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I've had to deal with such situation with family in the past.
My first try, when I was (much...) younger, was to discuss their straight-to-the-point "my solution is the only one that works, do it or die", and it led nowhere but to people getting upset or patronizing. We had fights, and stopped visiting them for quite some time...
My second try (as ...
3
If you're going to intervene in these conversations, try not jumping to the end. By that I mean don't say "don't insist on doing it for her". Instead, engage in what they are saying. For example:
We did walk-ins a month ago; was there an announcement that it is appointment-only now?
(If they say no, but the walk in lines are horrible, nobody can ...
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