, I'm 33. People had a hard time wrapping their head around that. Some still do, but turning grey at an early age seems to have helped. I usually just let them be uncomfortable ...


80

Bit left field but this happened to me recently and I just kind of laughed and shouted: "Because I'm a strong independent woman who don't need no man!" Edit: in response to Vality's comment, the above expression is a pop culture meme, so you don't need to be a woman (or dating a man) to say it. Although, in that case it would depend more on the humour ...


76

I don't think you'll actually lose these friends; but you may not be able to avoid "downgrading" your relationship with them. They were your friends to begin with because you guys were able to meet each other's needs for companionship, entertainment, and so on. Now they are too far away for regular get-togethers. It may be time to move on. Nothing stays ...


70

I am not obliged to bear with his mother as I am in a relationship with him, not with his family You have hit it right there with that one sentence. You cannot make him choose between his family and you - that won't work out well for you. YOU, however, can make the choice. Lay it out in clear terms for your boyfriend: you've had enough and won't ...


67

Don't give them anything to talk about This is a critical IPS skill that, unfortunately, not everyone comes by naturally. Sometimes you have to really work for it, and it can take a lot of trial and error to understand how your actions will be perceived. A good rule of thumb is if you haven't seen other people doing or saying something before in a ...


59

Don't waste anybody's time on this one. You decided on no, so tell them. Don't lead them on by making any outrageous demands. This will give them the signal that there might be something to negotiate, which is something you don't want and is a complete waste of their time. Say no, and if you want give the reason you don't want to follow up on their offer. ...


56

Here's the key: I am constantly asked about topics I have zero interest in and it's quite hard to fake interest when asked about topics you don't follow At some level people just won't take to this attitude; it comes across as dismissive. So... The easy part Some thoughts on this: Use topics you dislike as a bridge to topics you do like. Someone ...


56

A practical solution In this situation I would suggest opening a joint account together for joint expenses. This is the way a lot of couples I know do things and it seems to work well for them. They have a joint account which they pay into a set amount each month (Like the 25% for the house) to pay for joint expenses such as bills, mortgages holiday etc. ...


56

Hey, do you want to come back to my hotel room tonight? Simple. You already made out with her. Unless she was very drunk and didn't remember or regrets the whole situation, I'm fairly sure she won't take this in a creepy way. All you have to do before hand is figure out if she's still into you, by seeing how she reacts to conversation with you. If it's ...


55

I'll pass on something I heard on the radio this week. The local station (SWR1, Germany) had a call-in program where exactly this subject was raised. The suggestion was to pre-empt the calls of 'Gesundheit' by saying 'Excuse me' when you sneeze. Might work...


55

Well, you can always tell the truth: "It's none of your business." or "It's private." Another option, which is also the truth, would be to explain that in a good relationship, each partner must give the other some space to do what they want, which makes the time they spend together more enjoyable. For example, if you enjoy reading, and he enjoys playing ...


52

Edit 2: Thorsten S. Has mentioned that German culture is different. I will note that my response may be more applicable to most Canadian (in my experience) business/services/companies. If the company has a certain image to maintain then it's up to management to handle this. If the expectation was not conveyed at the time of hiring then it should be ...


52

T saying: guys only thing and discovering This mutual friend mentioned T specifically said his girlfriend could come is clearly a conflict of logic. You are rightfully intrigued as to why you are being omitted from this social event and you should be rightfully upset with your boyfriend for being OK with this in the presence of such a conflicting ...


51

There are two points here. First, if you are concerned because of impact on the company, for example because clients react badly to him, then this is a workplace issue. Your boss should take care of it, and the question should be on our workplace site.. If your boss isn't handling it you should go to the boss and explain why you think Bob's image is hurting ...


50

I've been searching for an answer speaking to compromise and I haven't found one I like enough, so here are my two cents. Anne is definitely passionate about her cause, but I think there is still room for you to attempt to talk to her. If I were in your shoes, I'd start by acknowledging the action that caused her outburst: "Hey Anne, I know that I ...


50

On a more funny note, if the girl has a good sense of humour, you could ask her: “Hey, how can I ask you if you want to come with me to the hotel without sounding creepy?” It may make you feel less nervous also. The idea of a question phrased this way is that it leaves some room for interpretation while it doesn’t make you look shy and indecisive. If the ...


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