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323 votes
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How can I avoid the awkwardness of a returning player who wears a low-cut shirt?

Prompted to give an answer by @apaul, I thought I'd give a woman's perspective here :) As per my answer over at Workplace.SE on wandering eyes, most women are fairly used to the occasional ...
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216 votes
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How to deflect awkward questions when shopping for women's clothing as a man?

First things first. There's no reason to be ashamed. Some people may judge you and you may still be judging yourself, but there's really no need to. Love yourself for who you are and try not to let ...
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  • 54.7k
172 votes

How can I effectively tell people that their defensiveness over me bringing up an issue is part of the issue?

Recognise your own biases When someone from a minority group says "that's racist/sexist/homophobic/etc" and the retort from someone from a majority group is, more or less, "no it isn't" This is ...
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123 votes
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How do I tell a woman that her pants have a menstruation stain?

You say you're sure, but you can't ever really be. It's easy enough to spill or sit on something. And it doesn't even matter: you don't need to tell her what kind of stain it is, just that it's there. ...
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  • 1,492
101 votes

How to politely notify in an online conversation that I am a woman?

That being said, I'd like to politely inform people who mistake me for a man that I am actually a woman. I don't want it to sound aggressive because I don't really mind and it doesn't change anything ...
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  • 4,375
101 votes

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

Instead of saying Excuse me, you are taking all the room. I'd go with Excuse me, I don't have enough space, could you move a bit? It's just less accusatory (and as such, less confrontational), ...
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95 votes
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How can I tell my date that one of her close friends outed her to me as trans?

Trans woman here, so this is entirely how I would handle it from my perspective. First, I like the inclination that you have to tell her that someone is outing her. That is dangerous. People lose ...
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  • 1,677
94 votes

How can I avoid the awkwardness of a returning player who wears a low-cut shirt?

You're right, using mod tools to remove her from the sign up list would be wrong, and it is your problem.Take a deep breath, remember why you're there and be a grown up. This kind of thing is a big ...
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90 votes
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How to tactfully check whether my new partner is a man or a woman?

Let's take a few steps back... You say: The result doesn't especially matter to me, but the uncertainty does. You also say that you're annoyed and have been trying to make note of which bathroom ...
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89 votes

How do I react when a girl I like has a new haircut that I don't like very much?

I've been on the other side of this and I agree that lying is not a great idea. She'll know that you're lying and it will make it sound worse than it probably is. What she wants is reassurance that ...
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  • 1,576
78 votes

How avoid a question about women being loyal housewives?

One thing you could do is highlight the positive qualities of women while avoiding directly contradicting him I find that the women here are highly motivated. The ones who choose a domestic ...
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  • 4,196
77 votes
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What pronoun to use when talking about a transgender person's past?

As a general rule, it's better to ask the individual person how they want to be referred to, whether it be past or present. That said, in my experience it's common and usually appreciated when you ...
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75 votes
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What are appropriate gender-agnostic alternatives to sir/ma'am?

Your concern is definitely something that is changing in society right now - this movement with regards to respecting non-binary members. It's certainly commendable for you to wish to address people ...
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75 votes
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In an online conversation, is it okay to use "guys" to address everyone?

Sure, it's fine to use it, guys! It's fine as long as it's informal. I use it all the time, even at work among colleagues of either sex. I have heard it being used almost my entire life, every city I'...
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  • 10.2k
74 votes

How to ask a man to not take up more than one seat on public transport while avoiding conflict?

Quick note: This answer is writing from my own experience. I fully acknowledge that there are (several?) men (maybe women too?) who are far less considerate than I am and just push out to get as much ...
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  • 5,873
70 votes
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As a woman, how to avoid angry stares from other people's wives or girlfriends

With brief interactions with strangers, I agree with the other answers that there is little you can do. They are projecting their relationship insecurities on to you - this is not your fault, and ...
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  • 13.5k
70 votes

How can I address a man talking inappropriately about women?

You don't usually want to start a discussion, you don't want to attack them, so don't try things like "Now I see how you are still single". Merely express your displeasure: Not cool, man. There ...
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  • 3,880
67 votes

How to politely notify in an online conversation that I am a woman?

In English, and in most cultures that use English as a first language, the masculine gender has historically been the default when speaking about an unidentified person. For example, written ...
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  • 26.9k
66 votes

How can I effectively tell people that their defensiveness over me bringing up an issue is part of the issue?

The problem is all about the tone and how it causes the first impression of your argument to shift. I've had this issue for years, and even with close friends I get incredibly frustrated when ...
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  • 10.7k
57 votes

How to deflect awkward questions when shopping for women's clothing as a man?

I buy clothes for other people routinely. I have never been asked that. If someone in a store were to ask me "who are you buying these for?" I would stare at them in a way that made it clear they were ...
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  • 43.5k
48 votes

How to tactfully check whether my new partner is a man or a woman?

Ask them what pronouns they prefer. For members of the LGBTQ+ community, this is generally a reasonable and respectful question regardless of the physical appearance of the person. It indicates that ...
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44 votes

How avoid a question about women being loyal housewives?

If you ever feel someone's trying to drag you into a potentially uncomfortable conversation, you can always look a little puzzled and ask something like: What do you mean? This lets you postpone ...
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38 votes

How to tactfully check whether my new partner is a man or a woman?

Just ask, after setting up the topic in a way that makes the question natural. There is already too much cloak-and-dagger character to your concern. Begin or steer a conversation towards gender ...
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  • 16.3k

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