81

Bit left field but this happened to me recently and I just kind of laughed and shouted: "Because I'm a strong independent woman who don't need no man!" Edit: in response to Vality's comment, the above expression is a pop culture meme, so you don't need to be a woman (or dating a man) to say it. Although, in that case it would depend more on the humour ...


79

Once I went to the funeral of a distant relative of my young nephew, he asked me why I went to the funeral, because I did not even know the person who died. My answer was simple: I came for you, not for her. Maybe you should visit your grandmother not because you care about her, but because you love your mother. Your mother is the one who is expecting ...


57

Well, you can always tell the truth: "It's none of your business." or "It's private." Another option, which is also the truth, would be to explain that in a good relationship, each partner must give the other some space to do what they want, which makes the time they spend together more enjoyable. For example, if you enjoy reading, and he enjoys playing ...


54

My gut feeling is that your brother might never become interested in programming. He might seem interested, but I believe it is still a means-to-an-end for him at this stage (I want to make a game, and programming will get me there). Introduce him to the other domains of designing games, like graphics or sound design and check whether those aspects piques ...


43

There's a few points worth discussing. I will talk about my own experience, maybe you can show him this and it'll be some help to know what being an indie dev is actually like. I did my undergraduate degree in Games Design. Bad decision. It touched on the basics, but in the end I still couldn't make a game. A few years later I decided to learn how to ...


42

It sounds like this could be cleared up with a little more preemptive communication... In the case of her being worried that you left angry a simple: Hey, I'm going to head out, but take your time. I'll see you when you get home. These little gestures go a long way towards reassuring a partner in a new relationship. Rather than letting them guess, or ...


41

It is a dilemma. You're worried that if you speak against your existing landlord, any potential new landlord might think you are the problem; perhaps that your standards are impossible, and that you might cause them grief. If you don't tell the truth though, there is something potentially worse than your new landlord suspecting you are lying. If you act ...


39

A good response might be Should I be? This is a friendly but firm way to let people know you think they're incorrect in expecting you two to always be together, and it gives them a chance to explain why they think you should be with your boyfriend at a particular time. Once you understand that, it will be easier to determine a more specific and correct ...


37

To address your question directly: How can I tell my Mom that I don't care about her mother without upsetting her? You can't. You cannot expect to tell a relative that you do not care about a person that they care about without causing them some upset. However, I won't be obtuse. I feel like you're asking: How can I support my mother without ...


33

Generally when people ask these kinds of questions, they're just trying to get to know what sort of person you are. Your answer gives them a sense of your interests, and how you spend your time. Beyond that, whether consciously, or unconsciously, they're feeling out your soft skills. Small talk gives people a sense of how approachable you are, your sense of ...


28

TL;DR You cannot convince your brother to take up programming. Programming is hard, tedious, and requires a certain type of brain to find any sort of fulfillment in programming. I think that you are misunderstanding the dynamic of the proposed relationship of the situation. Your brother is not saying "Hey, I personally want to build a game from the ground-...


14

I agree with the answers saying this is basically small talk, but have a different approach on how to respond. In my experience (biomedical electrical engineering), nobody cares what exactly you do (programming an algorithm to extract stuff from signals, calculating electrical fields, simulating a circuit), they simply want to be entertained. In my case, ...


12

I am a programmer working in the games industry, so I have plenty of experience with people trying to get me to make their game ideas. In an industry where pretty much everyone has more ideas than they can ever make into reality, ideas are absolutely worthless unless you have the skills to help push them into being. However, the skill he contributes doesn'...


12

Let's look at this : Scenario: Last night we finished up a LARP event and went to get food afterwards then headed off, we both drove ourselves so we weren't waiting on one another, she stayed and chatted to a few other tables while I went off and headed to our place I had to do a web search for LARP - I think my age is showing. :-) I think the problem ...


12

From what I understand, I think I have been in situations similar to your wife's. There were topics I found immensely interesting, yet still didn't have the discipline to invest serious amounts of time and effort into. The problem in my case essentially boiled down to this: Looking at the topic to learn as a whole gives the impression of a huge pile of work,...


10

I think Because we honestly enjoy life better when we trust each other with some autonomy. should shut down the conversation, since denying it would likely involve denying (a) that you trust each other, or (b) that you are enjoying your life better this way, both of which are ridiculous. Make sure to say "life" instead of "lives" to get across that you'...


9

I am experiencing the same exact thing with my roommate. I am a programmer and he is not. He never wants to learn anything about game development, but always wants to create a game: Your brother isn't interested in learning about game development, but only fascinated about the concept of creating a new game. Offer him some Youtube videos that he can ...


8

Explaining technical things to non-technical people is a great skill, one I do not claim to master. I can give some tips though. Try to avoid as much detail as possible. Every detail you mention gives the listener a chance to lose your story and give up. Focus on a story. In the graphic you show, there should be a logical flow through the flowchart. What ...


7

One thing you can do for the people who have already established the pattern of asking this question is shorten the conversation: They: Why are/were you not with [boyfriend] right now/tomorrow/next weekend/yesterday? You: No, we're not breaking up, thank you for asking. For people who haven't "established" their "right" to ask invasive questions yet,...


7

Simple Answer: You Can't. I agree with the advice given by Santiago and Dancrumb. It would not be productive to simply tell you're mother that you don't care about your grandmother, but it would be good for you to explain why you're unwilling to visit your grandmother. I would also suggest, if you can, going with your mother to visit your grandmother. This ...


6

I'm pretty sure that if you had issues with your landlord, that means there were underlying issues beyond their cooperation. If everything goes well, you really don't need to talk much to your landlord, so if you find them uncooperative, that means you needed something fixed which didn't. So if they ask, talk about those rather than the landlord. There were ...


6

To avoid going to an individual social event, the polite and generally inoffensive way to decline is to minimize excuses while maximizing good wishes on the person who invited you. Never say that the reason you won't be there is that you simply don't want to. That comes across as intentionally mean and a personal insult. Also avoid lying. They reason you ...


5

My advice for situations like this would be to try some allusive humour. This applies in many generic situations where you don't like the question. What you definitely don't want to do is: Answer the question properly Look annoyed about it Instead tell them you've killed him and you could do with help moving the body. Tell them you you've dumped him ...


5

So is the question really about what you study? Because you answer What do you study with Math. Or is this question on how to explain what you are studying? So after you respond with math they follow up with question and what do you do exactly? In the latter, from personal experience, people don't want to know what you do exactly. It is, as you stated, ...


5

Find a compromise you can tolerate The joy and happiness that your relative gets from sharing their wedding day with you is no less real and valid than the enjoyment and happiness you gain from staying home and avoiding the wedding. Even if it seems incomprehensible that they should gain a benefit from your presence as one of a hundred guests, that's not ...


5

The two current answers already address the need for compromise, but I think that that's a vital part of this. I also dislike social events and get easily overwhelmed, but if you wish to maintain your relationships with these people, you will have to bite the bullet and deal with them sometimes. Weddings are definitely very significant. To address the ...


5

Background I write software professionally. While that doesn't require the kind of in depth knowledge of physics that graphene electronics would, there is still a fair amount of domain specific knowledge that others would need to know in order to truly understand what I do. My family and friends are mostly non-technical and don't understand what I do very ...


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