New answers tagged

4

This is meant to be polite, helpful advice given like a friend would give advice to a friend. My intent is not to judge you as "right" or "wrong" in any way, but merely to point out a perspective you may not have considered. It is difficult for me to be this blunt, but, since you said "I find it a bit rude to leave someone just ...


12

Everyone seems to be assuming the friend doesn't want to spend that long with OP but it may be a mismatch of expectations. Note that the friend at least does want to have that 30-40 minutes over coffee, rather than declining it because they are busy. After about 30 minutes he said he had to leave in 15 minutes, then after 10 minutes, he left even before I ...


10

I think some of the existing answers are rather kind towards the friend. Yes, there are good reasons to leave abruptly. No, there is no implicit, universal understanding that a meeting for coffee needs to take multiple hours. However, from the question it sounds more like there is an ongoing pattern of the friend inviting OP to a meeting (or agreeing to a ...


29

I am a bit of an introvert, and often experience my "social battery" running dry quickly and with little to no warning. When that happens I get a strong urge to extract myself from whatever social situation I am in, as fast as possible. Before that happens I often have genuine intentions of staying for hours, but once it happens, it is a huge ...


5

You have to understand a little about psychology to have a chance at answering this "time" question. Some people just don't like being in crowds. Introverts, people with ADHD, some people with Autism, and many other types of people just don't like crowds or social situations. Granted, not everyone with neurodivergent conditions dislikes crowds and ...


1

I think you saying "leave it" or "I am fine" and acting a bit disinterested if they ask you about it will be a good way. If you act a bit disinterested then it will give them the message that you don't want to discuss this anymore. Also, it might help to smile a bit and say "it's OK" or "I want to forget him/her". But ...


27

First and foremost: did you communicate a timeframe with him? If not, you can't expect someone to adhere to the amount of time that makes you comfortable. Grabbing a coffee, to me, sounds like a pretty quick chat, so I'd find 40 minutes to be more than reasonably sufficient, but if you think otherwise, you need to make sure he knows. For example, you could ...


5

The issue - cross-cultural communication As you clarified that your friend is from a different country than you and therefore, not an English native speaker and not raised in the same culture as you, it looks like even though you (technically) speak the same language, you don't communicate in the same way. These subtle differences in style can be quite ...


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